Soon I will turn fifty-two … Still in my early fifties (this is my indirect pointing out that I am not that old yet), still very much an active mom (does that ever change?), still very much in love with my guy (I hope this doesn’t ever change), still experiencing the close relationship with my own mom, enjoying my work, my (socially distanced) church, friends and activities.
I am still very much alive.
I have reached that stage of middles … though I do not expect that fifty-two is the middle of my life, that I will live to be called a centenarian.
I am in the middle of adult children and parent, loving my job yet looking forward to days when I don’t have to rush out the door, anticipating retirement and considering further education and a career change, purchasing (a new home, stuff) yet purging, planning for the future yet seeing the future’s end, loving my guy and fearing he might die before me (my plan is me first).
I am stuck in the middles …
and (much of the time) I absolutely love it!
From this vantage point, I have learned that my life needs to have more of two things and less of one.
More doing …
At this stage of life I know that I am on the other end … awareness of the brevity of this life tends to remind one to make the best use of this time. I need to be doing more with my time (this might be something I need to focus on this coming year). As an introvert I can make up so many excuses to not be doing things (other than making a puzzle, watching a British Crime Drama, etc.) … but I have this niggling in the back of my mind that I now have time and energy and ability that might not always be at my disposal. I need to move, to do the things I might not always be able to do, now.
Less speaking …
Greek philosopher Epictetus is noted as having said,
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
In our world today, with social media posts, tweets, sound bites and bloggers (ahem … preaching to self here) it is all too easy to speak our truth and not take time to hear from others (other than their social media posts, tweets, sound bites and blogs). The beauty of being in the middle is that you have opportunity to hear from the past and the future … the struggle is to remember to do listen and listen twice as much as we speak.
Love more …
To love others costs nothing, but reaps the greatest of rewards … a regret-free existence. Actually to love more does cost, but it’s cost is my pride and to reduce my pride is to be more in the black than in the red. I want, when I die, not for people to say I spoke the truth, but that lived the truth … in word and in action. I want to leave this world and those around me, better … less damage, more healing. I have seen what damage can be done when there is an absence or withholding of love in generations … love is the better way.
“I will show you the most excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31) … the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)
itsawonderfilledlife 