July | 2011 | itsawonderfilledlife

Archive for July, 2011

Beast Friend with Benefits

Posted in The Beast, WONDER, tagged Beast, Benefits, humor on July 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I love to walk with my beasty, and when my beast and I are out on a walk we are both seeking the benefits from the walk.

My beast loves the fresh air, and I love the fresh air.

My beast loves the people (who say ‘what a pretty dog’), and I love the people (to greet, and exchange ‘niceties’).Oh, my goodness, how I get the beast and her fattened head into my vehicle at the end of our walks, I am not sure. Every time we are walking towards someone, she looks right into their face, non-verbally communicating ‘please notice how pretty I am.’ And if they do say words of praise, her head goes up higher, her tail wags with the force of a taser, and I’m sure she is sucking in her gut. Then she looks at me as if to say, ‘okay, your turn, tell me just how beautiful I am. And then she walks down the path like a model walks down a runway … until we meet up with another person, coming our way. Seriously, she is the most praise-seeking beast on the planet! But, I digress.

My beast loves the exercise, and I love the walk (you won’t catch me saying I LOVE exercise).

My beast loves the river, and I love the looking at the river to see if it has gone up or
down … lately it is different every day I am there. My beast loves it when I stop to allow her to get a drink from the river. I far prefer to wait until we have completed our walk, drive to my favorite cafe, and order a blended fruit puree … it makes the ‘exercise’ part of the walk so rewarding! But my beast thinks the Fraser River is delightfully refreshing … blech!

My beast loves the bunnies (and would love to catch one), I love to see the bunnies. The first summer we had our beast, she was in our back yard, and very preoccupied with something on the ground. Then the ‘something’ on the ground got tossed up into the air … and it was … furry! So, I quickly went out to investigate. I discovered that she was ‘entertained’ by a half eaten, cute (well, not so cute when I saw it, but I imagined that it was cute before beasty got a hold of it), furry, little bunny (thoughts of Thumper came to mind). Sigh, how could a dog so gentle, and sweet, pretty and who loves and protects us all so well, be so … beastly? (do not answer that, hubby) So, the first thought that goes through her mind, when we see a cute little bunny, is LUNCH! And this usually results in what happened last evening (eight times!), a near shoulder dislocation on my part … as those cute, but dumb bunnies go hopping across the pathway mere feet from my beastly beast! But, I digress … again.

My beast loves to look at the sights and sounds, and so do I. I look at the mountains, the trees and the plants. My beast listens for sounds of a favorite delicacy of hers … bees (and we always know when they sting her, because she gags more than my daughter when she has to eat something green), and looks for the most lush green grass … to crap on!

My beast loves the dogs that we pass … and I love to see them pass! You see dogs, like humans, seem to have an ‘inner sense’ about another of their own kind coming their way. Her tail wags at some, but not at others. Sometimes she pulls to ‘sniff and lick’ with them, but not others. Sometimes it is a poodle … and I get to experience, yet again, a near shoulder dislocation! My beast has a ‘thing’ for poodles … generally standard poodles, not the little ‘toy’ versions. And there is nothing worse for me, than for her to catch sight of a poodle that is off leash (I want to declare right here and now that I do not like people who insist on walking their undisciplined dogs off leash, on a trail (my trail) that is not an off leash trail … there, I feel better now).

We share so much … I can’t wait for out walk of the day.

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Treasures in Heaven

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, The Kids, tagged Life, Memories, Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Treasures in Heaven on July 4, 2011| 1 Comment »

I have written a number of times about our pregnancy losses. The responses I have received to them, have indicated how very common, how very painful and how very life-changing they are on those who share such experiences.

Truly, to have experienced the loss of a yet to be born child can leave a permanent imprint on the hearts of those who loved that child even before he or she took it’s first breath.

Today, July 4, is the 20th anniversary, of the due date of our first child. One who died, in utero, around sixteen to eighteen weeks gestation. I admit that this date has rarely, except on the actual due date, had any significance for me. The date that I have more commonly remembered is January 21. And this past years anniversary was particularly significant.

For those who have experienced loss, any loss, the anniversary of that loss can be felt in many different degrees. Some years the date passes, and it is not until the day later, or even weeks later, that the significance of that date is remembered. Other years you remember it every moment of that day, and the days, and even weeks, surrounding the date.

This year was a little of both.

It was Thursday, January 20, and my family was having a jovial, sarcastic, humorous dinner together (in other words … a ‘normal’ dinnertime). As we were laughing, eating, re-creating the events of the day and sharing plans for the day to come, I stated “I can’t wait for tomorrow, I get to go to chapel!” You see I work in a Christian high school, and every Friday morning our school has ‘chapel’. I enjoy chapel, but I have not ever said that I was eager to go, so it was a rather odd statement for me to make.

The next day, Friday, January 21, I filed into the gym, with about five hundred other staff and students, as well as parents. I was feeling pretty good that day. Eager for a good work day, and for a time of school community worship.

The music began, and it was okay … nothing ‘wow’ish’, but it was good.

Following the worship time, and a few announcements, the speaker for the morning was introduced, a local pastor. I didn’t know him, had no connection to him. He started with prayer, and then addressed the scriptural reference point that he would be focusing on as he spoke … Matthew 6:19-24

… and my heart stopped

… and my palms became wet

… and my throat became so dry

… and my mind raced … what is today’s date?

… and I remembered …

… and tears fell against my will.

The reason for the emotional and physical reactions to the mention, and then reading of that scripture is that one night, as I slept, after the loss of our first child, I had a dream. The dream was of a man, I do not remember what he looked like, but I knew, with everything within me, that it was Jesus. And, in the dream, I handed a baby to Him … our baby. And Jesus looked into the wrapped up child, and His eyes were riveted to the tiny babe, and He smiled … that wonder-filled smile that we all smile, when we gaze into the face of creation. And then He looked at me, with such love, such compassion, such comfort, and He said “I will take care of your treasure for you, until you return. While you have this treasure, with me, in heaven, your heart will be here too.”

And, the dream was over.

And I opened my Bible, and found the passage, Matthew 6:19-21. And I knew that God had given me the confidence of His care for our child, and the promise that we would one day meet, and the comfort of knowing that our child was in even better hands, in heaven, than he or she would ever have on earth (even though we loved that child so much).

And that, for all of my days, I would live my life with my heart focused on the treasures that await me in heaven. And that our three earthly children would grow up knowing that as much as we, their parents, love them … God, in heaven loves them even more.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,

where moths and vermin destroy,

and where thieves break in and steal.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,

where moths and vermin do not destroy,

and where thieves do not break in and steal.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Matthew 6:19-21

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