I knew it would come, I just didn’t know when. And it came with a vengeance!
After a school year of joys and trials, after a couple of months of busyness, after a wonderful week away … exhaustion set in … today.
It all began in the morning with faux pas number one … getting on the scales (after a week of being ever so well fed, on vacation). Lets just say I will be getting reacquainted with foods that are green, and bidding adieu to anything beige! How depressing!
As the day wore on, so did my energy (despite doubling my caffeine intake). I forgot the scales when I chose lunch, and (the worst decision of all) I agreed to ‘do calendars’ with hubby. Not that doing calendars is such an awful event, but that, for me, to actually talk and write down just how busy we are, is a reality I prefer to not face!
And then, while discussing with hubby and son the possibilities of bedroom changes, I felt a horrible, uncontrollable fatigue and sense of overwhelming. There was no way that even I could imagine accomplishing all that needed to be done. I had to find something to accomplish!
So, I cleaned a couple of kitchen cupboards. You know, removed everything, wiped the shelves clean, and put everything back in an organized ‘everything has it’s own place’ kind of way (well everything, except for the mounds of stuff I still need to put … somewhere …).
It felt so good, but I was still in a funk … could be because hubby and I were heading to a meeting at a bank (the financial equivalent of going to the dentist). But that wasn’t really so bad … Mr. Banker had good news 🙂 and that was a miracle in itself.
Still in a funk, I insisted on coffee number three (which could be why I am writing this late into the night). Then I had a plan to take our International students for fish and chips and a walk at the water’s edge (honestly, it was not something I was doing out of love, or enjoyment, or even desire … at all … it was simply something to do … how is that for brutal honesty?).
The fish and chips were great. We played hangman with them (my son and I). Then for a walk to, and on the pier … at sunset …
And, as we walked towards the pier, with the sun slowly lowering itself into the horizon, something started to shift within me. Maybe it was the beauty of the evening. Maybe it was the sounds of the surf. Or the marmot nibbling on the cool green grass, as we walked by (and took dozens of pictures). Maybe it was the wonder of two teenage boys as they saw new sights, climbed a big tacky white rock, pointed at starfish, and watched boys their age setting crab traps.
I think it was the wonder of all of those things. Those moments that reminded me that life includes, but is not about weight loss (or gain), money or schedules or accomplishments or cleaning. But life is about the things that both give us breath, and take it away. And, as the sun disappeared into the trees, my spirits took flight .
itsawonderfilledlife 