itsawonderfilledlife

Archive for 2011

If You go into the Woods Today

Posted in Nature/Creation, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Adventure, humor, If you go into the woods on May 10, 2011| 7 Comments »

I was so sure that my bear fear was overcome, with taking on walking in the (civilized) wilderness. But, alas, not so.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl (that would be me). Now this little girl was a blank slate … in the beginning. But that blank slate got written on … in the form of little kid songs, and poems and stories.

bear

The songs …

‘The Bear Went Over the Mountain”, “The Teddy Bear Picnic”

The poems …

“Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear”, “Round and Round the Garden”

The stories …

“Goldie Locks and the Three Bears”, “Yogi Bear”, “Winnie the Pooh”

Notice a ‘theme’ here? BEARS! I am convinced that they are haunting me … on my walks, in my dreams, and in far too many blogs! And here I go again …

So, it is a beautiful evening. The sun has peeked through the rain-drenched clouds to provide a perfect opportunity to walk my favorite trail. My beast is ready, as always, to walk, and sniff and … poo! My fine-tuned muscles are ready for a good one hour work-out (there’s LOTS of sarcasm in this comment … in case you couldn’t read it). I am ready, in every possible way.

This time, because I am now fearless of the ‘bear signs’, I start at the, more wooded, Derby Reach end of the trail. And my beast went wild! It always throws her off, in an exciting sort of way, when we walk in a ‘different’ place, or do anything out of the ordinary. There are new sights, new scents, and new, unpredictable living creatures to want to chase and eat (like geese, instead of the bunnies at the other end of the trail). But, I digress …

So, off the beast and I go, for our exercise at sunset.

Oddly enough, despite a beautiful evening, despite a perfect trail, despite the fact that this particular evening was the first respite from the recent monsoons, the trail was … quiet … empty … almost … uninhabited!

But that way A-OK, because I was footloose and carefree (if you watched me walk, you would probably add clumsy)!

So we walk to our ’30min. mark’ … a little walk, because I had to go pick up my swimming daughters. We paused to take in the view, the springtime scents, and for beasty to do her ‘business’ (and yes, I had a poo bag). And then we turned back to where we had come.

About half way back to our starting point, I started to notice that my beast was … shirking (I’m not sure if ‘shirking’ is a real word, but Dr. Seuss used it, so I’ll trust his authority). Now my beast is a bit of a … wimp, and shirking is not something new to her (unless a cat walks onto our property … then, heaven help the window she is aggressively trying to break through), but this was … different.

The hairs on the back of my neck felt as though they were going to puncture through my shirt. My heart was pounding so hard that my upper ribs ached. And it was pounding so loudly, I could hear it over the birds … wait! There were no birds chirping … other than my heartbeat, there was no sound … at all.

My fearlessness was gone. Then I started to smell something, something putrid, something awful. I remembered hearing that you would always smell a bear before you would see it … oh no, my fear, could it be coming true? Could there be a bear near the trail I was walking on? Could there be a bear near … me?

I decided to quicken my pace! My beast decided she wanted to not move at all! How dare she turn on me now?! And let me tell you, the way she was acting, I was very aware that SHE would not be my protector!

I paused, looked deep into the wooded areas ALL AROUND ME … I heard NOTHING, and, thankfully, I saw nothing … but, wait … off to my right there was … something … just a dark form, but it was something …

Then I started to have a one-person conversation … with myself …

Okay, Carole, do not panic …

What do you mean do not panic? I’m about to be the lunch at a teddy bear picnic!

Remember what you are supposed to do if you see a bear in the woods …

RUN!

No Carole, think …

Okay … run FAST!

Carole, breath … now think …

(this monologue, dialogue was good, as it took my mind … and my eyes … off the dark form in the woods)

Okay, um … ‘avoid bears’ … that is my main goal!

And …

Um … look tall and don’t be frightened … are you kidding me? That is impossible!

Carole, focus …

Okay, um … play dead? Seriously, this cannot possibly work!

Carole, what kind of bear is it? A grizzly or a black bear?

What? Do you want me to see if I have a bear identification ‘app’ on my iPhone? How do I know what kind of bear it is? Heck, where is it? It’s gone! That’s it, I don’t care what I am ‘supposed’ to do if I encounter a bear … I’m running!

(my ‘other’ voice is drowned out as my life flashes through my mind)

I run, for what seems like forever, and at speeds that even the Bionic Woman could not achieve. My beast is resembling the Bionic Dog!

And then, I feel something, on my shoulder, and hear an awful growl … I’m … gonna … die … It’s got me in a bear grasp … I cannot get free … I kick … I squirm … it won’t let go …

And then, I open my eyes …

It’s my hubby, back in Canada, back in our house, back in our bed (after far too long), arms around me, whispering in my ear …

“It’s okay, Carole, it was just a dream, you’re okay … stop kicking me!”

It took me a minute to realize that I was dreaming …

Welcome home Hubby 😉

“Old Bear slept and dreamed,

dreamed and slept.

When he finally woke up, it seemed to him that no time had past,

since he fell asleep.

He yawned and he stretched.

He poked his head out of his den, to see if it was still snowing.

He blinked, and he blinked again,

and when Old Bear walked out into the beautiful spring day

it took him a minute to realize

that he wasn’t dreaming.”

Kevin Henkes from “Old Bear”

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I Miss Everything about You

Posted in Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged I Miss You, Love, Marriage on May 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »

All day this song has been going through my head …

I’m not sure if it was watching the recent Royal Wedding, or hormones, or, simply enough is enough … I want hubby back home!

He left on March 22 (my birthday, but I’m not bitter …), with our youngest two. They drove to Florida (?????), as part of his sabbatical. After just short of four weeks our oldest daughter and I flew (we are much smarter) to Florida to spend a week with them, and bring home our younger daughter. So, now I’ve been back (without son and hubby) for over a week, and I’ve had enough!

I loved sleeping alone … for the first few weeks … no snoring (or, at least no one to tell me I am snoring), no news programs at bedtime (only DIY Network), no middle of the night traipsing to the bathroom (there’s no one there to startle me, while he’s doing the traipsing … and seat warming), no house-awakening sighs, because the dogs breathing woke him up (maybe because the beast is sleeping on his side of the bed?).

But now, I am not loving the solo bed experience … no one to warm my eternally chilled tootsies, no one to explain the news to me (really I do get it on my own, but I like how he tells it, better than Lloyd Robertson), no one to kiss good night (although the beast does love to hug), no one to say … I love you …

Separation has been good. And I even recommend it! And, honestly, we needed it. It has been … a … year(s) …

So many things get in the way of loving each other. But mostly it is our individual, independent, focus that keeps us from concentrating on striving for ‘us’. His job, my job, his responsibilities, my responsibilities, even ‘our’ kids. But if the pyramid (and I’m not talking some Amway pyramid scheme) of our priorities is out of whack, then everything crumbles.

As I sit here, I realize that we give lip service to how God is no. 1, our marriage is no. 2, our kids are no. 3 … but where do we spend our time? Matthew 6:21 says, “for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” I guess you could even substitute ‘treasure’ with time (where you spend most of your time, that’s where your heart really is), or money (where you spend most of your money, that’s where your heart really is), or thoughts (what you spend most of your time thinking about, that’s where your heart really it). Either way, I know I have been a hypocrite in what I say is my treasure, and where I spend my time, my money, and my thoughts.

So, hubby …

“I miss those blue eyes

how you kiss me at night,

I miss the way we sleep

I miss the way we breath

I miss everything about you

After all the things we’ve been through

I miss everything about you” …

There’s more I miss … but mom is probably reading this one! 😉

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Oh Crap! I Lost the Poo Bag

Posted in The Beast, WONDER, tagged Beast, dog, poo, walk, Wonder on May 4, 2011| 22 Comments »

It wasn’t my fault … really!

Like a good girl (can I still call myself a girl, while hiding gray hairs under regular highlighting treatments?), I packed a poo bag into my hoody pocket, before heading out on a walk on the trail with my beast. But, something so unexpected, so terrible happened …

The day started out so perfectly! The sun was shining (a miracle really, as the monsoons and cooler April weather, had gone on for over a week straight), there was fresh snow on the mountains (cooler weather and monsoons down here equal fresh snow up there), it was cool (but not so cool that I needed my toque), the beast was excited (she’s a dog, she’s always excited to walk … well, except during the monsoons … we are kindred spirits!), and I was ready for a brisk exercise (so I could burn calories, and, therefore, eat more later).

And off we went. I walked the regular distance in record time! (probably had something to do with the fact that my beast, literally, pulls me up the hills … I love her!)

Then, about three quarters of the walk done, she starts pulling to the side (where the grass was). So, I loosen the leash so as to allow her the freedom to find her perfect ‘port-a-potty’ site.

She squats.

I put my hand in my pocket to retrieve ‘poo bag’.

I frowned.

I put my hand, further into my pocket (there was no ‘further’).

Nothing.

Panic set in.

Dog is still squatting.

I hear voices, in the distance, coming closer.

I break into a cold sweat.

What will I do … with the poo?!

I yank the leash attached to squatting beast.

No poo on the ground.

I sigh, relief!

We walk for almost twenty minutes more. The beast in distress with each step (remember she had been in squatting position, so, she is now spending 20mins. ‘turtling’ … you know how a turtle’s head moves in and out … enough said).

We reach the van. I grab another poo bag out of the glove compartment (I think of it more as a catch all compartment). I take beast to fresh, green, lush grass.

Beast sniffs grass.

Beast looks up at me.

I say, “poo beast”.

Beast looks up at me.

Beast sits on fresh, green, lush grass.

Crises averted!

20 Hours Later …

Beast finally poos, in our backyard …

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The Worst Advice I ever Followed

Posted in GOD, Marriage, WONDER, tagged Advice, Marriage, Submission on May 2, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Advice must be the most free-flowing thing out there! There’s advice on our tellies, there’s advice at work, there’s advice from our computers, there’s advice from friends, hubby’s, and (of course) our mother’s, and, once one reaches the archaic age that I have reached, one receives (unsolicited) advice from our kids!

Sometimes advice is good, sometimes bad, and, mostly, ignored! (why is is that I always seem to ignore the good advice, and follow the bad? Will someone out there please give me advice … just realize I will probably not follow if it is good).

I live my life determined to NOT REGRET the choices that I make in life. That does not mean I do not make errors in my choice-making. It just means that when I make a decision, I believe that, in the end there will be good from it, even if the only good is character-shaping (and man, have I provided character-shaping from my life’s decisions). And, if I did make a rotten decision, with adverse affects on my, well, my mantra to myself is always, ‘suck it up buttercup’, or ‘you made your bed, you lie in it’!

There is one time, though, that still haunts me. It wasn’t just the advice that was the problem, but the source of that advice. And, every time I am reminded of it, I wish I could kick myself squarely in the behind!

It happened a number of years ago.

My hubby was in the midst of a period of professional decision-making, and, as any wifey knows, job-related decision-making by hubby will have a ripple-down affect on said wifey. And I was not in a ripple-down frame of mind!

It was becoming more and more obvious that he was ready to make his decisions, but that he was awaiting my frame of mind to swing to his side of the brain (a near impossible feat for any female brain cells to do). I always hate it when hubby is certain of a decision, because he becomes a not-so-subtle salesman, and I HATE salesmen! (just so you know, he is not usually in this ‘salesman’ frame of mind … only when I am on the ‘other’ side of an issue)

So, I sought advice from someone that we both knew, had enjoyed learning from, and he even had professional counseling experience. I told him my quandary, and awaited his words of wisdom …

“The Bible says for wives to submit to your husband, maybe this is an area where you need to do this.”

Okay, ladies … do … NOT … load … your … guns!

I do need to admit that I chose to say ‘obey’ in my vows. I am not against the concept of submission! As a matter of fact, in my idealistic, fully female brain (heart and soul), I do believe that marriage works better if submission is involved. But, what I have come to know and understand more fully, about submission, since taking the ‘bad’ advice, is that it goes both ways! It is mutual submission that is required of us, and that my requirement of submission to my husband, is as serious a Biblical and mariatial commitment as his requirement to love me … as Christ loves the Church!

Ladies, this is where we’ve got the easier part! And ladies, who are not married, if the love in your life (now, or in the future) is not willing to love you as much as Christ loves the Church (remember Good Friday? Christ loves the Church THAT much), dump him like yesterdays news!

Now, I’m gonna go off on a little ‘momma advice tangent’ here …

If he loves you that much …

-he will honor your body ’til he’s committed to you at the alter (HIS sacrifice … well, maybe yours too, but, if he’s really loving you like he’s supposed to … hands off!)

-he will not hurt you … period! Okay, hurts will inadvertently happen, but his decision-making will be focused on honoring you! And that, baby girls, does not hurt!

-he will desire to know you. Now don’t go, goin’ all biblical on me with the sexual connotations of ‘knowing’ you … he will strive to know you, better than he knows his favorite sport team, better than the latest political polls, better than the names of every vehicle that drives by … because Christ knows His church like the back of his nail-pierced hand! And your sweetie is required to know you like that!

-he will love you to the point of death. Sounds a little over the top, I know, but Christ is the example here, and that’s the distance He is willing to go for you.

But, I digress …

So the advice I took, and the advice-giver …

He was (probably still is) a very profession-focused, successful, well celebrated Christian man. Who, in the years following, after profession-seeking thousands of miles from his family (wife and children), was divorced. His children, I am sure, profoundly, affected.

In his drive to achieve his PERSONAL professional goals, which he did, he lost sight of the second part of the biblical reference he had quoted to me. And, in the meantime, lost the most intimate relationship, the most grand opportunity to follow Christ’s model. The one earthly relationship that Christ so values, that He uses most often as a metaphor His love for us.

So, I am still kicking myself in the behind, but …

So, my character is still being shaped, and I have no regrets, and I learned a lesson or two, and the bed I’ve made, well I lie in it … but it’s not so bad …

^“Wives,

understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.

The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church,

not by domineering but by cherishing.

So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership,

wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Husbands,

go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church

—a love marked by giving, not getting.

Christ’s love makes the church whole.

His words evoke her beauty.

Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her,

dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.

And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.

They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.”

Ephesians 5:22-28

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The Royal Wedding

Posted in WONDER, tagged Love, Marriage, Royal Wedding, Wonder on April 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

As I write this, there are less than 24 hours until the Royal Wedding of Prince William, and Kate (who will now more frequently be called Catherine) Middleton. Once this is published, the grand event will be over, the newspapers, mags., (rags) and internet full of shots of the newest royal couple. And people, all over the world will be calling in sick at work, due to staying up way to late to see the event in ‘real time’.

The wedding of Williams parents, almost 30 years ago, was grand, and beautiful and oh, how the world cheered as they kissed on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

I can so remember the engagement of Prince Charles and then Lady Diana. She, the shy, beautiful young girl, with a twinkle in her eyes, and he … the older, stoic … prince (really HE was only important due to the fact that he was a Prince). In the broadcasts of their engagement, she seemed to so communicate love, and excitement, and hope.

The hope she communicated was fully ingested by those of us who were single, young women and girls. The hope of finding a prince, the hope of a fairy tale ending …

Ah, but their marriage, their relationship did not, in the years to come, enjoy the hope of Happily Ever After. It ended in bitterness, broken vows, divorce, and, sadly death.

But that was then, in the past. And William and Kate are the future of the British Monarchy (and of the hopes and dreams of young women and girls world-wide). Their future is still unwritten. And I am sure the world will once again cheer, as the two kiss on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

I haven’t decided if I will set my alarm for the ungodly hour their nuptials are occurring on the telly here. I’m really not a lover of ‘real TV’, as I find it so … unreal. But I do wish them well. Marriage is tough, on the best of days, and with the best of spouses. And they have the curse of the whole world watching their every move … that’s one fishbowl that I would pray my daughters not ever have to swim in.

But, there are many exciting wedding guests on the list to attend the royal event. My personal favorite, and the one person there who might be worth getting out of bed for, is ~~Mr. Bean~~ Rowan Atkinson. I can already see him popping into the official photos, destroying floral arrangements, and falling asleep during the more solemn parts of the ceremony … who wouldn’t lost sleep over a guest who can really make this Royal Wedding one to remember?

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Going on a Mouse Hunt – Part 2

Posted in WONDER, tagged Adventure, Disney World, Mouse, Vacation, Wonder on April 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

We had only one day to do a Disney theme park, and the Magic Kingdom was the chosen one. But we wanted to maximize on every moment we could.

So, we started out, as any family on vacation should … realizing the alarm did not go off when it was set to (well, it did go off, we just didn’t hear it, as the volume was turned off). That resulted in a mad dash to get out of the condo we were staying in (envision the scene from Home Alone, where they were late to get up on vacation, but we didn’t leave anyone behind).

It was a two and a half hour drive to Orlando, with only one stop to gas up and pee. Oh man, while at the gas station we saw this guy whose pants were so low, he must have had pins holding them up! (ever heard the son ‘pants on the ground’?).

But I digress …

So we arrived at the Magic Kingdom.

Our girls had reservations for lunch with all the princesses at Cinderella’s Royal Table (we only needed to take out one extra mortgage to pay for that). So, we dropped them, like a lead balloon, and headed with our son to Tomorrowland.

We spent the next few hours riding rides, trying to figure out where we were, and drinking lemonade slush (it was over 90 degrees that day, and every pore on my body was being cleansed, every minute). Then we had a mid-afternoon lunch, and met up with our girls.

The rest of the day was spent riding every ride we could (including Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and for the girls, Splash Mountain), eating turkey legs (how primitive), seeking shade (by late afternoon, little kids were thinking I was from Monsters Inc. due to my profuse facial sweating), and buying little mementos.

In the evening there were spits of rain (I know my regular readers … mom and dad … will be shocked to know that I actually loved the rain, in this context), and thunder and lightening rumblings. The lightening closed a some of the vendors and rides. But this gave us reason to sit still for a bit, chat about the day, and people watch.

As the sun was setting, the park became busy with staff scurrying around like little mice, setting up for the parade and fireworks to come.

Finally we found a place to view the parade. But, then there were delays (thunder and lightening were the cause). This wasn’t so bad, though, because each delay resulted in more people giving up the wait (with little ones) and heading out of the park, meaning that our view got better and better. But then, the third announcement was that the parade was being canceled 😦

This was somewhat disappointing, as our girls have been to Disneyland, but neither have seen the parade, and this was our son’s first opportunity to see it. It was also disappointing, as we could have left earlier, and then not had to drive home late into the night.

So, off we paraded to the gates, to being our trek home. Unfortunately, half of the park was leaving at the same time! It was not an expeditious exodus! We headed to the buses, which we arrived on, but they were only heading to the resorts. We headed to the monorail, but were stopped by a traffic director who suggested the boats were faster. Our day had gone from Magical to Mundane!

Finally we did board a ferry boat!

As our boat was ferrying us to the train that would transport us back to our car, we were given a little bit of wonder to close our day. It was in the form of loudly blasting fireworks, in beautiful, colorful arrays of light and design. Suddenly, as I leaned over the side rail I felt such gratitude that, despite the all-day-sweat-fest, despite the parade-canceling thunder and lightening, despite the over two hours we would need to drive back to our condo, we were able to end the day with not Mundane, but Magical.

Oh, and the mouse hunt … they are everywhere! The place is infested with the little guy!

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Going on a Mouse Hunt – Part 1

Posted in WONDER, tagged Adventure, Disney World, FAMILY, Life, Memories, Mouse, Vacation on April 26, 2011| 2 Comments »

This was written a week ago, today while we were driving to Orlando, from North Port, Florida:

We are enroute to Disney World, to do a little Mouse hunt!

According to my 11-yr old son visiting the Magic Kingdom is the number 1 reason to visit Florida.

Going on the rides, at the Magic Kingdom, is the number 1 reason to visit Florida, according to my 14-yr. old daughter.

Dining with Cinderella, at the Magic Kingdom is the number 1 reason to visit Florida, according to my 18-yr old daughter.

But for my hubby and I, going to the beach is the number 1 reason to visit Florida!

We are on the west coast of Florida … the Gulf Coast … the clear turquoise water coast … the temperature of which was 78 degrees yesterday! Why would anyone go to Mexico, when they could come here? It is totally beautiful, and the city we are staying is so clean! (heck, why would anyone live on the Pacific Northwest coast? You can buy a house here for just over $100,000 … that’s barely a down payment on a house on the Pacific North WET coast … where the water temperature of Georgia Strait was 48 degrees yesterday! … just sayin’ …)

But, I digress from our mouse hunt.

So, we are now enroute to Orlando, to spend the day with Mickey, Bambi, Dumbo, and yes Cinderella. The last time I was here we came with our, then 18 month old daughter, and I really do not remember much of it. Today will be great, because our kids are old enough that they should remember this for life, and hubby and I are young enough that we shouldn’t forget it for quite some time. Hubby will probably remember more clearly than me, as he keeps hyperventilating whenever he thinks of the cost!

So, my question is, what will be memorable about today’s mouse hunt? Will it be the 18 year old’s lunch with Cinderella? The 11 year old’s riding on Space Mountain? The 13 year old’s experience of riding every ride in the park? Hubby’s passing out cold, and experiencing chest pains related to thinking too long about the cost of a hot dog in the park? Or my vomiting on everyone below me, after eating that $6 hot dog, and then promptly going on Space mountain? Now those are the memories to make a scrapbook of!

I am not sure what memories we will gather today, but I know we will be gathering them. And, I expect, the memories that we take from today that will be the most memorable, the most long lasting will be the ones we experience with a sense of humor, a sense of intimacy with each other, a sense of ‘awe, a sense of … wonder.

And really, if we walk away from today (if we can all still walk after a day in the Magic Kingdom), with tired smiles on our faces, pictures to put in the scrapbooks, memories of laughing together (at each other, no doubt), and having experience a sense of wonder, all that money (currently giving hubby heart palipatations) will have been well spent.

So rodents, look out, we are on our way,and we we will snap you up (for the scrapbook, of course).

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This is Home

Posted in canada, FAMILY, GOD, life, Love, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Future, Home, Life, Wonder on April 25, 2011| 2 Comments »

I write this on April 22, as I am looking out past the lanai, at the sun rising over the houses, reflecting in the pond behind out condo. It is 7:30am, and everyone else is asleep. Ahhhhh!

I have been here, with my oldest daughter, in North Port, Florida (the sunny, turquoise water, Gulf Coast), visiting my hubby, son and youngest daughter, for five sleeps now. They left home, on hubby’s sabbatical, to drive here (from British Columbia … can you see me making the ‘L’ for loser sign on my forehead?). We had all been apart for almost four weeks, when my oldest and I arrived.

In just one and a half sleeps (it’s one and a HALF because the flight leaves at 7am, meaning I’ll need to be at the airport at 5am, meaning the alarm clock will need to be set for … I so don’t want to entertain that!), my daughters and I will board a plane in Orlando, Florida and head back to the Northwest, land in Seattle, and then head to the great north, to the place we call home.

But what is home? Where is home? How can I be sure?

Recently there was a study released of the Best Place in Canada to live 2011. And the four places I have lived were on that list (I always check, because I have them prioritized in my head, but it is fun to see if someone else agrees with me).

Currently I live in Langley, BC … and it is so beautiful! And it was rated #44 … out of 180! I’d say that was pretty good for a place that has everything a person could need or want, in the Vancouver area, and is littered with farms and greenhouses … nice contrast. Our son, Ben, was born here. From the hospital, high on a hill, we could look down on the valley and watch the fog lift in the morning. This is all Ben knows of home.

Prior to Langley, I lived in North Vancouver, it was rated #98. I think it’s good marks must have come from it’s proximity to Vancouver, because it was certainly not it’s affordability! Nonetheless, in the summer, it is the most beautiful place to live (in the winter, you need anti-depressants just to get out of bed). Our youngest daughter, Cris, was born here, early in April, with Magnolia trees, full of blossoms, surrounding the hospital.

Then there was Orleans … and it was rated, for the second year in a row (as part of Ottawa-Gatineau) as #1! This is the home where hubby came to the conclusion that hell is not hot, but cold (-50 windchill will do that for you. Imagine, living in a winter wonderland where tobogganing could result in frost bite … before even taking one run down the hill). Our oldest daughter, Brytt, was born here, just across the street was the autumn colored, trees, lining the Rideau Canal. This was the home, that felt most like home, as so few in Ottawa-Gatineau are from there, so everyone is from ‘somewhere else’, and everyone strives to make it home, for each other.

And then, the only home I knew until I was 21 (and that was half a lifetime ago!), #11 … out of 180, Moncton, New Brunswick! Okay, so I didn’t actually live in Moncton, but a village (my kids think it is hilarious that I grew up in a ‘village’ … their only knowledge of ‘village’ comes from the Shrek movies … quite a comparison!), just minutes down the highway. Only about 1600 people lived in the village … and, believe me, everyone there knew everything about anyone there! It was a great place to grow up, with four distinct, equal seasons (maybe not so equal this year, though). And there are so many wooded areas, you never see bears while out for a walk! (or snakes, for that matter)

But, what is home? Where is home? How can I be sure?

Hubby and I have often talked about moving to sunny San Diego, California, once our youngest graduates high school. You see, we chose Langley as our home, way back when our oldest was in kindergarten. We liked what the community could offer to a young family. We thought it would be good to ensure our kids would grow up knowing, as we did, a sense of hometown. So, we chose Langley as their hometown, and have trusted that God would provide meaningful employment for us. And He has.

The rain, the dark, endless winters (aka. monsoon season) of the Lower Mainland drive me crazy! And I pray for release from this wet, dark bondage.

But, I am starting to see a flaw in our long range dream of moving to San Diego, once the kids are done school. We have worked so hard to develop ‘hometown’ for them, in Langley, BC, that if we move, they will probably stay. All of a sudden, we are faced with ‘home’ without our kids. Now that is not so unusual, nor is it bad, but …

what is home?

where is home?

At one point in our lives it was more narrow, more black and white. It was owning a house. Living in a nice community, that was safe, and family-friendly. It meant finding one school that all of our kids would graduate from.

Here, on the sunny Gulf Coast of Florida, with Palm Trees swaying in the breeze, I am coming to the realization that ‘home’ is where-ever we are, as a family. For this week, home is in a condo, in Florida. Next week, home will be in Langley, BC, for three of us. And from Florida, to Dallas, to San Diego (hello Legoland), to Oregon and everything in between will be home, for a time, for the guys in our family.

We have such fond memories of all of the places we have called home, and, in the words of Maya Angelou, “You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it’s alright.”

April 24, 2011

As a postscript, today, my daughters and I were driving North from SeaTac Airport. As our vehicle crossed the US Canada border this above song starts playing, and doesn’t go unmissed by any of us …

“And now, after all my searching,

After all my questions,

I’m gonna call it home.

I got a brand new mindset,

I can finally see the sunset,

I’m gonna call it home.

Maybe this is home … “

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More than Chocolate?

Posted in GOD, WONDER, tagged Chocolate, Easter, Eggs, Jesus, Life, Wonder on April 24, 2011| 2 Comments »

ANY excuse to eat chocolate is a good excuse, in my books! And today my family will, like millions of people, hunt for chocolate in the most obvious and not-so-obvious places!

Actually, that is not true. Today, I am boarding a plane from the South East to the North West with both (ya! I get to have BOTH of my daughters at home with me) of my daughters. We will either be driving, or flying all day … but I think we will have chocolate with us 😉

Yesterday, my three kids (do they ever get too old to call them ‘kids’ and hide chocolate for them? Heck, my mom could call me anything, if she would hide chocolate for me) hunted for chocolate. And we had a blast! At their ages, 11, 14, and 18, hunting for chocolate eggs has become more about competition than about the eggs themselves … what am I saying, it has ALWAYS been about the competition, for my three kids (they must take after their father)!

But, really, today is about so much more than the chocolate (and if I can say that, with confidence, it must be true … my hubby thinks I put chocolate ahead of everything else, including him … and, at some points of the month, he is right). Today is about the giver of chocolate (no, not the Easter Bunny), the giver of life, the Giver.

So, although I do not usually post on the weekends, consider this my Easter gift to you, the reader.

And a reminder to me of who my greatest gift giver is.

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It wasn’t the Nails …

Posted in GOD, WONDER, tagged GOD, Good Friday, Life, Love, Redemption, Wonder on April 22, 2011| 2 Comments »

Good Friday

What an oxymoron!

Good Friday?

Good? Friday.

Good. Friday?

Good? Friday?

What is so … good, about Good Friday?

I will spend today contemplating a most horrific death, a most vile end of a life, a most traumatizing execution.

I will spend today, tears streaming down my face, imagining the horror of a mother watching her son tortured, and, finally, die, right in front of her.

I will spend today considering the whys and hows of a father … not just any father, but the only father with the means to stop this event, at any time (even before it began). And that he not only didn’t stop it … He purposed this very event, this very death, even before His son was conceived into human flesh.

His Son.

And then, I will spend today realizing that it wasn’t all about Him, the son.

It was, it IS, about ME, today.

It was, it IS, about YOU, today.

The Father, so loved me (so loved you), that He wanted to save us. But saving the innately guilty without cost is impossible! And the cost is always, blood. It is through the blood of His son, that we are saved, that we are redeemed.

“He is so rich in kindness and grace

that he purchased our freedom

with the blood of his Son

and forgave our sins.”

Ephesians 1:7

If I (you) accept this gift, this sacrificial gift, that He never forces upon me (you), then today is, in every way, not just Good Friday, but the best Friday, ever given.

Good Friday? Yes