Normally I do not think of my errors as regrets, but as mistakes that have taught me, and have caused me to grow. Lately, though, a regret from the past has been … haunting me. I awake, and think of it. I lay my head down at night, and think of it.
The regret I refer to is one that, if I were to speak of it when face to face with another, my eyes would tear up, my throat would swell, and my sorrow be felt throughout my body. My regret is for an error I made, when I did not speak up for someone who was being taken advantage of, someone who was being harassed, someone who was being bullied. I … regret my lack of action.
This regret is not one from my distant past. It is not one from my childhood or teen years. It is not from when my kids were little. It is a full blown adult regret. I could have stood up for another, I should have stood up for another, and I didn’t.
I expect that there is purpose in my remembering it lately. Maybe, the lesson for me is that I need to ensure that I never repeat my inaction. I need to ensure that I do not keep silent when I see or hear others being bullied. I need to be on the lookout for times when I might be able to speak up, for those who are being treated poorly.
When I think of my learning this lesson, I think of Isaiah 43:18-19 (to the right). Although I could never forget the regret I actively feel for my past mistake, I believe that God is doing something new in my heart, and in my life through the practice of not remaining silent. And with each action I take, I feel new, I feel renewed … as though by turning away from my past lack of action, I am being refreshed like a dried up river being watered in a dry wasteland.
Doing what is right … it can be hard to make the first step, but, once you do it, you (and, for me, the person you are speaking up for) will be energized by your right action.
itsawonderfilledlife 
Carole,
Our regrets are quite useful when they motivate us to act differently; they can be quite harmful when they cripple us. My prayer is that this regret is one of the former.
God’s great peace,
Br. James
Oh, Brother James, so well put! And yes, this one was the former. Carole
I have a similar regret – in my case it was a moment when I didn’t stand up for a somebody who actually meant a lot to me. My inaction wasn’t prompted by any sort of fear but by a confusion brought on by the fact that in the preceding moments this somebody had been treating me really badly. And then in the blink of an eye all the moments had passed by and only regret was left.
We shouldn’t be afraid to regret or to call those feelings ‘regrets’. Regrets are proof that we are alive and that we are not perfect.
And yet, I think if there was an opportunity to apologise then my regret would serve another purpose.
I think it’s great that you are compassionate enough to have committed yourself to caring and standing up for others.
Thanks for your kind words, Ricky. Those moments do happen in the blink of an eye! May our regrets of the past motivate us to to take those opportunities to apologize and to stand up for others. Carole