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Homesick

Posted in christmas, Grief, WONDER, tagged #griefatchristmas, #homesick, #illbehomeforchristmas, #memories on December 17, 2019| Leave a Comment »

If I hear it, I turn off the CD, the radio … and I seem to hear it so very often this Christmas season.

“I’ll be home for Christmas …. “

Having lived away from ‘home’ for most of my life, I have had years that I long for that childhood home for the holidays more than other years. This year is a bit different, for what I long for is not so much place, but time.

Seasons, such as Christmas, have triggers that can instantly thrust us into memories of the past.

Snow falling can take me back to snowy memories at Christmas time, when new toboggans, skates, hats and boots would be used. A clear, starry night can take me back to the wonder of searching the night sky for reindeer and Santa. Chocolates can take me back to the thrill of when the Ganong red box was brought out of the closet, signalling that Christmas truly had arrived. The concerts of the season put me back on a stage, as a child, reciting lines, singing Gloria in Excelsis Deo. The trees, the presents, the food, the events … all symbols of the season, all triggers in the mind to another time and place.

My favorite memories of Christmas’ past involve Christmas Eve at the my Gram Smith’s house. The meal, the family, the gifts that Santa had dropped off earlier that day 😉 … such sweet memories. Then there was the drive home, my eyes fixed to the skies for the light from Rudolf’s nose. Early on Christmas morning, when the sky was still ebony, we would be awakened by my dad, NOT trying to be quiet, as he moved through the house, hoping to awaken just one of us so that we could get the day started. The stockings, gifts, laughter … such sweet memories. After the gifts were opened the turkey would be prepared for the oven, but also that big red box of chocolates would come out, filling the plastic tree candy holder … and we would study the ‘map’ from the box to plan our one chocolate selection well (there was nothing worse than making a mistake and biting into a vanilla cream one). Then the gifts that were not toys would be organized back under the tree, in a different form of decoration. Later we would eat that traditional turkey dinner, complete with mashed potato (not bread stuffing) dressing, flavored with summer savory. Once filled to the gills, we would play games, make puzzles, enjoy our toys with family.

My memories of childhood Christmas’ have a rhythm, patterns of rituals that cemented the joys of tradition, family and celebration within my being. And I am so thankful to look back and be so thankful.

But, as I ponder and write about those traditions from the place and people I love, knowing that I will only be home for Christmas in my dreams …

I am also feeling rather ‘homesick’ of another kind, missing one of the heartbeats of my childhood Christmas memories. His absence makes me homesick for that place and time, but also for the Christmas celebration in eternity.

I really hope Saint Peter is a morning soul, for he will be awakened raucously this Christmas.

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

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The Mother of Jesus

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged #marryandjesus, #marychosenbygod, #themiracleinmyarms, #themiracleofnewlife, #themotherofjesus, advent, christmas on December 10, 2019| 2 Comments »

The waiting of advent is akin to the waiting of an expectant mom. Then the time of waiting culminates in the birth of the Christ child.

I remember being pregnant at Christmas a couple of times. The awareness and connectedness that I felt to pregnant Mary caused me to ponder her experiences in my heart.

During each advent and Christmas they resurface once again.

I remember keenly the day I made the following statement to my grandmother, when I was maybe thirteen: “Gram, the Catholics really overemphasize Mary, don’t they?”

To which she replied, swiftly “and maybe the Protestants don’t emphasize her enough.”

Mary was chosen, by God, to be more than just the vessel through which his son would be born human. She was his choice. Not only was she to carry him in her womb, but she laboured him through birth, nursed him, cared for all of his needs. She was his momma.

It was her finger that he first grasped, her eyes that he first stared into, the sound of her voice that he first recognized, her touch that most comforted him.

In each of these firsts we see what heaven will be like, but it will be not just the finger, but the hand of Jesus held out to us, his eyes that we will look into, his voice of invitation and the comfort of his touch.

When a woman is expecting, especially for the first time, there is such curiosity of what is happening within her. Truly pregnancy is a mystery with great anticipation and expectation. Each stage, each movement is awe-inspiring.

Truly every pregnancy is miraculous.

At Christmas the miracle of the pregnancy of Mary is central to the narrative.

In the genealogy of Jesus, is recorded the most intimate of connections to Jesus,

“Joseph, the husband of Mary,
and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah.“

To be the mother of Jesus was a high calling, one that need great emphasis, as our Word emphasizes not just her name, but her role (and name) of mother.

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Why Mary?

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged Breath of Heaven, chosen, christianity, christmas, Mary, the mother of Jesus, The Nativity, Why Mary? on December 9, 2019| 3 Comments »

The various characters of the Christmas story each play a vital and intentional role.

Herod is the insecure leader, willing to do anything to hold his throne. The shepherds are the unwitting observers just doing their thing, when the heavenly hosts came to make their great announcement to the Earth. Joseph is the strong and silent blue collar man engaged to the pregnant Mary.

And Mary, she is the young woman who delivers heaven to earth.

There are many who place Mary up on a pedestal near or at the place of Jesus. There are also many who view her as no greater than any other of God’s human creations. I tend to walk the fence on this one … and you can blame my grandmother.

I remember so clearly, as an adolescent girl, asking my grandmother why some people elevate Mary so greatly, whereas the small church (and when I say small, it was really small. I remember when we would sing “The Church in the Wildwood” I thought it was written about her church) she attended barely spoke of her. I have always remembered the response she gave, “well, God did choose her to be the mother of Jesus, I think we should elevate her a lot more than we do.”

I have been wondering and considering her words ever since, and how they fit into my worldview.

Maybe Mary had the faith of a mustard seed that I would so love to have. Maybe Mary was able to know no fear, because she had grown up in a time and a culture of verbal history telling. Maybe the generations old anticipation of the Messiah was so desired and longed for that all fears were erased, because the Messiah was finally coming to Jews (and the Gentiles), to remove them from their bondage.

Do we, as Mary, anticipate and desire the second coming? Are we able to put our fears aside, knowing that, in the end (as was true in the beginning) God is in control?

I think my grandmother was right about Mary. God chose her to be the mother of Jesus. He could have chosen another way to send His son, and He could have chosen any other woman. But, he choose Mary.

Perhaps it is the words of Elizabeth that give us the most insight as to God’s choosing of her to bear the son of God, “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” Luke 1:45

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When our Heart is Filled with Sorrow

Posted in christmas, Grief, WONDER, tagged #advent, #griefandchristmas, #joy, #whenourheartisfilledwithsorrow on December 8, 2019| 4 Comments »

It rained … five out of our first seven days home. We returned to work, dealt with jet lag, exhaustion. The schedule was still too packed to do what, humanly, was most needed … mourn.

Saturday morning arrived like cool balm on a hot burn. The schedule open, the pace relaxed. Then it happened … the emotional processing of what the mind had been containing.

The sadness that is very real. The recognition of what I lost when my dad died. The acknowledgement of the earthly permanence of death.

How do we prepare for the Christmas season, when our heart is filled with sorrow?

On my way to work one day this week, I turned on the CD in my vehicle. It is my only Christmas music CD. As I reached to push play, I paused, specifically negotiating whether or not I was ready … prepared for Christmas music, or if it might ignite a teary downpour, leaving me to enter work looking like Tammy Faye Baker (I know, it’s a dated comparison). I was specifically fearful that Joy to World might be on the CD. Thankfully, Josh Groban’s, Noël was safe for my emotions on the edge.

But that song, Joy to the World, had already infested my thoughts, causing my memory to sing it, over and over, like the song that never ends.

Joy to the World, written by Isaac Watts, was printed in 1719 … three hundred years ago! It is a song which tells of the redemption of the world, through the blood and sacrifice of Jesus.

As I write this I wonder how it came to be a Christmas song, as opposed to an Easter one.

Yet, we cannot have one without the other. For the babe in the manger grows up to become the sacrifice on the cross.

And it is in this juxtaposition of images … newborn babe sleeping, man bloodied and dying that allows us to both mourn and celebrate at the same time.

It reminds me of our time at the funeral home (not two weeks ago), when we would feel the sadness of what we were doing one moment, and laughing to the point of belly ache the next.

Psalm 69:29-32 (Message) also speaks to such juxtaposition:

I’m hurt and in pain;
Give me space for healing, and mountain air.
Let me shout God’s name with a praising song,
Let me tell his greatness in a prayer of thanks.
For God, this is better than oxen on the altar,
Far better than blue-ribbon bulls.
The poor in spirit see and are glad—
Oh, you God-seekers, take heart!

How the Psalmist starts out speaking of their pain, their need for healing, then goes on to shouting praises, thanks to God … this praise in the pain is better than “blue-ribbon bulls”, or as Amy Grant sings, Better than a Hallelujah to the ears of God.

How do we prepare for the Christmas season, when our heart is filled with sorrow?

We sing through the sorrow, we celebrate through the sadness, we praise through the pain.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King!
Let ev’ry heart prepare Him room,
and heav’n and nature sing,
and heav’n and nature sing,
and heav’n, and heav’n and nature sing.

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Hope in the Valley

Posted in christmas, FAMILY, WONDER, tagged #advent, #hope, #hopeinthevalley on December 1, 2019| Leave a Comment »

Hope … that is the word on this first Sunday of Advent.

As we enter this season of waiting, we begin with hope …

because hope is what helps us to take one step, after another.

As I awoke this morning, I felt the heaviness of the day … it took effort to convince myself of the hope that is promised. I left to head across the country. I left my mom to do the things, internally and externally, that follow death. My heart aches for her, for her heartbreak, for her loss of her life’s love and the things that need to be done after a life is all done, buried. I felt hope slip through my fingers and toes, as I tried to imagine her grief, exhaustion …

like wandering through the wilderness.

That is what today, what hope is for … to help us put one foot in front of the other, as we walk that pilgrim journey through the valley of dark shadows.

The hope of the world is Jesus, from the first hints in the Garden to the manger in a dusty, dirty stable in Bethlehem. We put our hope in what we cannot see, Jesus, the very Son of God, the rescuer and redeemer of our weak and weary world.

Jesus … the rescuer of those who grieve, those who are heartbroken … like a cane for the lame, he steadies, supports as we place the weight of our world on him.

I know it’s all you’ve got to just be strong,
and it’s a fight just to keep it together
I know you think that you are too far gone,
but hope is never lost

hold on, don’t let go
Just take one step closer,
Put one foot in front of the other
you’ll get through this
Just follow the light in the darkness
You’re gonna be okay

I know your heart is heavy from those nights
but just remember that you are a fighter.
You never know just what tomorrow holds
And you’re stronger than you know

When the night is closing in
don’t give up and don’t give in.
This won’t last, it’s not the end
You’re gonna be okay

“Out of the depths I call to you, Lord!
Lord, listen to my voice;
let your ears be attentive
to my cry for help.

I wait for the Lord; I wait
and put my hope in his word.
I wait for the Lord”
Psalm 130:1-2, 5-6

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In the Hustle and Bustle

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged #advent, #ashootfromthestumpofjesse, #inthehustleandbustle on November 14, 2019| 2 Comments »

Can you feel it? Hear it? It is emerging from all over our communities. It comes cloaked in joy, noise, warmth and excitement. It begins to appear when the summer is full, but now it does so boldly, loudly, brightly.

It’s the hustle and bustle of the coming season. It’s the red cups, and colored lights, and festive music, and craft fairs, and peppermint everything, and cardboard packages delivered to our doors.

For the next six weeks this season of celebration will be in the forefront, singing out it’s song in extrovert fashion.

There will be those of us who join in the dance, like a conga line, embracing that which brings us feelings of joy, nostalgia. There will be those who oppose the flamboyance of nativities, conifers and carols, calling them religious indoctrination.

In the midst of this season of hustle and bustle, of financial cost, of parties, and refreshments, and decorating, and songs of the season

quietly grows a branch

Zechariah 6:12 says,
“tell him this is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Here is the man whose name is the Branch, and he will branch out from his place and build the temple of the Lord” (my servant the branch – Matthew Henry Commentary)

Jeremiah 33:15 says,
“In those days and at that time I will make a righteous Branch sprout from David’s line; he will do what is just and right in the land” (the branch of righteousness – Matthew Henry Commentary)

Isaiah 11:1 says,
“A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit” (a rod out of the stem of Jesse and a branch out of his roots – Matthew Henry Commentary)

and Isaiah 4:2 says,
“in that day the Branch of the Lord will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory” (the branch of the Lord – Matthew Henry Commentary)

Christ is the branch that grows, whose arrival is reason for the season … but Christ is not the reason for the hustle and bustle.

The environment of Christ’s birth was filled with hustle and bustle. His parents had travelled to the homeland of his earthly father, Joseph, to be counted for taxation purposes of the government. Bethlehem was packed with the noise and smells and stresses of the people and animals that descended on the town.

Advent, the season of anticipation, of waiting, has not even begun … but still, in the hustle and bustle grows a branch. In the quiet, it grows, stretching out, for us … to give life, to produce the fruits of this branch.

O come, thou Rod of Jesse, free
thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
from depths of hell thy people save,
and give them vict’ry o’er the grave.

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Love Came Down

Posted in christmas, tagged #christmas, #christmasday, #godsenthisson, #godsoloved, #happybirthdayjesus, #john316, #lovecamedown, #redemption on December 25, 2018| Leave a Comment »

Merry Christmas!

As this day dawns, our souls sing Joy to the World, as the Silent Night has birthed a new day with the angels singing, Glory to the new born King.

This is the day that advent prepares us for, the day that love came down.

God sent his son, to give us hope that we might know of his kingdom, that we might have our sins forgiven (and forgotten), that we might have his Spirit to guide us, that we might return to the beauty of Eden, where we can walk and talk with God himself.

There is no message more important, more practical, more true than this:

“For God so loved the world
that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish
but have eternal life.
For God did not send his Son into the world
to condemn the world,
but to save the world through him.”
John 3:16

For redemption is the best theme of any story, for it is the theme of our story … we are reminded today of that offering of redemption … we just have to choose to receive it, hands and heart open.

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Do Not Be Afraid

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged #angelicmessengers, #castyourcaresonhim, #donotbeafraid, #faithnotfear, #fearnot, #lifechangingnews on December 23, 2018| Leave a Comment »

Whenever I read the four words, “do not be afraid” in the Christmas story, I have the instantaneous thought, “ya, right!”

Some heavenly being, shining bright like a diamond, is standing in front of me and let me tell you, I would be shaking in my boots.

I think, though, that when angels appeared and said those words, they were actually not speaking of themselves, the messenger, but the message that they were delivering.

Their news was good news, but even good news can cause inner quaking. Ask any woman who discovers she is pregnant, student who discovers they are accepted at their desired university, person who is approved for a house purchase and they will tell you that fear is one of the emotions they are feeling.

The news of the angels was news that was life-changing.

Zachariah, the father of John (the Baptist) was told that his wife would have a baby boy, and that he would prepare people for the arrival of the Messiah.

Mary was told that she (a virgin) would be impregnated by the Holy Spirit, and her child would be the long-anticipated Messiah.

Joseph was told that he could still wed pregnant Mary, who was still a virgin, and that this son would save his people.

Then, the angels came to the shepherds:

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Luke 2:8-12

In an article called Do Not Be Afraid Fighting Fear With Faith, Bill Dodds says that faith and fear are not exclusive, but fear is easy. Isn’t that the truth?! It is so easy to allow our fears to dominate our thoughts, then they lead our actions.

We all experience fear, that is why we are reminded over and over in the scriptures to cast our anxiety on him.

This is where faith comes into the mix, for faith is a perfect elixir for fear. Faith that God is with us in our muck, Faith is that act of keeping our eyes on God, even as our boots gets sucked into it.

When the angels said, “do not be afraid” they were not saying that things would go smoothly, they were reminding the people that what was coming was coming in conjunction with God’s Good News, and that, as said by St. Gregory, “We do not render true service to God so long as we obey from fear and not from love.”

“F-E-A-R has two meanings:
‘Forget Everything and Run,’
or,
‘Face Everything and Rise.'”

Zig Ziglar

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And He Shall Reign Forever

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged #andheshallreignforever, #deadmanwalking, #inthisworldyouwillhavetrouble, #overcomersnotvictims, #repentandbelieve, #takeheart, #unfair on December 18, 2018| Leave a Comment »

That said, unfair seems a rather over-used word, for those of us who are Christ-followers, in today’s vernacular.

I have rolled my eyes, shook my head, furrowed my brow and even written letters to government leaders, when I have seen and heard of unreasonable actions and inactions.

Everything from antagonism over saying Merry Christmas, seasonal light displays and whatever other acts of political correctness that get our Christian knickers in a knot.

“In this world you will have trouble.”

Jesus had different expectations on what it was to live a life as a follower of … him. He knew that those who followed him would be following a dead man walking.

His days were numbered, he knew that full well. Soon he would be praying in the Garden of Gethsemane for God to take the cup from his hands.

The long-expected Messiah was expected to be the king who would undo the injustices of the political leaders of the day. He would put everything in order … ensuring that his people would be able to take their right places in society (aka, on top).

Yet, if we look at the prophesies, we see clearly that the arrival of the Messiah was not going to be a love-fest:

“He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”
Isaiah 53:3

Not only was Jesus not creating an army, but he was actually asking something intimate of people. He was asking those who had been anticipating his arrival, who were looking for an earthly saviour, the ones who had lived a life of being unfairly treated in their society, to be humble, to confess their sins:

” … the kingdom of God is at hand:
repent you, and believe the gospel.
Mark 1:15

Jesus’ reign, as king, had little to do with power and a crown and a throne … he reigned wearing a crown of thorns, from a wooden cross, from an empty tomb. The inequity of his reign is that we sin (not just back-in-the-garden-of-Eden past tense, but today, every day in the very real present), and he died, so that we get to live an eternity.

“In this world you will have trouble.”

When Jesus said those words (above), he didn’t stop there … with a message of doom and gloom.

In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

His reign is in our hearts, something that those who came before Jesus never had available to them. We are not victims, we are overcomers, through the blood of Jesus. We have so much! And that which is a struggle, we do not struggle with alone.

Yes, there are things that should sadden and even outrage us. We should write, call, email and text our government officials, for we are citizens here and that is both our right and responsibility.

But, we are not victims!

We are children of the king, “and he shall reign for ever and ever” (Revelation 11:15).

“The people walking in darkness
    have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
    a light has dawned
…
For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
    there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
    and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
    with justice and righteousness
    from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
    will accomplish this.”
Isaiah 9:2, 6-7

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Good News that brings Relief

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged #christmas, #comejesus, #goodnews, #goodnewsofchrist, #goodnewsofgreatjoy, #goodnewsthatbringsrelief, #lovecamedown, #nolongerapartfromgod, #relief on December 16, 2018| Leave a Comment »

Relief … a word as much as an emotion, as much as a guttural moan.

When hubby responded to my questioning text, about our son’s road test result, with “he just gave me the thumbs up,” I felt great relief. When each of us in the family got the news, we all felt relief. We all just needed a little good news, a break in the seemingly endless line of news that was not good.

Christmas, as much about the season of waiting, is one about relief … relief had come, and was felt through it’s good news.

This is why the wise men left their safe and warm observatories to find the newly born king (Jesus). It is why a host of angels came to tell shepherds in the fields near Bethlehem of the new born king. It is why the shepherds left their flocks after being told of the birth of the Saviour (Jesus). It is why Herod, when he heard that the wise men were searching for a king, told them to report back (and why they returned home a different route).

The Saviour, Redeemer and King had finally come. This is why we sing hymns and carols like “Come thou Long Expected Jesus”, “O Come O Come Emmanuel” and “Joy to the World”. The anticipation and expectation of the coming of one to bring long awaited good news was great.

And what was the news that Christ was bringing?

The good news that Christ brought
was that we would not longer have to live
apart from God.

His virgin arrival as a vulnerable babe, he grew up as the word incarnate, fulfilling the prophesies that foretold of the Messiah, who would come to bring light to the world dominated by darkness. Then he died, a cruel and deliberate death, separating him from his Father. But on the third day, he toppled the darkness of death, left his grave, then walked and talked with his closest people.

… and this good news just keeps bringing relief.

“The Son of God became a man
to enable men to become sons of God.”
CS Lewis

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