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A Heart-Shaped Meadow

Posted in life, Love, Marriage, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged devoted, England, heart-shaped field, Janet and Winston Howes, Legacy, Life, Love, Marriage, oaks, planted, South Gloucestershire, Wickwar on July 31, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It all started with a picture …

That is how my interest in this story began, with a simple picture, and a short story.

The story is a love story. It is one that makes you say “awwww …” when it is over. It is one that makes you have hope in love, and in the institution of marriage. It is one that could become a Nicholas Sparks novel. It is one that makes women wonder, “would I ever be loved and missed that much.”

This is the story of a couple married over thirty years, that quickly ended by death of the wife, Janet. Her heart-broken husband, Winston … well, how about you just go ahead and read the attached article.

Heart Shaped Legacy

It is a worthwhile read!

Carole

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I love Summer … really!

Posted in canada, life, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged Break, Calvin and Hobbes, happy, Life, monsoons, no schedule, no school, Prozac, Refreshment, renew, Summer, summer break on July 13, 2012| Leave a Comment »

After about nine months of complaining about monsoons, and living on the Wet Coast, Mother Nature has finally given birth to the best season of the year … summer.

I love summer! The sun and the break from work, school, after-school activities, and … SCHEDULE make me smile every day. I awake each day ready smiling, and lay my head on my pillow at night muttering (with a smile across my face), “hubby, have I told you that I love summer?”

I feel refreshed by the change of pace. I feel energized by the solar rays casting down from heaven, just for me! I feel unhurried, unencumbered (by dreadful head to toe covering clothing), and uninhibited by anything. Heck, most days I do not even remember what day it is!

Even our pool (aka the Cesspool) seems to be happier since the sun awoke from it’s L O N G winter’s (and spring’s and fall’s) nap.

I am so content with this season, that I could even have been heard humming while cleaning the loo just the other day, while saying to no one, “I love summer!” And you know that the season has gotten to my head when I can clean the porcelain god with a smile on my face.

My son and I have gone for sushi. My eldest daughter and I have had lunch together. I have had coffee with a couple of friends, and even played in our pool a few times. We have had one pool party, a couple of dinner dates in our backyard with friends, and children of all ages over for a dip … complete with the making of many, many, many s’mores (and if you are looking for a good s’more variation, try Nutella instead of chocolate).

Hubby and I cleaned up the garage a bit, and got one of the gates hanging. I started one renovation project, which, as usual, will turn into three, or four, or … But all is well, because summer does not have the same pressures of winter. And really, just having the sun shine makes everything better.

My summer has not even been exciting yet! And yet, every day is fresh, and revitalizing and life-giving. I just hope it doesn’t go too quickly.

See, I can write a post on the weather, and make you wonder if I should get a prescription for Prozac 😉 .

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Thunder and Lightening

Posted in life, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged Alive, cleansing, humidity, Life, Lightening, miss, rain, refreshing, Storms, Thunder, Thunder and Lightening on July 4, 2012| 1 Comment »

I miss the thunder and lightening storms that I grew up with on the East Coast.

I miss them from our life in Ottawa as well.

Where I live, on the west coast, we do not get many thunder and lightening storms, and when they happen, they are short lived, and not terribly dramatic.

For many, there would be no ‘missing’ of thunder and lightening storms, but I truly do.

I miss how they made my heart pound.

I miss how they made the house shake. I miss the rumbling of the Earth, the shaking of the pictures on the walls, as the lightening hit nearby.

I miss counting from one clap of thunder until the next … counting how close it might be.

I miss the power going out, and darkness only being distinguished by the eye-blinding flashes of unpredictable lightening.

I miss the way such a storm would draw the whole family together in one room, as if we were together to play a game, or watch a flick, or share a meal.

I miss the story-telling that would come of the togetherness. Stories of storms past. Stories of how we, how other responded to the storms. Stories of those we knew, stories of those we had only heard of. Stories of fear, of bravery, of loss and of delight.

I miss the air cleansing rains that come after the storm. The rains that push the heaviness in the air away, far away. And replace it with a newness that breathing is intentional, so as to cleanse our lungs as well. All that was heavy, all that was life-hindering, all that was suffocating, was changed by the ear-pounding thunder, the earth shaking lightening that scared us to the point of alertness.

And the rains came, and washed all evidence of all that had been stealing our breath, so that we could take joy in the gift of living, the gift of every breath.

I miss it, I miss them, because the shock and fear that they produced reminded me that I am alive.

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Rainy Days and Mondays

Posted in life, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged Depression, down, his eye is on the sparrow, Love, rain, rainly days and Mondays, Summer, sunshine, Thankful, the Carpenters on June 18, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I’ve got Karen Carpenter singing in my head, as I sit at a coffee shop, watching the rain fall, and looking at the depressing forecast for the week to come.

It is now mid-June and the monsoons continue, with little relief (aka. sunshine) in sight … literally.

I have yet to swim in our pool, get a suntan, or have the sun hide my darker (or lighter, as the case may be) roots. I have yet to wear shorts, a tank top or sunglasses. I wear only hoods, slickers and galoshes. And I am considering that Prozac might just be a big part of my near future.

Despite how it sounds (and looks) the weather is not all doom and gloom. This west coast winter weather in springtime does make it easier to keep the grass green and the plants watered. It makes the final days of working in a school, before summer break, far more bearable. It makes barbecuing less appealing, and using the slow cooker more appealing.

All that said, the first day of summer is this very week. The countdown is not down to days, but hours, and the calendar may just turn without any other outward signs of this seasonal change. Today, that reality is really getting me down.

Just a week ago the office administrator at our church had put the following on our church sign:

“Whoever it is that is still praying for rain,
STOP!”

I have to say, it was my favorite message board saying ever!

As I sit, enjoying my warm drink (a London Fog … could I choose a more appropriate cool and wet weather drink?), I noticed a small, sparrow-like, bird looking for edible treasures outside the window. For this small creature, the rain does not seem to hinder it’s daily routine. As a matter of fact, it is probably benefiting from the wet soil that draws the worms out of the ground, making it’s take-out meals more like delivery.

Out of nowhere an old, old (like over a hundred year old) song starts playing on the record player of my mind:

“Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.”

The words make me wonder, is this less appealing weather worthy of complaint? Why am I allowing something that is so out of my control, to control how I look at this day? Even when my complaint is of greater value than the reports of a meteorologist, there is always something to be thankful for, because there is always one who watches over, cares for and loves me.

“Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny, but it seems that it’s the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me”

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Exhale

Posted in GOD, life, Nature/Creation, The Beast, The Hubby, The Kids, WONDER, tagged 2 Corinthian 4:18, brain fogginess, eternal, exhale, path, security, Spring, temporary, unseen, walk, worry on April 30, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It was a beautiful day for a walk on my favorite trail, with my beast. A little podalic (things pertaining to feet 😉 ) therapy!

I felt as though it had been forever since we had the freedom for this most favorite activity, and that my fuzzy brain cells were calling out for it.

For a change, we did not speed walk. Instead it was a leisurely wander through the trails, taking in all of the details of change that spring brings along the path. Even my beast seemed unbothered by the change in pace.

As I started to walk, I exhaled. The kind of exhale that says, I need to purge my mind of all that is within it, of all that is overloading it. To purge it, though, means to first acknowledge all that is being, mentally, held on to.

I had been preoccupied about my husbands job security, and how that affects everything about our family’s life. I had been thinking about what I want my professional future to look like. About our eldest daughter’s plans to move away in the fall. About my other daughter’s summer. Wondering if we were being intentional enough with our son to build a firm foundation for the teen years to come. If we were meeting the needs of our International students , and if their presence was coming between ourselves and our own kids. Wondering about the future, about homes, and money and travel, and where our future would take us.

I was allowing my insecurities, and lack of vision of the future to hinder my ability to enjoy the present.

I stopped, and sat on a bench to enjoy the river. I thought of how the rising river made it fit it’s banks so much better than it had a couple of weeks earlier. On the other hand, the rising river could also mean impending doom for people whose homes or businesses are near the river. The future of the rising river is unseen.

Then I thought of my Magnolia tree, that is ready to burst into full flower. It will not bloom, though, until those hard, ugly shells open up with the pressure of the petals to burst free. Those hard, boring, ugly shells have kept the beauty hidden and safe, while they grew and prepared to show themselves in spring. If I did not know what is unseen, I might pluck those ugly shells off of them. But, because I know of the beauty that is currently out of sight, I wait for the beauty within to open up.

Then I looked at my beast, who had just plopped herself down on a bunch of dandelions. She has no insecurities in this world. She looks to me, as her co-master, and trusts that, although her bowl might get empty, it will be refilled again. She is not worried about much of anything (other than an intruder on the property, like a cat, or squirrel, or stray leaf blowing in the wind), because she trusts that as long as her masters are near, her needs will be met, because her masters care for her.

I realized that true beauty and true security do not come from what we know, or from what we can see. I remembered the words of 2 Corinthians 4:18, “so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

My brain cells are still a bit fuzzy, and I am still concerned about some of the aspects of life that endanger my understanding of security, but, I know that what is unseen might just be the most beautiful thing to come, and that I can be confident of how much my master cares for me, and this gives me fresh air to inhale.

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Christmas Break Day 1

Posted in christmas, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged Believe, Chrstmas Break, Creation, Crhistmas on December 26, 2011| Leave a Comment »

It is Christmas Break and I am taking this week as a break from blogging (my family is doubtful that I can do it).

So, if you are looking for something to read from me this week, I would suggest one of my favorite blog posts:

Creation Calls Me to Believe

See you in the New Year!

Carole

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Everything Hurts and I Love it

Posted in life, Nature/Creation, The Beast, WONDER, tagged Bear in Area, Beast, Beauty, Creation, dog, Exercise, Fort to Fort, Life, nature, poo, walk, Wonder on September 26, 2011| 2 Comments »

My first thoughts when I awoke this morning were I don’t know if I can walk to the bathroom, and I need coffee. The two thoughts go together too.

Yesterday, for the first time in over a month, I walked my favorite trail … all of it. It took over two hours, and it was great (it was great to be done, maybe not so great while doing it 😉 ). The weather was hot and humid, the trail was full of walkers and bikers, and we did it … my beast and I.

The poor beast was panting hard on the second half of our walk. Just as her tongue was dripping from her hard panting, I was sweating like a stuffed pig on a spit (was a pretty pair we must have been).

On our first half we did take a few breaks, so that the beast wouldn’t collapse on me (of course there was no danger of me collapsing … ). We would walk down to the rivers edge (which was much farther out than a month ago. Heck it was much farther out than I had ever seen it) so that she could cool off in the water, and get a drink at the same time.

There were many people standing on the rivers edge, fishing. It was a day to be out, a day for people to enjoy what might be a last day of Indian summer. A day to enjoy the beauty and wonder of nature … the sun, the fresh air, the leaf laden trees, and all of the other beauties outside.

As we turned started our second half, we were confronted by the sign to the right … that did not make for a confident walk back! Seriously, I did not need that! I already have paranoid thoughts whenever I am walking in the wilderness (like down my street) about being chased by a bear … I did not need confirmation that they were actually in the same area that I was in! What made it worse was that, shortly after seeing that bright and foreboding sign, I saw a tail on the pathway (and I am sure that it was not there when I passed that way just moments before). A squirrel’s tail … without the squirrel! I was now in a desperate state. So, I did what any well-adjusted, mature, woman in my right mind would do … I texted a picture of the sign to hubby, so that he would know how I died. And his response … was about a half hour later! I could have been bear poop by the time he responded! So much for sensitive, hubby!

Alas, the beast and I did survive the potential of a bear attack 🙂 .

But then, just as I was feeling as though we were safe from calamity, my beast started making all of the signs of needed to poo. And I, of course, was ready! As she squatted, I untied the poo bag from her harness (I know making her wear her poo bags is the equivalent of me wearing toilet paper around my neck, out in public … but, she is a very self confident dog). And when I started to put the bag over my hand … there was a hole in it … at the end (where my middle fingers would be … yuck). Alas, I was like a girl scout, and was prepared for anything! I had two bags! So, I doubled up, scooped up, tied up and we continued on.

We had a very uneventful second half of our walk (minus the anxiety-provoking sign and hole in the poo bag incidents). I am not sure which of us started to sprint-walk once the van was in site, but I know that both the beast and I were overwhelmingly thrilled to see it. The beast settled into the back seat, and did not move again until we got back home.

And we both slept well that night … with our minds full of the beautiful visions of our walk, and the sense of accomplishment of doing something that allowed us to exercise and enjoy the beauty of creation.

And my aching body … it pales in contrast with how wonderfully my soul feels.

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In The East – Day 5 – Enraged and Rocky

Posted in canada, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged Bay of Fundy, Beauty, Cape Enrage, Creation, East Coast, New 7 Wonders, New Burnswick, The hopewell Rocks, Wonder on August 22, 2011| 1 Comment »

Today we went to the Hopewell Rocks ( http://www.thehopewellrocks.ca/ ). I vaguely remember going there last when I was about ten years old, and , although I remember thinking it was cool, I do not really remember much else. And so it was high on my ‘to do’ list for this trip.

It is a cool place of red stone, magnificently formed ‘flowerpots’ (often called this because they rise out of the sand and stones, many feet into the air, with plant life growing on top of them), fossils and tides that rise and fall as much as fifty feet, two times each day. It is believed that it is the location of a mountain range that surpasses the size of the western Rockie Mountains. All that to say, it is a beautiful place of wonder.

My dad and I met my brother, his wife, her son and friend there. It was as we were walking through the wooded pathway that I was reminded just how very treed New Brunswick is (it is the Canadian province with the highest percentage of trees per square km … so really, there should be more tree huggers here than in BC). And not only treed, but moss covered trees … so hauntingly beautiful (Dad thinks they are spooky). And not the green stuff on trees in British Columbia, but a dry white-gray moss … it almost looks like the tree is graying.

At the end of the trail is the metal staircase that leads you to the ocean floor. I am confident that it was the same staircase that had been there when I was there as a child. It is narrow, and the ability to see through the stairs to the bottom keeps many peoples heart rate up (I heard countless numbers of people giving others the advice to ‘don’t look down.’)

Once you are on the ocean floor, to say you feel miniscule is an understatement. The floor that you walk is is more stoney than sandy. And it is red’ish in color. It is easy to see the usual heights that the tides bring the water to, by the wear of the rocks all around.

There are crevices that are marked to not trespass into (and I certainly don’t know of any that might have trespassed 😉 ).

When we arrived there was a guy playing beautiful music, and we discovered that he was there with others planning for a wedding in the weeks to come. What a perfect, unique and beautiful place for a wedding to remember … for the couple and all of their guests.

I was glad that I wore runners, as the beach was not easy to walk on. But others had also been wise, in wearing sandals that allowed them to walk out onto the mud nearer to the water. The mud of the Bay of Fundy has always made me think of quicksand. It just looks like it could swallow a person in moments.

At high tide, (every twelve ‘ish hours) the beach is cleared of people and filled with muddy water.

Once we left there we took a rather long and curving road to a place I had never been to before (my dad says he had never been there before either). It is a place called Cape Enrage (http://www.capeenrage.ca/) and it has nothing to do with a woman with PMS. The lighthouse there has been there for over one hundred and fifty years (imagine that friends from the west coast, where everything over fifty years old gets torn down). Thanks to the progress of technology, and specifically GPS, the lighthouse is no longer in use (since 2000, when it was decommissioned).

It is another beautiful place where tides come and go at amazing rates, and geological finds are readily to be found.

There is a contest going on, and if you go to http://www.new7wonders.com you can read about this contest, to, by popular vote, contribute to the new list of the 7 Wonders of the World. The only Canadian entry, of the twenty-eight, world-wide, is the Bay of Fundy.

I know I am maybe a bit prejudice 🙂 but I do think it deserves to be among the world’s seven. If you agree, I encourage you to go to http://www.votemyfundy.com and vote! It is that easy, and kids can vote to.

Truly this was another wonderfilled day in New Brunswick!

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My Garden is Wonder-filled

Posted in life, Nature/Creation, tagged Creation, Garden, Life, Wonder-filled on July 26, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Finally, after ten months of school, and then spending June and July working at a second job, I am able to really enjoy my garden!

Yesterday I spent the day in the garden. I was pruning, and mowing, and trimming, and watering, and weeding, and feeding. It was glorious! I got filthy dirty (I do not even seem to be able to water my flowers without getting dirty), and used muscles that ached the next day (heck, they ached as they were being used), and not one minute of it seemed like work.

Truly my day was all about recreation.

As I was out in the fresh air, and sunshine (oh, and how we have waited for sunshine in this area … unlike most of North America which has been hot and dry), I enjoyed only the noises of the birds, the squirrels and my neighbors little grandchildren. I attained great satisfaction, for jobs finally caught up on, and great head space at just being quiet for the better part of a day.

It is so thrilling to see the evidence of my blood, sweat and tears in the garden. I love to watch the contents of bulbs and tuber emerge from the soil. I love to watch a rose bud open slowly, day by day, and then produce it’s visual beauty and delightful scent, that can reduce stress in one whiff. I love to see each year the new growth of the boxwoods I had planted, simply by slicing off a branch of a larger one, and sticking it into the earth. I love to watch the lilies grow taller and taller each day, trying to guess which color they are, until finally they open up to reveal the beauty within. And oh, how I love to see the springtime buds on the grapevine, emerge into tendrils that reach far from where they began, to be followed by the minute clusters of ‘baby grapes’ that, like a newborn baby, grow bigger every day of summer, until they are finally mature, and ready to be tasted.

I love my garden!

But, I don’t love everything about my garden. There are irritants and pests there too. Like dandelions! I have been on a mission for two summers now, to rid my back garden of the weed. When I have the time, and have my trusty week puller thingy in hand, I am like a can of raid on ants! And, my persistence is working (if you ever drive by, you will know that I have not transferred this persistence to my front garden).

Then there is the slug … evil personified! Not only do they love to eat the lovely green leaves on my flowers, but if I come in contact with their slime, it is like some kind of gel crazy glue. It won’t come off easily, and sticks to everything in it’s path … even my ever-curious beast won’t go near them. Of course they do provide great entertainment when i get out my salt shaker!

And then there are aphids … who are on a constant mission to ruin my deeply loved rose plants. Every spring I will be marveling at how beautiful the fresh new leaves on my roses look, and then, there they are. Those tiny little green buggers … nibbling away at my fresh leaves like a teenage boy at an all you can eat buffet. Truly they give me reason after reason to love ladybugs … who think aphids are just the most marvelous treat … hum, note to self : go purchase ladybugs today.

My garden is where I am Mother Nature, and my goal is to protect everything I love within my garden … it is truly a place where I am a mother hen figure. But, I am sadly not able to protect my green ‘babies’ all of the time.

It is really my place in this world of understanding the beauty of our creation, of understanding the complexities of surviving and thriving, of understanding how evil and destruction can come our way due to no action of our own, and understanding how very much we the created are loved by the Creator.

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A Spectrum of Colors

Posted in canada, life, Nature/Creation, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Hope, House for Sale, Rainbows, Wonder on June 22, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I can only remember seeing one rainbow, as a child. I know they occurred more often, I just am too archaic to remember seeing them! Or maybe, as a child there are so many wonders that catch your eye, a rainbow is just not all that exciting?

There is something about rainbows, about the wonder associated with them. They give hope.

There are two associations with rainbows that are most common. One is the association with a pot of treasure at one end of it. The other is that from the Biblical story of Noah, and the flood, and how the vision of the rainbow was one of hope of the future.

About eight years ago, I/we had an encounter with a rainbow.

You need a bit of background …

We were living in a great neighborhood, with great neighbors. But my house ‘wanderlust’ had set in … okay, that is wrong … MY house wanderlust is always present. Anyway hubby and I were away for a weekend in March … just the two of us (so sweet … and, although we were just away not even a month ago, I am ready to go again … my, I know how to digress!). While we were away, I made a declaration, “we need to find a place to live that is a refuge for you. A place where you can rest, relax, and ‘get away’ from the stresses of life.”

I can only think of three to four times in our marriage when I have made ‘a declaration’. And each time I did so, my jaw dropped, as I ‘heard’ what my mouth said, because it was not a thought that I had previously entertained. It was as though the words of my mouth were inserted by someone else.

A few weeks later, hubby and I agreed to ‘just look’ at a house that I loved. But when hubby called the realtor, it had already sold. So, hubby, decided to inquire about another, and got a date to go view it.

I was NOT excited to see this house. It was west coast contemporary … blech! I come from the east where houses are old and character-filled … contemporary might as well be the f-word in my mind. And worse, when we pulled up to the house, it was perched on a driveway, so steep, I was sure if a car was parked horizontally on it, it would tip over! But I LOVED the neighborhood! Less than eighty houses on tree-lined winding streets, with beautifully manicured lawns, tall trees, and all in a neighborhood that is so hidden away, there are people who have lived in our Township for many years that don’t even know it exists!

So, up the driveway we all (all five of us) climbed. Once at the top (and we caught our breath), we rang the doorbell, and were greeted by the realtor. We entered the house, and looked to the left, an enormous, but cozy, family room … I was adjusting to contemporary …

Then the rest of the house …

Then, the kids found the in-ground pool (which we more frequently call the albatross), and we saw the hot tub, and the so very secluded back yard!

We went back home, from this appointment to ‘just look’, with rose-colored glasses firmly on all five of our faces!

By 9pm, that night, we had hired a realtor, made an offer on the house, had it accepted, and had listed our own property …

(kids, this is NOT how to do this)

The decision was not an easy one, just an impulsive one. I remember so well hubby and I discussing what to do, and saying, ‘I just wish there could be … a rainbow in the sky … I don’t need writing in the sky, just a rainbow to indicate ‘go for it’ ” … but, alas nothing but clear blue sky. We went for it, anyway.

We had two conditions to the offer … one was a home inspection, and the other … selling our property.We were not worried about either. The inspection would be done by a professional, who we had used at an earlier time. The second should not have been an issue, because houses were selling before signs went up on the lawns! It was a sellers market, and we were confident!

The sign went up two days later, and the viewings began (and the fast food dinners began with the showings). After six days, we had had thirty-five showings, and our realtor wanted to sit down and talk (that is realtor talk for lets sit down and lower your price, because ten to fifty thousand dollars less off the selling price only affects him by ‘tens to hundreds’ of dollars … just sayin’). We sat down, and got the report. Our house was showing well, no negative comments, and priced well … this all sounded good. Then the predicted statement … ‘I think we should lower the price.’ But we were confident of our price, and held firm.

A week later, our resolve was weakening, as were were down to six weeks until closing, and the thought of living with two mortgages was unbearable.

Then, a last minute showing, where the realtor could not open the lock box, and we needed to let the viewers in, ourselves. They looked, they liked, and, by later that night, we had an offer … for the price we wanted 🙂

A couple of days later their home inspection, followed a few more days by the final paperwork!

We were cleaning up, after dinner, waiting for our realtor to come with that paperwork. As I rinsed the dishes I looked out to see a sun shower … such a cool thing to see! Then I ran to the front window (the one I had looked longingly out a couple of weeks prior, for my rainbow in the sky), confident that our ‘answer’ had arrived, and there it was … big and bright with one end near our home, and the other going in the direction of our new home.

I admit, despite the snickers of my kids (who have compared me to the ‘double rainbow’ guy from the world popular YouTube video … how many hours of combined labor did I go through to push their fat heads out into this world?), that I love rainbows. I love their colors, I love the possibility of there being a double rainbow, I love the hope that is re-birthed in the end of the rains.

There is wonder in the appearance of a rainbow, and that wonder re-ignites an innocence within me that makes me feel fresh and clean, and new, and gives me hope for the future.

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