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When I am Old and Gray

Posted in GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #howwilltheyrememberme, #inspiredbyafuneral, #wheniamoldandgray, #whenidie on July 30, 2017| Leave a Comment »

Last month hubby and I went to the funeral of an older man.

I have been to many funerals that made me cry, laugh and sigh, but this one made me want to live better. Not eat healthier foods and get more exercise, but to live each day with a desire to make life better for others.

It was said how he adored each day with his wife of the last few years. They had met each as widowers and found that the other made their days better.

Children, by birth and by marriage, spoke of his support, his acceptance of them.

Grandchildren spoke of how their grandfather always had time for they and their friends, at his home or the family cabin.

Others spoke of his support as a friend. How hard working he was in his occupation, before retirement. His joy in supporting a summer camp, with his physical strength, his financial support and by sending his children and grandchildren to attend. His commitment to his creator, and his joy in sharing that relationship with others. His active attendance in his church, and to his church family.

As I sat through the memorial, I found myself making mental notes. I found myself desiring to live the rest of my days, with my own funeral/memorial in mind.

Maybe that is what we should all do … live our lives as if each day would be taken into consideration for what would be shared at our final service.

Most of all, I hope that, in the end, I have left a legacy of love and that I have pointed to Christ, for all the joyful blessings as well as for the strength when the blessings are fewer to see.

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I Know He Watches Me

Posted in GOD, life, Nature/Creation, Walking with God, tagged #godinthegarden, #hiseyeisonthesparrow, #iknowhewatchesme, Hope on July 18, 2017| Leave a Comment »

sparrow

I had a great morning yesterday.

I spent the morning in the garden, cleaning up an area where the roses needed a trim.

I had, intentionally, planned to do anything that resembled work (though the garbage can full of clippings and weeds might indicate that work did occur).

It was in the garden that I experienced the most joy. Earlier in the day, I had listened to a song produced by my daughter’s friend, that I loved in my youth, “His Eye is on the Sparrow”. As I wandered through the thorns of the roses the song was still in my mind, on my lips (thank goodness not a human pair of ears were within listening range, for I am only a large group singer).

The garden was a mess. The last time I had weeded and trimmed was mid March. The weeds had gone to seed, the roses were bundles of withered mess.

I sing, because I’m happy
I sing, because I’m free
For his eye is on the sparrow,
And I know he watches me.

The words played in my mind the whole time. The longer they played, the more daringly I sang (no one was home, and our neighbours live a safe distance to avoid ear damage from my version of singing). As the moments ticked on, the affirmation of security in the truth of those lyrics created the beauty of sanctuary in my weeds.

And that is what my life is often full of … weeds, and the need to have what is withered, what is worn and draining energy snipped, pruned and carried away. But, whatever state my heart and life are in, I have a heavenly father who is also the master gardener of my soul and life, and he watches over me.

“Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me”

“Are not two sparrows sold for a cent?
And yet not one of them will fall to the ground
apart from your Father.
“But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
“So do not fear;
you are more valuable than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:29-31

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Come Home

Posted in GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #comehome, #heavenisourhome, #thevalleyoftheshadow, eternity, heaven on July 9, 2017| Leave a Comment »

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Death and taxes, those two fatalistic certainties of life. Neither desirable, but both inevitable.

It is a difficult thing to walk in the shadow of the valley of death with someone.

I say this mostly at a distance from experiencing it, as my walks with the dying have been rather few. My hubby, though, is a pastor, and he has walked this road much more frequently.

When death is imminent, daily life gets postponed, for to live with the dying can be the most real of living life.

I often think of this valley walk as one on holy ground … living in the space between no longer and not yet.

Throughout the ministry of Jesus, he would preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 4:17). As Jesus gave his famous Sermon on the Mount, he spoke of the kingdom of God/heaven. It would seem that the kingdom of God/heaven is wherever He was/is. So, when he was walking this Earth, as a man, he was delivering the Kingdom, just as we, who live with the Spirit of God in our lives, also bring the kingdom with us where we go (“for the kingdom of God is within you” Luke 17:21).

But, Philippians 3:20 also tells us:

our citizenship is in heaven.
And we eagerly await a Savior from there,
the Lord Jesus Christ.”

You see, our residence is here, and we bring the kingdom of God and heaven wherever we go, but our passport … we are citizens of the eternal kingdom of heaven, ruled by the God of all time.

For the believer, “we do not grieve as those who have no hope”. Our hope is in the promise of Jesus, himself, who said, “if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am” (John 14:3).

“Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling,
Calling for you and for me;
See, on the portals He’s waiting and watching,
Watching for you and for me.

Come home, come home,
You who are weary, come home;
Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling,
Calling, O sinner, come home!”

Will L. Thompson

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God will Rush Toward You

Posted in GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #godpursuesus, #godwillrushtowardyou, #youcanneveroutrungod, forgiven, Redemption on July 6, 2017| Leave a Comment »

i-have-swept-away-your-offenses-like-a-cloud-your-13947067

“I know that I’ll come back to my faith, I just need to figure it out for myself first.”

I am not sure whether those words made my heart sink (for the intentional turning away from God) or start to sing (for the door is not closed).

This person had grown up in a home of faith and in the church. They had received the love, acceptance and blessings of such a life. Having a time of evaluating and reevaluating the dogma that one grows up in, is a normal and even a good process. It is a pruning of what is and isn’t absolute and a polishing of what never changes. It is a process of choosing whether one’s faith is personal, or simply hereditary.

Yet, it still can be like a kick in the gut to hear that one is choosing to turn their back on the faith, even just for a season.

Then, weeks after this conversation, as I was driving to a meeting, a song came on the radio that reminded me of the never-ending pursuit of our heavenly father for our hearts, souls, lives.

“You will never outrun my love
There’s no distance too far, that I can’t reach you
There’s no place that’s so dark, that I can’t find you
Anywhere that you are, if you need proof
Take a look at these scars, and know I love you
Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter what you’ve done
You are never, you are never, never too far gone”

And these words are not just for those who are figuring out where God fits into their life. They are also for those who feel that their choices, their actions and behaviours are far too vile for God to forgive. God forgives. That is why his son had to die, because the debt of the sins of humanity needed a pure atonement, a propitiation, which is literally “a falling or rushing toward” (www.etymonline.com).

We will never do anything, go anywhere, that God is not rushing toward us, offering his forgiveness. It is offered, because he knows we will need it.

If you want to check out the entire song, check out Jordan Felix.

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As my Son Graduates High School

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, The Kids, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #asmysongraduates, #asmysongraduateshighschool, #classof2017, #eternallegacy, #graduation2017, #lookaround, #nicolenordeman, Legacy on June 8, 2017| Leave a Comment »

To my son, as he graduates tonight from high school:

Tonight you dress in a cap and gown, a shirt and tie.
Tonight you cross a stage, have a tassel crossed over your head.
Tonight is the end, tonight is the beginning.

The other night I needed you to do an errand with me. What I needed was time with you, needed to hear from you about how you feel about graduation.

If I were to give our conversation a one-word theme, it would be legacy.

You shared with me what you wish your legacy would be, but your disappointment that you felt you had failed in accomplishing your desire …
we always have regrets when things come to an end.

To leave a legacy is to leave a gift for those who come after. In reality, we all leave a legacy, some good, and some not so good.

As your mom, I see your legacy quite differently from you.
moms tend to see things differently.

About a month ago I walked down the halls of school with you. As we walked, and talked, there was a constant injection of “hey Ben” from guys in younger grades. Finally I asked how all these students knew who you were.

You, nonchalantly, replied, “I just got to know them. I remember what it was like to be one of the younger kids in school, and how good it was when an older guy knew my name, so I got to know their names.”
this momma saw a good legacy … an eternal legacy

Last week a mom told me of a grad event and how she could not find a student who was comfortable to pray for the meal. Finally she asked a group, “who will pray, so that we can eat our meal?” To which the group replied, “Ben.” She said that when she asked you, you quickly said yes.
this mom saw a good legacy … an eternal legacy

A year ago you spoke in chapel at school. Through your words you communicated the love that God has for us all. You shared that God’s love is not dependent on what we do, what we’ve done, that he is always there for us all.
to share Gods love for others is a great legacy … an eternal legacy

My dear,

You know the joys of applause after performing a play …

and you know that it comes to an end.

To leave a legacy of quietly caring, of being thankful, of sharing of the redemptive story of God’s love (and you know, that redemption is the best theme of any story). These are pieces of an eternal legacy … one that doesn’t sit on a shelf and collect dust.

A few months ago I sent you a song (probably not your style of music, but the words …). If you need a legacy goal for your life, I send you back to Nicole Nordeman’s song Legacy. My hope for you, is “that you choose to love, point to (Christ). Leave an offering, (be) a child of mercy and grace who blessed (his) name unapologetically.”

Keep looking around, Ben. You know how fast a season of life can move, live towards an eternal legacy.

I love you
I love you
I love you,

Mom

feris

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That Hallowed Hedge

Posted in Faith, GOD, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #hallowedbethyname, #holyground, #malcolmguite, #thathallowedhedge on June 4, 2017| Leave a Comment »

As I perused the written and photographic materials for my gifted trip of a lifetime, my imagination was ignited when I saw the ariel image of an extensive, hedged driveway. All of a sudden my dream had focused from the macro of being in Italy, to the micro of walking of walking this massive pathway.

On my seventh day at the Tenuta Bichi Borghesi estate I finally stepped into the over one hundred and fifty meters of expertly trimmed hedge avenue.

I am not sure why it took me so long! Perhaps, in the deep recesses of my heart, I was afraid that my desires had built up this dream, beyond what it would be like, to wander this private oasis. Perhaps I was simply postponing this personal gift, so as to extend that anticipation. Or, perhaps, I was just too busy taking in all of the preliminary events and pleasures of the estate, it’s fruits, it’s people.

So, on that hot afternoon, I took my first steps into the cool avenue, protected from the glare of the sun.

And I felt it …

bubbling up inside of me,

causing goose bumps to form on my humid skin,

causing my heart to flutter,

causing my legs, my feet, to want to skip,

like a child, inhibited by societies norms and expectations.

Child-like joy.

I spent fifteen minutes walking, skipping, sitting on a marble bench, snapping photos and pausing to breath in the fresh, heady scent of the air, the dirt, the greenery.

I reached the end to find an enormous dual swinging metal gate, that must have been ten feet tall. I felt it’s cool, smooth rungs, and wondered at the hands that formed it with the heat of fire, heavy, pounding tools, and workmanship and skill rarely seen today.

On my return, to where I began, I walked slowly, reverently, uttering only words of thanks for all that I was able to see, to hear, to smell, taste and touch on my gifted opportunity to wander.

Praise makes holy, hallowed, everything in it’s presence.

It was a pilgrimage of praise, on holy (hallowed) ground.

hedge 1

Hallowed by thy Name
“There’s something in the sound of the word hallow;
A haunting sense of everything we’ve lost
Amidst the trite, the trivial, the shallow,
Where nothing lingers, nothing seems to last.
But Hallowed, summons up our fear and wonder,
And summons us to stand on holy ground.
To sense the mystery that stands just under
Familiar things we’ll never understand.

Hallowed be thy name: the name unspoken,
The name from which all other names arise,
The name that heals the sick and binds the broken,
Whose living glory calls the dead to rise.
You make this prayer my rising and my rest
That I might bless the name by which I’m blessed.”
Malcolm Guite

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The Sun Rises

Posted in Faith, GOD, Nature/Creation, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #feelgodnear, #godspresence, #thesunrises on April 25, 2017| Leave a Comment »

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“The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.”
Ecclesiastes 1:5

As I awake each morning in spring, I open my eyes to the discovery of how much light is pouring into my bedroom. Each day there is change, each day getting brighter, bringing with it the joy of a new day with more daylight.

After arising, my next discovery is in looking out my kitchen window, which faces East. From there I view the sunrise scene of the day. The mornings I stand there the longest are the ones when the sun’s rays are pouring through the trees, as if they cannot contain themselves any longer.

This spring has brought few sunny mornings, yet I still awaken with the same anticipation.

It has happened before, so I seek it.

That makes me think about the presence of God in our lives.

Sometimes we are so aware of his presence in our lives, it is almost tangible, it is simply undeniable. Many times, though, we do not feel his presence so keenly.

Yet, I still awaken with the same sort of anticipation.

His presence has been felt before, so I seek it.

I am also aware that on a dark day the sun is still present, just hidden by the clouds, God is still present, even when I cannot feel him.

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Looking Up … Way Up

Posted in GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #godlooksdown, #lookingupwayup, #thefriendlygiant, #wisdomfromhumanity on April 20, 2017| Leave a Comment »

If I were to say “look up, look way up,” you were probably a child, growing up in Canada, during the 1950s-1980s, who watched The Friendly Giant children’s TV program.

That favourite childhood show has had a lasting effect on me, for when I look at something that is tall, those five words instantly come to memory.

I often wish I had realized the value and power of repetition when my kids were younger. There is no way of erasing some of the things I was repeatedly exposed to in childhood. The memorization of Bible verses, nursery rhymes and songs. The little sayings my dad would repeat.

It is interesting to me, each time I “look up, look way up,” that there is such a profound lesson in those five words.

A numer of times in the Psalms, there are verses about God looking down from heaven, in search for someone who is wise.

“The LORD looks down from heaven on humans to see if anyone is wise, to see if anyone seeks God” Psalm 14:2

If he is looking down, we must need to look up (look way up).

Perhaps, it is when we are in a position of looking up, that we are in the posture of one who is wise … or at least of one who is in search of the origin of wisdom.

“He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” John 3:30

look up, look way up

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A Heart for God

Posted in GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #aheartforgod, #doinggood, #whatgodsees on April 18, 2017| 2 Comments »

I-Saw-That-God

Ever caught someone doing something that they thought was done in secret?

I remember a day when I stood at the front doors of the high school I work at and I observed something that a student thought was done without anyone else seeing.

A student, with numerous, very real struggles, was waiting for his parent to pick them up, after school. Another student came along, with a bag from Tim Horten’s. As she came closer to the boy they made eye costact and they smiled at each other, then he looked down at his feet. When he diverted his eyes from hers, she looked instantly saddened, disappointed. She then stopped in front of the boy, and offered her bag, filled with some sort of sugary treat, to him. He looked up, surprised, then smiled. She smiled back, said something to him, and walked away smiling even brighter.

What she did will never win an award, a job, a good GPA.

What she did, was not to raise her profile or position.

What she did will never even be incorporated into her resume.

To her knowledge, it was simply an interaction between two individuals, and her payment was the smile on the boy’s face, which was all the payout she needed.

But, her actions were seen, and not just by my inquiring eyes.

Matthew reminds us of the value of doing things out of the eyesight, and limelight, of others :

“When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to yourself … When you help someone out, don’t think about how it looks. Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out. And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either … Do you think God sits in a box seat?
Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.”
Matthew 6:2-6

“The focus will shift from you to God”

I love that line!

Our world notices, awards and sits on a pedestal what they see … fair enough. But God, can and does see everything … the good, the bad and the ugly. He sees us, and knows our hearts. He sees what we do in public and in private. And his reward is the presence of his grace in our lives.

God wants our hearts to be in tune with his, not for our earthly benefit, but for our eternal walk with him.

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