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Archive for the ‘life’ Category

We can be haunted by things that go bump in the night … not just the noises, but the dreams that awaken us with tears, shivers, cold sweats.

It had been a long time since I was awakened by such things that go bump in the night but it’s impact is still felt days later, as a shiver goes up my spine, and my mood is still there … in a funk.

When I am in such a funk I feel more. I feel the hurts and sorrows of others … I understand what it really feels like to carry the burden of others.

As I was trying to shake this funk, the memories of the dream, the bad news of this week (globally, locally, within the lives of people I love) … I remembered that there must be something in my memory of scriptures that had been buried in my heart (from the post, Whatever). But nothing came to mind.

Then the lyrics of a song I had heard earlier in the day began to sing in my head.

“This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
That when everything fell, we’d be held”

A rather melancholy song, but not one without hope. I had forgotten about a particular line in the song :

“Why should we be saved from nightmares?”

Nightmares, whether in the form of disastrous life experiences, or things that go bump in the night, happen to us all. They are common human experiences … ones that allow us to share in and understand the sorrow of God. They lead us to him and divine human transaction that is his son … who provides the hope of being held.

You have to begin to trust that your experience of emptiness is not the final experience, that beyond it is a place where you are being held in love.”
– Henri J.M. Nouwen (The Inner Voice of Love)

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I have been looking for love …

Ever since self isolation and Toilet Paper Gate, I have been looking for a way to love others through this time of Coronavirus. I thought it might be doing errands for seniors but … it just didn’t read into my heart the way I wanted it to.

Life is so different, for so many right now!

No sports to watch at the arena or bar, no concerts, no movies at the theatres and cinemas, no romantic dinners at restaurants, no vacations, no church services, no coffee dates and, for so, so many, no jobs to go to.

Living in this time of Coronavirus means we have what many of us have wished and dreamed of for so long … free time. What we didn’t hope for was that we would have free time, largely, self isolated in our homes.

If you are like me (an introvert who can fake it if I have to), it was, initially, delightful. I have painted rooms, done a bit of writing, tried new recipes, did a jigsaw puzzle, watched a bit of TV, gone for walks in the sun with the Wonderdog and enjoyed the sound of … silence.

The thing is that even for we who are introverts need to feel we are contributing to someone, something bigger than ourselves and our own desires to feel … healthy, purposeful, alive.

Yesterday, that something (someone) arrived at my heart-level, as I scrolled through social media, in the form of this:

A friend, with whom I attended church a number of years ago had posted the above. Her adult daughter lives with special needs and she (no doubt the whole family) are finding these days long … really long. In this time of Coronavirus, programs are largely cancelled. The events, and day trips, and jobs, socializing and learning (and respite) that help those with special needs to feel that they are healthy, purposeful, alive have been eliminated from their days … which can leave a big hole.

This mom’s plea touched my heart.

Having spent almost seventeen years as an Educational Assistant and two working in group homes for those with special needs, there is a very special place in my heart for those who live with struggles that go well beyond my own … that includes those with special needs and their families who parent on a level beyond the typical.

So, I have now accumulated three young women’s addresses. All three are ladies who live with unique special needs. All three have purpose, gifts and a need to be part of community. These (and, I hope more) will be my new pen pals, and I have no doubt that I will be at least as encouraged and ‘fed’ by these new or renewed relationships, as they will be.

And DO NOT praise me for this … we are all called to love one another … it just happened that God pointed out to me who, and how to love them.

Now, who is he pointing out to you to love during this season of Coronavirus?

“Each of you should look
not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:4

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At every Remembrance Day service in Canada is sung a most hauntingly sad and hopeful song.

 J.R. Watson, who compiled hymns in a number of anthologies, said of the hymn, O God our Help, “this is one of Watts’s greatest hymns on the human condition, setting the shortness of life and the littleness of human beings against the timeless greatness of God…. who has been our help [in the past] and hope [in the future].”

It is a good hymn to sing now … in this time of Coronavirus.

It was written by Isaac Watts, over three hundred years ago! Not only did it have staying power, but it’s message is one of staying power as well.

O God, our help in ages past,
  Our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
  And our eternal home.

Home may be beginning to feel a rather eternal location for many these days, but it is our shelter as well, both for us and for those who need us to stay home … for their good.

Under the shadow of Thy throne
  Thy saints have dwelt secure;
Sufficient is Thine arm alone,
  And our defence is sure.

The shadow present today is not different than in Watt’s lifetime, nor in Moses’, the one who wrote Psalm 90 … the Psalm that this hymn was written after. Psalm 90 was written as a prayer to be prayed daily.

Before the hills in order stood,
  Or earth received her frame,
From everlasting Thou art God,
  To endless years the same.

That verse, above, to me is the heart of this song. Near the middle, bringing our attention to the heart of the matter … that, though things can change, ever so much, in our lives, there is a constant, who never changes … the everlasting God.

A thousand ages in Thy sight
  Are like an evening gone;
Short as the watch that ends the night
  Before the rising sun.

How fragile and short is life. Our mortality ever whispering to us. Yet, there is One who has always been, who knows eternity.

Time, like an ever-rolling stream,
  Bears all its sons away;
They fly forgotten, as a dream
  Dies at the opening day.

More mortality. This verse almost reckons our memories to the meaninglessness of Ecclesiastes’ numerous a time to statements. Really it is just the reminder of the fragility of time, of our time. Our days are not to be wasted.

O God, our help in ages past,
  Our hope for years to come,
Be Thou our guard while life shall last,
  And our eternal home.

We come to the end, which is a prompt for us as we look at the remainder of our days. The past, how God has been faithful to us, is our hope for the days to come, be it here on Earth, or in eternity.

“The timeless greatness of God…. who has been our help [in the past] and hope [in the future].” (Watson)

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Ever had a virtual birthday party? Last weekend was a first for our family.

With hubby’s job being one with daily exposure to senior citizens, our concern for the well being of those at risk prompted me decide that a virtual connection might be best to celebrate my birthday.

So, with the combination of a video conference call from three locations and my mom ‘seeing’ us from a Messenger video call, I was serenaded by my loves to Happy Birthday. We ate our individually made mug cakes, laughed at our corporate technologically ineptness and experienced a new form of togetherness … in a time of Coronavirus.

We might have to get creative, but life can still be fully lived in this time of Coronavirus.

For me, I have now been home for a week (originally part of a two week Spring Break). It is interesting how quiet life has gotten. There are the morning walks with the Wonderdog, doing a jigsaw puzzle, canning red pepper jelly, watching a show, texting friends and family, ordering groceries online and having them loaded into my vehicle and chats with family.

In all of it, life is being fully lived.

I have heard of neighborhoods and communities who have left messages of hope with chalk on sidewalks, hearts and rainbows in windows, items left in windows for neighborhood scavenger hunts for those with children who need a diversion. I have heard of people doing errands for their neighbors and sharing resources.

Life is being fully lived.

Though the doors of most churches and places of worship may be closed, technology allows us to gather (even in our pj’s) around a screen and hear the word of God preached. We can still sing and pray, corporately. We might even have the privilege of meeting as a small group to pray, to study and to encourage each other.

Life is being fully lived.

As we are increasingly confined to our homes, during this time of Cornonavirus, may we continue to live our lives with the same purpose, drive and joy as before … and increase our commitment to creatively caring for and encouraging others.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have life,
and have it to the full.”

John 10:10

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… Lucille

and out of nowhere there it was again … grief.

The death of Kenny Rogers, the playing of his songs, brought grief back, in a flood of emotions and memories.

Grief does not have a lifespan, an expiry date. It does not respect the comfortability of others. It is something one learns to live with, knowing that, at any moment and for no apparent reason, it resurfaces with pent up energy and emotion … developing into tears and the loneliness for one who is gone.

At a certain stage in my dad’s life, Kenny Rogers (before Kenny’s facial plastic surgery) was his doppelganger. It just so happened that my dad also loved his music. He would sing along, attempting to duplicate Kenny’s distinctive husky voice.

My dad loved to sing. One of my memories of eye-rolling as a kid (along with the plaid shorts and the socks that went up to the knees … with the plaid shorts) was how my dad would finish our sentences with lyrics from songs.

It would go like this:

Mom: Don’t count your dirty money at the table …
Dad: They’ll be time enough for counting, when the dealings done

Mom: I was talking to Aunt Ruby this morning …
Dad: Ruby, don’t take your love to town

I have a sweet colleague at work who does this too … I think she might think I am making fun of her when she does it and I point it out, but I love that she does it for it always makes me think of my dad, makes me smile fondly.

It was hearing Roger’s song Lucille that really brought grief to the forefront. It was the words, you picked a fine to leave me, Lucille that did it.

Those of us who loved him are probably all feeling like you picked a fine to leave … We have stuff in our lives that … make us miss him more, lately. We miss him all over again.

At his funeral was a slideshow of photos from his life, our lives. One of the songs that played was Kenny Roger’s singing I will remember you

Dad, I know I am not alone in saying you picked a fine to leave … I miss you all over again …

You decorated my life
Created a world
Where dreams are a part
And you decorated my life
By paintin’ your love
All over my heart
You decorated my life

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from the book,
“the boy the mole the fox and the horse
by Charlie Mackesy

Breaking announcements have become common as the red flashes across our screens, as the attention-seeking noise blares from the radio. Closures, limitations, warnings and preparations are rocking our entire world.

“His dominion is an everlasting dominion which will not pass away; And His kingdom is one which will not be destroyed”
– Daniel 7:14

And I sit here, in the early morning hours, when silence is the only volume, and I turn to the window and watch the horizon lighten, ever so slowly. The sun is indifferent to viruses, to pandemics, to troubles … it just does what it was created to do … it rises, every day.

“From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.”
– Psalm 113:3

And what were we created to do?

praise the name of the Lord …

  • in our prayers
  • in our care for our neighbors
  • in our willingness to self isolate
  • in our reading his word
  • in our flexibility and understanding
  • in our support of the helpers
  • in supporting organizations and businesses that will be impacted
  • in our lifting up of praises in song
  • in our prayers

Lord,
May we be found doing what we were created for … praising you, from the rising to the setting of the sun. May you do what you promised, for us, granting us your peace, no matter the situation we are walking through.
Amen

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
– Hebrews 13:8

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Me or we?

Sometimes our questions come down to that one question …

Me or we?

When we believe that our actions do not have any impact on those around us … when we think that our desires come before anyone else … when we hold to the perspective that we are in control of our own destinies we are living in the me world.

When we consider how our actions impact those around us … when others are considered in the seeking of having our desires met … when we recognize that our destinies are in the hands of a greater power … and we care for the needs of others who we share community with, we are living in a bigger world … the real world.

We are now living in a time when we need to abandon the me for the we.

Now is the time to clean out the stuff in our homes that we truly do not need and prepare it for donation to those who have need. To reach out to help our neighbors who might not be able to get out to get essentials. To read good books, to try new recipes, to take a walk in our neighborhoods, to play games. To use technology, for calls and FaceTime gatherings. To get to know the people who live under our own roofs.

Switching out our thinking from me to we.

It is now the time to listen to what health experts are saying, suggesting, imploring. It is now the time to look at the needs of those around us, of how our pursuit of me could put others in possible danger.

I recently read an article from the Boston Globe, written by Mattia Ferraresi, who is a writer for the Italian newspaper Il Foglio. (The subtitle of the article is, “Many of us were too selfish to follow suggestions to change our behavior. Now we’re in lockdown and people are needlessly dying.”)

Ms. Ferraresi said, of the affects of the lockdown in Italy :

“Strangely, it’s also a moment in which our usual individualistic, self-centered outlook is waning a bit. In the end, each of us is giving up our individual freedom in order to protect everybody, especially the sick and the elderly. When everybody’s health is at stake, true freedom is to follow instructions.”

May we learn from what other nations had to learn the hard way. May we acknowledge that this world does not revolve around me but that we share this world, are co-dependent on each other for both joy and for survival of life.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor (WE) as yourself (ME).’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40

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People hoarding toilet paper and sanitizer, limits on travel, cancelling of sporting and entertainment events, stock markets plunging and social media informing the populace on COVID-19 …

” … be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic … for the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
– Deuteronomy 31:6

We have observed students, parents and travellers roll their eyes, ignore professional advice or grow in fear each day.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” -John 14:27

I, myself, have the Wolrd Health Organization and the John Hopkins COVID-19 Global Map (in real time) in open tabs on my laptop, so that I can keep up to date on the facts of this global pandemic.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

Yet, with all of the cancellations and changes, with all of the craziness, with all of this doom and gloom … there is a realization that we are not in control. With that realization comes the acceptance that our hope, humanly speaking, is not within our own humanity.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
– Psalm 46:1

In 1948, after the horrors of the end of WW2, people realized that, though the war was over, a new age had dawned … the Atomic Age … and people were perhaps even more fearful than during the war years.

It was then that C.S. Lewis wrote an essay titled, On Living in an Atomic Age (which was published with other essays in a book called Present Concerns: Journalistic Essays.

It would seem than many have been dusting this essay off lately … still wise words for tough times. I have gone ahead and replaced “atomic bomb” with “coronavirus” (noted by italics).

In one way, we think a great deal too much of the coronavirus. “How are we to live in an coronavirus age?” I am tempted to reply: “Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents.”

In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the coronavirus was spreading: and quite a high percentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one very great advantage over our ancestors—anesthetics; but we have that still. It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty.

This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by coronavirus, let that virus when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about the coronavirus. It may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but it need not dominate our minds.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
– Philippians 4:6-7

May we not allow fear to guide us.

May we be found spending this time doing sensible things … things like making good meals, washing our hands, offering others assistance, taking walks to breath in the fresh air, reading good books, cleaning out our closets, making long distance calls, stretching our bodies, praying, loving others in practical and spiritual ways … posting encouragement on social media.

Let us love.

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”
– Proverbs 12:25 

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As I read the words they stuck, momentarily, in my throat …

for I knew that I was not leading devotions, but being led into devotion.

I had chosen to share this story just the day before, no real conviction in my choosing … more like desperation for something that I thought would just do … without seeming like it would just do.

The day I read this hastily chosen story, I was in a funk.

I had no ‘treats’ (ok, sugary motivation) for the students to ‘sweeten’ my sharing of devotions with them. My tummy was terribly upset and I longed for a steeped tea. Then my drive to work took too long for me to stop for the tea I so desperately wanted. I reached work, only to find that conversations were already in process, so I couldn’t even have a moment to air my frustrations with the day.

Death by a thousand cuts.

So I began to read, feeling confident that the story would at least keep their attention … hoping that they would hear the hope that was written between the lines.

“Sometimes the best training for the really big things is just the everyday things.”

gulp.

Those words for me.

I knew it and I knew who placed them on the paper, who led me to them the day before, who led the classroom teacher to ask me to cover devos. this week. It was the same one who I have been groaning to for months … the same one who I had recently started to moan, “I give up.”

Don’t go sighing … don’t mentally, condescendingly pat me on the back … you’ve done it too … we have all done it.

We get frustrated waiting for the answer and we throw our hands (and our hopes) up in the air and declare it (whatever it might be) to be too hard, too frustrating, too much.

Then we have a choice …

walk away from the hard things, the unanswered things …

or …

do we dare listen, for that still small voice?

Here is what that still, small voice said to me, just the other day …

maybe, when you read it, there will be something that you read that gets stuck in your throat … and you will know, that this was here for you to read.

The story of Cliff Young,
as told by Ann Voskamp

The old cahoot ran in his boots.

Weren’t too many of anybody who believed he could.

How the old guy ran for 544 miles. His name was Cliff Young and he wasn’t
so much. He was 61 years old. He was a farmer.

Mr. Young showed up for the race in his Osh Kosh overalls and with his
workboots on, with galoshes over top. In case it rained.

He had no Nike sponsorship.

He had no wife – hadn’t had one ever. Lived with his mother.

Never ran in any kind of race before. Never ran a 5 mile race, or a half-marathon, not even a marathon.But here he was standing in his workboots at the starting line of an ultramarathon, the most gruelling marathon in the world, a 544 mile marathon.

Try wrapping your head around pounding the concrete with one foot after
another for 544 endless, stretching miles. They don’t measure races like
that in yards – -but in zip codes.

First thing Cliff did was take out his teeth. Said his false teeth rattled when he ran.

Said he grew up on a farm with sheep and no four wheelers, no horses, so
the only way to round up sheep was on the run. Sometimes the best
training for the really big things is just the everyday things.


That’s what Cliff said: “Whenever the storms would roll in, I’d have to go run and round up the sheep.” 2,000 head of sheep. 2,000 acres of land.
“Sometimes I’d have to run those sheep for two or three days. I can run this
race; it’s only two more days. Five days. I’ve run sheep for three.”

“Got any backers?” Reporters shoved their microphones around old Cliff
like a spike belt.

“No….” Cliff slipped his hands into his overall pockets.

“Then you can’t run.

Cliff looked down at his boots. Does man need backers or does a man
need to believe? What you believe is the biggest backer you’ll ever have.


The other runners, all under a buffed 30 years of age, they take off like
pumped shots from that starting line. And scruffy old Cliff staggers forward.
He doesn’t run. Shuffles, more like it. Straight back. Arms dangling. Feet
awkwardly shuffling along.

Cliff eats dust.

For 18 hours, the racers blow down the road, far down the road, and old
Cliff shuffles on behind.

Come the pitch black of night, the runners in their $400 ergonomic Nikes
and Adidas, lay down by the roadside, because that’s the plan to win an
ultra-marathon, to run 544 straight miles: 18 hours of running, 6 hours of
sleeping, rinse and repeat for 5 days, 6 days, 7 days.

The dark falls in. Runners sleep. Cameras get turned off. Reporters go to
bed.

And through the black night, one 61-year-old man far behind keeps
shuffling on.

Cliff Young runs on through the dark — because he didn’t know you were
supposed to stop.

The accepted way professional runners approached the race was to run 18
hours, sleep 6, for 7 days straight.

But Cliff Young didn’t know that. He didn’t know the accepted way. He only knew what he did regularly back home, the way he had always done it:

You run through the dark.

Turns out when Cliff Young said he gathered sheep around his farm for
three days, he meant he’d run across 2,000 acres of farmland for three
days straight without stopping or sleeping, without the dark ever stopping
him.

You gathered sheep by running through the dark.

So along the endless stretches of highway, a tiny shadow of an old man
shuffled along, one foot after another, right through the heat, right through
the night.

Cliff gained ground.

Cliff gained ground because he didn’t lose ground to the dark. Cliff gained
ground because he ran through the dark.

And somewhere at the outset of the night, Cliff Young in his overalls, he
shuffled passed the toned runners half his age. And by the morning light,
teethless Cliff Young who wasn’t young at all, he was a tiny shadow — far,
far ahead of the professional athletes.

For five days, fifteen hours, and four minutes straight, Cliff Young ran, never once stopping for the dark –

never stopping until the old sheep farmer crossed the finish line – First.

He crossed the finish line first. Beating aworld record. By two. whole. days.

The second place runner crossed the finish line 9 hours after old Cliff.

And when they handed old Cliff Young his $10,000 prize, he said he hadn’t
known there was a prize. Said he’d run for the wonder of it. Said that all the
other runners had worked hard too. So Cliff Young waited at the finish line
and handed each of the runners an equal share of the 10K.

While others run fast, you can just shuffle with perseverance. While others impress, you can simply press on. While others stop for the dark, you can run through the dark.

The race is won by those who keep running through the dark.

(I could not find the link, but you won’t regret checking out Ann Voskamp)

” … we know that … perseverance (produces) character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

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“Don’t Cry”

What would you think if you were crying and someone said to you, “don’t cry?”

Luke 7:11-13
Soon afterward, Jesus went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went along with him. As he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.””

In this story of Jesus meeting up with a funeral procession, Jesus said to the mother, “don’t cry.”

It is so easy to simply focus on just those two words, but, there is more revealed in the story to give us understanding of what Jesus was thinking when he said those words.

Verse 13 says, “When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.””

Jesus was all God, all man. He could laugh, and cry. He could celebrate, and mourn (after all this was not the only person who Jesus raised from the dead. When he heard of Lazarus’ death, he wept, then raised a four-days dead man!). Jesus humanly understood the sorrow that the young man’s mother was suffering, and her suffering tugged at his human heart … as well as at his divine being. Maybe he not only saw, but also felt the heartache that the mother was feeling (Romans 12:15 “rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”).

As ‘his heart went out to her,’ Jesus saw the heartbreak, the agony, the loss, and the hopelessness in the countenance of the widowed mother of a dead young man. Her son that was to be her only hope for a future in that society.

Jesus also knew that he, a son, was the only hope of a future for us. Perhaps the mourning that Jesus saw in that woman was a foreshadowing of what Jesus, the Son of God, would experience when he would be separated by death, from his Father.

Then he said, “young man, I say to you, get up!” The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother.  They were all filled with awe and praised God. “A great prophet has appeared among us,” they said. “God has come to help his people.” (v. 14-16)

And, as the people were all in awe that “God has come to help his people,” those same people knew nothing of the sorrow that He would bare in order to help them, in the very near future. But, He knew.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.
Anyone who believes in Me will live, even if he dies.
And those who live and believe in Me will never die.
Do you believe this?”

John 11:25-26

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