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biking

Since I recently admitted my physical out of shape condition in the post What Doesn’t Kill You, I thought I would share about the last time I was on a bike, fifteen years ago. Perhaps it will provide understanding as to what might have kept me off the (dreaded, uncomfortable) bike seat.

My kids were three (B), five (C) and ten (B2). It was a sunny Friday morning, and we were riding our bikes to school, as we were a one vehicle family.

Actually, it was my oldest daughter and I who were biking, the younger two were in a bike trailer, facing each other. On this particular ride, I was in the front, with C & B trailing behind and B2 picked up the end.

The pair in the trailer (C & B) seriously loved each other, they also fought like banshees.  Which is exactly what they were doing that morning.

We were barely half way to our destination of school, when the memorable situation occurred.

“Moooommmm, B hit me,” said C (with a whiny voice).

To which I replied (with motherly wisdom), “B, no hitting, please.”

It continued …

“Moooommmm, B hit me again.” This time with more whining, more pleading.

To which I replied (with restraint), “B, hitting is not acceptable.”

“Moooommmm, B hit me again.” Now with cries of pain.

This time, with no restraint whatsoever, (but much motherly frustration), “hit him back!”

To which B2 cried out, “Mom did you just tell her to him?”

Now, you need to know that, though C was quite able to get her brother (B) in trouble, she did not, does not, have a physically violent bone in her body. So if she were to hit him back it would be the equivalent of whipping someone with a wet noodle.

We continued on.

“Moooommmm, B hit me again.” 

This time I could barely hear her words, for the belly sobs coming from within C.

In total and complete frustration (and the secret wish within me that I was dropping off the two of them to school, along with their sister), I yelled back, “Hit him back, and make sure it hurts!

We did eventually get to school, and drop off their sister (who, no doubt, was shaking her head as she went into the school, having lost any respect for me as a mother that morning).

I am certain that I found a private spot, got off my bike and threatened B to never, EVER, hit his sister again.

And that was the last time I rode a bike …

until last weekend …

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bike-lane

I am not sure that I am stronger, but I was certainly feeling like the experience might kill me in the midst of it.

A friend had been posting pics and details of her bike trip in an fairytale, far-away land. She and her sweetie were peddling 30-100kms each day, so I thought,

“I think I should go for a bike ride.”

About fifteen years ago is when I last remember peddling a bike (other than a stationary one).

So, I bribed my son to go for a bike ride with me … to get ice cream (really just to be there if I needed help … not that I would).

For the first time in 15 years, with not as much as a yawn for a stretch, in thirty degree temperature, I boarded my bike (you really don’t forget how to bike), looking classy in my sunglasses inherited by my daughter.

It was great! The feel of the breeze in your face, the power in your leg muscles, the feeling of freedom …

ok … that lasted, maybe, five minutes!

Then … reality … the salty sweat pouring into my eyeballs, the huffing and puffing, the feeling that my lungs were parched from inhaling so much dry air, the numb feeling in my hands with the igniting of carpel tunnel syndrome, the BURN in my legs and the work I had to do just to (sort of) keep up to my son.

When we, finally, made it to the ice cream shop, I realized that it was not really bribery for my son, it was ALL for me!

I am pretty sure that I was visually entertaining for anyone in the shop, as sweat poured down my forehead (when pressed, water poured like a fountain from the pads in the helmet). Even those classy sunglasses couldn’t improve my appearance!

With every lick of the ice creamy relief, the voice in my head kept saying

“we are only half way … this is impossible”

Sure enough it was time to get back on that horse bike. Oh my goodness, that hurt. What are bike seat makers thinking? Are they cruel? sadistic? Seriously, bikes have been around long enough that that kind of pain should not be necessary!

Away we went, teenage son peddling leisurely peddling in front, with puffing and panting, sweat pouring off of her, (leaving a wet trail like crumbs in a forest) manic mom following behind … way behind.

I think my son was a little worried about me, because he kept looking back (probably expecting to see me laying down, tapping  S O S  on the road). He kept asking, “you ok?” (which was kinda getting on my last nerve).

So I responded in the only way I knew that would keep him from asking me questions (when I didn’t have enough oxygen to breath, let alone answer redundant questions) … I sang:

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

Then we had hills ahead … up hills. I had been feeling the burn since … five minutes in. Now though was the biggest hill … a long forty-five degree hill. With each pedal I was certain that death was near.

My son stopped and offered to walk up with me. And that is when the monster inside, leapt from within. I stopped my bike, looked (through the fountain of sweat pouring over my eyes) at him, and said, in no uncertain terms, that I would NOT be walking my bike, because “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” AND I AM NOT DEAD (yet). I told him I would meet him at the top.

then I regretted every word, and wished I had had the strength to say what I really wanted to …

“please carry me”

Now, don’t you (reader) get so high and mighty … I pushed his massively big head out of my body and, as all mothers know, that means he owes me!

What seemed like tortuous hours later, I made it to the top.

He smiled … I did not … all energies were needed to get the rest of the way home!

I suggested he go ahead home, so that he wouldn’t have to wait for me … but to keep his phone nearby … in case the ambulance driver, who was surely in my near future, needed to reach him, to tell him what hospital or morgue in which to find me.

He peddled away, hesitantly.

The rest of the journey is a blur … because I couldn’t see through the waterfall of sweat in my eyes.

I reached home, crawled up the stairs (no, not literally, but my soul was crawling) to the front door, being held opened by my smiling son. I stumbled to the couch, where I dropped … without an ounce of grace.

I think that I resembled a dog who just had a bath, and feared that, if I shook, I would splatter sweat all over the house.

So, that is done.

And what did I learn?

Bike lanes are a brilliant addition to roads (I felt safe on them … except for the pending heart attack from the exercise). Bike seats are evil (and their makers are evil-er).

I am now in the market for biking shorts … with the most padding available!

I’ll get back on that horse bike, really soon (but not when it is thirty degrees out), cause what doesn’t kill you …

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For twenty years the first Tuesday of September has been a first day of school for our household.

Though I have smiled broadly, while passing back to school supplies in stores, we do still have a daughter in part time studies, as well as myself and two daughters going back to school as a workplace.

So, we pray:

God, who oversees all, and is in all,

Thank-you for the freedom and ability to learn, whether it is to learn how to greet a person or how to perform the most challenging mathematically problem.

Thank-you for the transportation to get to school, whether it is a sidewalk, a car pool parent, or a faithful bus driver.

Thank-you for the buildings, the infrastructure where we can learn, whether a centuries-old university, a classroom in a portable, or the dining room table.

Thank-you for water fountains from which to drink, bathrooms cleaned by humble hands and entrances that are monitored for safety.

Thank-you for those who teach, whether the one called teacher, coach, EA or student.

Thank-you for those who oversee learning, whether they be administration, a board of education or the administrative assistants (who really run the schools).

Thank-you for peers, whether they show us how to live, or how not to.

Thank-you for sports, art, music, drama, automotive and woodworking, and how they bring balance to our lives, both in and after school.

Lord,

may we rely on you when we are successful and struggling.

may we seek to make our world, our neighbourhood and our classrooms better places.

may you guide us to look out for each other, to protect each other, to love each other, as you love us.

May we work hard, play hard and love hard … all year long.

Amen

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Summer, Don’t Go

It was beautiful … all of it.

What started with sun, blue skies and a blank slate is now coming to an end with sun, blue skies and a (shorter time-limited) blank slate.

There were lazy days of sleeping in, afternoon naps, a novel on the lap and an icy cold drink by the side.

There were times with friends, family and furry beasts.

There was water in the pool, at the beach, and the waterpark.

There were times away … far, in our own towns and just down the street.

There was food on the patio, at the park, and while walking on the pier.

There were new adventures and regular old chores, done with new vigour.

There were new skills and well-practised abilities utilized in completing and crossing off items from the ‘summer project’ list.

There were slow, sweet moments of staring at the sun, the stars, your sweetie’s eyes.

There was time at the lake, the beach, walking the bustling city streets.

Summer was so full, for a season that started with a blank slate.

I don’t want to see it go.

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clowns_jokers_postcard-r5dc0802ca92f426da8efb521e7051e4c_vgbaq_8byvr_324

Left wing or right?

C/conservative or L/liberal?

I feel as though our world has gone crazy for pigeon-holing other humans.

As one who has always been quite comfortable being strangely unique, I am offended  (word of the day) by this pigeon-holing.

Because I am a woman …
does not mean I am a feminist, believe I am under the subjugation of men, or love Grey’s Anatomy (nor am I saying I am not).

Because I am an educator …
does not mean that I vote with union-supporting parties, believe that higher education is the only way to a successful life, or that I have amazing handwriting on a chalk/white board (nor am I saying I am not/do not).

Because I am a west coaster …
does not mean that I wear Birkenstocks (with or without wool socks), eat a Vegan diet, or that I do yoga on the beach (nor am I saying that I am not/do not).

Because I am a Christian, does not mean that I hate anyone who is Muslim, gay or whoever wears tattoos … period!

Here is who I am …
I am, first and foremost, a flawed, undeserving recipient of the most awe-inspiring redemption, from the One who set the world in place (though, I am not sure if it happened in seven days, seconds or millions of years … but I am fully confident that it was by an intelligent being).

I have voted for three national political parties since the first time I was of age to practice the privilege of voting. I vote with my conscience, not with the conscience of a politician, or a party.

I have three children, who I have encouraged, since childhood, to look out for the underdog, the new kid, those who may seem weak … never has this encouragement been connected to a race, religion, lifestyle or any other differential. To care about and for all created things. And I have taught them to NEVER make statements that they are not willing to do something about (and that holding a placard is not as important as reaching for the hand of one who has fallen or been pushed down).

I believe it is possible to have a relationship, even love, someone with whom I disagree. I do not choose to love only those who think like me … how lacking in diversity of life.

I believe in free speech … even when I do not like what is being communicated.

I believe that all of human history matters, and that we learn from what was done right, as well as what was done wrongly. This is the reality of all human existence, that we all have the capability of good and of evil.

I am not perfect … not in my actions, my attitudes or my words, for “there is no just man (or woman)” (Romans 3:10).

I am no pigeon and, I bet, neither are you.

 

 

 

 

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We have all had that experience of being the new girl/guy. Whether in kindergarten class or tenth grade, we have all been the new kid at school.

Tomorrow is the day when I get to be the new girl.

My colleagues of eleven of the past fourteen years all returned to work yesterday, but I stayed home and watered my flowers in my pjs (in my VERY private back yard).

Tomorrow I will drive in the opposite direction, to a different high school to meet my my new colleagues, at my new job.

The final decision happened very quickly … yet it was in the works for much longer. I guess you could say my work life is Recalculating.

I have spent much of the summer reminiscing and reflecting over how much I learned, grew and care for the staff and students who I will miss.

Now I have turned one hundred and eighty degrees, face forward, ready for what may await.

I have gone from mourning to dreaming. Though it is more difficult to dream before I see where I will work, meet the staff and students who will fill my days and know the place and plan that God has cooked up for my year.

My tummy is a butterfly haven, yet I trust that they are all very energetic, graceful and not without direction.

I guess that is what I am hoping and trusting for myself as I walk new hallways …

that I am energetic, in my body but also in my mind.

that I am graceful, grace-filled, in my work with staff and students.

that I am walking with direction, which means holding tightly to the One who led me through those new doors.

Starting to get excited!

“… every single day Your grace reminds me
That my best days are not behind me …
here I come
the future has begun
Day one”
Matthew West (from the song “Day One”)

 

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There are times in all of our lives when what we planned falls through or simply cannot be done.

Those can be such disappointing times, making us question our planning, our dreaming, even our praying.

Often it is not until years, weeks or even just hours later, that our eyes are open to the possibilities, blessings or even just maturing that can come from being forced to revise our plan.

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As I sat in the movie theatre, chowing down on popcorn and watching the advertisements prior to the previews for upcoming movies, a Jeep commercial came on the screen.

I became a proud (hubby would say overly proud, but I digress) Jeep owner a year ago, so I watched with full attention.

The ad was for a 2017 model, and depicted various people being directed by an automated mapping voice, then the person(s) would go against the directions, and turn another way, quit their job, get married at a different age than planned, move, etc, and the automated voice would verbalize the different decision as it might if we took a different turn on the road with “recalculating”.

Jeep says, “for more than 75 years, the Jeep name has been indelibly associated with freedom, authenticity, adventure and passion. These are vehicles for “ dreamers and doers” – forging extraordinary, uncommon bonds between themselves and their owners”

Though I think that might be a rather lofty goal for any automobile or corporation, it is a statement that would resonate with many people today, who are looking for an out of the box experience of life.

Recalculating

That is the reality of the human experience. Though we do not often acknowledge it, this change of direction is one that reminds us that our lives are not completely in our human hands.

Proverbs 16:9 is like that ancient, ageless text of “recalculating”:

In their hearts, humans plan their course
but the Lord establishes their steps.”

Yes, we can and should make plans, but we also should not hold on to those plans with tight fists.

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matthew

There is a trend in our society, that has been making me wonder lately.

The trend is all of the respect yourself advice. Let me give you a couple of examples:

“respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy”

“respect yourself enough to say “I deserve peace” and walk away from people or things that prevent you from attaining it”

Basically, the messages tend to be (my words) “if I am not getting what I want from you, I will erase you from my life”

Every time I read one of these (faux) pearls of wisdom, my mind goes to situations, seasons and people who stuck with me when I was that person.

that person who was selfish

that person who treated another poorly

that person who didn’t make the effort to call, email or contact

that person who took more than they gave

that person who should have been walked away from

You see, we are all that person at times. We all have seasons of selfishness, distraction, ignorance, and pride. We all have been mean, unthinking and unappreciative.

I am not saying we should be a doormat or allow ourselves to be abused … no way. What I am saying is that, maybe, the loudest message today is we deserve only good from others.

The further I go in my life, the more I look back at the ways my grandparents did life.

I remember times when a certain neighbour, fellow church member or relative would do or say something disrespectful to my grandmother. She would shake her head … and move on with her day. The next time she would see them, she approached them with the grace of a blank slate … and usually that was the end of the situation.

You see she respected herself enough to not dwell on those incidents. She also understood the wisdom of the ages, the golden rule of life, that you treat others as you would like them to treat you.

And, at least in my life, I am so thankful for those who treated me with such grace as to treat me as they would desire for me to treat them.

 

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For years I have dreamed of knocking this one thing off my bucket list, and I finally did it!

Our son has attended a summer camp as a camper, on work crew, as a LIT (leader-in-training) and staff for every year since he was seven. This sIMG_2416ummer was year ten, and, quite possibly, his last.

For the past few years I have dreamed of volunteering there, as a means of meeting all the people he has talked about, getting photos and giving back to this place as a gift for all they have done for him.

My energy was higher than it had been in the past few years, so this was to be the year.

The area they needed assistance was in the kitchen, so that is where I got to spend my time.

The camp kitchen is managed by a knowledgable, experienced, hard-working cook who runs the food prep with military precision. She works long hours, many days and does so while adoring (and being adored by) the youth who are part of camp.

It felt good to be able to do a task which allowed you to see it through to completion. But, I gotta tell you, it is hard, tiring work!

IMG_2412I got to go to watch the most beautiful mornings and evenings at the the edge of the lake, where the pesky geese would arrive, numerous times each day (to eat the treats dropped on the ground then pooh all over the grass). The lake was often still at these beginnings and endings, but ever so alive with activity during the daytime, as campers and neighbours were boating, swimming and various other water activities.

I got to attend a campfire time in the chapel in the woods, sparsely

IMG_2317decorated with benches, strings of Christmas lights, and staggered wood planks framing the ‘stage’. The guest speakers communicating the love and acceptance of Christ in their words and in how they interacted with everyone there, all the while also caring for and communicating love and acceptance to their two young children.

I got to meet and chat with Muffin, Itchy, Nacho, Ginger and so many others by the camp names I had heard year after year. I got to speak thanks to the camp director, program director and their wives, who have led, instructed and cared for our son. I also got to meet Fred and Elmer (and Skippy), who our son had spent two years doing work crew with, learning about work ethic, being real and doing it all for Christ.

I got to volunteer alongside of other volunteers, who just wanted to give back to the camp that they had attended, or just wanted to give their time to.

“Kawkawa’s mission is
to transform, build, and impact lives
in God’ creation
by living in community, offering programs and services
and teaching and modeling Christ
through our camp staff and facilities.”

And that IS what they do. Perfectly? No. With great love? Definitely!

BLKP4376

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holiday

Having just returned from a week of holiday-ing on the west coast of Oregon, I am still living in the residual joy of that time away from the day-to-day responsibilities.

Getting away is amazing. Away from work, and the phone, and making dinner, and doing laundry, and all the rest of the same old, same old.

Then we return home, after time away, and revel in that very same, same old. We return and have refreshed thoughts about our jobs, try new recipes, make our suitcase-smelling clothes fresh and clean and reach for the phone to re-connect with our families and friends.

According to the definition (above) a holiday is a holy day, a day when work is suspended to celebrate an event … you know, an event, like Monday, or August, or Christmas, or … (you fill in the blank).

Though an extended time away from work is a great blessing, a holiday can be any day that we bring a holiday mindset into its beginning and sprinkle it through to evening.

As I prepare my mind for the beginning of a new sc—l year (I am simply not ready to say the word yet 😉 ), I am thinking that I need to incorporate the idea of holiday into every week.

I need to spend my lunch break, at work, going for a walk, or chatting with a co-worker about anything but work.

I need to include a dinner each week in candlelight.

I need to spend the end of my day reading a fiction novel (no self-help, DIY or factual reading).

I need to walk on a beach … any beach, at least once a month (even in the rain … I love it on vacation, so why not on a Saturday afternoon in November?).

I need to make plans with those people who we always say, “we should get together sometime,” and never do. Holidays are perfect for those sometimes.

I need to laugh, from the belly.

I need to dream.

I need to reflect.

I need to plan and look forward to the next vacation holiday, be it a weekend or a longer time away.

What do you need to do, in order to attain more holidays throughout your year?

“The holiest of all holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart,
When the full river of feeling overflows;—
The happy days unclouded to their close;
The sudden joys that out of darkness start
As flames from ashes; swift desires that dart
Like swallows singing down each wind that blows!
White as the gleam of a receding sail,
White as a cloud that floats and fades in air,
White as the whitest lily on a stream,
These tender memories are;—a fairy tale
Of some enchanted land we know not where,
But lovely as a landscape in a dream.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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