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Strength through Perseverance

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #dontgiveup, #strengththroughperseverence, strength, Struggles on July 20, 2017| 4 Comments »

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Chatting with a friend, it was clear that something had changed in her life, for I had never before known her to be so comfortable in her own skin.

As a matter-of-fact, she oozed confidence, joy and strength.

“What had caused the change?” I asked.

The answer was not a quick one, waiting on the tip of her tongue, but one that came from asking it of herself … again, and again. For her answer was not in an event or epiphany, but in a slow and gradual change from the inside out.

As we talked, I found myself suggesting different possible events and choices she had made, in the last year, or more. Each suggestion caused her to pause and not, but not in total agreement.

At last we discussed some of the more difficult things she had been through and experienced. The more we talked the more clear it was that life had actually been more challenging, more difficult, through this process of her metamorphosis. There were events and frustrations she had faced that might put many of us back in our beds with the blankets over our heads.

Finally I smiled at her, “I know what precipitated this changed! You chose bravery. You did the hard stuff, you faced the challenges and you kept moving forward.”

She smiled, reflecting on my words, but also reflecting on what had gone on in her life.

She was an overcomer, and doing that hard stuff, the uncomfortable stuff, challenging herself to keep going actually strengthened her, making her even more prepared to forge on when the next, even more difficult challenge presented itself.

Often in our society, today, we are gracious with ourselves, giving ourselves the permission to say no, to bow out and to not complete the tasks that are difficult. This is not all bad, but maybe, what we need to consider, is that it is through perseverance, through humility and through hardships that we condition ourselves, growing in strength as we commit to completing the challenge?

“A sense of weakness may bestir us to a bravery
which else we had not known.”
C.H. Spurgeon

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I Know He Watches Me

Posted in GOD, life, Nature/Creation, Walking with God, tagged #godinthegarden, #hiseyeisonthesparrow, #iknowhewatchesme, Hope on July 18, 2017| Leave a Comment »

sparrow

I had a great morning yesterday.

I spent the morning in the garden, cleaning up an area where the roses needed a trim.

I had, intentionally, planned to do anything that resembled work (though the garbage can full of clippings and weeds might indicate that work did occur).

It was in the garden that I experienced the most joy. Earlier in the day, I had listened to a song produced by my daughter’s friend, that I loved in my youth, “His Eye is on the Sparrow”. As I wandered through the thorns of the roses the song was still in my mind, on my lips (thank goodness not a human pair of ears were within listening range, for I am only a large group singer).

The garden was a mess. The last time I had weeded and trimmed was mid March. The weeds had gone to seed, the roses were bundles of withered mess.

I sing, because I’m happy
I sing, because I’m free
For his eye is on the sparrow,
And I know he watches me.

The words played in my mind the whole time. The longer they played, the more daringly I sang (no one was home, and our neighbours live a safe distance to avoid ear damage from my version of singing). As the moments ticked on, the affirmation of security in the truth of those lyrics created the beauty of sanctuary in my weeds.

And that is what my life is often full of … weeds, and the need to have what is withered, what is worn and draining energy snipped, pruned and carried away. But, whatever state my heart and life are in, I have a heavenly father who is also the master gardener of my soul and life, and he watches over me.

“Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me”

“Are not two sparrows sold for a cent?
And yet not one of them will fall to the ground
apart from your Father.
“But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
“So do not fear;
you are more valuable than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:29-31

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Golden Summer Days

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged #bestill, #goldenmoments, #goldensummerdays, #lessmondaymoresummer on July 16, 2017| Leave a Comment »

It isn’t until summer that I remember how very much I love the colour of the walls in our bedroom.

They are a soft, pale yellow, like butter. I had painted the ensuite bath, in our previous house, with the same colour, and I loved it so much, that I immediately painted our bedroom with the same buttercream yellow, once we moved … thirteen years ago!

It is in the late afternoon, when the sun is shining into the south and west windows of our bedroom that the colour comes alive, and emits not just a brightness, but a sense of delight that brings a smile to my face.

The thing is, I never have or take the time to enjoy this glorious, sacred space.

But, in summer, I sometimes wander into my bedroom, and realize that it is a place of visual magic. I lay on the bed (or get totally irresponsible and slide into the bedsheets … in the middle of the day … gasp!) and my eyes wander as the light is reflected off of my golden walls and into my sun-starved soul.

Pure delight!

As I enjoy yet another summer of such opportunities, I am learning to not take these golden opportunities for granted. These summer days are complete blessings, full of so many opportunities to fill one’s cup.

I think I am finally reaching the point of maturity that I am learning to drop what I think I must do, and just “be still … and know that I am NOT God” (Psalm 46:10 … with edit 😉 ).

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One Job or Three Hobbies?

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #morethanonesided, #onejoborthreehobbies, #threeloves, #varietyisthespiceoflife on July 13, 2017| Leave a Comment »

hobbies

EVERYTHING hurts!

Yesterday I worked at trimming a tree, two shrubs and clearing rock away from a pathway that hubby and I will install brick.

And today, EVERYTHING hurts!

Usually when I spend a day of physical labor, I am wise, and take an anti inflammatory medication at the end of that day. This usually ensures that I sleep well that night and that I do not awaken the next day in agony … yesterday I was not wise!

That said, I love that summer avails me the time and opportunity to get some physical labor done around our property … in the most creative of ways.

Often we look at that activity, which pays the bills, as our one and only. We invest one hundred percent of our time, energy and creativity into that one thing.

But we humans are more than one dimensional.

We can be injured (physically), deal with a mental illness or suffer with spiritual starvation … three parts of who we are.

In the same way, we are healthier when we work hard our bodies, work for money and participate in creating things. Not one is more important, and all make for a healthier whole.

It gives me perspective into looking at when work/school begin in the fall. I need to remember that my whole is not defined simply by what brings home a paycheque, but also what keeps me moving, and what keeps me dreaming and creating.

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Lord Hear our Prayers

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged #lordhearourprayers, #morecommomthandifferent, #prayingtogether, #unityofbelievers on July 10, 2017| Leave a Comment »

Driving down the road, listening to the news about the increasing numbers of forest fires overnight, I found myself whispering Lord hear our prayers.

Though I was driving by myself, I had a sense that anyone of faith, listening to the destructive power of the fires in British Columbia was making the same petition.

Lord hear our prayers, is a prayer of intercession and of faith.

The beauty of it is that it is simplistic and unifying.

This petition, this intercession is a reminder that there is so much more that we share in common, than that which we differ. We share in our love for those dear to us, our concern for the health and safety for our fellow humans, our desire for peace, that we would be good caretakers of our world and it’s resources, and our hope for eternity.

So today, I am praying, but I am so aware that I am not praying alone, or in my own steam.

Lord, care for our loved ones.

Lord hear our prayers.

Lord, for those who are ill, please bring healing.

Lord hear our prayers.

Lord, bring peace to our world.

Lord hear our prayers.

Lord, guide us in being good stewards of this world and all that is on it.

Lord hear our prayers.

Lord, we rest in the reassuring knowledge that our forever is with you.

Lord hear our prayers.

And Lord, please be with those affecting by the forest fires. The fire fighters, emergency personal, those displaced, those fearful. Please bring refreshing rains to these fire endangered lands.

Lord hear our prayers.

Amen.

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Come Home

Posted in GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #comehome, #heavenisourhome, #thevalleyoftheshadow, eternity, heaven on July 9, 2017| Leave a Comment »

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Death and taxes, those two fatalistic certainties of life. Neither desirable, but both inevitable.

It is a difficult thing to walk in the shadow of the valley of death with someone.

I say this mostly at a distance from experiencing it, as my walks with the dying have been rather few. My hubby, though, is a pastor, and he has walked this road much more frequently.

When death is imminent, daily life gets postponed, for to live with the dying can be the most real of living life.

I often think of this valley walk as one on holy ground … living in the space between no longer and not yet.

Throughout the ministry of Jesus, he would preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 4:17). As Jesus gave his famous Sermon on the Mount, he spoke of the kingdom of God/heaven. It would seem that the kingdom of God/heaven is wherever He was/is. So, when he was walking this Earth, as a man, he was delivering the Kingdom, just as we, who live with the Spirit of God in our lives, also bring the kingdom with us where we go (“for the kingdom of God is within you” Luke 17:21).

But, Philippians 3:20 also tells us:

our citizenship is in heaven.
And we eagerly await a Savior from there,
the Lord Jesus Christ.”

You see, our residence is here, and we bring the kingdom of God and heaven wherever we go, but our passport … we are citizens of the eternal kingdom of heaven, ruled by the God of all time.

For the believer, “we do not grieve as those who have no hope”. Our hope is in the promise of Jesus, himself, who said, “if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am” (John 14:3).

“Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling,
Calling for you and for me;
See, on the portals He’s waiting and watching,
Watching for you and for me.

Come home, come home,
You who are weary, come home;
Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling,
Calling, O sinner, come home!”

Will L. Thompson

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God will Rush Toward You

Posted in GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #godpursuesus, #godwillrushtowardyou, #youcanneveroutrungod, forgiven, Redemption on July 6, 2017| Leave a Comment »

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“I know that I’ll come back to my faith, I just need to figure it out for myself first.”

I am not sure whether those words made my heart sink (for the intentional turning away from God) or start to sing (for the door is not closed).

This person had grown up in a home of faith and in the church. They had received the love, acceptance and blessings of such a life. Having a time of evaluating and reevaluating the dogma that one grows up in, is a normal and even a good process. It is a pruning of what is and isn’t absolute and a polishing of what never changes. It is a process of choosing whether one’s faith is personal, or simply hereditary.

Yet, it still can be like a kick in the gut to hear that one is choosing to turn their back on the faith, even just for a season.

Then, weeks after this conversation, as I was driving to a meeting, a song came on the radio that reminded me of the never-ending pursuit of our heavenly father for our hearts, souls, lives.

“You will never outrun my love
There’s no distance too far, that I can’t reach you
There’s no place that’s so dark, that I can’t find you
Anywhere that you are, if you need proof
Take a look at these scars, and know I love you
Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter what you’ve done
You are never, you are never, never too far gone”

And these words are not just for those who are figuring out where God fits into their life. They are also for those who feel that their choices, their actions and behaviours are far too vile for God to forgive. God forgives. That is why his son had to die, because the debt of the sins of humanity needed a pure atonement, a propitiation, which is literally “a falling or rushing toward” (www.etymonline.com).

We will never do anything, go anywhere, that God is not rushing toward us, offering his forgiveness. It is offered, because he knows we will need it.

If you want to check out the entire song, check out Jordan Felix.

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Praying for Comfort

Posted in WONDER on July 4, 2017| 2 Comments »

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Even when the sun is shining, and summer fills our days with rest and relaxation, there can be struggle, sadness and sorrow in the lives of others.

red

This week my prayers have been for those who are hurting, grieving, lonely and dealing with deep and difficult circumstances.

As I did errands today, my soul was aching for one who is longing for the support of her deceased husband.

As I spent yesterday
weeding, I was praying, wordlessly, for a friend who needs hope.

On Saturday, as I pruned shrubs in my garden, my lips whispered prayers. Another friend is coming to the end of the first year without her husband. She has been so brave, in having to deal, not only with her deep grief, but also the need to fight for her own physical life.

At times, the prayers we pray are wordless, and we simply groan, trusting that God will take our groaning and knit it into comfort, support, peace and love.

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Come Away With Me

Posted in The Hubby, WONDER, tagged #comeawaywithme, #marriageishardwork, Marriage, Retreat on July 2, 2017| 2 Comments »

I looked at my dirty toilet, Wednesday morning, and thought to myself,

“I’d really rather stay home and clean my house than go away with hubby for a couple of nights.”

What woman thinks these thoughts?

The school year had come to an end, and hubby had planned a little mini get away for just us two, and I wanted to stay home and clean toilets? I do need a vacation!

Now that we are home from our two night get-away, I truly do not know that woman who stared longingly into her dirty toilet bowl.

I am so thankful for those days with that man.

We talked, we walked in silence, we sat at the beach, we relaxed in the hot springs pool, we laughed, we dreamed, we discussed, we enjoyed good food, and were totally spoiled at a couples massage.

Twenty-eight years ago, yesterday, this man asked me to marry him (after I told him we were done … that is another story, for another day).

We didn’t take much time to get to know each other before walking an aisle, repeating vows and sealing it with a kiss.

Our marriage has been:

good … and bad,
romantic … and boring,
united … and divided,
healthy … and so very unhealthy,
committed … and should have been committed … to a psychiatric facility.

The effects of the demands of jobs, children, home maintenance, financial stresses, mutual disappointments, disagreements and drudgery have made for a number of … right sided (see the list on the right, above) marital experiences over the years.

But in moments like we just had, away just us two, are more cleansing and rewarding than the mundane of cleaning a house.

This time remind us that it was love, attraction, and joy in each other that started this wild and crazy life journey together.

The youngest of our three just graduated high school, this is a transition time for us. How lovely to start this new phase, together, away … with not a care in the world … not even dirty toilets.

“My beloved said to me,
“Get up, my true love, my beautiful one,
and come with me.”
Song of Solomon 2:10

the lake

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Be Brave

Posted in GOD, WONDER, tagged #bebrave, #dontdoubt, #dotheimpossible, #havefaithinyourself on June 29, 2017| Leave a Comment »

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It was September of 2016 that the ability to trust myself enough to be brave returned.

I was frustrated, downcast and I doubted myself greatly. When a day like this occurs, I have three go tos; Pinterest, employment sites, or food. Now, lets face it, I didn’t choose just one, I simply hit them all, one by one.

For some reason all three of our kids were home, and I was interacting with them as I perused local employment opportunities, laughing with them as we considered me in the various positions available (laughter really is the best medicine).

Although I hold a diploma, as a Draftsman, a certificate (plus fourteen years experience), as an Educational Assistant, and I have experience in a other areas, what I do not possess (and it seems to be the new grade 12 diploma) is an undergrad degree.

As I was perusing employment opportunities, one stopped me in my tracks. It was as an instructor in a local university-college, in a job training program for individuals with disabilities.

I remembered visiting that program on my spring break many years prior, and having been so impressed with what it offered, and the philosophy of those who managed the program. After my visit I designed a work experience program, at the high school I worked, to mirror that one, ensuring that those who completed my program would qualify for this university-college one.

I shared it with my kids, who knew of my great respect for it, and they all said, “apply for it.” I smiled, a mom smile, and said, “the minimum requirement is an undergrad, and they prefer someone with a masters.” My heart sunk, as I work in a high school, and I know how very important credentials are to be employed there, so a university college wouldn’t even look at my resume.

But they persisted, throwing mantras at me that I had thrown their way over the years of mothering and empowering them that they loss nothing from trying and that “they have not because they ask not.”

I wavered in the reality of my lacking, but didn’t want to by a hypocrite with my kids.

I glanced at the deadline … Monday. This was Friday, and I hadn’t updated my resume in years. This was going to take work, and there wasn’t much in the reservoir … but I felt I needed to model bravery to my kids.

So, I spent my weekend creating a new and improved resume (with the help of my kids), and, on Monday, I submitted it online, hours before the deadline.

Ah, I did it! I had modelled to my kids that my self doubt would not stop me from trying the impossible! My job was done.

Then, on Wednesday, I received, what I thought to be confirmation of receipt of my resume, and a thanks, but no thanks response.

Instead, it was an appointment for an interview …

for my dream job
that I was not even close to having the educational minimum requirements for
that I only applied to so as to model what I expect of my kids

I was flabergasted!

I had to get hubby to read it, to ensure that I had read it correctly.

A week later I went to that interview, and met three welcoming and, no doubt, fully educated, women. I answered their questions, I gave a brief outline of what I might teach to prepare the students for an interview.

The interview lasted about one hour …

and I blew it!

I have never in my life, interviewed so poorly. It was as though I could hear everything I was saying, yet I had no control over my words.

When I was graciously thanked, and left the room, I raced to exit the building, and get to a private space, where I …

laughed hysterically! As in, bent over in deep tummy laughter!

I had taught work experience for about six years, including how to survive a job interview, and yet I had managed to perform as though I had no idea what a job interview was to entail.

But, I didn’t care … I had done the impossible, and through this exercise of bravery, the debilitating anxiety (and self doubt) that I had been living with for the three years prior was overcome … not completely, but there were cracks in my self-doubt.

The tide had turned, and I was reminded that God has given me gifts to use and share.

“Then Jesus told them,
“I tell you the truth,
if you have faith and don’t doubt,
you can do things like this and much more.”
Matthew 21:21

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