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The Purpose Driven Road Less Travelled

Posted in Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged #goingittogether, #roadtrips, #thepurposedrivenroadlesstravelled, #travellingwithyourspouse on September 8, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Might be good better adjusted further

As a kickstart to summer, hubby and I took a road trip to visit dear friends.

On this trip we learned something new about each other.

Hubby likes to take the road less travelled, whereas I desire a more purpose driven trip.

As we travelled, hubby loved the meandering country roads, in the valley of a mountain range. Periodically encountering farm vehicles, who we would need to wait patiently behind, until a safe location spot in the road availed passing the slow moving vehicles.

I, on the other hand, yearned for the three (or four) lane highways, on which good time could be made, and progress toward our goal of reaching our friendly destination would be achieved.

In the middle of summer we took another trip, across the state of Washington, from West to East (from the coast to the desert … in August! But, that is a story for another day). For hubby, our destination was the reason for the trip. For myself, it was the mountain highway vistas that had my interest peeked.

Were I driving, we would have stopped at every pull off, to see all that we could see.

Hubby, on the other hand, just wanted to reach our destination, as soon as possible.

For this trip, it was I who desired the road less travelled, and he who wanted purpose-driven travels.

Then, last weekend, we packed up and pointed the vehicle south, to the Oregon Coast. This is our favourite vacation destination, and the trip was entirely a purpose-driven one, from north to south to north again. The only roads less travelled were in and around the area where we stayed.

Through our individual and combined responses, these road trips have shown me something about our years together.

It doesn’t matter which road we take.

There have been times when one of us is heading in a very specific direction, and it’s full boar ahead, whereas the other just goes along for the ride. Sometimes the driver is reversed. Then there are the times when we have both been intent to get to our destination, redeeming the time to get there.

What matters is that we are heading to the same destination.

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The First Last Day

Posted in WONDER, tagged #firstdayofschool, #godlovesyoumore, #thelastfirstday on September 6, 2016| Leave a Comment »

This is the final first day of school, for our son, for our family.

Nineteen years ago, our oldest daughter entered kindergarten. Today, as with each first day, teeth and hair will be brushed, new (or at least clean) clothes donned, and a rushed photo was taken at the door, before loading the vehicle with bodies and new school supplies, to make the short journey to their place of higher learning.

It was only this weekend that this reality sent me back through the years of schooling. There were the friendships, the teachers, the school photos, the field trips, the science fairs, the works of art, the sports, plays and musical activities. There have been enough smiles to light up a city, enough tears to fill a bathtub.

Through all the reminiscing, my mind kept bringing me back to one thing which involved each of our three children in their elementary years, but the message of which has become a lifetime challenge, particularly for our son, for whom this is the final first day of school.

When our three attended elementary school, they would return home on the first day of school with a letter that struck fear and nightmares into my momma heart. It was the annual note about the need for an earthquake kit.

Having grown up on the East Coast of North America, earthquakes were something that happened someplace else. Even now, when I cross a bridge, I recognize that the ‘big one’ might happen before I return to terra firma.

Within that letter about earthquake preparedness would be a list of needed items … granola bars, fruit leathers, juice box, a large plastic garbage bag, a family picture, a letter to comfort your child until you reunite … IF you don’t reunite.

And so, that evening, I would sit, with paper and pen, ready to write.

And I would sob, because what momma wants to write what might be their final communication, to their child?

Eventually, I would take a big girl breath, and write the same message that I wrote the year before, and the one before that. It’s the only message that matters, and it matters whether I am dead or alive.

My child,

I love you more than words could ever describe,

But,

God loves you more,

And he will never leave you.

Whenever I would tell my son this message, that God loves him more, he would place his hands on my cheeks and shake his head saying, “no mommy, you love me more.” And I would reply, “but God loves you most. He gave up his son for you, and I could never give up my son. God loves you more.”

I hope that whether my children are starting at a new school, moving to a new city, starting their own families, struggling with relationships, experiencing failing health, or survived an earthquake they will always remember that they are not alone, but they are surrounded by one who loves them, even more than me.

God loves you more, from the first day to the last, from beginning to end.

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Thanks for Summer Camp

Posted in FAMILY, WONDER, tagged #campkawkawa, #handsandfeet, #thanksforsummercamp, thanks on September 4, 2016| 1 Comment »

canoe-dock

Dear Summer Camp Director,

Seven weeks of our teenage son being away at summer camp equaled a savings of approximately $600 in groceries, (a very conservative estimate), hundreds of litres (gallons) of hot water showers and many kilowatts of electricity to power his computer, phone and razor (ok, so he probably wouldn’t have used that razor even if he were home).

The summer of 2016 marked the ninth year that our son went to summer camp. Whether it was year one, at seven years of age, when he went for just a week, or this past summer, when he came home only once in his seven weeks there, I miss him each and every time.

But I wouldn’t have summer any other way!

Often I have wondered, do you know, do you really know, how significant and important what you do and provide is in the growth and development of those who attend?

Now that the summer is over, you are exhausted from the inside out and you find yourselves scanning job opportunities in any area BUT camp ministries, let me share what your blood, sweat and tears have produced.

When our son was just a little guy who came to camp for a week each summer, there were two things he would tell us about; how great his cabin councillors were, and how he had dedicated his life to Christ … EVERY year!

Those older teens were heroes in the eyes of our son. I remember once being at an event centre, mid winter, and this teenager was yelling his name. When our son turned around to where the voice was coming, his eyes shone as though he was noticed by a celebrity. He grew up desiring to be like them.

This summer camp has always been the place of spiritual re-set. Each summer he was reminded who he is, in Christ, and was given the opportunity to accept the challenge to start from where he was, through the grace that God gives so generously.

As he grew, more opportunities were available at summer camp. Opportunities to serve, and give back. He spent a couple of years involved as work crew, doing anything from cleaning toilets to chopping wood, to serving in the dining room. Through this work, he was mentored by ‘the old guys’ (retired men who volunteered at the camp) and by staff who oversaw the work and the attitudes of the teens. His stories were of the people, and of what he learned of Christ through those people.

Last year he got to participate in a L.I.T. (Leadership in Training) program. Two weeks of intentional learning about what it was to be a leader, through study and practise … head and hand learning. Some of what he learned is still pinned to his bedroom wall, as a reminder of what a leader is, what a leader does. He came home inspired, motivated to be a leader in whatever capacity required, from cleaning toilets to counselling in a cabin.

He has been free at camp, free to be the individual that is part of the whole, called summer camp. He has shared stories of great speakers (who he now calls friends and mentors), activities on land and water, challenges … from the behaviours of campers and to his own behaviours, and tales of Christ working in and through the people who are, camp.

Through all nine years, camp has always been about the people and being reminded that Christ loves and died for him.

I am still parenting this hairy beast called my son, but I couldn’t have done it without your camp, without you. You have been the hands and feet of Christ, teaching him how to devote his hands and feet to Christ.

So, close that job search website, and receive the grateful, heartfelt praise from this humbled mom. You are not doing this great work alone, you are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.

I am a thankful mom, and I am not alone in my thanks for all you do.

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A Smoother Ride

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, WONDER, tagged #asmootherride, #dearyoungerme, #ifiknewthen, #mercyme, #whenwewereyoung, Choices, Mistakes on July 12, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Working away in my garage, humming to a song on the radio, I heard the words “Dear Younger Me, if I could tell you everything that I have learned so far …”

We all know what it is to ponder where our life would be if only we had known when we were young, what we know now.

That reflective introspective moment quickly pivoted my thoughts away from me, when I heard the line “a smoother ride” and was instantly in a truck, just the day before.

I had been accompanying my daughter to our mechanic, who was to look over the truck that she wished to purchase. The entire ride, wait for the mechanics diagnosis, and drive to return the truck back to it’s seller, I wanted to place my hands on her shoulders, force her to make eye contact with me, and tell her (sternly)

DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY! Go purchase a nice, safe, compact car.

But, I couldn’t, I can’t.

You see, my parents, whose failings I could fill a lined piece of paper (and, as parents, we could all fill an entire notebook with our own failings), did one thing I have grown to respect beyond their failings … they let me chose.

Though not church-goers, they fully supported my personal faith with Christ, even attending and celebrating my baptism as a teen.

They welcomed me home with open arms when I quit university (something I now regret).

Then, two months later, despite still owing student loan money, I decided to take a trip to Mexico with a friend (I am pretty certain that they probably almost severed their tongues from biting them) yet they never said a negative word.

They also said not one discouraging word when, at nineteen, I declared that I was getting married. (not sure I could withhold from voicing my discouraging words, if I were in their shoes).

they let me chose …

Over and over, they let me make my own decisions. I have had no one to blame when I blew it, other than myself. I have been the self-scholar of my life’s choices, learning from each one.

It’s not that they never gave me advice, but that that is all they did … gave advice, then loved me with an unconditional love, whether I chose their advice, or choose my own way.

God is the original model of what it is to parent this way. He has given us his advice, knowing exactly what the consequences of our choices will be, then he lets us choose, while loving us, unconditionally.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39

Though I would love to be able to write a letter of what to do, and what not to, or to throw up a stop sign whenever my younger self is about to make a life-altering decision that I may not like the consequences of down the road …

I am who I am today because of all my choices,

good, bad, and even the yet to be determined.

And so, though I want more than anything a smoother ride for my daughter than I might have had, I also know that she needs to make the choice as to what her ride will be …

even if it is a truck.

“the choices that you’ll make
cause they’re the choices that made ma
and even though I love this crazy life
sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride,
dear younger me …

every mountain, every valley
through each heart ache you will see
every moment brings you closer
to who you were meant to be.”

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Perspective

Posted in GOD, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged #allcreationpraises, #hesgotit, #psalm 50:12, Perspective on June 23, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Walking is an activity that goes beyond movement or exercise.

We walk for many reasons. We might walk for the exercise, or to be in the fresh air, or to reach a destination, or to clear our heads, or to spend time with a friend (fur friends included).

Recently I left the house later in the evening, knowing that the long-stretching daylight would brighten my path … and, I hoped, my mood.

I walked, alongside the WonderDog, who seemed to know that my mood would not be compassionate to his frequent pulling. As I walked, I groaned.

Like tectonic plates under the Earth’s surface, a domino-like catastrophic event seemed to be rocking my world, and I wanted to respond in volcanic fashion. I was holding nothing back, and God was getting an earful of the really real me. I honestly do not even recall anything that I said, heard or smelled, until I reached a beautiful vista of the valley below my neighbourhood. It was then that my heart began to hear the still small voice, through the lyrics of an old hymn.

“This is my Father’s World” started reverberating in my thoughts out of nowhere.

I have had this sort of interruption often enough to know to listen to the message.

“This is my Father’s world …”

Not mine, His.

” … and to my listening ears
all nature sings, and round me rings
the music of the spheres …”

And I listened … to the birds, the insects.

” … I rest me in the thought
of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought …”

What an amazing world we have in which to live.

” … the birds their carols raise,
the morning light, the lily white,
declare their maker’s praise …”

All of creation shouting out praises to the Creator.

” … this is my Father’s world:
he shines in all that’s fair;
in the rustling grass I hear him pass;
he speaks to me everywhere …”

Yes he does, for he interrupted my groaning with reminders that his creation is made to praise him.

” … this is my Father’s world.
O let me ne’er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father’s world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad! “

God, our father and the maker of heaven and Earth, is in control.

I looked out over the valley below, looked at the colours of the setting sun painted across the sky, smelled the scent of flowers on a nearby bush, heard the crickets, the birds, the panting of the WonderDog at my side. All of creation singing their praises to the Creator.

That night I was reminded that he is in control, and that we still need, and are able to praise him, though no Earthly solutions are within our view.

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Happily Ever After

Posted in Love, Marriage, WONDER, tagged #happilyeverafter, #itsnevertoolatetolivehappilyeverafter, #marriagetiltheend, #reallifemarriage on June 21, 2016| Leave a Comment »

That common, dreamy, fairy tale ending …

“… and they lived happily ever after.”

As little girls, we were read such stories.

As we grew up, we hoped for our own happily-ever-after futures.

As adults, we sometimes wonder if we will ever get such an ending, or we simply wonder how our life can seem more like existence in the dungeon than living comfortably in the castle.

The thing is, the fairy tales we read are just that, fairy tales. They are not really real, nor do they reveal the rest of the story.

Wouldn’t it be great to find out what Cinderella thought of her mother-in-law? Or how Sleeping Beauty and the Prince survived their colicky babes? Or what Snow White thought of rarely seeing her dwarf friends, because she had royal subjects to tend to first. Or, maybe the prince, from Beauty and the Beast, let his inner beast out making Belle wonder why she ever trusted him?

These dreamy stories last only long enough to whet our romantic appetites, leaving our real lives to sometimes feel like we are thirsting in the desert, rather than drinking from the fountain of love.

“… and they lived happily ever after”

How do we achieve happily ever after in the real world, in real life?

Well … bad news,

as there is no guarantee, there is no formula, and there is no fairy godmother who can wave a wand and create a magical spell to fall upon your reality horror-program-like life.

Marriage is life in the trenches of expectations, dirty diapers, sleepless nights, impossible schedules, difficult times with teens and more bills to pay than pay coming in. Add to that PMS, stress, health issues, and you have a cauldron bubbling with more stank than Shrek ever had in the swamp!

A happily ever after ending does have a common foundation, though. It is that the beginning and the middle anticipate that the ending comes at the end … the end of life as we know it. It is a white knuckled determination to honour, love and stick with your prince/princess no matter what forces attack the drawbridge … even if they come from within!

But it is more than that. It is not enough to simply get to the end together, but is a constant, daily pursuit of a together that goes beyond fulfilling the letter of the law, and into the deep, intimate union of body, mind and soul.

In our real life relationships, we cannot expect this perfect pursuit from our prince/princess every day, but it does need to be the goal … for both parties.

So, lets aim for that happily ever after. We might not make it to the ballroom every night, but at least we will have our gown/tux ever ready in the closet. To aim any lower is to jump for the drawbridge as it’s lifting … never sure if our feet will land safely on the other side.

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The Mystery of Grace

Posted in WONDER, tagged #2corinthians5:21, #annelamott, #ephesians1:7, #themysteryofgrace, #thesacrificeofgod on June 17, 2016| Leave a Comment »

When I wear heels, I feel as though my life might be in danger. Heck, I don’t even feel particularly capable of walking a straight line in flats!

Grace, as in elegant movement, is something I am lacking greatly.

Then there is the grace offered in the New Testament, which J. I. Packer describes this way:

Grace means God moving heaven and earth to save sinners who could not lift a finger to save themselves. Grace means God sending His only Son to descend into hell on the cross so that we guilty ones might be reconciled to God and received into heaven. ‘God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.’ 2 Corinthians 5:21.

That is a grace I have in abundance! Not because of anything that I have done, for that is impossible, but a grace that is personally for me, for all people cloaked in the sacrifice of God, through his son, Jesus.

That is a grace that is far beyond my own understanding, and it lifts me far higher than the stilettos I nervously might try to walk in.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” Ephesians 1:7.

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Happily Haunted Future, Graduate

Posted in GOD, WONDER, tagged #graduating, #growingup, #happilyhauntedfuturegraduate, #romans8, Graduation on June 9, 2016| Leave a Comment »

I recently read a line that said,

“Congratulations, high school graduate … on completing the easiest phase of life.”

I laughed heartily in agreement.

Sometimes, as full fledged adults we forget that the level of ‘difficult’ in life has little to do with what we are going through, and more to do with how we feel, how we cope, whether we succeed or fail.

High school graduation is something worth celebrating.

And it is the season for celebrating just that.

I’ve been thinking about some of those who are graduating this season, and thinking about what I want to share with each of them … but, there are so many of them! So, I have decided to narrow my thoughts to what I would would want to wish for all of them.

Last year, while working in a grade 12 Bible class, the teacher shared something that I believe to be both simple and profound.

“I am saved

I am being saved

I will be saved”

To the high school graduate, moving from the more dependent phase of life, into the more independent phase, I believe you need to have the haunting knowledge that you are loved by the creator of your DNA … (the basis of life). I believe you need to know that that creator has not only created you, not only loves you, but that same creator was, and is, and will never stop redeeming you from all that would keep you from your creator.

Romans 8:38-39 gives us assurance of the power of our creator, God:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

It is that assurance that allows parents the ability (albeit not always eagerly) to let you go off into your life’s adventures (but don’t forget to come back and share your experiences with ol’ mom and dad). It is that assurance that allows new graduates to know that they do not go off into their futures alone.

So, congratulations, high school graduate!

Know that I will be praying for your future to be haunted … by the knowledge of the pursuit of your creator.

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A Grandma’s Prayers

Posted in FAMILY, life, WONDER, tagged #agrandmasprayers, #clothesline, Dreams, gardening, Heritage, Prayer on June 7, 2016| 3 Comments »

The planning, preparations and practise began last summer.

My daughter was desiring to have a vegetable garden and a clothesline.

Both desires sounded great, and so we dabbled our toes into the practises of many generations before us.

A rope was tied between our deck post and a tree, and we both utilized the natural drying and whites-bleaching power of the sun.

We made our veggie purchases and planted them in containers and enjoyed harvesting potatoes, veggies and herbs into the fall.

This spring, we have kicked it up a notch.

Pulleys and clotheline were purchased and (this weekend) installed.

A frame was constructed, filled with soil, and vegetables planted.

These ideas, dreamed in my daughter’s imagination, have come to fruition (hopefully literally in regards to the garden), and I stood back, last night, smiled … and thought of one of my grandmothers.

My memories of her were of quilting, baking bread, hanging laundry on the clothesline and gathering food from from the gardens of her generous neighbours … like the gleaners in the Bible.

She was confident and content. She had her opinions, and was not shy in sharing them. She (in her mid 80s) still picked up ‘the old ladies’ on her street so that they could get to church on Sunday mornings. She made the effort to see her kids and grandchildren, never sitting at home, glumly waiting for them to come to her. She loved to sing in her little church choir … even though she sounded like Lucille Ball. She loved to watch Carol Burnett in hysterical laughter. She loved to have her back scratched. She prayed.

After her husband died at a too young age, I remember having sleep-overs with her, in her fresh-air-smelling bedding. Before the light was turned out, she reached for her Bible and her Daily Bread devotional. She would read the verses appointed for that day, followed by the application in the devotional. Then, we would pray, each of us silent. Me, silently waiting for her to give me a good night hug, signifying the end of our silence. She concentrating seriously as her lips moved silently.

Last night I felt her absence, felt the absence of her faithful prayers for my life, for the lives of those I love.

Yet, the fruit of her prayers continue to ripen, in the lives of those who snuggled by her side in her dried-on-the-clothesline sheets, and those who never knew such delights.

May the harvest of those prayers of dedication and trust continue this summer, and may I be as faithful in my silent prayers … that the best dreams come to fruition.

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The Wonder Dog

Posted in WONDER on May 31, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Last week I shared about Shiloh (Loving the Beast), and today I introduce, Duke, the Wonder Dog.

If you know our family, or have been reading this blog for awhile, you will know that not everyone in our household had a great love for the Beast. It was a love-hate relationship between the Beast and hubby … she loved him, he hated her. But, in her final year, the hate faded away, and a mutual bond was had.

A few weeks after our household was without our Beast, the unexpected happened when hubby said we needed to get another dog.

WAIT A MINUTE! WHO IS THIS MAN? AND WHAT DID HE DO WITH MY HUSBAND?

He even promised to walk it each day!

The hunt began, for a new fur friend. As our kids are all sixteen and up, this time it would not be intended as a pet for our kids, but a companion for hubby and I.

We had one main need … hair, not fur. Hubby had, sacrificially, lived on allergy medication for the better part of the past ten years, and it had to end.

The evening I found Duke, online, at a nearby rescue, and made plans to meet him first thing the next morning.

When I arrived, and introduced myself, the employees laughed. You see, our last name is Wheaton, and Duke is a Wheaten Terrier breed.

I discussed with the manager Duke’s past, personality and requirements. Duke originated from a puppy mill, and came from a loving but busy household. He also had recently bit a biker. That was NOT in our list of ‘musts’.

I took him for a walk. He was rather stand-offish, I was rather fearful. I then returned him, and said I would talk to my hubby.

The next day, I returned with hubby, for a walk. Duke was like a different dog, excited to smell my familiar body. We said we would discuss and get back to them. Two days later, Duke entered our home, excited to sniff, lick and explore every person and thing in his reach.

Duke is not a perfect dog. He can never be off leash, for fear he might bite another person. He has introduced us to the term counter surfing. He loves to use underwear as chew toys (and, recently, an expensive mouth guard). He struggles to invite visitors into our home (though that is improving, thanks to an amazing trainer). He has pooped on one daughter’s bed … twice! (his actions are not helping their relationship!). When excited, his go to is mouthing (open-mouthed teeth on your hand … not biting, but not very friendly). He SNORES!

All that said, he is perfect for us … hubby and I, and he is our dog.

Duke has made his way into the hearts of our family (though one thinks he is rathery). He loves to ecstatically greet us when we come home (known as the Wheaten greeting). He wants to be with us wherever we are, sitting on the couch, laying at hubby’s feet at his desk, watching me cook, hanging out with us as we do yard work (even though he much prefers being indoors).

Hubby would say I chose Duke because I love a redemption story, and I do.

At twenty-six years in, this marriage was in need of a symbol of redemption in our life together. Our kids are living more independently each day, and soon our nest will be empty. We have the scars of mistakes, hurts and offences, the failures to love, honour and care for each other that need, not erasing, but redemption.

At this point in our marriage relationship, we need a symbol of a fresh start, a new phase in our life together.

And so, that is Duke, our symbol of redemption … the one that symbolizes a shared future.

As we work on redeeming the loving puppy from the wild animal, we are doing it together, with our eyes fixed on a common end.

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