extravagance | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘extravagance’

Spa Day

Posted in christmas, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged bitterness, christmas gift, couples massage, extravagance, failure, frustration, gift card, Hubby, joy, luxury, misunderstanding, re-gifting, spa, spa day, therapeutic massage, well-intentions, wild orange spa on January 4, 2013| Leave a Comment »

They say that we give the gifts to others that we want for ourselves, and so I took this to heart this Christmas with regards to gifting for my hubby.

images-2

Years ago … at least six years ago … I had gone that first time to try out a therapeutic massage covered by the health care plan at my work. It was amazing, and I later told hubby of my spa adventure. I am sure that as hubby was hearing my story of extravagant pampering the wheels in his head had him convinced that his annual tradition of ‘failing’ (his word, not mine) when it came to Christmas gifts for his wife, was about to turn to great success.

Although I did enjoy the experience, it was not a very comfortable place for me, as I felt a bit like a fish out of water in an environment of such luxury. From my point of view, once was enough … but I had failed to mention this fact to my very well-intentioned hubby.

So, when Christmas rolled around, a beautifully wrapped, generous gift card to a spa that I had gone to once, and had spoken so glowingly of at my premier visit, was to be my gift from the man who tries so desperately to please.

This lovely, generous, well-intended gift has sat in and on my dresser for at least six years, causing frustration and bitterness every time it would be within view of my guy.

images-1

But no longer would it gather dust.

Weeks before this past Christmas I made the brilliant decision to re-gift hubby’s spa gift card … to him!

I went in to the spa, ensured that the balance of the card was as I had remembered, and booked a couples massage appointment.

So, yesterday, hubby and I went to share in the gift of Christmas past, as well as Christmas present.

Total and complete relaxation, being pampered and cared for in total and complete luxury, convinced me that the spa, not the ‘Magical’ place is the happiest place on Earth!

When we stepped out over two hours later, we both felt refreshed and relaxed. Gone were the years of gift ‘failure’ and feelings of rejection for the unused, unappreciated gift … all were replaced with the joy of sharing in the gift of well-intentions.

And, so often that is our problem when it comes to our relationships … the love and joy get lost in the misunderstanding of the intentions of the other person. We spin our own version of the gift; his that he is a failure, mine that he does not know my heart. But, in being able to share in the gift, to share in the well-intentions of each of us, joy can be shared … together.

In re-gifting to hubby the gift that he had given to me, we were both able to receive the gifts we both wanted most, enjoyment and time together.

Read Full Post »

Extravagant Expectations

Posted in life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Blessing, desires, expectations, extravagance, extravagant, fortune cookie, Freedom, Gift on August 9, 2012| 2 Comments »

It all started with a fortune cookie …

What followed were days of deep contemplation.

As I read it now, I hold back from placing the big ‘L’ for loser sign on my forehead. Of course desires that are not extravagant will be granted! The reality of every fortune cookie (or fortune itself) is that there is enough truth in what it says to make a person believe it as their own special, hand-picked message.

How do we define ‘extravagant’ desires?

For me an extravagant desire might be a pedicure, but for another person, living in another context, three meals a day might be an extravagant desire (and I would suppose that a fortune cookie would not be part of their life).

It is easy to sit in our cozy latte drinking, computer-owning, name brand life, and talk about our non-extravagant desires being granted. But, what is it that makes us think that we should receive what much of our fellow human beings do not?

While away on vacation the two of our three kids, who were with us, had great freedom. We allowed them the freedom to go to the beach, hang out with friends, and be out much later than if we were home. The curfew had been set at 10pm, for a couple of nights. Then, one evening our son requested that he be allowed to stay out later. So, after considering why he made his request, we allowed him another half hour. And, we were thrilled that he honored us, by being back by the time we requested.

The next evening when our son came to check in, telling us of the plans for the evening, he requested 10:30 as a time to return to our room. When we said no to his request he was irate!

“But you let me stay out that late last night!” Was his rebuttal.

With the blessing of one ‘extravagant’ desire granted, it became a ‘not extravagant desire’ for our son. To put it another way, once the gift was given once, it became ‘normal’ and expected.

That was NOT our intent, as parents! We simply intended to provide an evening of exception, whereas he interpreted it as a new expectation.

Our son is no different from ourselves as parents, as adults. Like our son, the blessing of one extravagant desire can become for us a new expectation.

Once we have the exception of a tropical vacation, it becomes an expectation. Once we eat at the high end restaurant, it becomes expectation. Once we get that pedicure as a gift, it becomes the expectation. Once we get a summer off from work, it becomes the expectation of summers to come. Once we experience the blessing of full health coverage, it becomes the expectation in our next job. Once we experience the gift of good health, it becomes the expectation.

These ‘non-extravagant’ desires can go on and on and on.

The problem comes when we stop seeing that which is extravagant, as expectation … when we stop seeing each blessing as the gift it is.

Read Full Post »

Rich Man Poor Man

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged disdain, extravagance, global rich calculator, Jesus, Mark 10, poor, poor man, rich, rich man, Simon Cowell, Story of the wealthy ruler, wealthy on July 3, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I have seen and heard it happen a million times.

A group of church-ie people will be talking together, and someone will enter the room, or a name of someone will come up. The ‘someone’ would be a person of means, a person who is well-to-do, a person of wealth. And the disdainful facial expression of Simon Cowell about to tell a performer his opinion of their lack of talent will get them nowhere in this life, creeps upon someones face.

Now, it is not often that the disdain is specifically pointed towards that person who, unassumingly, walked in the room, but to their wealth.

There will be comments about the person’s new car, or new house, and how very extravagant they are. There will be talk of the vacations they have been on, of the flashy clothes they wear or the ‘toys’ that their children have. And the entire conversation will be laced with disdain.

Just because a person has ‘wealth’ does not mean that they are holding tightly to their wealth, any more than every ‘poor’ Christian gives all that they posses, down to their last ~~mite~~ penny (but not in Canada, as we are doing away with the penny … does that mean we are cent-less?).

I think we have often focused on the story of Jesus and the rich ruler, but we have failed to read it beyond the self-gratifying surface.

In Mark 10:17-27, the story enfolds …

“As he (that would be Jesus) went out into the street, a man came running up, greeted him with great reverence, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?”

(note: the man came to Jesus, showing him “reverence” and respect … “good teacher”)

“Jesus said, “Why are you calling me good? No one is good, only God. You know the commandments: Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, honor your father and mother.””

(note: Jesus is reminding the man of what every Jewish person would have known at that time)

“He said, “Teacher, I have—from my youth—kept them all!”

(note: how often have we all thought that we were ‘keeping them all?”)

“Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him!”

(note: Jesus LOVED him … like He loves us all)

“He said, “There’s one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me.”

(note: Jesus asks for the willingness to do this of all who claim the name of Jesus, and not just the visibly or obviously rich, as later Jesus tells the disciples that this will be asked of all who wish to enter God’s kingdom)

“The man’s face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go.”

(note: there is alot to unpack here! The man did not expect to hear what Jesus said, because, until Jesus came, keeping not just the top ten, but the six hundred and thirteen rules of life and living for a good Jew, was what was expectied. He was holding tightly to a lot of things … sort of like us, rich or poor, with our homes, our vehicles, our grandmother’s ring, our photo albums, our video games, etc. Are we willing to “let go” … of everything?)

“Looking at his disciples, Jesus said, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who ‘have it all’ to enter God’s kingdom?” The disciples couldn’t believe what they were hearing, but Jesus kept on: “You can’t imagine how difficult. I’d say it’s easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye than for the rich to get into God’s kingdom.”

(note: we, in North America, have it ALL! Check out this Global Rich Calculator … I am sure that, like myself, you are in the top 1% of the world’s wealthiest people. Maybe, having it all means that we would have a more difficult time letting go of what we hold tightly?)

“That set the disciples back on their heels. “Then who has any chance at all?” they asked. Jesus was blunt: “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it.””

Note: Anyone who is reading this blog post is wealthy … the only chance that any of us has to enter God’s kingdom, is to let God do the work of changing our lives. We just need to be willing to hold what we have loosely in our hands.