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Flipped

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged Anxiety, choose, fine, flipped, friend, Life, Philippians 6:6-7, Stress, thinking, worry on September 27, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Have you ever felt like ‘anxious’ is the most sincere response you could give to the common question, “how are you today?” I would bet my last dollar (which is the bank’s dollar anyway) that your response to that question was not an honest “anxious” but instead the typical response, “fine” with a sugar-coated smile to complete your fakery. I know this because I have done it too, and I think we all have. It is so very difficult to be honest about the things that we worry and fret about.

Anxiety, worry, fear … those are all common feelings to us all. They can rip at our very being, taking over our every thought, controlling our every moment, and even putting our physical health at risk.

Just last night I read the following:

“Do not be calm about anything,
but in everything,
continuing to grasp at control and busyness,
with an entitled attitude,
keep your worry to yourself.
And the stress and anxiety
that overwhelms and suffocates
will eat away at your
heart, mind and very existence.”

Now I do not know if this is original by my friend Jenn, or if she was quoting someone else, but, it really made me stop, and wonder, is that me? Is that how I, really and truly, live my life? Is that who I am in my most furthest place from “fine”, my truest me?

I asked myself, those questions and quickly replied to myself (yes, I do sometimes converse with myself … there is no mind reading in those conversations), “no, not me” … echos of “fine” ringing in my ears.

Then I thought of the day before;

I was not calm, but I had so much to get done
grasping at control and busyness, but I had to because things needed to get done
with an entitled attitude, but they needed to get done right, and that (of course) meant that I needed to do them!
I kept my worry to myself, but, well, what good does it do to burden someone else with my problems?
my heart, mind and existence were … occupied, full and frazzled … but, but …

What my friend had written was the opposite, or flipped version of one of the most encouraging, strengthening, empowering and freeing messages of God to us in our broken, stress-filled, anxiety-ridden world and lives.

“Do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation,
by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7

Why would we choose to allow:

“the stress and anxiety that overwhelms and suffocates to eat away at our hearts, minds and very existence”

over

“the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus?”

Thank-you Jenn, for flipping my thinking!

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Hearing Voices

Posted in life, women, WONDER, tagged affirmation, building up, Encouragement, fine, hearing voices, hurtful words, insults, Mel Gibson, messages, thoughts, voices, weight, What Women Want on July 25, 2012| 4 Comments »

We women (remember, I cannot speak for ANY male, being female and all), hear voices.

Not only do we hear them, but we actually have conversations going on in our heads every waking hour! That is why when we respond with any of the following, there is more going on in our heads than the one or two word response we give to the men in our lives.

For example:
Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means “something” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.
Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON’T DO IT!
Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Men, if you could only ‘hear’ what is going on in our minds when we use any of those words, in response to what you might have said to us … (for more understanding check out “What Women Want” starring Mel Gibson … I say this very guardedly, as some of it’s content is beyond the ‘PG’ rating of my blog posts 😉 ).

It is said that it takes anywhere from five positive things to cancel one negative to two positive things to cancel that same negative. No matter what the stat is, it takes more positive messages than negative to break even.

For a woman there are so many voices that are heard that can cause self-doubt, frustration, discouragement and embarrassment.

The voices stay there, in our heads, forever.

Most women can remember something that someone said to them when they were still a preschooler, that still speaks to them.

Most women will struggle to truly believe “I love you” from anyone who spoke hurtful words to them … and when “I love you” is said, they immediately hear the hurtful words in their heads.

Most women who have heard someone say something about a part of their body, will immediately look to that body part in a mirror, and hear it said again.

Most women who struggle with issues related to weight (either too much or too little) are still struggling with a message that was conveyed to them as a child.

Most women who hate men, feel that way because a male in their life (usually a father, sadly) has spoken words that have torn her down in the past, instead of built her up.

Most women who have been hurt by words, have been hurt by the words of other women.

With all of this in mind, whenever you are in the presence of a woman who you care for (whether you are male or female), speak words of affirmation, encouragement, appreciation … help tip the balance in the direction of building a woman up, and giving her new voices to hear.

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