Tonight is the night for spooky costumes, trick or treaters and more candy received than dentists would ever desire people to eat.
I have endearing memories of being at my grandmother’s house on Halloween night, helping her to hand out candy (and hoping she didn’t hand it all out, because I was more than willing to take it all off of her hands).
I remember her holding the candy hostage until the spooky visitor told her their name, and whether or not they lived on her her road (and, sometimes, who their parents were). She loved this opportunity to get to know her little neighbours.
I remember those dressed up like cute butterflies, pirates, firefighters and princesses. Then there were the ones that were taller, older, and had masks that completely hid their identity from us. Those were the ones that I felt more fearful and hesitant about letting into my grandmother’s home.
But, after my grandmother would ask her questions, once we knew it was the teen from the farm next door, or so-and-so’s grandson, or a stranger who slipped off their mask to smile and introduce themselves, all was well.
You see, the mask they were wearing was not who they really were, and once that mask was off, or the wearer identified, relationship entered the picture.
But, that was not the sole responsibility of the wearer of the mask.
You see, in my ignorance, I had pre-judged the individuals before my grandmother got to them. I saw them as scary, a threat, and I was wrong.
Last week I was wrong about someone, and I love it when I am wrong!
At the beginning of the school year I met dozens of students for the first time, and without intending to, I pre-judged them, according to their words and body language.
One student, in particular, I pre-judged as one who would not accept help, who felt they did not need help, who felt they did not need a learning support block.
In the past few weeks, I have seen a change akin to the metamorphic changes leading to the emergence of a butterfly from it’s cocoon. This student has accepted assistance, worked collaboratively with another student, and has even asked for help in understanding the next unit in a subject.
I was so wrong! And I am so glad.
So, was I just wrong? I don’t think so.
You see, what changed was that, in the beginning, I judged only from what I saw and heard. Much like the trick-or-treaters, when they first walked into my grandmothers house. It was not until I asked questions, in order to get to know this student, that I began to understand who this student really was … on the inside … under the mask that we all wear.
Relationship is what makes the difference in knowing and understanding people.
She was a woman who was active in her neighborhood, her church and her family, and she saw Halloween night as an opportunity to see how much the children in the neighborhood had grown since the Halloween before. No trick-or-treat-er was given a smidgen of candy until they had revealed their name, and where they lived. And if they were not from her neighborhood, they got less candy! Plus, once she shut the door, she would grumble about the “nerve of those outsiders, coming to take all our candy from the mouths of the local children.” Ah Gram, and she had an opinion about older trick-or-treat-ers too.
by the same whiny, high pitched fake voice. My personal favorite mask was one of Casper the Ghost. It was similar to the one to the left, distinct enough to know who it was, but friendly looking.
Halloween is, at the very least, an odd celebration. Children dress up (that is not odd), go to the homes of strangers (children are generally taught to not speak to strangers), and say trick-or-treat (threatening their neighbors) as a means of getting free candy (back to the ‘stranger danger’ point from earlier, then add on the taking candy from strangers which we do not want little children to do).
itsawonderfilledlife 