So, I volunteered to share my story at a young adults small group tonight (what was I thinking?), and now I feel like there is something fluttering in my tummy!
The reason I volunteered is that I did it once, about two and a half years ago, and wanted a ‘redo’ because I had blown it so badly the first time around.
I had gotten discouraging news the day before, and I was an emotional, tear-leaking mess. My thoughts strayed from my desired message of how God has worked in my life, to how would God make beauty from the ashes sitting in my heart this time. My shell … the facade that I had always worked so hard to put forward, was cracked and I was unsure if all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could ever put it back together again.
And … I am so glad that they couldn’t.
Since that time I started to wear a new face … my own.
The people-pleasing person I had worked hard to be all of my life was being replaced by a woman who decided to give a good hand at being real.
This new face, the real me, is not finished. I am SO very still in process. God seems to be continually molding and shaping my heart and mind and soul into something new.
It sounds exciting, right?!
Not so much.
This refining process hurts. Pieces of my facade are still be chiseled away. Purifying sometimes leaves one feeling as though they cannot catch their breath. Refining is often done with fire, and the burns are painful. And then there is the scar tissue … oh, how long it takes for the scar tissue to fade away … and some scars never disappear.
As much as the refining process hurts, it is exciting too. Pain often reminds us that we are still alive (even if it hurts so much we might despair of life itself 2 Corinthians 1:8).
Being real takes less energy, makes your face to glow, and is far easier than playing the part of someone who you are not.
And that is what I am hoping to share with the young adults tonight.
Wow! Imagine if they were able to start living now as the real people that God has created them to be! What a meaningful, purpose-filled, God-inspired life they would live.
“Is written about having a realization that the majority of the problems in my life come from me trying to play a role that i was never intended to play. Whether it’s trying to control a situation in my life, or control a person or manipulate something, and realizing how freeing it is to just sit back and allow God to be the one who writes the story, allow god to be the healer in the relationships … His place is God and my place just as his child, it’s been a really freeing thing for me.” Laura Story – On Writing the Song I Can Just Be Me
itsawonderfilledlife 