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Posts Tagged ‘#insomnia’

It doesn’t matter how tired I am, time off always means that I struggle to get to sleep on the eve of my first day off. My brain is whirling a twirling around, trying to come up with a way to squeeze everything I have been dreaming of doing in the days and weeks leading up to the break.

One would think, at my age, I might have grown beyond this sort of anticipation, but alas I still spend my first night tossing and turning, counting sheep, cows and kittens and trying every trick in my getting to sleep book!

In my over-excitement of what is to come, I lost out on the sleep, the rest that my body and mind so needed.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Sometimes we (okay, I) think that the (above) text has to do with the fearful anxieties that take over our minds, but we can also be excited to the point of anxiousness … to the point that our excitement and anticipation can take over our thoughts wholly, interrupting a healthy balance in our lives.

The apostle Paul, in this clip from a letter to the Philippians, reminds us all that prayer is the key to peace in any and every situation. That this peace will be out of this world (perhaps even allowing sleep to come to us).

According to Paul:

Prayer is the conduit to peace.

Though I remembered this truth after the fact, it is one I need to remember.

When my anxious thoughts are on the dire, the sad, the fear-laden, the dark and twisty things of life … I always remember to take them to God in prayer.

But, when my heart and head are full of joy and excitement that bubbles over, filling my thoughts only of what I anticipate, I am slow to remember to share those joy-filled thoughts with Him.

Perhaps, if I did, I would sleep in a heavenly peace.

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A tired and sleepless night …

How can one be so exhausted that their eyes burn, even when closed?

Yet … sleep evades.

The mind races in directions and to places that … how and why does it go there?

And you toss, and you turn and you wonder why? why can sleep not take you away to that place of rest and refreshment?

And your body is tense, it aches with exhaustion, only encouraging more and more tossing and turning with nary a place that provides a position to loosen, relax.

And the man next door (the next pillow over) is tossing and turning too, or snoring … either way, the noises and movements jar you from the entry of sleep’s door.

And so you pray (because, why not). Yet your prayers lead your mind to even more places and you begin to feel as though your mind might explode for all the places it is wandering in these wee morning hours.

And you rise from your place of no sleep … wandering, trying a cozy chair (devoid of present coziness), the sofa (with the attractive, but not so pillowy, pillows). In frustration you recline, close your eyes …

wet … my fingers are wet …

My eyes open into the stare of my furry buddy, to the lightening of the room. I smile, not because I am rested, but because I am glad it is over that light has come, that there is one nearby to lick my weariness …

day has come, the long, dark night is over.

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