When I grow up I want to be a ….
That question always flashes me to my mother singing that famous song by Doris Day;
“Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be”
From an early age we ask little ones what they want to be when they grow up. Usually they respond, a fireman, a teacher, a nurse, a policeman, a mommy. As these children grow up and enter school they are exposed to so many more future possibilities; a paleontologist, a librarian, a janitor (all those keys), a doctor, a bee keeper. Then they hit high school, and the possibilities seem endless.
What do I want to be?
Through the years I have wanted to be a mommy, a teacher, a nurse, a special needs assistant, an architect, a doctor, a counselor, and a writer (with a really good editor, who could deal with my poor grammar).
At thirty-nine (with four years experience) I am still asking myself that question. I have had tasks, jobs and titles that have paid the bills and fed my soul. I have worked as a Draftsman, an office assistant, a residential care aide, and an educational assistant.
As our kids are becoming older, I find myself asking that question now again, with the same unknowing vision of the future.
My most favorite jobs so far have been stay-at-home mom, (approaching it as a serious job, with no soaps and bon bons for me) and working with students as an Educational Assistant. But, I can see the nest emptying in the next few years, as our kids ‘get a life’ of their own. I also recognize that I have gone as far as I can in my ‘paid’ profession, and wonder if it can sustain me and my undiagnosed ADD for another twenty years or more.
I really do not know what to do, but I know that whatever I will BE is already there.
Who we will be, who we are, has far more to do with our character than our education and skills set. Who we are is a combination of our strengths and weaknesses, past accomplishments and failures, our beliefs and how we put them into practice. Who we are is foundational in discovering how to best use the passions and abilities we have within us.
So, now what?
“Whatever will be will be, will be … que Sera, Sera”
itsawonderfilledlife 