Teenagers | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘Teenagers’

Life is Fragile

Posted in WONDER, tagged blessed, inhaling their scent, Life, life is a miracle, life is fragile, life is short, love in action, Mom, Pregnancy Loss, Teenagers on March 18, 2013| 3 Comments »

As I write this post my fatigue has tossed my adrenalin into the sea of forgetfulness.

I am sitting on an airplane, just one hour from my southeast destination, and almost seven from when I boarded a plane with two of my children, in the Pacific Northwest.

I have personally had only about an hours rest in the past twenty-four hours, and I am weary beyond words.

My daughter and son have finally found rest … One slumped over at the window, and the other weighing heavily on my shoulder.

As the adrenalin has faded away, as planning and packing and preparations have given way to fulfillment of our plans, my thoughts have turned to how very fragile life is. greeting-card-flower-life-is-fragile2

In recent days, as I have become aware of the death of a gentle man, of the tragedy of preschoolers left in life without a mommy and a daddy, of the heartbreak of a couple (and all their family) dealing with the news that the dreams of health and long life that they have had for their yet born baby will not be as dreamed …

the high levels of adrenalin have not allowed these events to pierce my heart …

until now.

Life is fragile.

Having had these two children of mine lay their heads on my shoulder in as many hours, turning towards the tops of their heads, inhaling the scents that are uniquely their own, reminiscing in my mind of the many times we have traveled together since their births, fatigued, frustrated and even infected by flu bugs …

I remember

how very blessed I am,
how very short life is.
how very fragile life is.

According to every source I checked (there were many), women under 35 years only have a 20-30% chance of conceiving each month, and about half of all conceptions end in miscarriage (most before the woman knows that she is pregnant).

I remember the agonies of losses of little, yet born babies, I remember vowing that those losses would not be in vain. I remember promising each of our children as I held them in my arms in different hospitals, in different cities, even different provinces, that I would not forget how very blessed I am to have the chance to be their mom …

that ‘mom’ would be more than a noun,
a title,
that mom would be a verb,
ACTION.
That I would not just ‘be called’ mom
I would be mom to them …
mom in action
LOVE in action.

As our newborns grow up to independent thinking teenagers, we forget to inhale, and drink in the scent that is uniquely theirs. We forget how just holding their newborn body in our arms brought us to tears, how the sight of their smile made us smile, how nothing mattered more to us than protecting our babies.

As parents of teenagers we need to get physically close enough to drink in that scent, we need to hold them close, we need to look at them, and smile … we need to protect our kids.

Or maybe, if we hold them close, if we can be still enough to be brought to tears just by holding them in our arms, if we smile at them … every day, maybe that will be a protective barrier around them, around their hearts.

Life is a miracle!

Life is fragile.

Love in action!

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A Teenager in The House

Posted in life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Ben, Birthday, birthday boy, Football, Growing Up, teen, Teenagers, thirteen, Yamin, zits on October 10, 2012| 2 Comments »

Today marks the end of an era in our home, as our youngest turns thirteen, and we now have four teenagers in the house (plus one on the East Coast). I am now a mother who looks up to everyone under my roof! I am no longer Mummy or Momma, but Mom or hey you! Or, I am the nameless one, only addressed by request, “I need …” “can you …” “I’m hungry …” etc.

Gone are the days of Thomas the train, picture books and after school snuggles. The era of ‘childhood’ is gone from our abode and has been replaced by zits, excessive sleep, numerous showers, unpredictable vocal octaves, searches for facial hair and empty milk jugs. It might be time to re-enter the world of stock trading … I see a rise coming in dairy, deodorant and Dove body wash!

Thirteen years! How time flies. No longer do his older sisters fight over him, or dress him like a doll, now they give him hair and fashion advise.

I now get a daily glimpse of what his dad might have been like at this age, as they look and act so very much alike. They share a love of football, that provides father-son bonding on the field four times a week (and numerous more in front of the tube). They watch sporting events, share a love of history, politics and SUBWAY.

When I found out we were expecting this (now) teenager, I said it HAD to be a boy, because with two daughters I would need a son who would still talk to me when the teens and excessive estrogen hit our girls, and the mother-daughter relationships were strained. What I didn’t realize was that he would need me too, as the added testosterone coursing through him can make for predictable head-butting with the other man (men) in the house.

Years ago, when Ben (the birthday boy) would come home from school, beaten by the day, I would hold him, and repeat, over and over;

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you …

Sometimes now, he will wrap his arms (that are too long for his body) around my shoulders, pat my head (I think it is just so as to give him the satisfaction of being that tall) and repeat it back to me.

Ben, you are the gift from God, that I prayed for. I love our conversations about Minecraft, dubstep music, science fiction and fantasy movies, and theology. I love that you have a desire to understand how and why things are as they are, and how they work. I love that you understand that the past plays a role in the future (in your own life, and in history). I love that you care about the souls of those around you. I love that you are unashamed of the God who designed, created and forgives you.

I love too that you are human. Like us all, you fail, you mess up, you blow it … and you feel remorse after the fact. Do not forget that the remorse you feel can lead you back to the place of mercy, grace and forgiveness … every time, no matter how far you fall.

Remember too, the best theme of any story is redemption 😉 .

Love you ‘Yamin.’

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Brand New Hormones

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Brand New Hormones, Growing Up, High School, Hormones, Puppy Love, School, Teen Love, Teenagers, Teens on January 16, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I get to work in a high school … yes, I said “get to”! I also get to work in a few of the classes that my daughter takes.

I have a motherly fondness for many of her friends. Many have been at our home, driven in our vehicles to various events, slept over, made cookies in our kitchen, been cheered on at basketball games by me, and attended countless birthday parties.

I struggle at school with the boys and the girls, and their brand new hormones. I find I watch and listen, and just want to … gag!

I do realize that they are just ‘test driving’ their new thoughts, feelings and awareness. I realize that what they are going through is so very normal and necessary in that age old process known as ‘growing up’. I just wish our society, our culture, did not encourage this process to become so all absorbing all at once.

The girls looking at the boys, and even the boys drooling over the girls can be cute or, as they might say, ‘adorbs’. It is a process of an awakening within them that is starting to burst out into their daily lives. Truly, it is a wonderfilled time in their lives. But, as they grow and mature, their hormones are NOT the best, or the only thing in their lives.

This is also a very important time in their lives for learning, in an academic sense. As important, if not more so at this phase of their lives, is the development and nurture of friendships. This is a great time of life for shooting hoops, all night chat sessions, playing games, dancing to music, and other activities that are surrounded by the peers who a teen calls friends.

My hubby is brilliant (yes, I said that in writing), and that was confirmed for me when he worked as a youth pastor. When a pair of teens in the youth group would start dating he would take them out to lunch, and his conversation with the couple would start with the same question every time, “you WILL break up, and when you do, how will it affect your relationships at youth?” And he was right, because about 98-99% of teen couples do not end up in a lifelong relationship. Should teens invest the majority of their teen years in relationships that are, at best, temporary?

Hubby was really brilliant a number of years ago, as well, when he told our preschool daughter that if she chose to not date in high school, he would buy her a car. This was her choice, not ours! We told her that our hope for her was that she spend her teen years focusing on friends and school, and we were willing to put wheels where our mouth was. But, we left the choice in her hands.

This fall when our eldest daughter got her car, her sister and brother realized that the deal (that we had offered them, as well) was good. All of a sudden, the story they had heard all of their lives, was in view with a happy ending.

And it is a happy ending, beyond the car, because if they take our challenge, they can look back on their high school years as ones of friendship and learning, and those are things that they can take, 100%, into adulthood with them.

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