Wedding | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘Wedding’

Love is …

Posted in WONDER, tagged 1 Corinthians 13, experienced, Love, love chapter, Love is, Marriage, self-seeking, the greatest of these, Wedding on June 25, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Sitting at a wedding recently, the ‘love chapter’ was read.

1 Corinthians 13 is a pretty common passage read at weddings, after all a wedding is all about love, and this passage certainly fits the bill.

There is a portion of the reading that always catches my ear, my thoughts …

“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”
(v. 4-7)

Whenever I hear those words read at a wedding ceremony, my ‘experienced’ married brain of twenty-three plus years, thinks, ‘they have no idea what love is, no idea how difficult it will be to keep loving.’

Now I don’t mean to be so negative at such a special event. It’s just that … well, after twenty-three plus years in the marital trenches I understand that soon the firing will start and both of those individuals who ‘love’ each other will be experiencing what it is to be shell shocked.

Let’s unpack this!

“Love is patient,
Other than the fashionably late bride, has there really been much practice of patience before they say ‘I do’?

love is kind.
Being kind might be more difficult when he is sick, and she is PMS’ing (so I’ve heard).

It does not envy,
What happens when one is experiencing great success at their career, and the other is experiencing a time of stagnation?

it does not boast,
Sometimes this is heard in phrases like, “my mom makes much better turkey stuffing” or “my dad always filled the gas tank for my mom.”

it is not proud.
“my chair,” “my remote,” “my chocolate,” “my money,” “my body” … just put ‘my’ in front of it and you’ve got pride.

It does not dishonor others,
They have not had time to tell their private stories, of the other, to their girlfriends, their guy friends.

it is not self-seeking,
Lets face it, in the beginning, a relationship is truly born out of self-seeking. They meet the needs of each other, and it is in the meeting of needs that their attraction for the other grows. The difficulty is that we often ignore this part of the passage, as soon as it is said. When, in realty, it should be on our lips, and in our minds from sun up ’til bedtime at night. I really believe that if we can drop self-seeking in the early days, we might have a better chance of staying together. How many couples, years (or months) after the marriage say, “but, they don’t meet my needs anymore …”?

it is not easily angered,
On the wedding day, it is easier to not be easily angered … there has been no anniversary to forget, or in laws to insult.

it keeps no record of wrongs.
This is sooooo much easier in the beginning, when there has not yet been enough time to have wronged each other, when there is so little baggage to make you say things like, “but, you always do …”

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
At the beginning of a marriage both individuals are filled with hope for the future (otherwise why would they do it?), they are not anticipating the negative, the nasty.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”
These are the optimistic four! Can the couple keep protecting, trusting, hoping … can the couple persevere through all of the stuff of real, honest to goodness living together … ’til death do them part?

I’m not saying a newly married couple knows nothing of love, just that newly married love is often untested, untried. It is only as the years pass that love will really be defined and purified in how they love each other …

and the greatest of these (faith, hope and love) is …

love.

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Marriage

Posted in WONDER, tagged adam and eve, berith, coming together, covenant, Genesis, Jefferson and Alysson Bethke, Marriage, mawwiage, the princess bride, Wedding on April 9, 2013| 1 Comment »

mawwiage The BEST wedding clip of all time:

Once you have watched that clip, it simply stays with you forever … and changes every wedding ceremony thereafter.

When God first instituted marriage in Genesis, between Adam and Eve, there was no ceremony, no reception, and no government participation (there was no government).

“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
Genesis 2:20-25

Marriage is a covenant, and the Hebrew word for it, berith, means a coming together. It is a vow between a man, a woman and God. It is a covenant that God values so much, that He uses marriage to explain His love and promise to His people, how he sees the church, and His promises to each of us as believers. It is the oldest institution in history.

The following video is from the wedding reception of Jefferson and Alyssa Bethke. Jefferson may look familiar to you because he is a popular spoken word poet with many videos on YouTube. Feel free to watch it all, but it is at 2:00 that Jefferson describes who invented marriage (God), and who it is about (not us). He also describes the biggest wedding yet to come.

“Mawwiage.

Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today”

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The Road Trip and The Chartreuse Moose

Posted in The Hubby, WONDER, tagged bored, cafe, desert, disgusting bathrooms, driving, gluten-free, pee break, road trip, The Chartreuse Moose Cafe, undiagnosed ADD, valley, Wedding on July 17, 2012| Leave a Comment »

A road trip was the goal for hubby and I.

Well … not really. The goal was for hubby to officiate the marriage of a wonderful lady, and her knight in shining armor.

This lady has been through quite a life so far. Her marriage being over forty years after her birth, and just over eleven years after her life was almost ended in a tragic accident.

But, enough of THEIR story, let me tell you about the road trip of hubby and I.

First you have to know how very much hubby loves road trips. There are days that we will be driving to a destination near our home when he will say, “it would be so great to just keep going.” He lives with a strong sense of wanderlust when it comes to road trips.

He also has a bit of a need for speed, and that is all I will say on that subject (or my laptop might get taken away 😉 ).

The drive included a ‘pee break’ at one of the very few places to stop (okay, there were a number, but there were few that I would choose to sit my derriere down at). It was … interesting. Okay, wretched might be more the accurate description. It was interesting though, as reading the wall of the bathroom provided for me a biography of someone named Pam, and her yearly loves encapsulated by a heart.

Our driving from the Lower Mainland towards 100 Mile House provided for us sites like the amazing canyon of the Fraser Valley, then desert, then enough conifers to make ‘environmentally responsible’ artificial Christmas trees, seem ridiculous. We did get to see a group of Mountain Goats, but, much to my disappointment there were no bears or moose to see. After a couple of hours of driving with no wildlife to gawk at, my undiagnosed ADD was running rampant.

We stopped at a tourist booth that provided a map of the area, including advertisements of local businesses. This occupied my pea-sized brain for a good … five minutes (I did try to drag my interest out longer, to no avail).

The business that made me giggle, and gave me something to focus on for the remainder of the drive (about one more hour … minus the five minutes I had spent reading those advertisements), was called the Chartreuse Moose Cafe.

I thought it was simply such a funny name for a cafe, that I just had to go there.

Chartreuse is a color where a bit of yellow is added to green, or a bit of green added to yellow. But, Chartreuse is also a French made liqueur, of that same color, so I will stick with the color being the background to the cafe’s name. And a moose, of course is an enormous, wild animal, that you do not want to meet while on foot or while speeding along the highway (unless, of course, you are like me and desire some visual stimulation).

Whatever unexplainable reason for my interest, I could not wait to get there!

We did finally get there, and what a diamond in the rough it was! In a town with more Ski-Doo and boat selling businesses than grocery stores, this place was a real find.

It’s mango smoothie was delightfully refreshing, and it’s menu included a vast assortment of gluten-free eats and treats for those with more tender tummies. They also had amish oatmeal bars that were a meal in themselves, and delicious London Fogs (yes, we returned the next day).

The couple did get married, completed by a roosters crowing, and it was a spectacular day for them, their family and friends (plus they had a very hot pastor officiate 😉 ).

Our drive back home through the canyon was quick and, thankfully, mostly by the light of day. And if we ever get back to 100 Mile House, we will definitely be stopping by the Chartreuse Moose Cafe again.

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Forever Scarred

Posted in life, Love, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Committments., Forever, Future, Impression, Leonard Cohen, Love, Marriage, Past, Permanent, Present, Scarred, Scars, Vows, Wedding on January 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Impressions come in many forms. There are the impressions we make on others, either by how we look, or act, or how we make them feel. There are also impressions, like the ones that imprint a physical lasting mark, like a tattoo or a scar.

I have an impression, a scar, on my left ring finger. It is an indelible impression, one that will never go away, one that is permanent.

Over a year ago I noticed a frustratingly itchy rash on my ring finger, the ring finger where I wore my wedding ring. I figured the best was to alleviate the non-stop irritation was to remove my wedding ring.

Sure enough, it worked! Not over night, but eventually (and with the use of a good healing cream), the rash and it’s nasty irritation were gone.

But, I have yet to return to wearing my wedding band. I had gotten out of the habit of wearing it, and that is really saying something, because, other than the few times I was in a hospital, I had never removed my wedding ring (night or day) since my husband placed it on my finger, over twenty-two years ago.

Now, over a year after removing it, there is an impression of that ring still visible on my finger.

It has faded a bit, but only slightly. I have been altered by the symbol of the vow I made all those years ago. It is a permanent scar, forever there to remind me of that vow I made with my words.

That is what the impression of a scar does, it reminds us. It can remind us of when we were a child and suffered a deep wound. A scar reminds us of the surgery that may have saved our life. A scar reminds us of pain.

But a scar, like the one on my ring finger, can also remind us of the hope of a new life with someone, of dreams fulfilled, and ones yet to happen. It can remind us of overcoming pain, of beating struggles, of memories made, and secrets shared and children shared, and a sense of oneness with another that can only be shared by two who bear the same scars.

One of these days I will pull that gold band back out (or maybe hubby will) and place it back on my finger. Until then, there is a permanent scar, an indelible impression that reminds me every day of the past, and the present, and the future to come.

“Children show scars like medals.

Lovers use them as secrets to reveal.

A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.”

Leonard Cohen

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Wedding Day Memories

Posted in life, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Anniversary, Life, Marriage, Memories, Wedding, Wedding Day Memories, Wonder on September 30, 2011| 3 Comments »

Memories are funny things. There are some details of the past that we remember, and other details are forgotten forever.

Twenty-two years ago today I went to a high school football game. My brother was playing on one of the teams, and my fiance was coaching that same team. It was a perfect autumn day … the sun shining brightly, the air crisp, the leaves on the trees in the early stages of turning from bright green to hues of gold and red. It is a day I remember so well, because it was the day of the biggest argument of our dating relationship … the day before our wedding.

I have no idea what we were arguing about, I can only remember the intensity of the emotions I felt. Obviously, whatever it was that had vexed us was resolved, and the following day I met him at the end of the aisle, where we traded in our individual lives for a future together.

The memories of our wedding day decrease with each passing year. If there are this many fewer memories after twenty-two years, will I even remember that I am married in twenty-two more?

But, what I do remember are the vivid broad strokes of our day.

I remember that our wedding started late, and it wasn’t because I was trying to be fashionably late … our soloist was flying into New Brunswick from Toronto, and his flight was late.

I remember that the pastor we had to marry us thought he was at a preach-a-thon … he spoke for about an hour after the processional, before actually marrying us.

I remember that my mother in law wore gray … much cheerier than the black that her mother wore at her wedding.

I remember that, as I looked at my groom awaiting me at the end of the aisle, he was gray (like his mother’s dress), and looked as though he might pass out … so much for the groom’s look of awe at the brides glowing beauty …

So, not all memories are so sweet 😉 but, alas, my memories of our wedding day were also not all so depressing.

I remember a twinge of regret as my dad ‘gave me away’ to my groom.

I remember how confident I felt as I repeated my vows, and said ‘I do.’

I remember that when my groom slipped his ring (a most simple band) on my finger I could not imagine a more wonderful, a more exquisite piece of jewelery in the world.

I remember gladly signing my name on the marriage license.

I remember driving off to our honeymoon (a trip, by car, of over 3000 miles … one way … and hubby wonders why I have little interest in road trips), reliving the details of the day, together.

The memories of that day fill my mind and my heart at times like this, when we remember and celebrate our corporate survival, and our hope of many years to come.

Happy Anniversary Hubby