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Archive for September 15th, 2011

Hi, my name is Carole, and I am a control freak. For those who know me, you did not need  for me to admit it in such a formal, public way to know how true my statement is.

Yes, I like to do things ‘my way’. Yes I like to be the final word. Yes I have been known to pick out my hubby’s clothes (he ignores my choices of course … did I mention I am, perhaps, not the only control freak in my house?). Yes, I have been known to take the toilet paper roll off and put it back on (the right way), and I have repositioned dishes in the dishwasher, and I have re-folded towels that hubby folded (the wrong way), and so on, and so on, and so on.

And those are only the examples that were right on the top of my head (and I would admit to publicly). Imagine how much more I could tell if I actually took time to think about it?!

Being a control freak is easy, being aware of it is humbling, trying to live and think differently … not so easy.

I wonder, did it come from nature or nurture? I am an ‘oldest’ child, and being in control is a trademark of the oldest child. But, maybe it is also part of my innate personality, and will be impossible to completely exterminate.

However I developed these control freak habits, there are ones that I want to make sure are not controlling me, and making me into someone that even I would despise (kind of sounds like I want to control the control freak within me … where will it stop? I really do need professional help! Now I am controlling the controlling part of me? But, I digress).

One of the trademarks of a control freak is not just having things go their way, but being the one who is ‘right’ in conversations. This is NOT a good characteristic for someone who wants to have friends! For someone with a strong controlling nature, biting ones tongue may be the only cure (if, of course, you can attain the forethought to bite at the right time … ha!ha!ha! ‘at the right time’ … get it? A control freak thinks they are always right … but, I digress … again).

But maybe, rather than causing life-long lacerations on your tongue, there is another way. How about repeating over, and over, and over again in your head … ‘what is more important, being right, or my relationship with the person I am talking with?’ Wow! That hits in the gut, now doesn’t it? But it works! When I remember that question, I find that my conversations are far more kind, far more fair. I find I hear more, speak less, and think of the persons heart and soul over my need to be … right.

Imagine, a control freak beginning to see that someone else is more important that their need to be right … what a concept! This could change a person, this could change a family, a workplace, a community … the world … But, the most important change is that of the heart, of a cold, cruel control freak.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverb 15:1

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