itsawonderfilledlife

” … and you laugh so hard you hope they always remember”
Ann Voskamp

Although Mother’s Day is now past, I am still in a maternally reflective mood.

I figure the day after Mother’s Day is the day when I get to start over again. The slate is clean, and I can once again vie for the Mother of the Year Award … of course I will lose it again by nightfall, but here’s dreaming.

Pondering motherhood is different at different stages of life.

When you are not yet a mother, it might scare you to bits, or excite you crazily.

When you are trying to achieve motherhood, it can be all consuming.

When you are pregnant … well, it may scare you to bits, or excite you crazily. Either way, everything looks differently to you.

When your child is born (or placed in your life by adoption), your world is turned up-side-down, and has spun off its axis. The magnitude of responsibility you hold in your arms becomes reality. You think you can never love anyone this much (until you have another child). Every other thing you do in live is less important. You are immediately less important.

Over time, the weight of the responsibility of motherhood can diminish other parts of us. We can get so concerned that they are clean, do their homework, eat their veggies, be kind to all people, and wear clean underwear (everyday), that we become goal focused, and lost out on one of the most important facets of parenting …

laughing together.

When I am cold with the emptiness of life’s breath, I do not want (nor do I expect) my kids to say,

“wasn’t it great that she cooked a variety of vegetables, so that we could each have something we liked?”

NO!

I want them to remember deep, belly laughs. I want them to remember joy. I want them to remember that I could forget my adulthood long enough to giggle in the quiet of church, to joke about putting a full dog poo bag in people’s mailboxes, to have tears of silliness falling from my face, when recalling the ridiculous events of our days.

I want them to remember that I laughed, and that they can remember laughing with me … that they always remember that.