As the plane began pulling from the terminal gate I realized that I am beginning a new stage, a new way of life …
learning to live with the grief of great loss.
Just a month ago I sat with a number of women, all but two of us having experienced the loss of a parent … I sat and thought how I must not waste time, must not take this time for granted. The next day I mentioned to hubby that we must make trips back to our childhood homes and families more frequently, more intentional.
I have listened to enough people going through grief, that I have (so far) not held back about how I feel … laughing when I feel like laughing as well as giving my tears equal freedom to fall freely when they break through the dams.
That means I will probably be writing about grief freely, as well.
I have heard, while sitting with others, that grief does not fade, does not ever leave. You simply learn to live with it’s presence, it’s permanent mark.
Grief is now a part of me … now I need to learn how to wear it.
This new look is not visible when we look into the mirror, we cannot dress it up, we cannot remove it. It is more like a bruising, a trauma to our soul that goes everywhere we go, shadows our thoughts, surfacing out of nowhere, like a charley horse in our calf in the middle of the night, demanding our attention to it’s discomfort.
“The people we most love do become a physical part of us, ingrained in our synapses, in the pathways where memories are created.” – Meghan O’Rourke
One of my favorite movies is Meet Joe Black. The clip, below, (at 1:45) is about the letting go of physical life and all that is part of it. It is the final line, spoken by Anthony Hopkins character, William Parrish, that is a great reminder of the reality of death:
“And that’s life… what can I tell you.“
This sorrow, this grief that we carry after a great loss … it is part of life. To live life, while carrying the grief of death is one of the paradoxes of being human.
And that’s life… what can I tell you.
William Parrish : It’s hard to let go, isn’t it?
Joe Black : Yes it is, Bill.
William Parrish : And that’s life… what can I tell you.
itsawonderfilledlife 