itsawonderfilledlife

The best view comes after the hardest climb …

I was sitting recently, reflecting on the hills, the mountains of the recent years. Of having stumbled in the valley. Now, having reached the end of those valleys, having reached the summit of the mountain climb I have seen the most beautiful views … the sweat and tears still not yet completely wiped away.

For a moment there was a lull … an awkward silence …

So, I filled the void with whispered thanks … thanks for the companionship, thanks for the peace that passed all of my human understanding, thanks for reaching down a hand to lift me up, for pushing me further when I cried that I couldn’t do it anymore.

God saw me through the steep climb up the mountain, through the wandering in the valley, through the hot, dry desert.

I, most sincerely, was thankful, filled to the brim with gratefulness, gratitude.

But …

it was back … the lull, the pause …

and fear crept into the corners and crevices, whispering

now what?

For a moment the beauty of my mountaintop experience was shadowed by the absence of a goal, a destination … a struggle that comes with a rush of adrenalin that makes blood pump through our veins, dilates our pupils … reminding us how much we need help … God.

So …

now what?

That’s my question, the one that I am wrestling … wrestling like Jacob wrestled with God … with himself.

For the next while, I am going to process my now what question, my wrestling match, and I am going to share here what I am learning, the process that God would seem to be leading me through.

But I have to be really, really honest … I don’t read the last page, the last chapter of a book … nor do I know where this process is going to end up.

But, I know this … I am trusting God to reveal his will, his plan … I also know that God goes before, behind and alongside of me, of us.

So, in this lull in the storms of life, I am looking up, with wide-eyed anticipation and trust.

If you’d like to come along, let’s start by reading Deuteronomy 8 … maybe there is an even better view up ahead.