Archive for May 24th, 2020


I don’t remember when it began … the joking and one-upping, the not subtle at all angling for first, for favorite.

My brothers and I joke about who is the favorite kid of the family. When I fly west to east for a visit, I claim favorite status. When the older of my younger brothers delivers a gorgeous birthday gift, he claims favorite. When the youngest … does the youngest have to do anything? I mean, really? They are the baby of the family.

At Christmas, last year, I ordered a gag gift. T-shirts for my brothers and I so that we call each proclaim to the world our self-proclaimed place in the world. I look forward to a time when I can fly east again, and we can all wear them, together, all the while one-upping each other.

Parents, who are wise, avoid the favorite game. For to do so will only teach a child to work for love … but, love is not based on what I receive, but on what is given, freely.

As a parent I will tell you that I do not have favorites, but my expressions of love are different because each of my kids is different. Each have different personalities, preferences and interests. Each have different hopes, desires and needs.

There is one who I love to eat sushi with, one I love to eat Indian with and one I love to eat steak with. I love to eat with them all, just differently … just like I love them all, just differently.

A parent’s love for their children must be equitable, even if the expressions

The Bible speaks of favoritism, as well.

Romans 2:11 tells us that “God shows no partiality (favoritism).”

Deuteronomy 2:17 says, “the Lord your God shows no partiality (favoritism) and takes no bribes.”

Probably my favorite verse on not having favorites (isn’t that an interesting way to put it?) is Proverbs 28:21, paraphrased in the Message :

“Playing favorites
is always
a bad thing;
you can do
great harm
in seemingly
harmless ways.”

The good-hearted roasting and teasing will go with my brothers and I as long as we all have breath … and they are both my favorites.


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