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Archive for the ‘FAMILY’ Category

My Kid’s Teachers

Posted in FAMILY, The Kids, WONDER, tagged #mykidsteachers, #teachingishardwork, #thanksforteachers on October 27, 2016| 1 Comment »

thank-you-for-being-a-wonderful-teacher-to-my-child-greeting-card

As I drove my son home from youth, he inquired about how my last Parent-Teacher conference had gone.

For nineteen years I have attended these meetings. Depending on the year, and the child who I was inquiring about, I have attended these meetings with a variety of emotions from joy, to dread, to surprise. I have left these meetings with thanks.

After hashing out the conversations and comments with my son, I found myself reflecting on the end of this era.

I work in a high school as an Educational Assistant, and take great pride in the work I do. But, I am not a teacher. Working in the school system, alongside of professional teachers has given me immense respect for those who teach our children.

Their job is an impossible task!

They are required to become experts in their fields, imparting their knowledge equally upon the eager, the disinterested, and the antagonistic.

They are expected to teach information that is advanced and relevant in our technological world, with antiquated tools and self-taught skills.

They have to fill the roles of disciplinarian, counsellor, parent, physician, and educator.

They are expected to regularly take courses to upgrade their knowledge, deal with curricular changes, attend meetings (often not within a regular work day), coach, mentor and facilitate extracurricular activities, along with the pressure of expectations of administration and the parent community.

Having had our children in private, Christian schools, means that their teachers, though still expected to have the same (or greater as Christian perspective courses are regularly being upgraded) education, training and professional development, do not earn incomes as high as their professional counterparts.

Though there are challenges, struggles, high expectations and low renumeration, they show up,

every

single

day,

and they teach.

I have had the joy of watching these committed professionals laugh, challenge, teach and even pray for my kids and their friends. I have heard them voice concern, share heart-warming stories and agonize over students who work so hard, yet still do not pass tests. I have seen their faces, their smiles, heard their genuine welcome when a student from years gone by stops in for a visit.

There is little left to say, other than

thanks, we noticed your efforts.

“A teacher affects eternity;
he can never tell where his influence stops.”
Henry Adams

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Life and Breath

Posted in The Kids, WONDER, tagged #birthdaygirl, #emilydickinson, #findecstasyinlife, #lifeandbreath, #psalm23 on October 23, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Happy birthday to my first born!

It’s been another year of what we take most for granted … life and breath.

Life and breath. They go together, they need each other, yet, we easily forget the blessing that they are, until we risk losing them.

I remember well your first breath, and the cries that followed. They were the best sounds I had ever heard. They proceeded tears and smiles and laughter from your dad and I.

I had waited and worked hard for that moment, and not just in pushing you out and into this world. From your conception, there was the threat of loss (as had happened before you) that I was determined would not occur.

As if we are able to will our days, our breath, let alone will it for another.

“For the Spirit of God has made me,
and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”
Job 33:4

And here you are, all these years later.

You have an education, and you are ready to break out onto your own … if only the one right job would come along (as opposed to the three that are paying the bills).

It is hard to be in a place of waiting, especially when you have been waiting all throughout your years of study. You are ready to go, to do, to really, finally live the life.

Even in this valley, that seems so shadowed, there is life and breath:

God, my shepherd!
I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I’m not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
makes me feel secure.
You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.
Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.

You have worked hard, and you are waiting. But, you are being nourished and cared for even in the waiting.

As I waited for you, I also waited in the valley. It was not where I wanted to be, yet it was where I needed to be, to repair and prepare. To breath, to re-learn how to live again.

You were so worth waiting for, and your breath took mine away.

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Dear Moms …

Posted in FAMILY, life, women, WONDER, tagged #dearmoms, #discouragedmoms, #itsfridaybutsundayiscoming, #tiredmoms on October 21, 2016| 1 Comment »

Dear Moms …

It’s been a rough week.

You are tired … tired from the inside out. Tired from the pressures at work, tired because of the lessons, the practises, the hours in the minivan. You are tired because of the mountain of laundry, tired because you have so much you want to do as a mom, but there is so little time.

You are discouraged … discouraged by the world you see your kids growing up in. Discouraged by the instabilities, the lack of morals, the inconsistent lives of those in our world who we call leaders (both those on the big stage, and those who parent the peers of our kids).

It is Friday, Moms,

and the weekend is still looking … tiring … discouraging.

It is Friday, Moms,

but,

Sunday IS coming.

That old sermon, popularized by LM Lockridge and Tony Campelo, is based on the Easter story. The story of the darkness of the Friday we call Good, followed by the Sunday when we celebrate Christ’s victory over death.

Moms, let me tell you a secret,

it’s not just an Easter story.

Christ did not overcome the one-way road to hell and death, for one day of celebration. He came, he died, he rose again so that everyday might be like Easter Sunday.

He redeemed death, through death, to life everlasting … every day.

Moms,

Do not be discouraged!

“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

“Do not be afraid or discouraged,
for the LORD will personally go ahead of you.
He will be with you;
he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Deuteronomy 31:8

Moms,

He can give you the rest your need!

“Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him”
Psalm 37:7a

“”Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28

It us Friday, Moms,

but,

Sunday IS coming!

“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart
and with the full assurance that faith brings,
having our hearts sprinkled
to cleanse us from a guilty conscience
and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:22

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Songs for my Son’s 17th

Posted in life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged #songsformysons17th, #thanksgivingbirthday on October 11, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Happy birthday baby boy!

Okay, I’m a day late, but roasting the Thanksgiving turkey kinda kept me away from writing … ironic, since seventeen years ago, it was your birth that kinds kept me away from roasting the Thanksgiving turkey!

I remember well the day you were born … my heart was aching, hands shaking, and I thought (think): Ohh I don’t wanna let you down. I’d die for you, that’s easy to say

With you I share a similar taste in music. Our drives to and from school often have the volume turned up (until we reach school, or our neighbourhood … cause we don’t want anyone to think that your old mom could be cool like that), and air drums being played. I often try to get you to sing along, and you get a lump in your throat cause I’m gonna sing the words wrong”!

Though much of our shared music is simply enjoying the beat, there is actually wisdom in a few of our favorites:

“Wish we could turn back time,to the good ol’ days.
When our mama sang us to sleep, but now we’re stressed out.”
I admit, I do sometimes wish we could turn back time. Seeing you and your sisters enter into adulthood, with all it’s stresses landing on your shoulders, makes me nostalgic for ‘simpler’ times. That said, the independence that you are all heading towards is exciting and I look forward to see where you will go in your lives. You can look back with joy, but don’t stay there … move forward.

its always darkest before the dawn
There will be days that will be dark … really dark. Remember that childhood book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? You will have days when you will be able to write the sequel. Don’t throw in the towel, it IS always darkest before the dawn. Give thanks … “thanksgiving preceded the blessing” (Voskamp). so keep your head up, my love.

we’re all strange and baby we don’t wanna change
Ever feel like a square peg in a round hole? Kinda like you just don’t ‘fit’? Honey, that is a common human experience. Keep looking for where you fit like you were made for it … that is the place you will thrive … not every day, but over a lifetime. So go forth and have no fear.

please don’t make any sudden moves
Think before you make choices … from that bag of chips, to the homework on your desk, to that girl that smiled at you, to the career choice, to the video game (into hour number three). Every choice toward one thing is a choice away from another. Choose wisely, good and bad consequences are attached to all choices.

Time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings. Watch it count down to the end of the day. The clock ticks life away. It’s so unreal.
It is said that the days are long, and the years short. If you close your eyes does it almost feel like nothing changed at all. Live fully each day, love fully every day. The only guarantee is right now. Live with the goal of few regrets. These days of dust which we’ve known, will blow away with this new sun.

I can’t wait to kick off my work shoes
Choose work you will love, and love the work you do but … your work is not your life! Don’t sell your soul for a pay check! Have a life full of family, friends and activities, outside of work, so that you can look forward to both the beginning and end of your workdays.

though the truth may vary this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
but we all know, if there’s hope, then we’ll be okay
There are so many unknowns in life, especially when, like seventeen year old you, change is so close you can almost touch it. But, you have within your grasp someone who will direct your life, filling you with hope. Continue to allow God to direct you. He is your rock, your life’s foundation.

every minute and every hour, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more
you can call me up from a pay phone
it may be hard for you to stop and believe but for you I’d leave it all
I am always your mom, and though I do like to remind you that I too have a life, I will miss you when you venture out into your own life. I’d stop whatever I am doing, for you … always here, just a phone call away.

you’re such a big mess, and I love you
honey I love you, that’s all she wrote

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The Debt of Marriage

Posted in The Hubby, WONDER, tagged #loveisntenough, #marriageishard, #romanticmortgage, #slowdeathmarriage, #thedebtofmarriage, #weddinganniversary on October 9, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Twenty-seven years! icon_househeart_red_750x5002

Twenty-seven years!

Last weekend hubby and I celebrated our 27th anniversary.

Twenty-seven years is 57.4% of my life!

I kept repeating it over and over again, as if awaiting some explanation for the passage of time.

As I look back on our wedding day, my most keen memory is who we were then. We were young (just twenty and twenty-three), naive, idealistic and so ‘in love’ with each other (with love).

It (marriage) was going to be so easy, because we were so in love. We were ready to face whatever would come our way, because we were together.

gag!

I wonder, if we knew then what we know now, would we?

Here’s the twenty-seven year reality check …

marriage is hard!

and just when we think it is getting easier … it gets difficult all over again!

What I/we have learned most in twenty-seven years of marriage, is that being in love is not enough, because being in love is all about how the relationship feels, and feelings are fleeting, inconsistent, conditional and changing.

There have been (many) times in our marriage when we felt anything but in love towards each other. As a matter of fact, there have been many times when one or both of us has been pretty certain that we had made a mistake in marrying the other, and maybe even sought an escape clause.

Yet, here we are, but the long-lasting adhesive has not been love. The glue is far less romantic, but far more effective.

Our vows to each other, the license we signed, the promises we made, were really more like the legal contract for a mortgage.

Last weekend I heard hubby explain the meaning of the word, mortgage, to a fellow traveller. Mortgage is a french word which means slow death. It is a legal obligation to make payments either until it is paid off, or until foreclosure occurs.

Twenty-seven years ago we signed a mortgage-like license, promising to stay together, until it is paid off, or until death. It was a commitment to make regular payments, on the investment, and those payments are due whether the roof is leaking or the foundation crumbling … whether we feel like making the payments, or not.

If we chose to not make a payment, we then put ourselves in a position of threatened foreclosure … and we might lose all investment that we have made.

This is so not the romantic love that was the driving force behind our walk down the aisle. Yet, it is the only thing that can guarantee that there will be anything left of the original structure when debt is paid.

Twenty-seven years!

I am thankful for these years …

though some payments came up short, or were late …

though I resented the times when I had to pay more than my share …

though I am embarrassed when I didn’t contribute at all …

though our roof leaks …

and the maintenance seems impossible …

with God’s help our investments pay off,

every day we have together.

And some days, the sun shines in, illuminating each other, reminding us of the delights of feeling in love, and leaving us thankful for not foreclosing.

May it be a slow, slow death …

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The Purpose Driven Road Less Travelled

Posted in Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged #goingittogether, #roadtrips, #thepurposedrivenroadlesstravelled, #travellingwithyourspouse on September 8, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Might be good better adjusted further

As a kickstart to summer, hubby and I took a road trip to visit dear friends.

On this trip we learned something new about each other.

Hubby likes to take the road less travelled, whereas I desire a more purpose driven trip.

As we travelled, hubby loved the meandering country roads, in the valley of a mountain range. Periodically encountering farm vehicles, who we would need to wait patiently behind, until a safe location spot in the road availed passing the slow moving vehicles.

I, on the other hand, yearned for the three (or four) lane highways, on which good time could be made, and progress toward our goal of reaching our friendly destination would be achieved.

In the middle of summer we took another trip, across the state of Washington, from West to East (from the coast to the desert … in August! But, that is a story for another day). For hubby, our destination was the reason for the trip. For myself, it was the mountain highway vistas that had my interest peeked.

Were I driving, we would have stopped at every pull off, to see all that we could see.

Hubby, on the other hand, just wanted to reach our destination, as soon as possible.

For this trip, it was I who desired the road less travelled, and he who wanted purpose-driven travels.

Then, last weekend, we packed up and pointed the vehicle south, to the Oregon Coast. This is our favourite vacation destination, and the trip was entirely a purpose-driven one, from north to south to north again. The only roads less travelled were in and around the area where we stayed.

Through our individual and combined responses, these road trips have shown me something about our years together.

It doesn’t matter which road we take.

There have been times when one of us is heading in a very specific direction, and it’s full boar ahead, whereas the other just goes along for the ride. Sometimes the driver is reversed. Then there are the times when we have both been intent to get to our destination, redeeming the time to get there.

What matters is that we are heading to the same destination.

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Thanks for Summer Camp

Posted in FAMILY, WONDER, tagged #campkawkawa, #handsandfeet, #thanksforsummercamp, thanks on September 4, 2016| 1 Comment »

canoe-dock

Dear Summer Camp Director,

Seven weeks of our teenage son being away at summer camp equaled a savings of approximately $600 in groceries, (a very conservative estimate), hundreds of litres (gallons) of hot water showers and many kilowatts of electricity to power his computer, phone and razor (ok, so he probably wouldn’t have used that razor even if he were home).

The summer of 2016 marked the ninth year that our son went to summer camp. Whether it was year one, at seven years of age, when he went for just a week, or this past summer, when he came home only once in his seven weeks there, I miss him each and every time.

But I wouldn’t have summer any other way!

Often I have wondered, do you know, do you really know, how significant and important what you do and provide is in the growth and development of those who attend?

Now that the summer is over, you are exhausted from the inside out and you find yourselves scanning job opportunities in any area BUT camp ministries, let me share what your blood, sweat and tears have produced.

When our son was just a little guy who came to camp for a week each summer, there were two things he would tell us about; how great his cabin councillors were, and how he had dedicated his life to Christ … EVERY year!

Those older teens were heroes in the eyes of our son. I remember once being at an event centre, mid winter, and this teenager was yelling his name. When our son turned around to where the voice was coming, his eyes shone as though he was noticed by a celebrity. He grew up desiring to be like them.

This summer camp has always been the place of spiritual re-set. Each summer he was reminded who he is, in Christ, and was given the opportunity to accept the challenge to start from where he was, through the grace that God gives so generously.

As he grew, more opportunities were available at summer camp. Opportunities to serve, and give back. He spent a couple of years involved as work crew, doing anything from cleaning toilets to chopping wood, to serving in the dining room. Through this work, he was mentored by ‘the old guys’ (retired men who volunteered at the camp) and by staff who oversaw the work and the attitudes of the teens. His stories were of the people, and of what he learned of Christ through those people.

Last year he got to participate in a L.I.T. (Leadership in Training) program. Two weeks of intentional learning about what it was to be a leader, through study and practise … head and hand learning. Some of what he learned is still pinned to his bedroom wall, as a reminder of what a leader is, what a leader does. He came home inspired, motivated to be a leader in whatever capacity required, from cleaning toilets to counselling in a cabin.

He has been free at camp, free to be the individual that is part of the whole, called summer camp. He has shared stories of great speakers (who he now calls friends and mentors), activities on land and water, challenges … from the behaviours of campers and to his own behaviours, and tales of Christ working in and through the people who are, camp.

Through all nine years, camp has always been about the people and being reminded that Christ loves and died for him.

I am still parenting this hairy beast called my son, but I couldn’t have done it without your camp, without you. You have been the hands and feet of Christ, teaching him how to devote his hands and feet to Christ.

So, close that job search website, and receive the grateful, heartfelt praise from this humbled mom. You are not doing this great work alone, you are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.

I am a thankful mom, and I am not alone in my thanks for all you do.

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A Smoother Ride

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, WONDER, tagged #asmootherride, #dearyoungerme, #ifiknewthen, #mercyme, #whenwewereyoung, Choices, Mistakes on July 12, 2016| Leave a Comment »

Working away in my garage, humming to a song on the radio, I heard the words “Dear Younger Me, if I could tell you everything that I have learned so far …”

We all know what it is to ponder where our life would be if only we had known when we were young, what we know now.

That reflective introspective moment quickly pivoted my thoughts away from me, when I heard the line “a smoother ride” and was instantly in a truck, just the day before.

I had been accompanying my daughter to our mechanic, who was to look over the truck that she wished to purchase. The entire ride, wait for the mechanics diagnosis, and drive to return the truck back to it’s seller, I wanted to place my hands on her shoulders, force her to make eye contact with me, and tell her (sternly)

DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY! Go purchase a nice, safe, compact car.

But, I couldn’t, I can’t.

You see, my parents, whose failings I could fill a lined piece of paper (and, as parents, we could all fill an entire notebook with our own failings), did one thing I have grown to respect beyond their failings … they let me chose.

Though not church-goers, they fully supported my personal faith with Christ, even attending and celebrating my baptism as a teen.

They welcomed me home with open arms when I quit university (something I now regret).

Then, two months later, despite still owing student loan money, I decided to take a trip to Mexico with a friend (I am pretty certain that they probably almost severed their tongues from biting them) yet they never said a negative word.

They also said not one discouraging word when, at nineteen, I declared that I was getting married. (not sure I could withhold from voicing my discouraging words, if I were in their shoes).

they let me chose …

Over and over, they let me make my own decisions. I have had no one to blame when I blew it, other than myself. I have been the self-scholar of my life’s choices, learning from each one.

It’s not that they never gave me advice, but that that is all they did … gave advice, then loved me with an unconditional love, whether I chose their advice, or choose my own way.

God is the original model of what it is to parent this way. He has given us his advice, knowing exactly what the consequences of our choices will be, then he lets us choose, while loving us, unconditionally.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39

Though I would love to be able to write a letter of what to do, and what not to, or to throw up a stop sign whenever my younger self is about to make a life-altering decision that I may not like the consequences of down the road …

I am who I am today because of all my choices,

good, bad, and even the yet to be determined.

And so, though I want more than anything a smoother ride for my daughter than I might have had, I also know that she needs to make the choice as to what her ride will be …

even if it is a truck.

“the choices that you’ll make
cause they’re the choices that made ma
and even though I love this crazy life
sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride,
dear younger me …

every mountain, every valley
through each heart ache you will see
every moment brings you closer
to who you were meant to be.”

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A Grandma’s Prayers

Posted in FAMILY, life, WONDER, tagged #agrandmasprayers, #clothesline, Dreams, gardening, Heritage, Prayer on June 7, 2016| 3 Comments »

The planning, preparations and practise began last summer.

My daughter was desiring to have a vegetable garden and a clothesline.

Both desires sounded great, and so we dabbled our toes into the practises of many generations before us.

A rope was tied between our deck post and a tree, and we both utilized the natural drying and whites-bleaching power of the sun.

We made our veggie purchases and planted them in containers and enjoyed harvesting potatoes, veggies and herbs into the fall.

This spring, we have kicked it up a notch.

Pulleys and clotheline were purchased and (this weekend) installed.

A frame was constructed, filled with soil, and vegetables planted.

These ideas, dreamed in my daughter’s imagination, have come to fruition (hopefully literally in regards to the garden), and I stood back, last night, smiled … and thought of one of my grandmothers.

My memories of her were of quilting, baking bread, hanging laundry on the clothesline and gathering food from from the gardens of her generous neighbours … like the gleaners in the Bible.

She was confident and content. She had her opinions, and was not shy in sharing them. She (in her mid 80s) still picked up ‘the old ladies’ on her street so that they could get to church on Sunday mornings. She made the effort to see her kids and grandchildren, never sitting at home, glumly waiting for them to come to her. She loved to sing in her little church choir … even though she sounded like Lucille Ball. She loved to watch Carol Burnett in hysterical laughter. She loved to have her back scratched. She prayed.

After her husband died at a too young age, I remember having sleep-overs with her, in her fresh-air-smelling bedding. Before the light was turned out, she reached for her Bible and her Daily Bread devotional. She would read the verses appointed for that day, followed by the application in the devotional. Then, we would pray, each of us silent. Me, silently waiting for her to give me a good night hug, signifying the end of our silence. She concentrating seriously as her lips moved silently.

Last night I felt her absence, felt the absence of her faithful prayers for my life, for the lives of those I love.

Yet, the fruit of her prayers continue to ripen, in the lives of those who snuggled by her side in her dried-on-the-clothesline sheets, and those who never knew such delights.

May the harvest of those prayers of dedication and trust continue this summer, and may I be as faithful in my silent prayers … that the best dreams come to fruition.

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Loving the Beast

Posted in FAMILY, life, Love, The Beast, WONDER, tagged #lovehurts, #loveissacrifice, #lovingthebeast, #moveintothehurting, #shiloh, #thebeast on May 26, 2016| 1 Comment »

10351802_10152855583535590_6673932177946581782_n Just over five years ago I introduced you to our beast.

My Loves – The Beast

She became a regular on this blog, as regular as the rest of our crazy family.

Over a year ago she started to tire more quickly, followed by tripping up the stairs, eventually reaching the point that required us to carry her outside to relieve herself.

In those months of deteriorating health, the beast taught our family some very important lessons on life.

Sacrifice

It began when the beast started slipping on our laminate floors. We needed to allow her onto our carpeted bedroom and living room, so that she would have spaces to share time with us. Hubby, generously, okayed that allowance (despite allergies to her fur). We carried her sixty pound frame outside, and cleaned feces from carpet as she lost the ability to control her bowls. Each sacrifice was accepted by all, not as a sacrifice, but an expression of commitment to her live, to the end.

Move in to the Hurting

As the beast’s ability to move reduced, she could no longer follow us throughout the house, so we moved towards her. As a family, we read, did homework, played video games and wrote sermons together in our living room. She no longer followed us, we came to her. We knew each day with her might be her last, and I think we all wanted to ensure that she was not alone.

Loving Hurts

As we awaited the end of her life, we hurt (even hubby, who used to use her as an example of sin in his sermons). There were memories and moments of our lives tied up in that eternally shedding beast. Our kids grew ten years older with her. She was one who made us feel frustration when she got out, unleashed, running through the neighbourhood with freedoms smile plastered on her face. She made us smile when she joyfully greeted us every time we entered the house. She gave us comfort, as she sat snuggly beside us, or entered our arms for a hug. She amused us with her ‘mean dog’ look … such an act for such a peaceful dog. She tugged at our heart strings when she would nearly dislocate our shoulder if she were to hear a child crying in the distance while out for a walk. Remembering how she added to our lives, made the sorrow of parting greater.

If you are not a dog or animal person, my words and emotions expressed might seem rather over the top. That’s okay, I have been there. But this experience of loving the beast has taught us much about loving people.

Love is sacrifice.

If we are going to truly love others, we are going to have to sacrifice.

Move in to the hurting.

When someone you love is hurting, go closer to them, not farther away.

Love hurts.

I think C. S. Lewis has said it best: