Twenty-seven years!
Twenty-seven years!
Last weekend hubby and I celebrated our 27th anniversary.
Twenty-seven years is 57.4% of my life!
I kept repeating it over and over again, as if awaiting some explanation for the passage of time.
As I look back on our wedding day, my most keen memory is who we were then. We were young (just twenty and twenty-three), naive, idealistic and so ‘in love’ with each other (with love).
It (marriage) was going to be so easy, because we were so in love. We were ready to face whatever would come our way, because we were together.
gag!
I wonder, if we knew then what we know now, would we?
Here’s the twenty-seven year reality check …
marriage is hard!
and just when we think it is getting easier … it gets difficult all over again!
What I/we have learned most in twenty-seven years of marriage, is that being in love is not enough, because being in love is all about how the relationship feels, and feelings are fleeting, inconsistent, conditional and changing.
There have been (many) times in our marriage when we felt anything but in love towards each other. As a matter of fact, there have been many times when one or both of us has been pretty certain that we had made a mistake in marrying the other, and maybe even sought an escape clause.
Yet, here we are, but the long-lasting adhesive has not been love. The glue is far less romantic, but far more effective.
Our vows to each other, the license we signed, the promises we made, were really more like the legal contract for a mortgage.
Last weekend I heard hubby explain the meaning of the word, mortgage, to a fellow traveller. Mortgage is a french word which means slow death. It is a legal obligation to make payments either until it is paid off, or until foreclosure occurs.
Twenty-seven years ago we signed a mortgage-like license, promising to stay together, until it is paid off, or until death. It was a commitment to make regular payments, on the investment, and those payments are due whether the roof is leaking or the foundation crumbling … whether we feel like making the payments, or not.
If we chose to not make a payment, we then put ourselves in a position of threatened foreclosure … and we might lose all investment that we have made.
This is so not the romantic love that was the driving force behind our walk down the aisle. Yet, it is the only thing that can guarantee that there will be anything left of the original structure when debt is paid.
Twenty-seven years!
I am thankful for these years …
though some payments came up short, or were late …
though I resented the times when I had to pay more than my share …
though I am embarrassed when I didn’t contribute at all …
though our roof leaks …
and the maintenance seems impossible …
with God’s help our investments pay off,
every day we have together.
And some days, the sun shines in, illuminating each other, reminding us of the delights of feeling in love, and leaving us thankful for not foreclosing.
May it be a slow, slow death …
itsawonderfilledlife 