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Some Creatures Eat Their Young

Posted in FAMILY, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Children, Love, Love for your kids, Parent Frustration, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Some Creatures Eat Their young, Spiders on January 31, 2012| 4 Comments »

Filial cannibalism is the act of eating ones own offspring. Creatures from birds to fish to spiders (they should eat more of their young) all practice this horrendous act.

It is disgusting! It is unbelievable! It is … pondered once in a while when you have children.

Now, obviously I am joking, but lets face it, there are days when we wonder (momentarily) why we asked for that back rub many years ago. There are days when we, as parents, feel pushed to the edge of the cliff, and the jump starts looking mighty appealing!

But then we are, ever so quickly, reminded of what our heart really feels about these offspring of ours. We would do anything for them, we would even die to save their lives.

We parents live in such a place of contradictions. We love them, we want to eat them.

Whenever one of our kids is pushing our buttons (or maybe all of them … at once!), our eldest, in her most mocking of mocking tones, likes to remind us the “sex has consequences.” Her point being that if we had not had sex, they would not be here here to drive us nuts. What her real point is, though, is that them driving us nuts is our own fault. Sigh, sometimes I regret encouraging our kids to think critically!

The thing is we do love our kids. We did want them and we forgive them faster than we could ever forgive any other. They are ours, a part of us, and no matter how often we hear the words, “some creatures eat their young” in our heads, we would die for them in an instant. And this IS the miracle of love.

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Let My People Go!

Posted in GOD, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Choices, Church, Exodus 9:1, Family Worship, Let My People Go, Letting Children Choose, Moses, Worship on November 15, 2011| Leave a Comment »

These words come from God, in Exodus 9:1, when he told Moses that he needed to declare (not request) to Pharaoh, “Let my people go!” Now the people God was referring to were the Israelite people who Pharaoh had been using as the equivalent to pack mules, working in fields, building the kingdom for a king who seemed to forget that they were the majority people group in his land. It could be said that the Israelite people were singing “another brick in the wall,” (Pink Floyd) with all the brick making they were to do.

The words God instructed to Moses came into my thoughts the other night when I attended church with my eldest daughter. She has been attending a different church, of a different denomination from us, for over a year now. I was eager to go with her to church, to worship together, and to see her in her ‘own place.’

I am a strange mother, when it comes to church. I tell my kids, once they are in middle school, that they are free to attend any youth group, of a Christian church, that they choose. I tell them they are free to attend, or not attend, the youth programming at our own church. All that I ask is that they go, and participate in a youth program, on a regular basis.

I am stranger still, because hubby (aka. their dad) is a pastor of a church.

He has also been a youth pastor, many years ago. From that experience, he, and we have come to understand that our kids experiences with God and church do not have to be isolated to where we attend (and where their dad works). It is far more important to both of us that our kids worship and serve sincerely than to worship and serve with us, just because WE want them with us. We want them to never think that God is only where we are. We want them to see God as there for them, as individuals, not through the experiences and choices of us, as parents.

Over the years we have worked intentionally in broadening our kids experiences of church, and christianity. When hubby is off, we attend other churches, of varying denominations, of varying worship styles, and of varying means of expression. We have encouraged awareness to things of the christian sub culture (music, literature, camps, missions). We want them to know that God is bigger than any church, any denomination, any method of expression, and any pastor.

Exodus 9:1 … the entire verse says, “then the LORD said to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh and say to him, ‘This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says: ‘Let my people go, so that they may worship (some versions say ‘serve’) me.'” God does not want US (as parents) to be worshiped, or served, but God, who we are all called to go and serve.

And so, with all that said, last night, I was longing to worship with my daughter, for a change. My mother heart just wanted to sit and stand beside her, worshiping and serving our God … together. And, it was good. But, it is better knowing that she is seeking God, for herself, not to please me or her dad. She is on a journey that we, as her parents, blanket with our prayers. It is a journey that does not stop when a person finds ‘their’ church, but when one finds themselves in the arms of our Savior, at the end of their earthly life. And it is there, in heaven, that I will get to worship and serve my God, with all my family around me. And it is there that longing will be no more.

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The Piano

Posted in FAMILY, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged A Most Desired Child, All Things are Possible, Desired, Gift, God Whispering, Matthew 19, Prayer Request, The Piano, With God All Things Are Possible on October 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Sometimes God speaks in whispers, and sometimes His voice yells into my being. I like it better when He yells (it is easy for me to become distracted when trying to hear whispers), but He seems to prefer whispering.

There was a time, a few years back, when He yelled … loudly. I am not sure, looking back, why He was so intent on my hearing His voice. Maybe what He wanted most was simply that it was undeniable that He was pursuing me.

It all started on a bright and sunny fall Sunday afternoon. I was walking with our oldest daughter (about eight years old, at the time). As we walked we talked about various things. The only thing I remember talking about was when I asked her if she would be interested in learning a how to play a musical instrument. I had asked if she might like to learn to play the violin, the guitar, or maybe take voice lessons (notice the smaller size of these suggested instruments … money was tight, and as much as we wanted to provide this opportunity, it also had to fit with our budget).

My daughter’s response was that she would like to learn to play piano (not in our budget). I did not want to discourage her, but I did want her to recognize the enormity of her desire. So, I told her it was an expensive instrument, and that if that was what she desired most, then she should pray and ask God to either make a way for us to get a piano, or that He would take her desire to learn to play piano away. I also quoted (something I do not do ofter or well, because memorizing is a struggle for me), Matthew 19:26, ” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.””

When we returned home that afternoon, I shared with hubby our conversation. The next morning, hubby got a phone call from his mother. She called him (not a regular occurrence) to ask if she could purchase a piano for her granddaughter to learn to play on. He immediately called me, to share in his sense of shock. We decided that we would not share this with our daughter.

Over the next number of weeks we looked high and low for a good, used piano (we did have a conservative budget). It was not an easy task. I cannot remember what the budget was, exactly, I just remember that there was nothing available in any store I visited. Through the hunt we would check in on our daughter, and ask if she was still praying. Every time her response was the same, “everyday, Mom.”

Finally, just weeks before Christmas, a store that I had left our budget with called to say that a piano that met our needs and budget had just arrived. Arrangements were made for it’s delivery. We still chose to not tell our daughter … but I think we told every other living soul around us. I am not sure if it was possible for our daughter to ever realize the excitement and anticipation that this event created for all around her.

Then, on the Friday before Christmas break, it was delivered. She walked into the house, and we put her on the phone with her gift-providing Gramma (so that she could live through the excitement with us). She was led to the piano, blindfolded, and then it was revealed. She was ecstatic! She played, she sang, she played. And we all smiled brightly.

The whole story was shared with her, and we reminded her of the verse from Matthew that was the central point of this adventure. That verse has become her life’s verse (as each of our children have one), but, really it has more meaning to us than even to her.

That season is one I look back on as our ‘with God all things are possible’ season. It is a time that God spoke, loudly, and reminded me of how He is in control of our lives, and how with Him, the impossible for us, happens.

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Giving Thanks

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged 1 Samuel 16:7, Adolescence, David, October 10, Pregnancy, Samuel and David, Son, Thanksgiving, The Lord Looks at the Heart on October 10, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I so vividly remember Thanksgiving Sunday, sixteen years ago …

I had spent the night in a hospital, in a city I didn’t live in, not knowing why I had been having the most dreadful, take you breath away (literally) pains for over a day. I was wheeled to Sonography for an ultrasound, which revealed the ‘problem’ … I was pregnant, and the pregnancy had attached to my fallopian tube. It’s growth was causing my life to be threatened.

Once that knowledge had been attained, I was immediately prepped for surgery, and wheeled into the OR to have the tube and the pregnancy (the baby) removed. It was a day that made thanks-giving a struggle. On the one hand, I was thankful for my life, and on the other I was mourning the loss of our fifth pregnancy, our fifth child.

And life moves on …

About twelve and a half years ago I was visiting my doctor to confirm what I had already guessed … I was pregnant.

Now for most that declaration might bring a smile to your face, but, with our history of incomplete pregnancies it was just step one of a very long, very anxiety-ridden time.

When my doctor told me the due date would be October 17, I asked him to look to see when Thanksgiving Sunday would be. His reply, “October 10.” To which I replied, “I’m having this baby on that day.”

On October 9, 1999, as I bent over to tie my shoes, the first discernible beginnings of labor began. And the following day … Thanksgiving Sunday … on the tenth month of the tenth day, at ten past ten in the morning our son breathed his first breath, and cried. And so did we, with more thanksgiving than we had ever hoped.

And, today he turns twelve. He is on the cusp of all that adolescence holds and brings to a boys body, mind and soul. He is eager to physically look down on me. He is not too eager to have signs of affection shown to him in public, and has not yet reached the point of maturity that can handle hearing me tell stories of when he was younger (but if I could, there would be rafts of great and humorous tales of adventure and mayhem). He is eager for his voice to change, but has not yet started to empty the hot water tank when in the shower. He’s on the cusp.

Who is this boy to soon become man? He is the one who wants to give hugs (even to his sisters). He is a creative soul, who would prefer to build than to tear down. He is the football player who is struggling to put all his weight into it when coming up against the other team players, because he really doesn’t want to hurt them. He is the only child we have ever gotten a call from school about … apparently on top of another boy hitting (if only he could divert this to football). He is a philosopher who, while the rest of us are talking nonsense, will awaken from his silence and share his deep thoughts about something he has been turning around in his mind for a time. He is not a ‘school’ academic, but he is a most natural student of life, who will probably study far more than his report cards ever indicate. He is our only son, and in him we are well pleased.

But what do I want for him? I want him to be a man after God’s own heart.

Samuel referred to David this way. He told King Saul that because he had not done what the Lord had commanded, his kingdom, his rule that was supposed to have lasted a long time, would end. He also told the King that because David was a man after God’s own heart, he would inherit (though not by birth, so much as God’s appointing) Saul’s kingdom.

A man after God’s own heart … what a grandiose hope for an adolescent boy. But, it was as a boy, the youngest in the family (probably called the Hebrew equivalent of ‘little puke’ by his older brothers), that David was first anointed as the next king of Israel. God’s plan for David’s life was not hampered by his last of bloodline, his youth, his size or lack of formal education. God had a plan that was born out of the condition of David’s heart, and it was that one quality that made David God’s man for the job.

I pray that my son’s heart will, like David’s, be one that seeks to be in unison with the heart of God. There is no other dream or desire that I pray more earnestly for his life. It is in being one with God that, even in sin (and boy, did David know sin, and failure), redemption can be received.

“But the LORD said to Samuel,

“…The LORD does not look at the things people look at.

People look at the outward appearance,

but the LORD looks at the heart.” “

1 Samuel 16:7

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BO = Boys Only and Body Odor

Posted in life, The Kids, tagged BO, Body Odor, Boys Only, Hot Dogs, Life, Old Spice Guy, Wonder on September 12, 2011| 3 Comments »

Today’s post title adequately describes the birthday party held at our home last week. Thirteen boys with an average age of twelve equals a loud, smelly, testosterone-filled three hours (and an Ibuprofen sized headache for mom and dad 😉 ).

Once again I was reminded how very little I know and understand about boys. They are like a different creature than any other … man, woman, female child … and then there are … boys … A creature totally unto their own.

First off was how they grow at this stage. Now I had been noting growth in my own boy in a significant way over the summer. He must have grown a couple of inches! But some of his friends … they have grown FEET! It was surreal! I walked them to my van, after school, feeling as though I was walking in the company of giants.

Then there was the … scent of a van full of boys of this age … Oh Mr. Old Spice guy, how I longed for your scent (now that I think of it, I should have utilized the opportunity to give them the party loot bag gift of antiperspirant … necessity is the mother of invention … and those boys, they had need! But, I digress!).

At home they truly seemed to me to be trying to end each others lives, while playing in the pool. I was certain that my pool water was full of psychopaths (and probably full of pee too … thirteen boys in pool for almost two hours, and only two got out to take a leak … yuck! And this is why, as soon as they went home, we shocked the life … literally … out of the pool water). But, according to hubby, this is what boys do. And they were (according to hubby) having great fun. I am so glad that I am female! (and I am even more glad that we have TWO daughters and ONE son …).

When the gourmet birthday meal was completed, they arrived at the table. And when the … hot dogs … were set before them, one would have thought it was an Ethiopian banquet. I never knew that it was humanly possible for three dozen hot dogs to disappear so quickly (1. ‘human’ … maybe I am overestimating things when I refer to them as that. 2. Darn! I knew I should have videoed the event … I am sure the rapid disappearance of the hot dogs could have won me big money on ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’).

Then gifts … again boys and girls are different! Girls give gifts … boys give cold hard cash.

Finally the cake (they all wanted an icing-laden corner piece). But what they really wanted was to return to the pool. So, off they and their full tummies leapt into my pool (at first I was a little worried that the inhalation of weenies might result in … ‘floaters’ in my pool. But then I remembered that they ate them so quickly that surely if they were to rise again in their digestive track, they would certainly still be all in one piece 🙂 so I could just scoop them out of the pool and they could return to murderous acts against each other).

And then … their parents arrived 🙂

and took their boys home 😀

and hubby and I dropped into our comfy chairs vowing to re-think boy birthday parties … not really 🙂

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A Migrane and Morning Coffee

Posted in GOD, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Being Mom, Morning Coffee, Needing a Break, Provision on July 12, 2011| 1 Comment »

It was unexpected that I would awaken on Sunday morning with a migraine. I used to have those most dreaded headaches W A Y back in my early thirties. But, as I headed closer and closer to forty (like a freight train out of control, barreling down the tracks) they gradually dissipated, and disappeared.

I always felt very fortunate that I was never sick to my stomach, or needed to go to the hospital for stronger relief. I simply would take Ibuprofen, and go to bed, to sleep it off (of course my kids were ten years younger then, so it was not so easy to just go to bed).

So, when I awoke on Sunday morning, with a mental to do list, I was floored … almost literally! As the radio alarm went off, and my brain kicked into wake up mode, I knew it would not be easy to open my eyes.

I staggered as far as the back door in our kitchen, to let the beast out to do her morning thing, praying all the while that a squirrel wouldn’t divert her attention, and force me to maintain my vertical position for any longer than necessary. Thankfully she returned to the confines of our home, and I returned to the confines of my room, where the Ibuprofen is stored! Once an ample quantity was swallowed, I crawled back into bed, and told hubby I would be a no-show at church, and he would need to inform our lunch guests that they were uninvited (but I would reschedule).

Then, I rolled over, and slept … and slept … and slept … until 9:52am … that never happens!

When I awoke, the migraine had been down-graded to a headache. So, I popped more Ibuprofen, and headed to the next best cure of a morning headache … coffee! Although it was physically painful to hear the beans being ground, the first whiff of it’s delightful scent made the pounding subside, all on it’s own!

As the sun was shining, and the birds were singing, I took my cup of brew to the back deck, where I could put my feet up, and close my eyes (funny how I headed to the light with a headache, but if you lived where I do, and were experiencing the ‘non-summer’ which was preceded by the ‘non-spring’ you would understand that, in this context, sunshine can always be enjoyed … but, I digress).

Soon after getting into position, out came daughter number one, followed by daughter number two, followed by only son. And it was good. We talked, we laughed, and not a form of technology was in sight! I needed this even more than I had needed the Ibuprofen and the coffee.

It amazes me how, when you need it most, and are not wise enough to acknowledge it, rest is provided … just usually not in the way we would like, or could plan. But when we need it, when every fiber of our being cries out for it, our bodies make it happen.

June is a busy month, but July is heaven, for those of us who go to, or work at a school. I usually find that the first week of summer break is family hibernation week. No one really seeks out socializing, we just cocoon at home … together. And I love it (what can I say, I am a natural at cocooning).

But, this year I am working through July, and, when I am home, I am still working … sending emails, making phone calls. So, our first week off together, was not … together, at all. One hot evening (I think there was only one or two last week), as they all hopped in the pool, I was still returning emails, and making calls, despite their invites and pleading to join them.

By the end of last week (Saturday night, to be exact) I was complaining bitterly to hubby that I was feeling a heap of ‘momma guilt’ for not spending time with our kids (other than bellowing out orders … consider this confession time …). He was not so sympathetic … seriously, men just do not get women (and this is news to me and you? I don’t think so!)! And made some comment about how our kids are not suffering for attention (which is true, but what he didn’t ‘get’ was that I was suffering … for time with my kids … he does usually get it when it is he, who I am suffering to spend time with … just sayin’).

So, Sunday morning, I got my hearts desire … just in a not so desirable way. My body said ‘STOP’ … and I did, because I had no choice. And, as I sat out on our deck, steaming coffee in hand, my heart swelled with thankfulness for the provision of time … unplanned, unscripted … not contrived by a human mind, but handed to me, to us, by a heavenly Father who hears the cries of my heart.

“O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!”

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Treasures in Heaven

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, The Kids, tagged Life, Memories, Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Treasures in Heaven on July 4, 2011| 1 Comment »

I have written a number of times about our pregnancy losses. The responses I have received to them, have indicated how very common, how very painful and how very life-changing they are on those who share such experiences.

Truly, to have experienced the loss of a yet to be born child can leave a permanent imprint on the hearts of those who loved that child even before he or she took it’s first breath.

Today, July 4, is the 20th anniversary, of the due date of our first child. One who died, in utero, around sixteen to eighteen weeks gestation. I admit that this date has rarely, except on the actual due date, had any significance for me. The date that I have more commonly remembered is January 21. And this past years anniversary was particularly significant.

For those who have experienced loss, any loss, the anniversary of that loss can be felt in many different degrees. Some years the date passes, and it is not until the day later, or even weeks later, that the significance of that date is remembered. Other years you remember it every moment of that day, and the days, and even weeks, surrounding the date.

This year was a little of both.

It was Thursday, January 20, and my family was having a jovial, sarcastic, humorous dinner together (in other words … a ‘normal’ dinnertime). As we were laughing, eating, re-creating the events of the day and sharing plans for the day to come, I stated “I can’t wait for tomorrow, I get to go to chapel!” You see I work in a Christian high school, and every Friday morning our school has ‘chapel’. I enjoy chapel, but I have not ever said that I was eager to go, so it was a rather odd statement for me to make.

The next day, Friday, January 21, I filed into the gym, with about five hundred other staff and students, as well as parents. I was feeling pretty good that day. Eager for a good work day, and for a time of school community worship.

The music began, and it was okay … nothing ‘wow’ish’, but it was good.

Following the worship time, and a few announcements, the speaker for the morning was introduced, a local pastor. I didn’t know him, had no connection to him. He started with prayer, and then addressed the scriptural reference point that he would be focusing on as he spoke … Matthew 6:19-24

… and my heart stopped

… and my palms became wet

… and my throat became so dry

… and my mind raced … what is today’s date?

… and I remembered …

… and tears fell against my will.

The reason for the emotional and physical reactions to the mention, and then reading of that scripture is that one night, as I slept, after the loss of our first child, I had a dream. The dream was of a man, I do not remember what he looked like, but I knew, with everything within me, that it was Jesus. And, in the dream, I handed a baby to Him … our baby. And Jesus looked into the wrapped up child, and His eyes were riveted to the tiny babe, and He smiled … that wonder-filled smile that we all smile, when we gaze into the face of creation. And then He looked at me, with such love, such compassion, such comfort, and He said “I will take care of your treasure for you, until you return. While you have this treasure, with me, in heaven, your heart will be here too.”

And, the dream was over.

And I opened my Bible, and found the passage, Matthew 6:19-21. And I knew that God had given me the confidence of His care for our child, and the promise that we would one day meet, and the comfort of knowing that our child was in even better hands, in heaven, than he or she would ever have on earth (even though we loved that child so much).

And that, for all of my days, I would live my life with my heart focused on the treasures that await me in heaven. And that our three earthly children would grow up knowing that as much as we, their parents, love them … God, in heaven loves them even more.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,

where moths and vermin destroy,

and where thieves break in and steal.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,

where moths and vermin do not destroy,

and where thieves do not break in and steal.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Matthew 6:19-21

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A Spectrum of Colors

Posted in canada, life, Nature/Creation, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Hope, House for Sale, Rainbows, Wonder on June 22, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I can only remember seeing one rainbow, as a child. I know they occurred more often, I just am too archaic to remember seeing them! Or maybe, as a child there are so many wonders that catch your eye, a rainbow is just not all that exciting?

There is something about rainbows, about the wonder associated with them. They give hope.

There are two associations with rainbows that are most common. One is the association with a pot of treasure at one end of it. The other is that from the Biblical story of Noah, and the flood, and how the vision of the rainbow was one of hope of the future.

About eight years ago, I/we had an encounter with a rainbow.

You need a bit of background …

We were living in a great neighborhood, with great neighbors. But my house ‘wanderlust’ had set in … okay, that is wrong … MY house wanderlust is always present. Anyway hubby and I were away for a weekend in March … just the two of us (so sweet … and, although we were just away not even a month ago, I am ready to go again … my, I know how to digress!). While we were away, I made a declaration, “we need to find a place to live that is a refuge for you. A place where you can rest, relax, and ‘get away’ from the stresses of life.”

I can only think of three to four times in our marriage when I have made ‘a declaration’. And each time I did so, my jaw dropped, as I ‘heard’ what my mouth said, because it was not a thought that I had previously entertained. It was as though the words of my mouth were inserted by someone else.

A few weeks later, hubby and I agreed to ‘just look’ at a house that I loved. But when hubby called the realtor, it had already sold. So, hubby, decided to inquire about another, and got a date to go view it.

I was NOT excited to see this house. It was west coast contemporary … blech! I come from the east where houses are old and character-filled … contemporary might as well be the f-word in my mind. And worse, when we pulled up to the house, it was perched on a driveway, so steep, I was sure if a car was parked horizontally on it, it would tip over! But I LOVED the neighborhood! Less than eighty houses on tree-lined winding streets, with beautifully manicured lawns, tall trees, and all in a neighborhood that is so hidden away, there are people who have lived in our Township for many years that don’t even know it exists!

So, up the driveway we all (all five of us) climbed. Once at the top (and we caught our breath), we rang the doorbell, and were greeted by the realtor. We entered the house, and looked to the left, an enormous, but cozy, family room … I was adjusting to contemporary …

Then the rest of the house …

Then, the kids found the in-ground pool (which we more frequently call the albatross), and we saw the hot tub, and the so very secluded back yard!

We went back home, from this appointment to ‘just look’, with rose-colored glasses firmly on all five of our faces!

By 9pm, that night, we had hired a realtor, made an offer on the house, had it accepted, and had listed our own property …

(kids, this is NOT how to do this)

The decision was not an easy one, just an impulsive one. I remember so well hubby and I discussing what to do, and saying, ‘I just wish there could be … a rainbow in the sky … I don’t need writing in the sky, just a rainbow to indicate ‘go for it’ ” … but, alas nothing but clear blue sky. We went for it, anyway.

We had two conditions to the offer … one was a home inspection, and the other … selling our property.We were not worried about either. The inspection would be done by a professional, who we had used at an earlier time. The second should not have been an issue, because houses were selling before signs went up on the lawns! It was a sellers market, and we were confident!

The sign went up two days later, and the viewings began (and the fast food dinners began with the showings). After six days, we had had thirty-five showings, and our realtor wanted to sit down and talk (that is realtor talk for lets sit down and lower your price, because ten to fifty thousand dollars less off the selling price only affects him by ‘tens to hundreds’ of dollars … just sayin’). We sat down, and got the report. Our house was showing well, no negative comments, and priced well … this all sounded good. Then the predicted statement … ‘I think we should lower the price.’ But we were confident of our price, and held firm.

A week later, our resolve was weakening, as were were down to six weeks until closing, and the thought of living with two mortgages was unbearable.

Then, a last minute showing, where the realtor could not open the lock box, and we needed to let the viewers in, ourselves. They looked, they liked, and, by later that night, we had an offer … for the price we wanted 🙂

A couple of days later their home inspection, followed a few more days by the final paperwork!

We were cleaning up, after dinner, waiting for our realtor to come with that paperwork. As I rinsed the dishes I looked out to see a sun shower … such a cool thing to see! Then I ran to the front window (the one I had looked longingly out a couple of weeks prior, for my rainbow in the sky), confident that our ‘answer’ had arrived, and there it was … big and bright with one end near our home, and the other going in the direction of our new home.

I admit, despite the snickers of my kids (who have compared me to the ‘double rainbow’ guy from the world popular YouTube video … how many hours of combined labor did I go through to push their fat heads out into this world?), that I love rainbows. I love their colors, I love the possibility of there being a double rainbow, I love the hope that is re-birthed in the end of the rains.

There is wonder in the appearance of a rainbow, and that wonder re-ignites an innocence within me that makes me feel fresh and clean, and new, and gives me hope for the future.

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Mom Führer

Posted in The Kids, WONDER, tagged iTunes, Music, Objectionable Lyrics, Teaching my Kids on June 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »

The content of music is something I can be downright Nazi-like about. Until our kids are in Middle School, and ask to, they are not encouraged to listen to radio. And it’s not just the song lyrics that make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight … it’s the advertising, and the R-rated host comments that really make me blush, with children in the vehicle.

Once they desire to hear more of the music of their generation, I give them a task. They need to find the lyrics of the song, and check them out to see if I would okay them … most of the time, their own perusing eliminates their asking me about the song. But, when the lyrics have passed their eyes, they print the lyrics, and show me. Mom (aka Music Führer) then looks them over, with my kid, and we discuss any questionable content, together. Usually the questionable content is more to do with what is implied rather than the overt (ie. I HATE whining, and songs about women being used, and songs about men being put down).

Now, don’t go all gaga over this … there is very little that I nix. I am a lover of a huge variety of music from Christian, to Rock, to Instrumental, to Jazz, to Pop, to Indie, and, yes even a little … gulp Country. I am just NOT a lover of having my ears violated, or of having my kids think I condone that auditory violation.

In reality, it is a rare thing for ol’ Mom Führer to actually poo poo a song of their choice. I also put my money where my discerning mouth is. So as to encourage Huey, Dewey and Louie to not grow up thinking that I believe that all music of a certain genre is bad, or everything produced by a certain musician/group is bad, I not only allow them to buy what is okay or good, but I pay for it. From our family, iTunes has made a butt load of bucks. You see I figure there are some CD’s that have questionable content, but some of it is okay, so, this way our kids have had the freedom to have the okay or good, without the negative or bad … and to honor them for respecting my music rules, they get music at MY cost.

This is an arrangement that has worked well for our family. But the best part of it is when recently, my fourteen year old was listening to music with me, in the car. And I say to her, “I LOVE this song” (as I’m doing my ‘car dance’). And she replies, “Mom, do you know what the lyrics of that song are?” I am thrilled to have them teach me a thing or two, and to point out when I am not practicing what I preach! To me, that is the best!

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Just the way You Are

Posted in life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Bruno Mars, Concert, Daughters, Just the Way You Are, Life on June 6, 2011| 2 Comments »

Tonight my daughters and I had a ‘girl date’ with Bruno Mars. This is the concert that has altered the schedule of the NHL playoffs 😀 Kind of increased our giggly enjoyment!

The tickets were purchased as birthday gifts to my now fourteen year old, and my ‘to be’ nineteen year old. The three of us have never gone to a concert … just us, so it was fun and exciting.

So to the concert we went.

The sun was shining (and, considering our wet and cold spring … that was a near miracle), and the traffic insane (but that is ALWAYS the case in the Lower Mainland of BC). We made a stop at Ikea for a cheap dinner 😀 (it always tastes better when it is cheap!), and for a bit of window shopping (something only a girl can understand … hubby writes a list, goes where he will find what he wants, pick it out, pays for it, and goes home … b o r i n g !).

We parked, walked along the shining waters of False Creek, laughing and giggling … mostly about ourselves and about boys … any boys … their brothers, their dad, boys at school, boys doing bike and skateboard ‘tricks’ in front of us as we walked.

We arrived as the first musician was performing … he was great! He sang mostly 80’s music … I loved it … the girls rolled their eyes.

The second opening act was Janelle Monae … you might have heard her song Tightrope on the Chevrolet Cruze advertisements. During her entire performance I felt as though I was at a Mardi Gras party in New Orleans! She is an amazing performer!

Then, Mr. BM (my daughters just DID NOT find my calling him a BM … bowel movement … funny at all) hit the stage! WOW! He was great! He wooed the crowd of many … not sold out, but many loud, fun-loving people. The age range of attendees was, from my vantage point, from about three years old to over seventy.

Bruno had a great stage performance, with fantastic and energetic musicians along with him.

The girls and I danced and sang along with Bruno … we clapped, we swayed they swooned (because he was, of course, singing only to them). We had a super evening of girl-time.

Mr. Mars (and, of course, we are Ms. Venus) had a great concert (which started at 7:30, and didn’t end until 11pm). That doesn’t mean I give him a thumbs up when it comes to all that he produces … but I also don’t choose to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Although his ‘Grenade’ song seems self sacrificial, it also seems he needs to get a grip on the reality that ‘his’ girl just isn’t his! And, although it might be quite tame (and nothing like some songs lyrics of terrible violations of others), ‘Our First Time’, is not the message I want my girls to fall for, in real life.

What these questionable messages do provide is ample opportunity to discuss how we each hear those lyrics, what we each believe about the messages, and the good, bad and the ugly of what many in our society believe to be ‘normal’, ‘common’ and ‘real.’ Those conversations can be worth the cost of admission!

So, today as I don’t feel like doing anything (I just want to lay in my bed) … I am just thankful that my two daughters, even at fourteen and eighteen, are willing to go have an evening with their out-of-date momma. It was more like a gift TO me.
“When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl(s) you’re amazing
Just the way you are”