Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Aging’ Category

Just writing the word dreaming makes my mind begin to sing that The Mamas & The Papas 1970s hit California Dreamin’ (and now yours is too).

Maybe not California, but I have had my fair share of travel dreams in recent months. It is hard to dream of travel when you don’t know when it will be wise to do so again.

In these pandemic days (and nights) dreaming is a key to unlocking our unfulfilled wishes from travel, to physically attending church, to dinner parties, to greeting family and friends with a hug.

Hum … those dreams sound rather different from what we might have been dreaming a year ago, before the pandemic required changes in our daily lives.

I was thinking of dreams the other day. Dreams that were, at one time, hopes for my life.

When I was in high school I dreamed of being an adult, having a job, getting married, having children. As time moved on I dreamed of seeing new sights, owning a home, having a pet, travelling with our kids. Then came the years of what I would call the more dreams … more income, more house and yard, more travel, more things. As I look back at those years I see cracks that had results that put previous dreams in peril.

We do have to be careful about what we wish and dream … for we are revealing our hearts in our desires.

The other day I realized my dreaming for the future had slowed from earlier years. Mine is not a stage in life for attaining, reaching as in earlier years. Yet I realized that I was missing the joy and anticipation, the forward-thinking that comes from dreaming.

“‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” Acts 2:17

I want to grow old dreaming dreams. I want to awaken in the morning with hopes and goals, with a direction to be working toward. I want the prayers of my lips to be whispers of the desires of my heart, staying close to God, so that my desires line up with His.

Read Full Post »

“Just linger for a moment or two” I heard myself say. “Carole, you’ve gotta learn to linger.”

Five years ago, life was different.

Our oldest daughter was preparing to her first apartment, next daughter was living at home while studying at a local university and our youngest was still in high school, where I worked. We lived in a large home, on a sizeable property that demanded of us constantly. Hubby worked nowhere near just a forty hour work week as a pastor in a local church and his job trickled down into seen and unseen responsibilities for myself. It was our first year in a few with no International students as part of our home and family.

I was tired, perpetually tired.

It seemed that I was constantly in demand, in motion. I was either cooking, or driving, or working, or weeding …

and now …

life is different.

Our oldest two daughters are out on their own, our son still mostly living at home, sometimes working out of town, currently working locally. I still work the same hours, but it’s different. Hubby no longer working over full time as a pastor, now working a couple of part time positions. We sold our large property for a townhouse close to everything.

Life is … simpler, quieter, less demanding.

But, learning to linger … it does not come natural after years of living based on the urgent. The growing pains from a life of busy to less slow are very real.

In my adjustments to this new way of life and living, I am beginning to learn to linger … but it is a learning, a process of slowing oneself down.

It means pausing to smell the flowers, to listen, to ponder, to wonder.

It also means pausing in my day and lingering in the awareness of the presence of God. To put the book, the phone, the keys down … maybe even closing my eyes, and letting God know that I know he is right there, with me.


Read Full Post »

It’s when I see a leaf fall, flowers fade, the sunset after dinner, feel the chill in the morning air. Autumn is here in more ways than just the change of calendar … and I feel sad.

Autumn was once my favorite season, with it’s red leaves, sweater weather and talk of Thanksgiving. It is the season hubby and I met and were married, the season when two of our three were born. It was my favorite season …

Then, for some reason, unknown to me, I began to see it, not as the start of something new, but the end of something loved.

Don’t get me wrong, I do still take delight in the cool breeze and changes in the color of the leaves, but … the seasonal change … it also seems to herald endings.

The older I get the more I embrace the heat of summer, daylight stretching into the night, bare feet, leisure time.

I recently read a verse that made me ponder these feelings about the autumn.

“And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither and whatever he does will prosper.” Psalm 1:3

Maybe that is it … maybe it’s the withering that is partially to blame for my apathy towards this once favorite seasonal change. Maybe I am starting to see myself as withering and fruitless.

It is so easy to feel less fruitful once the house is quiet of the daily noise of kids in the house. It can feel a bit like you’re a leaf that was blown off the tree.

Yet, if my hope is in God, if I stay planted near him (in prayer and in reading of his word), this Psalm assures me that I will still produce fruit in my life, still be used by him to do his will.

A number of days ago, hubby was beckoned to an elderly lady. Originating from Southeast Asia, Canada has been her home for many years. Now into her nineties, she spends her days praying.

all. day. every. day.

This is what she says is her calling, her purpose … and she fulfills it beautifully.

When hubby walked to her, she said, “I am going to pray for your family” and immediately proceeded to do just that.

“It was just beautiful. Something so special,” he said, when he told me at home later.

This woman, though very much withered physically, has stayed near the living water and she has not withered in spirit or purpose one bit. She is still, very much, producing fruit.

Kinda makes me want to go play in the leaves.

Read Full Post »

The sun shone, blue skies for miles, light breeze in the air … a smile crept across my face … contentment … not just contentment, for there was something else in the air.

Every year I feel it creep into my being. In the midst of the dog days of summer, in the midst of the season of rest and recreation, in the midst of everyday life slowing down, like a comma in a sentence …

the calendar turns to August
and I hold my breath

Like the grim reaper holding a sign declaring that “the end is nigh” the calendar reminds me that summer’s end is just around the corner.

Rest and frivolity, summer’s sun and warmth, watching the flowers grow and change each day, sunsets of bended and scattered light, coffee dates filled with laughter and evenings without a care for the morning alarm. These will largely come to their seasonal end, replaced with work and schedules and structure.

In recent years this turn of calendar page reminds me of change of season in broader sense. It reminds me that my life, in it’s natural ebb and flow, is migrating from summer to autumn. Perhaps, if I were honest with myself, I would acknowledge that it has already moved into that third season. That there is but one season left … not yet there, but I can see it …

and I hold my breath

But, for today I will stop and smell those summer roses, declaring boldly carpe diem, as I seize this day … after all, YOLO (you only live once).

Read Full Post »

My Pastoral Ponderings

Pondering my way through God's beloved world

itsawonderfilledlife

looking for wonder in everyday life

What Are You Thinking?

Theology is life. Learn to live well.

Sealed in Christ

Sixth Seal Ministries

Amazing Tangled Grace

A blog about my spiritual journey in the Lord Jesus Christ.

FisherofMen

Giving a unique view and input on information to help individuals establish a concrete perspective on terms, words, topics and the world around them.

Following the Son

One man's spiritual journey

Fortnite Fatherhood

A father's digital age journey with his family and his faith

Raise Them Up

Parenting with Purpose

Frijdom

encouraging space to think deeply

Life- All over the map

A family journey through childhood cancer and around the world

A L!fe Lived

seeking the full life that only Jesus offers

J. A. Allen

Scribbles on Cocktail Napkins