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Support Beyond a Bra

Posted in women, WONDER, tagged #loveoneanother, #riskofbeingreal, #SAD, #support, #supportbeyondabra, #toknowwearenotalone, #vulnerability, #wearenotalone, #womensupportingwomen on January 21, 2022| Leave a Comment »

It’s risky … trying to be real, telling the truth, showing weakness, being vulnerable … not saying “fine” to most asked question (how are you?).

And, let’s face it … we cannot be that real, that risky, with just anyone. For not all souls are comfortable, ready to hear and see and feel for themselves, the truth within another.

Last week I agonized about sharing a realty for me. Would it be

too much?
too whiny?
too downcast?
too … real?

I agonized to the point of praying about it for a significant amount of time.

But, in the end I kept coming back to the same small voice in my head,

if it is something you struggle with, Carole,
maybe there is someone out there with the same struggle
and …
to know we are not alone can be the most encouraging message to hear.

So, with an ample amount of chagrin, I wrote and posted Cry Me an Atmospheric River.

And the pms and dms and emails began to pour in …

messages of encouragement, understanding, but also of common experience with the dark days of winter. Some stated they didn’t share the same winter blues, but that they were praying. Another asked my mailing address and then proceeded to mail to me a lovely note that brought me to tears.

It reminded me that I am so blessed by the women who I call friends. It reminded me to that it is the simple, easy and inexpensive efforts that mean the most. That I need to remember to send messages that simply say, thinking of you, for, doesn’t it just send a shockwave of joy through our souls to know that we are being thought of? prayed for? appreciated? that someone cared enough to take the five minutes (tops) to send us a reminder that

we. are. not. alone.

May we support each other, holding each other up as we sag under the weight of life’s gravity. May we be the hands and feet of God himself, in watching over each other.

I wish for my children
friends like the ones I’ve collected:
flawed and forgiving,
braced for laughter,
good huggers
whose words roll like water
to the places in me
I didn’t even know
were dry.
Samantha Reynolds

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Preach it, Mary

Posted in women, tagged #dowhateverhetellsyou, #famouslastwords, #maryslastwords, #preachitmary, #theweddingofcana, #trustandobey, #weddingmiracle on January 19, 2022| 4 Comments »

As I listened to a reading of a text on Sunday, I was startled with a new realization.

If you are one who has reads the Bible you know, like me, that there will be epiphany moments like this one. Moments when a familiar text will suddenly pop with understanding, meaning and perspective that you have never understood before.

That was the case when John 2:1-12 was read.

This text is John’s telling of the miracle of water being turned into wine. It is the first recorded miracle that Jesus performed, so it is often looked at, studied in depth … for we humans know that firsts and lasts hold great value and meaning.

So, there is this wedding that is attended by Jesus, his disciples and Mary his mother. The wedding celebrations are going on for days as this is a middle eastern wedding.

At some point Mary comes to Jesus, alerting him to the fact that the wine had run out. Jesus responds as one might expect any son to his mother … “so, why are you telling me this?” But then he continues, and I love how the Contemporary English Version puts it,

Jesus replied, “Mother, my time hasn’t yet come! You must not tell me what to do.” (v.4)

I don’t know about any of you who are also mothers, but I can almost hear an eye roll in that response!

Then, without any further interaction between mother and son, Mary just makes a decision in her next words …

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

She didn’t wait for her son to give in, didn’t wait for him to take the first step.

In my minds eye, when I read this passage, I see her standing beside her son, bending down to his ear, letting him in on the news of the wine being used up. As he speaks to her, telling her that she musn’t tell him what to do … I see her stand, walking directly to servants, who were standing on the periphery of the room. As she reaches them, she looks directly into their eyes, with the force and confidence that might normally be unseen in such patriarchal society, by a woman, a guest …

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

And so they do. And so Jesus instructs them on the making of a miraculous recipe for the best of wine.

“Do whatever he tells you“

These are the last recorded words of Mary, the mother of Jesus, in the Word of God. Though we know she is present at numerous other events written in the Gospels, not once, not even at the cross, do we read her words.

These words, spoken to servants at a wedding … they are the big idea, her main message … to US.

She is telling us, today, wherever we may live, Do whatever he tells you and …

he will do miracles

he will turn ordinary into extraordinary

he will create the best things ever made

he will use you to do his will

This is her message, to us, today. It is not just a message at a middle eastern wedding many years ago. For, if it were, I am not sure that her words would have been recorded. No, they are there, within the Word of God because the message still has relevance today. These words still speak … to us.

So, today, as we go about our servant work, as we go about the mundane in our life and living, remember Mary’s message to you (and me),

do whatever he tells you

and await the miracles.

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Hope Jar

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #goodthingsahead, #hope, #hopejar, #itreallyisawonderfullife, #lookbackandremember, #lookingbackandsmiling on January 4, 2022| 4 Comments »

Though the new year is days past and many are returning to the regular things of life, my mind has been spinning about an idea I heard.

The thing is, I heard it more than once, from more than one source. The only thing that connects all the sources of this idea is that they were human souls … not lifestyle, not age, not financial wealth (or lack thereof) in common … just a heartbeat …

but … maybe that is because this idea is … primitive, coming from a common human need …

hope.

I think that maybe, in our human rush to pack Christmas away (even before it has ended) we often pack the hope that advent whispered to us in early December. As though it is not in season at any other time.

Yet, hope is always a hot commodity. It is always sought for. Always, always, always, needed.

Because, when the joys of the season pass, when the minimalistic decor that is all the trend leaves us feeling cleaned up of … everything,

we still need hope,

heaps and heaps of

the encouragement, the confidence, the acceptance,

the giggle in our bellies,

the spark in someone’s eyes,

the dream that feels like reality when we awake.

When we awake and feel …

a. l. i. v. e.

unlike ever before.

The feeling, the knowing,

that our every breath is good, and planned and meaningful.

The hope that it gets

better,

but, more than that,

that. we. are. not. alone.

So …

get a jar from your cupboard,

get a bowl from the thrift store, the department store, the designer home store,

and start writing your own news.

This year, start the with an empty jar and fill it with notes about good things that happen, throughout the year. Then, on New Years Eve, 2022, empty it and see what amazing, memorable, joyful, loving things happened this year. I think we might have a New Years filled with good memories and real hope for the future.

you in?

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A Flood of Thoughts

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #afloodofthoughts, #burdenbearers, #burdenbearing, #carryeachothersburdens, #loveoneanother, #thelawofchrist on November 19, 2021| 1 Comment »

In our neck of the woods things have been saturated by rain.

This has caused drains to back up, basements to flood, land to give way, livelihoods gone amuck, transportation to be cut off and lives lost.

Currently I am watching the time. For the police detachment in the area (once a lake, before dykes and pumps) of the most significant flooding, will soon be updating the public on the situation. Last night words like escalated, significant risk to life and catastrophic were used to describe the situation.

Our hearts are heavy.

Heavy for the those who mourn, who are hurting, who do not know what tomorrow brings.

As I sat at my desk, in these early morning hours on Wednesday, I glanced out the window. Though the image (above) just doesn’t do it justice, the light creeping up the horizon was glorious. The colors streaked across the sky grew, blazing in pinks, oranges, reds.

I smiled wide, took a big lung-cleansing breath.

As I absorbed the beauty of this new morning, this dry morning, I felt lighter, momentarily relieved of the constant whispering of my soul for those affected by the devastation of flood waters.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

Burden bearing … it is what we, who are Christ-followers have been instructed to do, on behalf of those who carry a weight too heavy for them to manage on their own. And so we take them meals, or send money to charitable organizations, or fill sand bags, or help them get their livestock to dry ground … or (and we all are asked of this) we lift them and their heavy burdens up to God, letting them rest in his hands.

in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ

As I dove into commentaries and writings by modern Biblical scholars, I saw that there are variations about what this law of Christ might refer to. Some thinking it refers to the Mosaic Law or the New Covenant expressed in the Sermon on the Mount.

As I read I could only come to one conclusion (and I am no expert or theologian) … the law of Christ is the new commandment that he gave his disciples. Those in the upper room on his last night, those of us who follow Him today:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:34-35

As we, who follow Christ, bear the burdens of those who suffer, we are fulfilling the law, the life of Jesus Christ. We are his hands and feet. We are the sharers of the Good News.

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They Desire a Better Country

Posted in canada, life, WONDER, tagged #cityofgod, #gustavholst, #ivowtotheemycountry, #remembranceday, #sacrifice, #servicetocountry, #servicetogod, #silence, #theydesireabettercity, #theydiedasanactoflove, #theydiedforwhatweasanationcanbe on November 11, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Silence …

That is the most powerful part of a Remembrance Day service, for me. When I and those around me submit collectively to our thoughts about this day, it’s significance, those souls for whom the day honors.

In my thoughts, I will drift to my own children, thankful they have not been forced to decide upon such a high risk commitment. I will drift to those in ages past, within my family, who answered such a call … and the price that generations since have paid, for traumas unattended. Then, as if something visceral leads my eyes, I look around the cenotaph for those who have served … often frail, wrinkled … those standing often utilizing every bit of energy left within them … as if standing, not for their own memories, not for their own honor, but for those whose lives were snuffed out … in front of them.

There is a song I hear, often in our home. A song of commitment to one’s country. A song of honor to those who have gone before, who sacrificed their best, their own breath, for country. Not the place, for that is just sod and biology, but for the souls who make a country living, whole.

They did not die without reason. Nor did they die for a nation who imperfectly, embarrassingly has been corrupt in it’s treatment of others (Aboriginal, women, disabled, ‘different that us’).

They died for what we as a nation can be!
They died for the possibilities.
They died in an act of love.

For love is not about the one being loved, but the commitment of the lover to love without limit.

The beautiful, haunting hymn, A Vow to Thee My Country, was originally called, Urbs Dei (“The City of God”). It is a love song of allegiance to Two Fatherlands (another title for the original poem).

The first stanza focusing on a very Remembrance Day theme of loyalty to one’s earthly home (country).

I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,
Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love;
The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,
That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;
The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,
The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice.

The second stanza, focusing on the source of such national love, that City of God. This stanza is the glue that keeps all expressions and commitments to love in focus. It speaks of the perfect peace found within her fortress walls, with the very King of this city. It is a place … but, not just a location, for it is a place one can be while on the battlefields … of war, of life. For the City of God can be with us, if we vow to her King.

And there’s another country, I’ve heard of long ago,
Most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know;
We may not count her armies, we may not see her King;
Her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering;
And soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
And her ways are ways of gentleness, and all her paths are peace.

And, in true Gustav Holst form, his composition (from his piece called Jupiter) provides measured moments of near silence for the depth of the words to be digested into your soul.

But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.
Hebrews 11:16

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Held in Your Hands

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #faithfulgod, #goodnessofgod, #heldinyourhands, #inthehandsofgod, #lovedbygod, #prodigalchild, #reallove on November 7, 2021| 3 Comments »

All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands …

I sang those words, driving down the road, top of my lungs, most sincerely from my heart.

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good

Then, out of nowhere that small, still voice …

the voice that challenges one’s intent, their heart.

Are you just singing these words out of
a good morning?
a good mood?
sun in the sky?

I know better than to just answer. I know that words are not enough … saying what I think is expected isn’t … expected of me.

And so I instantly, immediately pondered my life. The good, the bad and the ugly. I considered the failures, the weaknesses, the really horrible things, the heart-hurting things. The dangers walked into, the abuses committed, the rejections, disappointments.

Even for a Pollyanna like me, I cannot look clearly at my life and say I have always been protected, given what I need, or had it ‘easy’.

No God, I am not singing these words just because the sun is shining, or because I feel uncharacteristically well, or because the day started well.

Silence (other than the song playing on repeat).

*Don’t get me wrong, the questions I was ‘hearing’ … I was not hearing with my physical ears, but the ears of my heart.

The silence was long enough to cause me to feel discomfort.

Why are you singing these words, then?

The song kept playing, yet louder in my ears. The words echoing in my heart, as though He made them stand out to me, as though they were my most sincere reality. For, like the prodigal son, who, in desperation came home to the Father who he knew would hold his arms open. And what he was greeted with … was even better,

for the Father was running to the prodigal, running full out, his steps started even before he could see his son.

And my heart spoke, sang my answer to my Father:

Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
With my life laid down
I’m surrendered now
I give You everything
‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It keeps running after me

What is real goodness? What is real love?

It is to be loved even when we do the unlovable, when we speak the unlovable, when we choose the unlovable, when we live the unlovable life.

That is the real love.

That is the goodness of God.

A couple of days later,

the sun was hidden under dark clouds, wet skies.

the day just had little productivity to it.

the mood was as dark as the skies.

and the phone call brought unexpected, bad news.

And I hung up the phone and heard whispers in my heart that caused me sing out loud,

I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

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Stumbling in the Dark

Posted in life, tagged #badhabits, #humanbehavior, #iamthelightoftheworld, #stumblinginthedark, #whywalkinthedark on October 29, 2021| 4 Comments »

As I was walking down the stairs I came to the landing, but, because I was walking in the dark I paused, tentatively stretching my foot to see if I had indeed reached the landing or if I had one more to go.

Why was I stumbling in the dark?

Was the power out? No.

Was I trying to be stealthy? Ha! No.

Did I forget to turn the light on? No.

I was stumbling in the dark simply because that is the habit I have gotten into. At some point in my life I simply stopped turning lights on when walking through the house. It is a habit I continue today … one that is … stupid, possibly even harmful.

As I stretched my foot forward the other day a new thought emerged …

why do I walk in the dark,
when there is light at my fingertips?

Instantly I understood so much about myself, others, human behavior.

I saw, in my lifelong physical habit, the reason why we all stumble in spiritual darkness, even though the light of Christ is right there, illuminating our way through the life we live.

It’s habit.

It is simply what we do, over and over. Somehow a false sense of security comes from being blanketed in the dark we know … versus the light that is unfamiliar. Our eyes are closed by our routines. Our mind foggy with tradition. Our comings and goings shadowed by tradition.

We choose to walk in the dark, until …
one day, light a lightbulb going on in our minds,
we open our eyes
and see that there can be light in our life.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said,
“I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness,
but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12

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Running Out of Time

Posted in Aging, life, WONDER, tagged #aging, #godiswithus, #lifespurpose, #purposeinbeingwithgod, #purposeinlife, #runningoutoftime, #wearewithhimheiswithus on October 24, 2021| Leave a Comment »

For some birthdays are frightening, depressing or discouraging. This reality has made the makers of lotions, surgeries and self help books wildly wealthy.

Aging has never been a thorn in my flesh. Birthdays come and go, as do wrinkles, coarse hair (covered by my lovely stylist) … and, speaking of hair, I no longer pluck my eyebrows, but I am constantly discovering them on my chin (often long enough to put in a ponytail by the time I notice them).

For me, the greys can still be covered, the wrinkles make me smile and the hairs on my chinny chin chin … they get plucked.

I have a hope for my future, alive or dead, and an appreciation for each moment I have breathed.

Don’t get me wrong, if I were given a fatal diagnosis, I would sob my eyes out and I would feel fear and sorrow. But death is not my greatest fear as I rapidly move through this autumn of my life.

My greatest angst about aging is quite simple, that …

I am running out of time.

Time to do all the things, travel to all the places, spend time with the people, try the new experiences, share the love of God, time to live … to really, fully, intentionally, live this one magnificent and glorious gift of a life that I have been given.

I don’t want to waste a moment!

Sometimes the urgency within me to do all the things resembles one who scurries in a state of constant activity powered by something deep within.

But, now in my fifties there is a new factor that is irritating me … fatigue. This fatigue does not whisper, take a break, but stops me in my tracks, holding my mind and body ransom so that I no longer can do that one more thing. This only increases my passion to not waste the days, the hours, the moments I have been given.

“Lord, life is going by so fast!
It frightens me unless I remember your eternity.
We are as rootless as tumbleweeds
and will be blown about all our lives unless you are our dwelling place.
In you we are home.
What I have in you I can never lose and will have forever.
I praise you for this unfathomable comfort.
Amen.
Tim Keller

These words of Keller stopped me the other day. They reminded me that my purpose is not just doing, but being.

They are the truthful assurance of eternity, for those of us who have submitted to the will of God. They are the reminder that it is in Him we have our foundation, our roots. They are the reminder that even during times of fatigue, we are with Him and He is with us and in that here we also have purpose.

“I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills His purpose for me.”
Psalm 57:2

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Breathing Out the Past

Posted in Aging, life, WONDER, tagged ##autumnisanexhale, #breathingoutthepast, #ebenezerlivnig, #exhale, #godisgoodallthetime, #lifegoeson on October 15, 2021| 2 Comments »

I have always adored autumn. The colors of the leaves, the still bright skies, the sunrises and sunsets, the chill in the air as the day winds down.

As I drove down the highway the other day I was mesmerized by the beauty of day, of everything I could see.

As often said at this time of year, autumn’s trees reminds us that there is beauty in letting go.

I think autumn is an exhale …

After the newness and freshness of spring …

After the refreshment and reconstruction of summer …

Autumn is the experience of lung cleanings that are exhaled in thanks, in appreciation for the sunshine that might not return tomorrow, in recognition that this beauty will fade so we must be present in it now. It is acknowledgement that dark days are coming, but choosing to not let that reality steal from today.

Until the winter rains fall, until the chill moves into our bones, until the grass withers, the flowers fade and the final leaf falls …

“All people are like grass,
and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”
Isaiah 40:6-8

Autumn reminds me that it keeps going on … nature, beauty, hope, life. The circle of life has no dark corners, no exit ramp, but that which God gives existence is kept alive in the seeds He plants within each living thing.

There is an autumn in life, as well. A season to exhale the past … joys and sorrows, growing and being cut down, things learned, memories made. We can pause in this autumn of life and see the beauty in our lives. We can look back, as though from a higher vantage point and survey how the many pieces of our lives fit together … that which was never present in the moment. We can exhale in understanding and acceptance that we are no longer in the spring or summer of our lives … and that is okay.

As we look over our lives, we can walk confidently into the next season, knowing that those pieces too will fit together … that we never walk alone.

We may feel as though we are withering, but really … we are doing the good work of dropping seeds into the ground, for many seasons to come.

I love these words of Beth Moore:

Thought I’d raise a little Ebenezer today. In a brutal time, Samuel set up a memorial stone & named it Ebenezer saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”
Ebenezer living is a heaven-raised gaze. Alert & deliberate daily dependence.
Of morning by morning.
Of Give us this day.
Of Today, if you hear his voice.
Ebenezer living is standing in the present moment, aware & awed that here we are, still alive and kicking and kept by God amid a fierce battle or in the wake of a season when we had no clue what we were going to do or how we’d get through.
Thus far my aging hand is still in Keith’s.
Thus far I can still lend some help.
Thus far I can get out of bed, walk dogs. Go to work.
Thus far I still enjoy things like the way a leaf rocks gently in the air, a lullaby, falling to the earth.
That’s far I still believe Jesus died and rose again and, because he did, I am changed & ever changing.
Thus far I still believe in the communion of saints & the fellowship of sacred joys and suffering.
Thus far I still bear my children close and have them in my heart though miles stretch wide between us.
Thus far, brothers & sisters, that which we thought would kill us
didn’t.
The world that we thought would fill us
didn’t.
The Lord who we thought might forget us
hasn’t.
The devil we thought would destroy us
couldn’t.
Here we raise our Ebenezer.
Thus far the Lord.

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If you don’t believe as I do …

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #christdiedfortheungodly, #disagreements, #humansouls, #ifyoudontbelieveasido, #loveoneanother, #manypartsofonebody, #rejection, #weneedeachother on October 12, 2021| Leave a Comment »

If you don’t believe as I do …
then don’t talk to me,
don’t share my space.
For I do not want you in my space,
where I have to hear something
I do not agree with.
I don’t want you in my life.
If you don’t believe as I do …
then you are ignorant, uneducated, brainless.
For you don’t think as I do,
the only right way.
Me

Scrolling through social media for more than a second will convince us that the above words are the beliefs of many who post on such media platforms.

To me, such attitudes are far more dangerous to our societies, to the very survival of the human race than any far left or far right attitudes … for to reject each other based on our different perspectives is shallow, impulsive and a premeditated abandonment of a fellow human soul whose worth is, has never been and will never be based on our thoughts, attitudes or even behaviors.

I fear we are losing our grip on the value of our fellow humans, on human life itself.

To believe in the value of human life is love one another, as Christ loves us. This is the Good News of the Gospel. This is what can save our human race … it is the only thing that can. He does not love us because we agree with Him, because we do what He says, because we have it all together. As a matter of fact, He loves us in spite of the reality that don’t do or say or think as He does.

In Romans 5 we are reminded that Christ died for us, the ungodly … and this applies to us all … wherever our thinking and opinions and actions lie. Who that we know (including ourselves) will sacrifice … not for those closest, but for those who are so far on the ‘opposite’ side of whatever ideology we might hold to be true?

What brings us together … our human souls and the One who created us … is greater than what divides us. Perhaps we ought to water rather than cut down?

Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.
Romans 12:3-5

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