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Come Hell or High Water

Posted in life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #comehellorhighwater, #forgettingwhatispast, #foriamabouttodosomethingnew, #momentum, #newbeginnings, #newyear, #pressontowardthegoal, #whatisahead on January 6, 2019| Leave a Comment »

“Forgetting what is behind
and straining toward what is ahead”
Philippians 3:13

When one considers a new year, the verse (above) is a good place to start.

As we begin a new year, “forgetting what is behind” can be so helpful. We need to forget the frustrations, the failures, the events that caused us hurt, anger or sorrow.

It is a good time to forgive those who “trespassed against us” … leave those offences in the past, so that they do not follow us into the new year. If the trespasses are ours, it might be beneficial to make apologies, restitutions. Do something that can close the door on the indiscretions of the past year. If it is to forgive, then forgive. If it is to apologize, then do that … and move on from the past.

To “strain toward what is ahead” is all about momentum.

Momentum is “the strength or force that allows something to continue or to grow stronger or faster as time passes” (Merriam Dictionary) and that is exactly what we need as we move, forward, into a new year, new week, new day.

To grow stronger, to move faster means face forward, feet forward, moving forward … straining toward what is ahead. Straining like a runner in a race, not looking back, not checking to see where we are in the pack, but moving forward, determined to make it to the finish …

As we move forward, there will be times when we are in unfamiliar territory, when the demons of the past whisper discouragements into our souls, when it is simply a struggle to keep pursuing our path. It is then that we need the reminder of the next verse in Philippians 3:

“I press on toward the goal
to win the prize
of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus”
Philippians 3:14

The reminder of this verse is that our pursuit is for a goal which has been seeded by God himself, and if he places the seed within us, well, it will grow … come hell or high water.

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The Hand of God

Posted in life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #fearoftheunknown, #godknows, #newyear, #putyourhandintogods, #thegateoftheyear, #thehandofgod on January 3, 2019| Leave a Comment »

Walking into the new year is kind of like standing at the mouth of a cave. You cannot see how deep it is, for the darkness hides it’s path.Though your voice comes back to you in echoes, it is never discernible as to how far or through how many twists and turns into the cave it has travelled.

There is only one way to move through the cave … take a first step.

When we are faced with a long trek, with little knowledge of where we might end up, or what we might encounter on our way, we can be temporarily paralyzed by our fear of the unknown.

I was introduced to a poem, recently, that touched my experience of fear of the unknown, fear of making a mistake.

Written by Minnie Louise Haskins, it was read by King George VI in his Christmas Day message in 1939, as the world feared the beginning of another war. Though Ms. Haskins titled it, “God Knows” it has become more commonly known as “The Gate of the Year.”

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied,
“Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!”

I know that, for me, I can be so cautious that I do not move forward at all. Yet, I live with the certainty that I never take a step alone, that I always have the support, the protection and the companionship of God himself.

As we move into the uncertainties of a new year, may be put our hands into the hand of God.

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Golden Opportunities

Posted in life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #anewyear, #dountoothers, #goldenopportunities, #happynewyear, #newyear, #newyearday, #newyearsresolutions, #resolutions, #thegoldenrule on January 1, 2019| Leave a Comment »

There’s barely yet time to have made any mistakes.

The new year has arrived in the midst of festive partiers, snoring grampas, stormy seas, soft fallen snow …

It has arrived. With it comes the temptation to make plans and promises, vows and verdicts, restorations and resolutions.

We make lists, and choose a word, and make dedications and say prayers … all in the act of making promises for this new year.

What if we just start with today,
followed by tomorrow,
each day vowing to
live the opportunities
that we are given?

What if we get to know the name of our daily barista, cashier, janitor or garbage man, our neighbour? and say it when we speak to them.

What if, rather than rant on social network about how the government treats refugees, veterans, women, homeless … we roll up our sleeves and do what we want the government to do?

What if, rather than complain about our jobs, we look our co-workers, our boss in the eye and say I am so thankful for you, for this place to earn my living?

What if, rather than complain about how little is done around the house by our kids, our spouse, we look them in the eyes and say thanks when we catch them doing something?

What if, rather than complain about men, women, millennial, seniors or children, we just treat all people as we would like to be treated?

What if we just live this year with one goal, a one-item list, and re-live it each day of the year, as each day provides us opportunities to fulfill it?

“In everything,
treat others as you would want them to treat you”
Matthew 7:12

There can be no greater goal, no better rule, than that which is gold.

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It Really is a Wonderful Life

Posted in FAMILY, life, WONDER, tagged #annushorribilis, #annusmirabilis, #auldlangsyne, #georgebailey, #itsawonderfullife, #newyears, #newyears2018, #nomanisafailurewhohasfriends on December 30, 2018| Leave a Comment »

Thirty years ago, when dating a charming young man, I was introduced to the film, It’s a Wonderful Life, starring Donna Reed and James Stewart.

I was captivated by the story of George Bailey’s life. A simple, relatable, regular and seemingly boring life, George encounters something he cannot fix or undo (something that was not even his fault, yet, because he was a man of integrity, he took personal responsibility for). It seems there is only one option … to end his life.

For fear of ruining the story for anyone who has not experienced this movie, I will cease my retelling.

In 1992, at a formal function, Queen Elizabeth II referred to that year, for her personally, as an annus horribilis, which is Latin for horrible year. As I have reflected on the past year (for each of the members of my family), I (we) might be inclined to echo the words of Her Majesty.

Then, I was reminded of the ending scene of the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. George Bailey is standing in his living room, surrounded by family and friends, and the well-wishes of friends that could not be physically present.

It is then that George sees a book … when he opens it up, inscribed on the inside cover is the following:

Those words of Clarence, “remember no man is a failure who has friends” are the words that can turn an annus mirabilis to a annus mirabilis … a wonderful year.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give me a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

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Cheesecake with God’s Own

Posted in life, Walking with God, tagged #biblememory, #cheesecakewithgodsown, #doit, #homelessness, #john316, #lowereastside, #smallthingswithgreatlove, #teachthemtoyourchildren #john3:16, #youareasoul on December 27, 2018| Leave a Comment »

Though cheesecake is heavenly, and creamy mochas divine, I had no idea that I would be dining with God yesterday.

After purchasing a promised Christmas gift, my daughter and I wandered the streets, enjoying the sights of the downtown of the city. At eleven o’clock on Boxing Day, the streets were quiet, yet still festive.

As we crossed a street to walk through an artfully painted alley, a woman met us, telling her tale of woe … a poor sleep due to fear of a lady neighbour … and imploring us to buy her a coffee …

As my eyes looked behind the woman, dressed in dirty clothes, long sleeves under an aqua-colored men’s polo top, hair pulled back into a not-so trendy-looking ponytail, I noticed the more upscale cheesecake restaurant … one for date night, for trendy people looking for organic fare.

Immediately I said that of course we could buy her a coffee.

What followed was two of the sweetest hours, that rushed by in what seemed like seconds.

We encouraged her to choose whatever she wanted.

It would seem our new friend has a sweet tooth, so not just a coffee, but a mocha, topped with decadent whipping cream. Not just a savoury scone (what we shared), but a slice of mocha cheesecake.

She was careful to remember her manners (she mentioned this a couple of time).

Our conversation had to do with how it is what is on the inside of a person that matters. We laughed. We just chatted … like three old friends.

She told us about how she got from her small hometown of Sault Ste. Marie to Vancouver, with a boyfriend (now long gone). Of how she had never been beat up … until she got out of jail. How she had been clean for two days straight.

She told us about how she used to do competitions at her childhood church. That someone had stolen her Bible. Then she recited verses, long ago imprinted on her mind, her soul.

“Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 11:19

I started to say, “I bet I know one that you know …”

before I finished the sentence she was reciting John 3:16,

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him, will not perish, but have everlasting life.”

We continued our chatting, went to pick up some toiletries for her (my daughter jumped in to pay this time), then walked her back to her place.

How do I describe her ‘home’? There was table of clean needles in the entry, the dirt, the clientele with heads hanging (life wiped from their memory) … but it was warm, the manager at the desk seemed sincere, the lady across the hall who had crawled into her bed the night before when fear overtook her mind.

We exchanged hugs, and thanks for the chance to get to know each other.

As we walked the sidewalk to our vehicle, we wondered how she, any of them, might ever get clean in such a place, such a life. The problems are so much more complex than we like to think when we sit in our warm, and safe and color-co-ordinated homes.

I shared with my daughter something that I had once heard.

I am only responsible for the opportunities that God gives me to share in His care for his people. If I am asked for money, or food and if I give it, my gift might be wasted … but it also might not, and that is not my worry. My concern is simply will I respond? Will I give as the hands and feet of God?

As Mother Teresa was known to say, “we cannot all do great things, but we can all do small things with great love.”

I may never know if our friend makes it to three days clean, or if she slept safely that night, or if she will ever remember us … but we will never forget her, she has changed us, for we sat across a table from a beautiful soul, and we saw God in her eyes.

Gotta go … I have to mail a Bible to a friend.

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Forgiveness … it’s all Greek (and Hebrew) to Me

Posted in life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #bitterness, #forgiveness, #forgivenessitsallgreektome, #grudges, #inthepowerofgod, #letgoofhurt, forgivenessisdivine on November 26, 2018| 2 Comments »

“As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt.” The Mayo Clinic

Medicine and psychology would both encourage the benefits of the practise of forgiving. To do so can effect blood pressure, the immune system, as well as improve mental health, anxiety, stress and depression.

But, what does the Bible say?

When I began my study into Biblical forgiveness (a-lesson-in-forgiveness), I discovered that, on the surface, it was not as clear as I had always thought, particularly when I looked at the life story of Joseph, our man with the coat of many colours.

I decided I needed to understand the origins of forgiveness in Greek or Hebrew, in the various locations in the Bible where forgiveness is spoken of.

In Hebrew, there are three main words forgiveness is translated from. Kaphar, which means shelter or to atone. Naga’ is the most frequently translated word for forgiveness in the Bible, and it means to to lift up, as in the taking away of a burden.

Then there is salach, and it is special, for it is never used (biblically) for instances of human forgiveness. This is the forgiveness that only God can give … not only is forgiveness given, but it is as though the offence never happened (though the debt of it still had to be paid, but we do not pay this, for we cannot, only Jesus’ blood could pay that debt).

You and I cannot do this type of forgiveness.

In the Greek, the words used for forgiveness are aphesis means pardon, cancellation of a debt, apolyo which means set free, and charizomai meaning God’s freely given grace.

Then there is aphiemi which means to set free … it not only forgives, but erases or covers, as in Jeremiah 31:34:

“I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more”.

This is not forgiveness on our own strength, but through Christ, and it is ONLY through Christ that we can forgive others. It is a miraculous thing, not a mental one for there is nothing within us that can forgive. This supernatural action is what Philippians 2:13 declares:

“for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”

And this is the crux of forgiveness from a biblical perspective … it is only in in the power of God, that our human need to forgive is covered and a working of the divine makes our effort successful, setting not just our offender, but also ourselves free indeed.

We must forgive, because it is in our weakness that Christ’s strength transforms our forgiveness, our naga (taking away a burden) and makes it aphiemi (erased).

I love what John Steakhouse has said:

“To forgive does not mean to forget (in human terms). It does not mean to pretend that there is no debt, or that the debt is less than it actually is, or that the debt is somehow other than what it is. To forgive is to refuse to claim one’s just deserts. It is to surrender one’s rights, to move on without vengeance, retribution, or even simple justice. It is to generously draw a line under the debt and say, “That’s over. Let’s move on.”” And this is not something that can be done in our own strength, but only with and under the cover of Christ.

This story creates a beautiful illustration of the beauty of choosing forgiveness:

One day when Stan Mooneyham was walking along a trail in East Africa with some friends, he became aware of a delightful odor that filled the air. He looked up in the trees and around at the bushes in an effort to discover where it was coming from. Then his friends told him to look down at the small blue flower growing along the path. Each time they crushed the tiny blossoms under their feet, more of its sweet perfume was released into the air. Then his friends said, “We call it the forgiveness flower.” This forgiveness flower does not wait until we ask forgiveness for crushing it. It does not release its fragrance in measured doses or hold us to a reciprocal arrangement. It does not ask for an apology; it merely lives up to its name and forgives-freely, fully, richly. (from PreceptAustin.com)

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Jumping in Puddles

Posted in FAMILY, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged #everydayisthebestday, #jumpinginpuddles, #puddlejumping, #rememberingchildhood, #wonder, Childhood, Puddles on November 15, 2018| 2 Comments »

Recently one of my daughters and I went for a walk with the beast, on my favorite trail. It was not a bright sun-shiny day, but it was not raining, and in monsoon season here, that is great weather!

As we were coming to the end of our walk, there was a woman with a girl, who looked to be about four, coming towards us. As they were getting closer, I experienced a strong case of deja vu. The little girl, clad in a pink raincoat, and matching rain boots, was puddle jumping.

Immediately, I was carried back to the days when my own kids were preschoolers, out for a walk with the sole intend of puddle jumping after the rain stopped. I remembered the various rain boots and coats, the childish umbrellas, and … the smiles of delight as they approached a fresh, undisturbed puddle, as they plotted and planned how to move as much water as they could in one leap.

I remembered their wonder-filled smiles, and I felt that tug on my mama heart, that tug that said ‘I miss that’, ‘I long for that look, that feeling, again.’

Then I realized that my daughter, at my side, was taking the same wonder-filled delight in the experience that we were both observing. She is almost fifteen, and is all teenage girl. But she is not above the delightful moments of life. She is still filled with awe at the sight of a puddle and a pair of rubber boots. She is still filled with wonder.

Sometimes, as a mom of teens, it is easy to allow my thoughts of when they were young, linger in my mind. Sometimes, as a mom of teens, I forget that the inquisitive, wide-eyed, wonder-filled person I knew in them a dozen or so years ago, is still there. What has changed is that I need to readjust my expectations of how that wonder is expressed.

In my nineteen year old, the wonder might be the way she described the group interview for a position at a camp for kids with cancer. In my twelve year old son, it might be the “advanced graphic for it’s time” in an old N64 James Bond Movie. For my fifteen year old, it might be sharing a moment of delight as we watch a little one jump into a puddle, without a care in the world.

Maybe, like how I delight in a day without rain, even though it is still cloudy, I need to look actively for the moments of wonder in my teens days. Maybe then, when I am a grandma, watching my grandchild jumping in puddles, I will see a mom and her teen walking towards us. I will see them delighting in the joy my grandchild is having. I will see the wonder on that teens face, and I will remember the shared wonder I had with my teen, and it will make me long for those days too.

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If I Wrote a Fairy Tale (repost)

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #alllivedhappilyeverafter, #dreamsdocometrue, #futuredreaming, #happilyeverafter, #ifiwroteafairytale, #onceuponatime, #reallife, #reallifefairytale, #welldone on November 8, 2018| 2 Comments »

Fairy tales are to girls what big truck shows are to boys … they grab their attention from beginning to end, they amaze the viewer and make them think that what they see and hear is actually attainable reality … it is not.

Fairy tales are just that, they are the tales, or stories, that include imaginary characters such as fairies, or dwarfs, or talking mice, or flying carpets. They are, from their very name, made up stories, full of made up characters, and made up endings.

If I were to write a fairy tale it would be different, and probably not as widely read, or made into a major motion picture. Little girls would not wear t-shirts of the princess, or have her coloring book, night lights and video games. No, the ‘fairy’ parts would be absent. But, the ending would, in all honesty, be better than any starry-eyed little girl could ever imagine.

Here is my version (we will call it the Carole’s Notes Version):

Once upon a time …

In a land not too far away, lived a young woman with many dreams in her head. She dreamed of her future every day, and went to the King daily to ask him to lead her in the direction he had for her, and for the strength to do all that she needed to do in order to fulfill those dreams. She knew that the fulfillment of her dreams was reliant on her, and her trust in the wisdom of the King. She knew that she would have to work hard, stay focused and not expect for her dreams to just fall into her lap.

She knew that her goals could only be obtained by first getting a good education, so she studied her best and worked at her school work as if it were her job.

This princess was one who worked hard at all that she did, but she also played hard, knew how to have fun and how to relax.

She also knew that her goals could not be obtained without the support of good friends … girl friends and boy friends. These relationships would be chosen ones, ones that encouraged her to be a better person, as well as relationships of sharing the experiences of growing up. Romance was not in the cards for her at this point in her life, because she knew that it would only serve to divert her attention from the goals set out for her by her own mind, and by the King.

The princess made efforts to be helpful and kind to those around her. She tried to treat others fairly and with mercy. She acknowledged that she was given much in her life, and she needed to share what she had with others.

Throughout her life, the princess pursued her dreams, and relied on the King, but doing good and living right did not always prevent bad, disappointing and sad things from happening in her life. When she was just a young woman her mother died. She did eventually meet a Prince of a man, and marry him, and they shared a deep love, but marriage, she found was not an easy thing, and there were times when she wished she had not married him (and times when she could tell her prince wished the same of his marriage to her). There were times when the pressures of paying the bills for their ~~castle~~ small house just about smothered the princess. The couple had children who they loved, but who did not always look, act or smell nice.

Life was not happily ever after for the princess, despite her best efforts at living well, but she did live a life of joy, always thanking the king for all that she had.

When she reached her later years, she was still seeking the wisdom of the King every day. He was the focus of her days, He was the anchor that kept her where she was, and heading in the same direction. He was her focus …

And when she was breathing her last, she heard the voice of the King whisper into her soul, “well done, good and faithful servant, come and share your King’s happiness” (Matthew 25:23) … and there, in that kingdom, she lived, happily ever after.

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Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Posted in life, women, WONDER, tagged #beautifulwomen, #beautyisintheeyeofthebeholder, #innerbeauty, #whatmakesabeautifulwoman, #wonder, #youthfulbeauty, Aging on November 5, 2018| 2 Comments »

I am getting old. I know this because when I look at magazine cover, I see youthful actresses in movies, I see lovely ladies advertise (usually their online ‘chat’ business) on television, and I turn away. And I turn away because I am past the ability to look as they do (and I do not have access to the air brushing that they do). I have come to the conclusion that even if I lost fifty (or eighty) pounds, even if my body was worked into a state of rock hard, even if I did everything possible (short of plastic surgery) I am beyond the ability to be the definition of what the world says is beautiful. Because I do not have the most important defining feature of beauty … youth.

As I am starting to get cozy with being in my forties, I am starting to see the world so differently. I am starting to see, and expand the definition of beauty differently.

Oh, I can walk down the street and have my eyes drawn to a beautiful young woman. Often though it is not her outward beauty that is what draws my eye. A physically beautiful woman can not even catch more than a passing glance if she does not walk confidently, shoulders back with her head high. There has to be something in that woman that says, ‘I am approachable’. There has to be something in her appearance that communicates to all around, that she is comfortable in her own skin, for those around to look at her and say, ‘she is beautiful’.

Or is it better put another way? Is it in her inner beauty coming out that her outer beauty can shine? When we pass a beautiful woman on the street, in the mall, at the market, do we see her outer beauty first, or do we see her confident head held high, that she is approachable, and that she is comfortable in her skin and something within us says ‘she is a beauty?’

I love to look on beauty … I love the eye candy that is pleasing to my visual senses. I love to see a beautifully decorated home (but I love more to know that it is indeed a home, and not just a house), I love to see the awesomeness of nature (but it is in the Creator that I am most impressed), I love to see family photos taken by a talented photographer (but it is in knowing that the family share the beauty of love that makes their eyes sparkle brightly). I believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and what the discriminating beholder sees most clearly is not the passing glance beauty, but the inner qualities of grace and confidence and openness.

It is also in a life lived fully that beauty emerges from the frame, from the pores, from the eyes and from the lips of a woman of real, genuine beauty. When a woman comes to the end of her years on planet Earth, when she has used up every day given to her, when she loves others beyond her own capacity to love … it is then that her beauty comes to surface.

I am no longer a youthful woman, with flawless physical beauty on my side (I do not think I ever had that). And yet, I feel more determined now than ever to live fully, to live passionately, to love beautifully. And my goal is that in forty or fifty years from now, my face is littered with the beauty marks of of something beautiful emerging from within … then I will be truly beautiful.

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Ubuntu

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #codependency, #desmondtutu, #iambecauseyouare, #livingincommunity, #weneedeachother, Ubuntu on November 4, 2018| Leave a Comment »

A few years ago I wrote a blog post about swimming. And, more specifically, about the beautiful spirit that accompanies participation in swim club, and in swim meets. I revealed a particular true story of a swimmer, performing with everything within him (despite lack of experience, and a diagnosed disability), and the awe inspiring response of encouragement of everyone who witnessed his race (https://itsawonderfilledlife.net/2011/05/31/why-i-love-swim-meets/).

A delightful reader left a delightful comment. Within her comment she identified what I had written about as defined in the South African word, ‘Ubuntu’.

This word, previously unknown to me, means “I am because you are.” It is a word of mutual reliance, and of healthy co-dependency … it is a concept that our independent, individualistic, self-sufficient world would not only frown at, but also discourage.

But, humanly speaking, it is a word of depth … a word of truth.

For we ARE dependent on each other …

An unborn child is dependent on it’s mother … to survive

A newborn child is dependent on it’s parents/caregivers … to survive

A school aged child is dependent on it’s parents/caregivers/teachers … to survive

A teenager is dependent on their parents/caregivers/teachers/friends … to survive

An adult is dependent on their family/friends/employer … to thrive

A newlywed is dependent on their family/friends/employer/spouse/self-help book authors … to thrive

A new parent is dependent on their family/friends/employer/spouse/self-help book authors/doctor … to thrive (and survive)

A parent of a pre-teen/teen is dependent on their family/friends/employer/spouse/doctor/self-help book authors … to thrive (and survive)

A middle aged adult is dependent on their family/friends/employer/spouse/doctor/self-help book authors/doctor (plastic surgeon?) … to thrive (and survive)

An aging adult is dependent on their family/friends/spouse (if still alive)/doctorS/children and … Depends … to thrive (and survive … in public)

We need each other to survive. And the more we acknowledge our need for each other, the more we change how we treat each other. Because ‘others’ are no longer ‘competition’, but teammates. And ‘others’ are not longer just ‘a person’, but they become a someone.

We will look at everyone we come into contact with as a valid, integral part of our life.

We will notice the name tag of the cashier, and call them by their name. We will hold that door for the person a few feet behind us. We will help the stranger whose arms are burdened with papers or parcels. We will say hello to a passerby, and smile to tell them it was our pleasure to cross paths with them. We will remove our fingers from the computer, and give our attention fully to our spouse, or child. We will think before we speak …

I wonder, what a day with a heart of ubuntu would look like?

To live any other way, is to live a narcissistic (ode to Narcissus who fell in love with his reflection in the water … kind of like my beast) existence.

I encourage you,

I encourage me,

to live today with ubuntu in every step!

“Ubuntu speaks of the very essence of being human.

We say “Hey, so-and-so has ubuntu.”

Then you are generous, you are hospitable, you are friendly and caring and compassionate.

You share what you have.

It is to say, “My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours.”

We belong in a bundle of life.

We say, “A person is a person through other persons.”

Desmond Tutu

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