Posts Tagged ‘#rememberingchildhood’

What’s your earliest memory?

Maybe there is more than one? Maybe they blend together? Maybe they are incomplete? Maybe it isn’t a memory so much as a feeling?

I have a memory from my childhood. It is late spring or early summer. The sun high in the sky, causing my squinty eyes to squint even more. I can recall it’s warmth on my skin, not enough to sweat, but feel comfortably warm. I remember holding the hands of my parents, me in the middle … where every child aims to be. We are walking through a path or trail with trees on either side. I remember feeling, not just the warmth of the sun on my skin, but also the warmth of love, connection, safety.

And that is all I remember.

It is a happy memory.

We all have memories from our childhood. Ones that make us feel good things and ones that leave us feeling the trauma of that moment. Sometimes we can identify the origins of our feelings, but not always. Sometimes it is smells or sounds that awaken our memories of years ago. Sometimes, our memories aren’t accurate at all and what we think we remember may not have even happened.

The Psalmist has said, (9:1), “I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.”

Have you ever done that? Recounted the wonderful deeds of God in your life … ?

Ever looked back for times when you know that God stood in the gap for you? That something in your occurred and you know, without a doubt, that he worked things for you? That he did a miracle? That he filled you with joy?

Try it. Really! Try it.

You might remember something that has been forgotten, some evidence of God in your life that you need to remember now.


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Recently one of my daughters and I went for a walk with the beast, on my favorite trail. It was not a bright sun-shiny day, but it was not raining, and in monsoon season here, that is great weather!

As we were coming to the end of our walk, there was a woman with a girl, who looked to be about four, coming towards us. As they were getting closer, I experienced a strong case of deja vu. The little girl, clad in a pink raincoat, and matching rain boots, was puddle jumping.

Immediately, I was carried back to the days when my own kids were preschoolers, out for a walk with the sole intend of puddle jumping after the rain stopped. I remembered the various rain boots and coats, the childish umbrellas, and … the smiles of delight as they approached a fresh, undisturbed puddle, as they plotted and planned how to move as much water as they could in one leap.

I remembered their wonder-filled smiles, and I felt that tug on my mama heart, that tug that said ‘I miss that’, ‘I long for that look, that feeling, again.’

Then I realized that my daughter, at my side, was taking the same wonder-filled delight in the experience that we were both observing. She is almost fifteen, and is all teenage girl. But she is not above the delightful moments of life. She is still filled with awe at the sight of a puddle and a pair of rubber boots. She is still filled with wonder.

Sometimes, as a mom of teens, it is easy to allow my thoughts of when they were young, linger in my mind. Sometimes, as a mom of teens, I forget that the inquisitive, wide-eyed, wonder-filled person I knew in them a dozen or so years ago, is still there. What has changed is that I need to readjust my expectations of how that wonder is expressed.

In my nineteen year old, the wonder might be the way she described the group interview for a position at a camp for kids with cancer. In my twelve year old son, it might be the “advanced graphic for it’s time” in an old N64 James Bond Movie. For my fifteen year old, it might be sharing a moment of delight as we watch a little one jump into a puddle, without a care in the world.

Maybe, like how I delight in a day without rain, even though it is still cloudy, I need to look actively for the moments of wonder in my teens days. Maybe then, when I am a grandma, watching my grandchild jumping in puddles, I will see a mom and her teen walking towards us. I will see them delighting in the joy my grandchild is having. I will see the wonder on that teens face, and I will remember the shared wonder I had with my teen, and it will make me long for those days too.

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