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how are you … really?

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #bellletstalk, #care, #depression, #howareyoureally, #investinothers, #loveoneanother, #sadd on January 31, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Shhh!

Sometimes we need to just get quiet, get past the

how are you?
I am fine

automated conversation.

Sometimes we need to sit, face to face … well, before Covid … sigh.

Ok, sometimes we need to sit, separately, yet heart to heart. We need to move on to the intimate version of the same question …

how are you … really?

One word … just one word changes how one’s heart hears the heart of the one asking the question. That one word says,

I have time.
I have space.
I want to know.

It says,

I care.

We all need to know that someone cares beyond just making the noises, going through the motions. Kind sometimes isn’t enough. Sometimes we need to be kind and to care for others too.

January is one of the dark months and, for some, it can, for some, be a season of being chased by the dark dog. Not a real black dog, but one which can take over more than just a house, it can take over a person’s life.

Just this past week in Canada, there was a mental health awareness campaign called #bellletstalk. People spoke about mental health issues, money was raised. Those are good things to do to show awareness, but there are 364 other days in the year, days when we can make a real difference in the lives of those closest to us.

Here is the thing. Though we all know the heart’s delight when someone shows such care to us, we don’t always show such care to others. We forget, we are in a rush, we have hearts and heads full of our own stuff.

But, what if we were intentional once a day to look into someone’s eyes. I mean, with our masks, eyes are really all that we see. Look into their eyes and say, how are you, really? Maybe with someone at work, someone at school, someone in your household, in your bed. Maybe send a message, a text, an email, a good ol’ fashioned letter, saying, I was thinking of you. How are you, really?

Dive below the surface. Show someone that,

I have time.
I have space.
I want to know.

Ask the question,

how are you … really?

It says,

I care.

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Cravings

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #carbcravings, #cravings, #curbingcarbcravings, #reachfordailybread, #sustenandethatsustains on January 29, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Christmas is nothing compared with January … when it comes to cravings.

Carbs are my weakness in the deep dark of winter. Popcorn, rice, oats, potatoes, scones … lay a carb at my feet and it will soon be inhaled.

I wish I craved something else … vegetables, exercise … time with God.

Actually, in my carb-craving season, if I pause (and I often don’t) from inhaling this sustenance that doesn’t sustain, if I take just a moment to ask myself the question,

what am I really hungering for?

I find myself sitting quietly, until my soul reaches for something that truly nourishes and I enter into intimate communication with God.

It is as though I reach for the wrong daily bread.

Temptations lose their power
When Thou art nigh
I need Thee,
O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

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Dear You

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #dearyou, #greymatter, #iremainconfidentofthis, #noformula, #noguarantee, #powerofchoice, #whentheformulabecomesgod on January 24, 2021| Leave a Comment »

And this is how it begins …

I haven’t told anyone this before, but I’m going to tell you now …

I wish someone had told me, though I am not certain that I would have listened or believed it to be true. Maybe that is just how it is when life is experienced with both the sun and rain on our skin?

So, what I am about to tell you … it’s true … I have the bumps and bruises and emotional muscle development to prove it. Hum … that sounds rather dark and twisty. Don’t worry, the bumps and bruises can be reduced if you listen to what I am going to tell you …

but, I also know that when someone tells you something, something which requires a change within, well … people don’t often listen because experience is a much more profound teacher than advice (at least it has been for me).

So … take this under advisement …

Here it is …

there is no formula for success in life

Ok, so maybe I have hinted at this before, but this time I am focusing on this message, I am imploring you to consider how this might affect your thinking, your planning, your expectations in life.

Social media is full of should, always, never. Certainly there are things and events in our lives that these words are accurately used.

Humans should drink water everyday.

If you drop a marble from your hand, it will always fall.

You will never leave a beach without sand sticking to you.

Much of real live life, though, is lived with grey matter, with special circumstances, with choice. It is the power of choice that most often wrecks havoc with the if-then expectations in our daily living.

We humans think that if we study hard we will get a high mark in our course … but, studying is only part of the picture. Ability is the other piece that affects the outcome. We think that if we dote on our spouse, they will always love us. We think that if we raise our children a certain way, they will be successful. We think that if we eat healthy and exercise regularly we will live long and healthy. We think that if we pour into our loved ones, they will be there for us when we are elderly.

There are no guarantees of success!

There are no formulas!

Okay, I hear you thinking, but if we follow God, surrender our lives to his will, raise our children to follow him, obey his commands …

But … even as you are thinking those thoughts (thoughts that I, myself had thought in younger years) there are faces and names and situations that don’t fit this Christian formula that we have held tightly too.

Maybe we have held that formula, that ideal, more tightly than we have held onto God himself? Maybe the formula has become our god?

It is said that expectation is the root of all heartache, sorrow, evil, disappointment, suffering. If God is who we follow, then trust, not expectation, must be our guide. If I am trusting my God in the process, then I need to trust him with the timing.

Through the ‘failures’ of life’s formulas, there is one thing we can be completely confident of :

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:13-14

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Dreaming through the Years

Posted in Aging, life, WONDER, tagged #dontstopdreaming, #dreamdreams, #dreaming, #dreamingthoughtheyears, #dreams on January 19, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Just writing the word dreaming makes my mind begin to sing that The Mamas & The Papas 1970s hit California Dreamin’ (and now yours is too).

Maybe not California, but I have had my fair share of travel dreams in recent months. It is hard to dream of travel when you don’t know when it will be wise to do so again.

In these pandemic days (and nights) dreaming is a key to unlocking our unfulfilled wishes from travel, to physically attending church, to dinner parties, to greeting family and friends with a hug.

Hum … those dreams sound rather different from what we might have been dreaming a year ago, before the pandemic required changes in our daily lives.

I was thinking of dreams the other day. Dreams that were, at one time, hopes for my life.

When I was in high school I dreamed of being an adult, having a job, getting married, having children. As time moved on I dreamed of seeing new sights, owning a home, having a pet, travelling with our kids. Then came the years of what I would call the more dreams … more income, more house and yard, more travel, more things. As I look back at those years I see cracks that had results that put previous dreams in peril.

We do have to be careful about what we wish and dream … for we are revealing our hearts in our desires.

The other day I realized my dreaming for the future had slowed from earlier years. Mine is not a stage in life for attaining, reaching as in earlier years. Yet I realized that I was missing the joy and anticipation, the forward-thinking that comes from dreaming.

“‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” Acts 2:17

I want to grow old dreaming dreams. I want to awaken in the morning with hopes and goals, with a direction to be working toward. I want the prayers of my lips to be whispers of the desires of my heart, staying close to God, so that my desires line up with His.

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Speechless

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #2021, #discouragingstartto2021, #leanintosilence, #nowordsfor2021, #quietbutnotblind, #speechless on January 12, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Anyone else feeling that the start of 2021 to be discouraging?

Anyone else shaking their head?

Anyone else feeling defeated already?

Anyone else feeling that the noise, the chatter of everyone around them, is so loud all you can do is be quiet?

I had to pull myself together recently, as I felt that the darkness in our world was overtaking me, pulling me down into a pit of despair.

I don’t think I am alone in that despair.

What are we to do we do when we encounter despair, disappointment, sin and evil?

There are those who must declare, shout out, announce their every thought for all the world to hear.

I am not one of those people.

I need to feel the sorrow, the loss, the tragedy. I need to take it in and turn it over, and over and over again.

I need to weep in the sadness of in inhumanity of humanity. Allowing that sadness to become part of me.

I need to pray … groaning to God, who I acknowledge must ache far more than I. It is only in conversation with Him that comfort and answers are found.

In Augustine’s writings in The Confessions, he pleads, “Bend down to my soul’s ear, O Lord; open it, and tell my soul: I am your salvation.”

Augustine’s concern is not his own silence, but his perceived silence of God. He begs for God to take the Q-tips to his own soul’s ears (something no doctor would advise) and clean them out so that he might hear the message that God seems to be hiding from him. Augustine is looking for what we humans all long for at one time or another …

a message in the stars,

a rainbow in the sky,

an audible voice from his God.

He demands to hear from God, what his soul is already fully aware of …

that he’s got this

Whatever this is …

And so, while I listen for the voice of God, while I am quiet so that I can hear his voice in my soul …

I am quiet, but not blind.

“Be silent in the LORD’s presence and wait patiently for him.”
Psalm 37:7

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Wanna Change Someone

Posted in life, tagged #agapelove, #change, #changebehavior, #goldenrule, #Iamchangedwhenilove, #lovingyourenemies, #spiritofgodinme, #wannachangesomeone on January 10, 2021| 2 Comments »

“If you want to change the behavior of a student, you must first convince them, real or perceived, that you like them”

Those were the best words of advice I ever received as an educational assistant … and I have found them to be true!

No amount of negative reinforcement, tokens, nagging, consistent messaging, interruptions, trips to the principal, calls home, withdrawal of personal attention, privileges, or possessions has had a more substantive beneficial effect in working with students than this intentional expression of unconditional appreciation for them.

Effective? … yes!
Guaranteed desired results? … no …

Since I am human, since the students are human … well, we have this ‘benefit’ of free will and we just don’t always choose to say, and do, and think rightly. So, guaranteed positive results … nope, but it’s pretty effective.

The other thing is that the advice needs an edit, because liking people is hard. Sometimes liking is even humanly impossible. So, I prefer the quote to be edited by substituting ‘like’ for ‘love’.

“If you want to change the behavior of a student, you must first convince them, real or perceived, that you love them”

Some might say, well if liking is hard, loving would be even difficult … true … and not.

When I say you need to convince someone that you love them, I don’t mean with my or our capacity to love, because that is just not enough. I mean with the love that is only present because the Spirit of God is within me.

Last week I was reading a sermon of Martin Luther King Jr., which he preached in 1957, at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama, titled, Loving Your Enemies. In it he said something about this act of loving that got my attention :

Agape (love) is something of the understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill for all men. It is a love that seeks nothing in return. It is an overflowing love; it’s what theologians would call the love of God working in the lives of humans. And when you rise to love on this level, you begin to love humans, not because they are likeable, but because God loves them.
MLK Jr.

To love someone … a student, a child, a parent, a sibling, a wife, a husband, a neighbor … with the unconditional love of God is to open the door to the amazing, redemptive work of God in that relationship. It is to prepare the way for changes, for miracles.

Sometimes the miracles happen in the one to whom I am making effort to offering the love of God, but always, always the changes, the miracles happen in me. I cannot offer hate, I cannot think ill of, I cannot be disinterested in someone who I am loving through the spirit of God.

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Give love to others with the dog-like love that you want to receive.

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #doglove, #goldenrule, #lovelikeadog, #thewheatonwheaten, #thewonderdog, #unconditionallove on January 8, 2021| Leave a Comment »

So, the Wonderdog … he’s so freaking cute! He has this look like he is always ready to play.

At the end of the work day … that’s when I really feel loved.

Hubby says that each day the Wonderdog is on high alert as soon as he hears the garage door open. He sits, staring at the door, ears perked, for me to open it and walk into the house. Then his excitement explodes as he jumps and runs around waiting for me to pat his head and take him for his outside afternoon ablutions.

Dogs teach us about unconditional love, adoration, forgiveness and never hold a grudge. They are the model of how to love.

There is nothing better than being loved by a dog!

As a matter of fact, I would hasten a guess that everyone who has ever been adored by a dog has thought to themselves at least once, why can’t people love like?

Here’s the thing …

We humans do not love like dogs. We don’t act like dogs (and this is not a positive statement!).

We humans are selfish. Forgiveness is not something that comes natural. Humans are all about what have you done for me lately?

Basically, we are like cats … who ignore, demand, bully and abuse. In our selfish, arrogant cat-like selves, we think, that we show love to others as a dog shows love … but we don’t.

we all want to be loved as a dog loves,
but humans love more like cats!

Added to that … we ignore, demand, bully, abuse and cancel from our lives people who treat us in a cat-like manner.

Awhile back I had a little self check, on just how like a cat I am in my expectations in relationships with other people.

I was angry … like, so angry I could spit (my grandmother’s most extreme definition of anger). Someone had said things that made me mad. They had also not said things, and that made me mad. They had done things (and not done things) that made me mad … mad enough to spit!

Actually, I was mad enough to split … I had reached the end of my patience with this individual and I just wanted to get some permanent space from them …

because I didn’t deserve to be treated like that!

Then I came home one day, to the Wonderdog, who lavished his regular excitement and adoration on me. As I played with him, I thought about how distracted I had been lately. I hadn’t taken him for a walk, hadn’t had our regular end of day snuggles. Basically, I kept him alive, but didn’t provide much else.

Then I thought about the human relationship … the one I was ready to cancel. This time, I thought about times when I was the one who was saying (or not saying) and doing (or not doing) things that made the other person mad. They didn’t cancel our relationship, they persevered, stuck their feet deep into my dung heap and waited for better days. Oh, they might have hissed a time or two (like a cat), but they stayed with me through the storm (that I, no doubt, had contributed to creating).

How could I ever expect to be given the grace of a dog-like love if I am not prepared to love others through their cat-like tendencies?

There is this verse in the Bible (and in the texts of many other religions around the world) … a motto, a maxim for life that is pure gold :

Do to others
what you want them to do to you.

Matthew 7:12

It is such a simple rule for life, until you try to live it. Easier to expect it from others than to accomplish for others. Yet … if we could adopt this golden rule into our lives, what a difference we might experience. Imagine how others might see us, how they might see our God.

So, that’s it folks,

give love to others
with the dog-like love that you want to receive.

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The Love the Will Never Let You Go

Posted in Faith, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #grace, #gracenotjudgement, #hereislove, #hesed, #lovingkindness, #mercy, #steadfastlove, #thelovethatwillneverletyougo on January 3, 2021| Leave a Comment »

For the New Year I had started writing a post, but that didn’t feel right. So I started a second, got to the end and it still didn’t feel right. So I started again, resulting in Friday’s post A Lament to Start 2021. I kind of love when that happens, because I feel like I am not writing simply what I want to say, but what I am led to communicate.

This is the second post, when I got to the end, then my fingers began tapping in a different direction, a different message from what I had planned.

Hesed …

A Hebrew word. Wikipedia says “the word is used of kindness or love between people.” Our world could all use more of that!

But, Hesed is more than just kindness … and love itself has so many meanings … no, Hesed is grander than these.

In the Bible, like Wikipedia, Hesed is often translated as lovingkindness but it is also translated as a steadfast love. Does this make things clearer? Maybe, maybe not.

To understand Hesed we need to understand the unconditional, compassionate, covenantal, generous, merciful, loyal, permanence that is all part of this steadfast love,

The steadfast love of God is not offered/given as a payment for good behavior, not an owed obligation, but freely and without any pause in the delivery of it.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

It is this steadfast love, this hesed, that means we live under grace (which is undeserved) rather than judgement or wrath. Hesed is the definition, the fulfillment of the good news of the grace offered to such a worm as I (Psalm 22:6) by one who knew no sin (1 John 3:5).

Hebrew scholar Dom Rembert Sorg wrote that hesed is “really the Old Testament reflex (reflected image) of ‘God is love.'”

And this hesed, this lovingkindness, this steadfast love is available to us all!

Could we be more blessed, more fortunate, more … prepared for a new year and all of the good, bad and ugly that awaits us, provided with this grace, mercy and love? We not only have a new year ahead, but we are not entering it alone, unempowered, lost.

We have the firm foundation of steadfast love that never ceases!

And that makes for a Happy New Year!

“Life is dear, but God’s love is dearer.
To dwell with God is better than life at its best;
life at ease, in a palace, in health, in honour, in wealth, in pleasure;
yea, a thousand lives are not equal to the eternal life which abides in Jehovah’s smile.
In him we truly live, and move, and have our being …”
Charles Spurgeon

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A Lament to Start 2021

Posted in Faith, GOD, life, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #2021, #alamenttostart2021, #deargod, #lament, #lamentduringapandemic, #lamentitshealthy, #newyear, #whygod on January 1, 2021| 1 Comment »

Lord, thank you for a new day, but especially for a new year.

We come to you today, the start of new year, because you are our God, our Creator and Redeemer. There is no other like you. You were and are and will ever be … and we bow humbly to you.

We are tired, we are all tired … but you know that.

What a year our world has walked through. The new normal has affected every area of our lives from our jobs, to shopping, to school, to recreation, to socialization, to hygiene to even church. Change is always wearying, but these changes … God, it’s kind of gotten to us at times. Yet, when we look at the suffering of others, who have experienced mourning, who have experienced natural disasters, who have experienced warfare during this pandemic, we feel selfish … our new normal is nothing compared to those challenges. Yet … you know. You designed that our minds and bodies and souls work together, that we humans be together … and we thank-you for offering yourself for our rest.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

We are discouraged, we have all been discouraged … but you know that.

Lord, it has seemed that bad news has been the theme of the year. Whether it was racial injustices or riots, politics, fires, natural disasters, homeless refuges around the world and famines … we are discouraged. Our social connections have decreased and when we looked to social media for connection, anger and fear have made social media less about connection and more about division. We simply need a little good news.

” … the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners” (Isaiah 61:1)

We are longing for loved ones, we have all missed loved ones … but you know that.

Loneliness is pandemic in our world, God. Out of fear of and protection from Covid, we have been keeping our distance from others. Our children have not been having play dates, our teens have missed going to events with peers, our young adults are missing socializing, our elders … Lord, so many are so very isolated, so very alone. We ask that this new year might be one of reunions with loved ones … we implore you to make a way out of this lonely desert.

” … do not fear (loneliness), for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

We need you … we often don’t realize or do anything about it … but you know that too.

God, we need you. If anything has taught us this in our life, this pandemic year of new normal has been our motivator. When we are tired, you give us rest. When we are discouraged, you have given us good news. When we are lonely, we only need to seek and you are there. As the doors to our church services have closed for in person worship, we have encountered the challenge of choosing to connect online, in podcasts. As all that we know of worship services has been stripped away is your plan that we come back to YOU, rather than to the practises that have been our habit, perhaps these practices have even become the focus of our worship, rather than the specs with which to see you?

“God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.” (Hebrews 13:5-6)

We leave these heart cries with you, trusting you to gather our tears. We trust you with our sorrows and what you will allow in and through them.

You are our God and we will serve only you.

* With our first breath we cry out … crying out is a most human response. Lament is a crying out to God. It is a declaration to Him of our sorrow, discomfort, sadness. It is being real before the God Almighty, announcing to him what he already knows … it is a step of faith, an indicator of intimacy and trust. Trust to share our pain and to leave it in his holy hands. To lament is to acknowledge God for who he is, it is to cry out our distress, then it is to leave our tears, our heartaches, our sorrows with Him … an act of full trust and confidence. It is to cast our cares, our worries, concerns and anxieties on Him … for He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).

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Looking at 2020 … not just the bad

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #2020, #2020reflection, #coronavirus, #covid19, #impossiblesituations, #lookingat2020, #pandemicyear, #thecreamrises on December 29, 2020| Leave a Comment »

As this 2020 is sliding in for home, I have been pondering the year, through the rear view mirror … which is how, I expect, most of us have been desiring to view this year.

This has been the year of the Coronavirus disease, resulting in memories of a year that leave a bad taste in one’s mouth (unless you had Covid-19 and lost your sense of taste).

isolation
toilet paper hoarding
cancelled plans
halted travel
sanitizer
online schooling
working from home
face masks
cancelled arts, sporting and other entertainment
cancelled plans
cancelled parties
closed businesses (some permanently)
job losses
illness (so some)
death (sadly, also true for some)

And all of this on top of the non-Coronavirus struggles of life like racism, politics, riots, natural disasters, relationship struggles, ended marriages, illnesses and … murder hornets?!

This Covid Pandemic season has tested us in ways our communities have not been tested in a lifetime. This year with Covid-19 will be talked about in terms of the tough, the struggles, the hard stuff, the losses, the negative.

Yet, as I have been looking back at 2020, there have also been amazing, encouraging and uplifting aspects that have shown human kindness, strength, resilience and love. Truly the cream has risen to the top, as I look more closely at 2020.

society is celebrating real community heroes … nurses, doctors, grocery store workers, those who work in senior’s care homes, those who work in daycares, preschools and schools and (add your own)
we are learning to say than-you, for through our wants and needs, we are leaning appreciation and gratitude
people have had opportunity to really get to know who lives under our own roofs
hand crafts, baking, board games and puzzles have reemerged in our homes
we opted, choose to stay connected through distanced meet-ups in parking lots with lawn chairs, outside windows of senior’s homes, Zoom meetings, FaceTime, live (online) church services and small groups, online games and even letter writing
weddings still happened and were more intimate
graduations occurred with great creativity
we started noticing others
we cleaned out our closet, basements and garages
we got out in nature to exercise by biking, hiking, walking, running and (fill in your preference)
we began to see that we are part of something bigger, that our actions can have affect on others … that staying home, wearing a mask are little things done with great love … for others.

2020 is coming to a close and it will go down in history as a pandemic year … but this coronavirus storm has also a year when we began to look at our jobs, businesses, education, shopping, needs … at our lives differently. Though we are all looking forward to returning to many of the good things that have been on pause this year, our new focus might not have us return to the rat race of before, maybe, just maybe we will begin to realize that there is more to life than what we had before …

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