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Who Am I to Question God

Posted in WONDER, tagged all for jesus, all taken away, groaning, Jesus, Job, lost everything, Praise, robin mark, Sin, the brick testament, who am I to question god? on April 8, 2013| 1 Comment »

If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that I am mesmerized by the book and the person of Job.

I am in awe at how he suffered, and yet was still willing to offer up praise to his Creator:

“Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return.
The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away;
blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Job 1:21

Job was a good and righteous man. He had many earthly treasures, and all were taken from him. After losing all of the people, and things, and health that was good, he is tormented by his neighbors. They are certain that Job must have sinned terribly for God to have cursed himself in every part of his life, and they (like tabloid editors) want to know all of the details of his sin.

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Job sits and listens to their speeches.

But, Job was real too. Although he never ceased to praise his Maker, he also had his pity party:

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“I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me.
You turn on me ruthlessly; with the might of your hand you attack me.
You snatch me up and drive me before the wind; you toss me about in the storm.
I know you will bring me down to death, to the place appointed for all the living.”
Job 30:20-23

In the end, God responds both to Job’s ‘friends’, as well as to Job’s groaning:

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Then Job, in humility, and understanding of who is really in charge, replied to the Lord:

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“I know that you can do all things;
    no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know.
Job 40:2-3

“The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.”
Job 42:12

“All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender all of these, into Your hands
For it’s only in Your will that I am free”

* if you want to see more of the stories of the Bible told with similar images, check out The Brick Testament

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Memorizing … By Heart

Posted in WONDER, tagged a holy experience, Ann Voskamp, hiding it in your heart, memorizing, memorizing ... by heart, Psalm 139, speaking on April 7, 2013| 2 Comments »

I awoke on Saturday morning, realizing that I am speaking at a women’s conference in exactly four weeks!

The cold sweats, the tummy rumblings, the tension headache all began to surface … reminding me that time is moving along, and my preparations are not moving as fast as the days on the calendar!

I resolved, then and there, that my goal of memorizing the scripture that I would be speaking from (Psalm 139) would simply not happen, and I would need to put aside this lofty goal, so that what I plan to say would be well prepared … ah, instant relief!

And then, I started through my Saturday morning ritual of reading blog posts from others …

Once again, God spoke clearly to me as I read the words of Ann Voskamp (maybe I need to stop reading her posts … just joking 😉 ).

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Ann, author of the bestseller, “One Thousand Gifts,” writes a wonderful daily blog called A Holy Experience. It is worth your time to check it out.

In the post that has convicted me (once again) to continue to work towards memorizing this beautiful passage, Ann creates music with a combination of left-handed piano playing, the value of hiding God’s word in our hearts, and the hard parts of life.

Check out what Ann has to say about, How to get Through Lifes Hard Parts

“Your life doesn’t sing unless you play.”
Ann Voskamp

PSALM 139

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
²You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

⁷Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
¹²even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

¹³For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
¹⁷How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

¹⁹If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²²I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
²³Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

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Sweet 16

Posted in WONDER, tagged Birthday, Cris, Daughter, Mother, sixteen on April 5, 2013| 2 Comments »

Today our youngest daughter turns sixteen … wow!

She was a child we never thought we would have, having suffered four miscarriages after her sister. When I was pregnant with her, we understood what it is to pray without ceasing, praying that God would allow us to hold her, to wonder at her form.

And He did.

When she was born with a blue lifeless body, we both thought we had a new road of grief to walk.

What we did not know was how very independent this child was, or would be. When she finally took her first breath, she cried, and didn’t stop for two years! I remember thinking, in those really stressful, late night sessions of crying, “God I love her, but could you please give me a chance to like her.”

And He did.

When most children become more of a challenge as the terrible 2’s roll around, our fiery redhead became a joy. Just in time too, as we were surprised to be expecting again (be careful what you pray for)!

Although that independent streak is still very, very present, she has become a young lady who I truly do like.

Each of our children are unique, and with each I have a unique relationship.

Cris at Nokomis

With Cris, the relationship is all about laughing and giggling. We share a love of silly sitcoms, McDonalds fries (you have to know that started in utero), walking and beauty in nature. We also share a struggle to keep focused, a desire for order, and the phrase, “I changed my mind.”

Cris adds humor unwittingly to most dinner conversations, and we wonder if perhaps redheads are the true blonds. Although that is changing, and wit is becoming a strength for her.

She spent our recent Spring Break whipping our butts each night over Dutch Blitz … something her brother may never get over.

She and her sister share ‘snugs-n-nugs’… giving the two of them something to share in together.

She is the child who seems to me to have the most equal amount of characteristics of both her dad, and myself. It is always a scary thing to look at the beautiful child who you created, and see the same weaknesses staring back at you. Of course she also possess strengths too … often they are within those same weaknesses. I am thankful that she got so many strengths from your dad!

Cris, I still hope you dance.

I hope your carefree spirit will never die, or worse, that it will be smothered out by reason and maturity.

I hope that you always see good within people who are suffering from their own poor choices, those people need someone like you in their lives to show that the mercy and grace of God.

I hope that you always show interest in people much older than you … I know that you love to love them, that you love to learn from them, that you ache for the loneliness that can be part of their days … they need you to be the warm smile, the genuine hug of affection for the God who wants to bring them comfort.

I hope that you continue to have many friends, of different genders, ages, cultures and faiths … continue to love the daughters of Eve and the sons of Adam …

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Nothing to Give

Posted in WONDER, tagged Brian McConaghy, Cambodia, Exodus 3:11-12, GOD, Israelites, Moses, nothing, nothing to give, Pain, Ratanak International, sharing in the pain on April 4, 2013| Leave a Comment »

As I sat down to write this post, I was tempted to title it ‘nothing’ because that is what I felt I had to offer … nothing.

Nothing is a place of emptiness, overwhelming, and discouragement. It is a place that each of us finds ourselves in from time to time. It can be a sense or feeling of lack of energy, lack of desire, lack of ability … it is a lacking.

When I think of nothing, I think of Moses.

When God called Moses to be the tool in freeing the Israelite people, “Moses said to God, “I am nobody (the personification of nothing). How can I go to the king and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

Moses felt the task was far too overwhelming for someone like himself to accomplish. He did not feel that he had anything to give, to offer … that he had nothing to give.

Then “God answered, “I will be with you, and when you bring the people out of Egypt, you will worship me on this mountain. That will be the proof that I have sent you.” Exodus 3:11-12

Basically, I think God was pointing out the obvious to Moses … that this task was not one that God asked of him because Moses was the only way, but because Moses needed to learn to offer himself, no matter how small or how pathetic his offering was … his job was to offer, God would take that offering and multiply it, as only he could do.

That is all any of us is called to … to offer ourselves, our gifts, our hearts … the rest is in the hands of our God who knows the pain that is in the offering.

The following is a post by Brian McConaghy, Founding Director of Ratanak International (Ratanak), whose goal is “to help the Cambodian people rebuild their country and in so doing show them the love of Jesus Christ in a tangible way.” I love what this organization is striving to do, to honor our Creator and His creation … an impossible task, guided by a God of possibilities!

Being Broken
Phnom Penh, 2:45AM, I’m up and wide-awake with my mind racing. So many issues, so many problems, so much hurt in this country it is completely overwhelming. I am once again confronted that I just don’t have the resources to deal with this place. How on earth can anyone cope with being called to serve and love such a country?
It is easier to love Cambodia from afar. Being here the issues, the trauma, the brokenness is personal, up close and overwhelming. The magnitude and complexity of the task is so far beyond any skills I bring to the table.
I get up and kneel to pray for all that is before me – how can I possibly keep loving this place? Tears come quickly as I think on the 23 years of hard work through civil war, poverty and trauma, as I contemplate the magnitude of all that remains to be done. I see the faces of individual lives so in need of hope. Have we even made a dent? Shouldn’t we be farther along after so many years …of struggle? Shouldn’t at least some of the issues be solved?

In prayer my mind stops racing, calm returns as I once again confront the fact that this is not about me or my skills or even my expectations. I am called to serve this place and embedded in this process is the call to be broken for it even as Christ is broken for it. How could I possibly love Cambodia and not know grief? So re focusing on the tasks at hand I bring the issues before God and hand them to Him for it is His skill, His determination, His love for these people that is relevant not my pathetic offering. Yet in this context Christ reveals that He will do more than I could ask or imaging even with my pathetic efforts. Irrespective of how I feel, He counts my efforts as gold and honors even my frail attempts to serve. How I ‘feel’ about my service to Cambodia has absolutely no bearing, whatsoever, on the value God places on it. He is in the business of doing great things with our little. And so, as I re focus, there is a strange comfort in grieving for this place – a strange beauty in the thought that I may just be privileged to share in a tiny portion of the brokenness of Christ for Cambodia. The tears turn from those of grief and hopelessness to those of a strange joy – of being in the fight for this nation – of being counted a warrior by God while being but a child. What a privilege.

I should get back to bed for an hours sleep before getting up to tackle the challenges of a new day. But I’m calm once again, content in my brokenness for this place and resolved to keep going. For Cambodia is not my burden – it is Christ’s.
Brian.

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The Draw of the Bible

Posted in WONDER, tagged Bible, ears to hear, Hans Zimmer, history channel, Hollywood, Matthew 11:15, Matthew 7:24-26, Story, The Bible miniseries, Truth on April 3, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I was skeptical about the television production of The Bible when I first heard the radio advertisement.

TheBibleMiniseries3

But, I have loved being wrong about this!

I loved that we were told of the story of Creation through Noah, as he was telling his family on the ark that God had provided for their survival. Their ark, a living exposition of Creation itself.

I loved that in the story of Abraham being tested, Sarah worried that Abraham had taken her son, her only son, to give sacrifice to God … without a lamb, and she raced off to them.

I loved the telling of the story of young shepherd boy, David, defeating the giant, Goliath, with a small stone, and a big faith.

I love the way the Jesus interrupts Peter on his boat, and how He offers a new life to Peter.

I especially loved the way that Jesus told the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector. The story that tells of the two going to the temple to pray and how Jesus finished his parable with words from Luke 14:11, “for all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

I loved the way they portrayed Joseph, the husband of Mary, the earthly father of Jesus, a good and strong man, willing to obey the word of God.

I am still waiting to watch the finale, and cannot wait to see how they have re-created the stories that I have already imagined in my mind.

Oh, I am not saying that I view this production as the total and complete … gospel truth. Certainly there are inaccuracies, additions and omissions that make it … well a translation (like the Message), rather than a version (like the English Standard version).

What I did love was that:

it was done … well, and anyone who has seen any older versions of Biblical tales knows that it was time!
the focus of the story of the Bible was not changed
the person of Christ was not created to be something He was not (although … I did think it was wrong to have such a good looking man play Jesus … after all Isaiah 53:2 says, “he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him” 😉 )
my kids, who would not join hubby and I for any other television shows, would wander into the room, once the music (Hans Zimmer, you are brilliant!) started
millions of people … more than 50 million … have been exposed to the truth!

I read a Time online article titled, “Behind the Hit Bible Miniseries? The Man Who Helps Hollywood Get Religion” and I sighed. Sure, I would love that Hollywood produce more movies that are entertaining and unoffensive, but my hope with the visibility of the greatest book ever written is not that it become ‘trendy’ but that it become KNOWN.

I think Matthew said it well,

“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock (Matthew 7:24-26 … The Message).

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“He who has ears to hear,
let him hear”
Matthew 11:15

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A Father’s Teaching

Posted in WONDER, tagged Children, example, James 5:16, modeling, Parenting, Proverbs 4, rich teaching, wisdom on April 2, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Months ago, I was reading Proverbs 4, and I was struck by the rich teaching in that one chapter.

This weekend I viewed a video called, “When I Became a Man” and I thought the two went together so well.

Below you will find the video, followed by the passage from Proverbs.

May we, as parents (not just father to son, but simply parent to child) provide good teaching, good modeling, to our children of how to live. And if you or I have grown up with a parent who provided a poor example of what it is to become a man (or a woman), may we have the wisdom to know that we still have the choice, to live differently!

“Confess, pray and heal my heart.”
James 5:16

“Pick up the gospel,
and put the toys away!”

“4 O sons, hear the teaching of a father. Listen so you may get understanding. ²For I give you good teaching. Do not turn away from it. ³When I was a much loved and only son of my mother and father, ⁴he taught me, saying, “Hold my words close to your heart. Keep my teachings and live. ⁵Get wisdom and understanding. Do not forget or turn away from the words of my mouth. ⁶Do not leave her alone, and she will keep you safe. Love her, and she will watch over you. ⁷The beginning of wisdom is: Get wisdom! And with all you have gotten, get understanding. ⁸Honor her and she will honor you. She will honor you if you hold her to your heart. ⁹She will put on your head a crown of loving-favor and beauty.”

¹⁰Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, and the years of your life will be many. ¹¹I have taught you in the way of wisdom. I have led you on the right paths. ¹²When you walk, your steps will not be stopped. If you run, you will not trip. ¹³Take hold of teaching. Do not let go. Watch over her, for she is your life. ¹⁴Do not go on the path of the sinful. Do not walk in the way of bad men. ¹⁵Stay away from it. Do not pass by it. Turn from it, and pass on. ¹⁶For they cannot sleep unless they do wrong. They are robbed of sleep unless they make someone fall. ¹⁷For they eat the bread of sin, and drink the wine of wrong-doing. ¹⁸But the way of those who are right is like the early morning light. It shines brighter and brighter until the perfect day. ¹⁹The way of the sinful is like darkness. They do not know what they trip over.

²⁰My son, listen to my words. Turn your ear to my sayings. ²¹Do not let them leave your eyes. Keep them in the center of your heart. ²²For they are life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. ²³Keep your heart pure for out of it are the important things of life. ²⁴Put false speaking away from you. Put bad talk far from you. ²⁵Let your eyes look straight in front of you, and keep looking at what is in front of you. ²⁶Watch the path of your feet, and all your ways will be sure. ²⁷Do not turn to the right or to the left. Turn your foot away from sin.”

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One of These Days …

Posted in WONDER, tagged 1 Corinthians 2:6-9, Death, Easter, good-bye, good-bye for now, Matthew 25:31, Resurrection, well done on April 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I stood in the purse department of Target, in the midst of a dreamy vacation, with the tears of reality falling from my eyes.

“Today I say, “Good-bye for now” to my sweet friend Virginia”

As I read, and re-read, and re-read those words again, the FaceBook status of a mutual friend was penetrating my heart, as I realized the reality that those words meant … a good and beautiful woman had died.

About five years ago, Virginia and I completed our SETA (special education learning assistance) course together. Both wives of pastors, both unashamed braggers of our children, both loved to laugh, both loved Christ. It was with Virginia, in the back row of our last course class, that I learned how to text! 5592_pd73484full

Our good intentions to connect were always left with the phrase, “one of these days …” When our paths did intersect, it always felt like I was running into a best bud, from a previous life. That is how SHE made everyone feel … like you were the best thing God ever created! She did not just live out her faith, it poured from her, and there was nothing she was more confident of, than the saving power of Jesus Christ.

The earthly loss of Virginia’s life is a great one. She has a husband, three daughters, family, friends, and others who will miss what she brought into their … into our, lives. Earth has lost a gem! Heaven has lost a most effective ambassador!

As I finish writing this post it is Easter Sunday morning. This will be the first Easter that Virginia gets to fully understand the miracle of resurrection, for she died here, but awoke to heaven … she awoke to her Savior. This is the first Easter that she can hold His pierced hands, and look into His eyes of love … and understand that He … and she … are now among the fully living.

Virginia has now heard the words, “well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:31).

good-bye for now …

… one of these days …

“We do, however,
speak a message of wisdom among the mature,
but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age,
who are coming to nothing. No, we declare God’s wisdom,
a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.
None of the rulers of this age understood it,
for if they had,
they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
However, as it is written:

“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
the things God has prepared for those who love him—“

1 Corinthians 2:6-9

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Easter Sunday

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Chocolate, Easter, raised from the dead, Scripture, Sunday, the third day, video on March 31, 2013| Leave a Comment »

This is a repeat of the post on Easter Sunday …

He is risen indeed!

Last year I posted a video (More than Chocolate) that had been speaking to me, that Easter season. In that tradition, I am posting another this year.

I love the use of scripture to tell a story, to teach a lesson, to touch my heart.

May God,

through words He inspired,

and man brought together,

touch your heart this day of celebrating that

“God raised Him, on the third day.”

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Old to New: The Weight Loss DiaBLOG – Month 9

Posted in Weight Loss DiaBLOG, women, WONDER, tagged diaBLOG, diet, Exercise, losing weight, myfitnesspal, Old to New, pounds, weight, Weight Loss on March 30, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I do not normally post on a Saturday, but today is an exception.

And since it is also the Easter weekend, I thought I would include a little chuckle (Easter style, to the right) or two, and a reminder that we do not have to eat forty days worth of chocolate in one weekend, if that is what was given up for Lent.

It has been a month of counting days until Spring Break, followed by days of … well of not knowing what day it is!

Since I have been away for the past two weeks … away from home, from work, from schedules (from close-toed shoes 😉 ), from the scales … I have no idea what I weigh! I know there have been good days, and days that were not so great. But, whether I was successful at eating healthy, or not, I kept recording what I ate at 112aa172e046cbeb0c2c54930f697bc0 myfitnesspal … and I feel that is really a good habit!

So, it is now spring, and the days are getting more bright, and longer.

Our moods are boosted, and our bodies are empowered by natural Vitamin D that we are absorbing!

It is a great time for a walk, a run, a bike ride!

I will let you know how my weight loss is going next month … oh the suspense!

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Were You There?

Posted in WONDER, tagged 1 Corinthians 2:7-8, crucifixion, Good Friday, Jesus, Johnny Cash, were you there? on March 29, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Were you there when they nailed him to the tree ? File_PassionMovie_NailHand-726x1024

Were you there when they nailed him to the tree ? Nailed-Feet

Were you there when they pierced him in the side ? pierced_side

Were you there when they laid him in the tomb ?

Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble

“we declare God’s wisdom,
a mystery that has been hidden
and that God destined for our glory before time began.
None of the rulers of this age understood it,
for if they had,
they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.”
1 Corinthians 2:7-8

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