Posts Tagged ‘good-bye’

I stood in the purse department of Target, in the midst of a dreamy vacation, with the tears of reality falling from my eyes.

“Today I say, “Good-bye for now” to my sweet friend Virginia”

As I read, and re-read, and re-read those words again, the FaceBook status of a mutual friend was penetrating my heart, as I realized the reality that those words meant … a good and beautiful woman had died.

About five years ago, Virginia and I completed our SETA (special education learning assistance) course together. Both wives of pastors, both unashamed braggers of our children, both loved to laugh, both loved Christ. It was with Virginia, in the back row of our last course class, that I learned how to text!5592_pd73484full

Our good intentions to connect were always left with the phrase, “one of these days …” When our paths did intersect, it always felt like I was running into a best bud, from a previous life. That is how SHE made everyone feel … like you were the best thing God ever created! She did not just live out her faith, it poured from her, and there was nothing she was more confident of, than the saving power of Jesus Christ.

The earthly loss of Virginia’s life is a great one. She has a husband, three daughters, family, friends, and others who will miss what she brought into their … into our, lives. Earth has lost a gem! Heaven has lost a most effective ambassador!

As I finish writing this post it is Easter Sunday morning. This will be the first Easter that Virginia gets to fully understand the miracle of resurrection, for she died here, but awoke to heaven … she awoke to her Savior. This is the first Easter that she can hold His pierced hands, and look into His eyes of love … and understand that He … and she … are now among the fully living.

Virginia has now heard the words, “well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:31).

good-bye for now …

… one of these days …

“We do, however,
speak a message of wisdom among the mature,
but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age,
who are coming to nothing. No, we declare God’s wisdom,
a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.
None of the rulers of this age understood it,
for if they had,
they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
However, as it is written:

“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
the things God has prepared for those who love him—

1 Corinthians 2:6-9


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Today our ‘kids,’ who are not, will go home to their parents, who are, for the summer.

It has been just over ten months since the brother and sister pair moved into our home, our family, our hearts. Even after all that time, I struggle to ‘name’ our relationship.

Hubby and I house them, feed them, drive them here and there. We assist them with homework, with filling out forms, and with understanding life. We sign permission forms and make appointments. We assign chores to them, and speak to them in our firm parent voices. We applaud their successes, we hug them and hear their tales of woe. We attend their school events and sports games. We host their friends, and take them shopping.

But, we are not their parents.

We are a homestay family.

I really struggle to know what our relationship should be called. I really struggle to know how to be a parenting, non-parent.

As a woman who is a mom, I believe they need a daily mom to care for them. I do not just mean to care for their basic physical needs, like food, and shelter. I mean to care for their hearts, their souls and their minds. I believe they need a middle aged woman to say good morning to them, to drive them to school, to scold them when they take too long to get ready in the morning, to ask how their English test was, to watch them play basketball, and drive them to the mall (and shake in my boots as they enter the mall without an adult with them). I believe they need someone to sit on the sofa and watch a movie with, and one to applaud their piano playing, and their math award, and their homemade sushi, and someone to tell them to clean their room. I believe they need a pat on the back, that unimpressed mother ‘look’, and someone to pray with when life just sucks.

Today, as my two children, who are not, head across the world to their mother, who is, I will bid them adieu. In french, a dieu, meaning ‘to God’, commonly translated, I command you to God.

It is in that word, adieu, that I get an understanding of parenting that goes far beyond just my role as a homestay mom. In that one word, I am reminded that whoever God places in our care, whether they be our biological, adopted or ‘borrowed’ children, we are required, and our children benefit most from our giving them back to God.

And, whatever I am to them, and they to me, today my mother heart will bid them a dieu.

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