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Build Each Other Up

Posted in GOD, life, women, WONDER, tagged #buildeachotherup, #encourageoneanother, #momguilt, #momtomom, Parenting on June 11, 2017| Leave a Comment »

I sat in my vehicle, fatigued and elated, after the graduation ceremony for my son and his peers, and opened the envelope that was addressed … to me.

As I opened the card (to the left) I read the unexpected, encouraging words, from one mom to another. And the floodgates opened.

Although this day had been one of joy, pride and celebration, the week had been one of self doubt, regrets, and feelings of parental failure. And we all have those times, don’t we?

The words in this note card fed my momma heart. They nurtured my soul. They gave me reason to lift my head.

Really what they did was remind me that I am human. Sometimes I blow it, as a parent. Sometimes I get it right. Don’t we all live with this reality?

1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds us,

“encourage each other and build each other up,
just as you are already doing.”

This little card, written by another momma, did that for me. This small token, it’s greatest value is not only in the words, but the fact that she made the effort to encourage.

Not only did it encourage me, but it also reminded me that I need to encourage others. Don’t we all need that?

So, thank-you friend, fellow mom who is travelling this unpredictable, windy road called parenting. You have encouraged me and your kind act fed my momma soul.

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As my Son Graduates High School

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, The Kids, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #asmysongraduates, #asmysongraduateshighschool, #classof2017, #eternallegacy, #graduation2017, #lookaround, #nicolenordeman, Legacy on June 8, 2017| Leave a Comment »

To my son, as he graduates tonight from high school:

Tonight you dress in a cap and gown, a shirt and tie.
Tonight you cross a stage, have a tassel crossed over your head.
Tonight is the end, tonight is the beginning.

The other night I needed you to do an errand with me. What I needed was time with you, needed to hear from you about how you feel about graduation.

If I were to give our conversation a one-word theme, it would be legacy.

You shared with me what you wish your legacy would be, but your disappointment that you felt you had failed in accomplishing your desire …
we always have regrets when things come to an end.

To leave a legacy is to leave a gift for those who come after. In reality, we all leave a legacy, some good, and some not so good.

As your mom, I see your legacy quite differently from you.
moms tend to see things differently.

About a month ago I walked down the halls of school with you. As we walked, and talked, there was a constant injection of “hey Ben” from guys in younger grades. Finally I asked how all these students knew who you were.

You, nonchalantly, replied, “I just got to know them. I remember what it was like to be one of the younger kids in school, and how good it was when an older guy knew my name, so I got to know their names.”
this momma saw a good legacy … an eternal legacy

Last week a mom told me of a grad event and how she could not find a student who was comfortable to pray for the meal. Finally she asked a group, “who will pray, so that we can eat our meal?” To which the group replied, “Ben.” She said that when she asked you, you quickly said yes.
this mom saw a good legacy … an eternal legacy

A year ago you spoke in chapel at school. Through your words you communicated the love that God has for us all. You shared that God’s love is not dependent on what we do, what we’ve done, that he is always there for us all.
to share Gods love for others is a great legacy … an eternal legacy

My dear,

You know the joys of applause after performing a play …

and you know that it comes to an end.

To leave a legacy of quietly caring, of being thankful, of sharing of the redemptive story of God’s love (and you know, that redemption is the best theme of any story). These are pieces of an eternal legacy … one that doesn’t sit on a shelf and collect dust.

A few months ago I sent you a song (probably not your style of music, but the words …). If you need a legacy goal for your life, I send you back to Nicole Nordeman’s song Legacy. My hope for you, is “that you choose to love, point to (Christ). Leave an offering, (be) a child of mercy and grace who blessed (his) name unapologetically.”

Keep looking around, Ben. You know how fast a season of life can move, live towards an eternal legacy.

I love you
I love you
I love you,

Mom

feris

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The End is Coming

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #endoftheschoolyear, #finishwell, #redeemtheschoolyear, #theendiscoming, june on June 6, 2017| Leave a Comment »

As the calendar turned to June, the theme at high school moves to finishing the school year.

Talk in the classrooms, the hallways and at staff meetings is of the last day of school, exams, studying and graduation.

It is at this time in the school year that a Biblical concept raises its head in the minds of those who both would and would not typically ascribe Toni daily life.

This concept comes from 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

I think that many who refer to this verse do so as a challenge to themselves or for others. It is the message we all need to keep in our minds as we focus on this place between where we are, and where we are headed. It reminds us that it is not the destination we are headed, but how we get there.

It is a good time, for school staff, students and parents of students to continue doing well, or, as is more often the case, redeem the parts of the year when we messed up, were apathetic, or were damaging in some way to those around us.

It amazes me how the strong effort of a student in preparation for a final exam can impress a teacher who had previously seen little evidence of effort. Or how the note of appreciation from a parent to a teacher who had a positive influence on their child can give a difficult school year true meaning. Or how a teacher can move a student from the pit of despair, to seeing a glimmer of light, by looking into the eyes of a student who has struggled all year, and saying “I know how hard this has been for you. This is only one small part of life. This exam does not define who you are.”

So, lets finish well, by encouraging those around us, who might just need a bit of hope for the weeks to come, or to erase the year past.

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That Hallowed Hedge

Posted in Faith, GOD, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #hallowedbethyname, #holyground, #malcolmguite, #thathallowedhedge on June 4, 2017| Leave a Comment »

As I perused the written and photographic materials for my gifted trip of a lifetime, my imagination was ignited when I saw the ariel image of an extensive, hedged driveway. All of a sudden my dream had focused from the macro of being in Italy, to the micro of walking of walking this massive pathway.

On my seventh day at the Tenuta Bichi Borghesi estate I finally stepped into the over one hundred and fifty meters of expertly trimmed hedge avenue.

I am not sure why it took me so long! Perhaps, in the deep recesses of my heart, I was afraid that my desires had built up this dream, beyond what it would be like, to wander this private oasis. Perhaps I was simply postponing this personal gift, so as to extend that anticipation. Or, perhaps, I was just too busy taking in all of the preliminary events and pleasures of the estate, it’s fruits, it’s people.

So, on that hot afternoon, I took my first steps into the cool avenue, protected from the glare of the sun.

And I felt it …

bubbling up inside of me,

causing goose bumps to form on my humid skin,

causing my heart to flutter,

causing my legs, my feet, to want to skip,

like a child, inhibited by societies norms and expectations.

Child-like joy.

I spent fifteen minutes walking, skipping, sitting on a marble bench, snapping photos and pausing to breath in the fresh, heady scent of the air, the dirt, the greenery.

I reached the end to find an enormous dual swinging metal gate, that must have been ten feet tall. I felt it’s cool, smooth rungs, and wondered at the hands that formed it with the heat of fire, heavy, pounding tools, and workmanship and skill rarely seen today.

On my return, to where I began, I walked slowly, reverently, uttering only words of thanks for all that I was able to see, to hear, to smell, taste and touch on my gifted opportunity to wander.

Praise makes holy, hallowed, everything in it’s presence.

It was a pilgrimage of praise, on holy (hallowed) ground.

hedge 1

Hallowed by thy Name
“There’s something in the sound of the word hallow;
A haunting sense of everything we’ve lost
Amidst the trite, the trivial, the shallow,
Where nothing lingers, nothing seems to last.
But Hallowed, summons up our fear and wonder,
And summons us to stand on holy ground.
To sense the mystery that stands just under
Familiar things we’ll never understand.

Hallowed be thy name: the name unspoken,
The name from which all other names arise,
The name that heals the sick and binds the broken,
Whose living glory calls the dead to rise.
You make this prayer my rising and my rest
That I might bless the name by which I’m blessed.”
Malcolm Guite

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Refreshment

Posted in FAMILY, The Hubby, The Kids, WONDER, tagged #loverofbeauty, #wemustcarryitwithus, Beauty, Refreshment on June 1, 2017| 1 Comment »

I am a lover of beauty.

Beautiful art, beautiful people, beautiful music, beautiful stories, beautiful landscapes, beautiful food, all of it!

To just see, hear, smell, touch and taste that which evokes joyous emotion can fill my cup to the brim, and flowing over. It can revive my mind, heart and soul like a mini revolution.

Sunday afternoon I retuned to Pacific timezone, after twenty hours of packing followed by travel. I was not well-rested, yet I was revived by the myriad of beauty I had encountered throughout the ten day trip to Italy.

Just the day prior, I was walking the streets of Florence. Florence is the birthplace of the Italian Renaissance.

I walked through a tour of the Bargello Museum, and took in works by Michelangelo, Donatello, Benvenuto Cellini and more, listening to the history, known of each piece, touching the cool statues, looking into the eyes formed from the stone, with such detail, such affection, with tears in my own.

While walking the stone streets I paused to hear two gentlemen making stringed music. As their song ended, I turned to continue on my way, but turned, involuntarily, as their rendition of Pachabel’s Canon caused the tears to flow from someplace so deep inside.

In the hot afternoon, I sat in the shade, enjoying the freshness of every morsel of my slice of Italian pizza, while watching a couple dining al fresco, as he lovingly, passionately, kissed her hand, their eyes only able to see those of their lover, both in the seventies.

After inquiring about the famous Italian liqueur, Limoncello, the shop owner pulled out a chilled bottle, offering me a taste that, again, tasted of a freshness I had rarely encountered before.

Beauty, beauty everywhere!

I came home utterly exhausted. But my physical fatigue was no match for the overall sense of refreshment.

And, as I looked across the baggage carousel, with refreshed body, mind and soul, I was, again, moved to tears, to see my love smiling, beautifully, back at me. And, in the hours that followed, my three other most beautiful ones and I reunited.

Beauty, beauty everywhere!

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us
or we find it not.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Remember Your History

Posted in community, life, WONDER, tagged #architecturalbeauty, #architecturalhistory, #doorsandwindows, #italy, #rememberyourhistory, history on May 30, 2017| 3 Comments »

As I scanned my collection of Italian vacation photos, I came to a clear and obvious conclusion …

I have a thing for doors and windows.

Every location that I visited had images of doors, shutters and iron rails represented in the daily photo album.

But why?

Visual beauty, for certain, as they caught my eye long enough for a photo to be taken, but there was more.

As the doors and windows, shutters and iron gates caught my attention, I was unable to resist the next step. Oh yes, I frequently reached for my camera, but, more frequently, I simply reached out my hand.

I touched the grain of the wood, stone or iron. Often, I would close my eyes and imagine the hands that touched, as did my own, through dozens and hundreds of years. The years of history that went through these passageways might include warriors, the wealthy, the downtrodden, politicians, people famous in their field, and people who lived simple lives.

History can be felt, as it can be seen, or heard, or even smelled.

I live in a place in our world that lusts for what is new. Homes that age beyond fifty years, are viewed as dispensable, replaceable. Today’s home buyers are not looking for ‘pre-owned homes’, but new construction, with nothing from the past, nothing to do, but move in. Established, older homes are upgraded, updated and features such as doors replaced.

History is replaced, disposed of, never to be thought of again.

And so we turn our backs on historical architecture, but we also turn our backs on our history.

It has been said that if we forget our history, we are bound to repeat it.

In the movie Jackie (about Jackie Kennedy), Jackie said, in the movie, “objects and artifacts last far longer than people, and they represent important ideas, history, identity, beauty.”

History is not just the events that happened in the past, it is the people, places and all that surrounded the the events. History is in every nook and cranny of our world, and every thing tells a part of the story from beginning to end.

“Remember your history,
    your long and rich history.
I am God, the only God you’ve had or ever will have—
    incomparable, irreplaceable—
From the very beginning
    telling you what the ending will be,
All along letting you in
    on what is going to happen,
Assuring you, ‘I’m in this for the long haul,
    I’ll do exactly what I set out to do,’”
Isaiah 46:9-10

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Unhidden Love

Posted in WONDER on May 25, 2017| Leave a Comment »

Dear Hubby,

I am writing this as a bus drives us from the palace (built in 1572) of a count, to a city on a hill.

Isn’t there always a city on a hill?

My tummy is full of the exquisitely prepared, four course meal, prepared by a Michelin Star Chef, served with wines, handpicked by a wine expert.

All who are empty are filled to beyond satisfaction.

My accommodations for this trip have been at the estate of the most hospitable hostess, whose husbands family first built the estate in the 1600s.

“Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.”

Yesterday I toured the private family chapel at the estate, where I am staying. It’s ceilings and walls hand-painted by father and son. It was a place of cool solace on a hot and dry Tuscan day.

“There will be a shelter to give shade from the heat by day, and refuge and protection from the storm and rain.”

I so appreciate this gift that was beyond my ability to receive all those months ago, when you shared this for me. You were able to dream for me so much more than I am able to dream for myself.

Your love for me is so visible through all that I see, and hear, and smell and taste.

It is unhidden and I it see so clearly.

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Morning has Broken

Posted in WONDER on May 23, 2017| 1 Comment »

Each day, at the Bichi Borghesi estate, begins with the sounds of such a variety of chirping birds, as I have never heard. Soon after, the dawn chorus is accompanied by a most local rooster, cock-a-doodling boldly from the farm above our apartment.

The light, filtered through the gauzy curtains, confirms for my eyes, what my ears have already told me, morning has broken.

Though my brain is full of fog, the events of the new day awaken my imagination and my eyes pop open fully as my heart begins it’s beat of anticipation.

Another day has birthed wide awake in this amazingly serene Tuscan paradise.

Once morning ablutions are complete, chit chat with my lady roomies leads us to our morning breakfast kitchen.

Until the scheduled breakfast start time, the heavy wood door remains closed, building our anticipation and appetites.

Then the ‘golden hour’ arrives, and the door opens with a welcoming smile on the faces of our hostesses.

We enter into the brightly painted room, to perfectly set tables, delicious hand made baked goods, freshly prepared fruitful our bowls, hot eggs with vegetables, sliced Italian cheese and ham.

The most anticipated delicacy is the hot Italian coffee, full-bodied flavour, the likes of which I have never tasted before. Adding the cold milk only enhances its perfection (and that is saying something when one normally only prefers her essential fluid-fuel with half-n-half).

The volume of the room rises as each woman enters to cheers and greetings and good mornings. The bright and friendly golden walls only reflect the bright and friendly souls who enter in, for sustenance, for sisterhood.

It is home, yet not home.

Morning has broken …

And I wonder how close it might be to that first morning.

Mine is the sunlight!

Mine is the morning

Born of the one light

Eden saw play!

Praise with elation

Praise every morning

God’s re-creation

Of the new day!

-Elenor Farjeon (popularized by Cat Stevens)

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Good Morning Florence

Posted in WONDER on May 21, 2017| 1 Comment »

I awoke this morning eager to see what only illuminated my imagination last evening, when I arrived at my accommodation in the dark.

The image, above, of the Meseo Nazionale del Bargello (in Florence, Italy) did not disappoint.

Pigeons cooing outside my windows, as thy sunned themselves on the warm tile rooftops only added to my feeling that I was not awake, but still dreaming. Of course a nine hour time change, and about eighteen hours of airplanes and airports also contributed to the feeling that I was not awake.

This pinch me, am I really in Italy? trip was the brainchild of my good friend (who also happens to host the retreat) and the hubby (who really just wanted to get rid of me so he could have a week of burgers and pizza).

As one who had never been outside of North America this destination was not even one that I could realistically have said that I even dreamed of taking. As a matter of fact, just last week my son asked if this was a dream come true trip, to which I replied,

I just don’t dream this big.

And yet, though a trip to Italy has never graced my still-to-start-filling bucket list, I am inhaling each and every view, every delicious morsel and find myself continually sighing at everything in view, with delight (and there is so much to be delighted with).

I anticipate the themes of this week to be food, visual delights and sighing.

When one is in a beautiful place, a desired place, an anticipated place, light or dark, beauty can and will be seen.

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It Really is the Little Things

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #carolewithane, #chaostodelight, #itreallyisthelittlethings, #theverybadday on May 18, 2017| Leave a Comment »

I backed down my driveway like a bat outta hell, consciously tapping my knee as rhythmically I could, trying to slow my quickened heartbeat and breathing.

I was in a panic.

The hours before I leave for the pinch me so I know this is really happening to me trip were moving like sand in an hourglass, with no concern whether I was ready or not.

Panic #1
I had just remembered in the afternoon that I had not alerted my bank and credit card company of my upcoming trip. I want to do two things on my trip, eat good food and buy good edibles to bring home, both of which require money. So I can not have my plastic rejected!

Panic #2
I had called the number on my credit card, but, after over ten minutes, pushing every freaking number they had to offer me, I still couldn’t get a human on the line (my brain synapses do not synapse so well when I have too much on my mind).

Panic #3
I wanted to have dinner together, as I will be missing my family (maybe not the first few days, but I will eventually miss them).

So, off I drove to the bank … surely a human, with skin on, would be easier on my mis-synapsing brain! Then I could get home to enjoy a last supper together.

Panic #4
I forgot where I was going on my way to the bank. More specifically, I forgot where the bank (that I have been to … two to three thousand times) was located (synapses, I tell you).

Panic #5
There was a line-up at the bank. I was NOT going to let this get to me. I even soothed the poor man who was thinking that the tellers were not working very fast, by telling him that they were probably slower because there are so thorough!

Panic #6 & 7 & 8
I told the teller my tale of woe, and she then informed me that it is no longer necessary to alert credit card companies and banks of such trips (envision a look on my face that would communicate what planet are you from?). Then (#7) I ask her to please make a note anyway, and she says she doesn’t have the authorization to do so on my credit card, and (get this) … I will need to call the number on the back of my credit card (the volcano was rumbling). Then (#8) I said, could you please make a note on my debit card? To which she replied, well that’s really not necessary (then, I think, she saw the smoke emerge from my facial orifices), but if that would make you feel better I’ll just do that. At this point her fingers were moving across the keyboard, but I am still not convinced that she actually made the note.

Panic #9
I decided to go to the mall, to the currency exchange, to get the cash I would need. I parked close to the door (a miracle), and scurried through the mall to the kiosk. As I was approaching the kiosk, I noted that there was no human visible. I then noticed a clock-like sign on the window … it was 4:15, the clock said “returning at 5:30”.

I cannot even remember what happened next.

All I know is that I ended up in a coffee shop, to caffeinate my muddled, no-synapses-firing mind (wine would have been a better option, as it, at least, relaxes me).

The coffee shop host was effervescent (too effervescent for my mood) as he asked what I would like to order (had he asked me how my day was … it’s just so good that he didn’t ask about my day). I sighed and asked for a tall Americano. Then, what could have been ordinary, changed the course of the day for me.

He asked my name, to write it on the cup.

I replied, “Carol” (not because my name is Carol, but because when I say, Carole (see the ‘e’ at the end? Like Anne, from Green Gables) NO ONE EVER SPELLS IT RIGHT! And I’m okay with it, and I wouldn’t be so anal as to spell it for them, but sometimes, sometimes …

you just want someone to know who you are).

And then, Mr. Effervescent says, “is that with an ‘e’ at the end?”

And the world, momentarily stopped moving.

And the rhythm of my heart, and breathing slowed as I gasped.

And I contemplated jumping over the counter and hugging him, whilst a fountain of tears soaked his shirt.

And, I smiled, and looked Mr. Effervescent right in the eyes and said, “yes, with an ‘e’. And thank-you … you’ll never know how you asking that has just made my day.”

And that is all.

It really is the little things that can change the trajectory of a chaotic day.

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