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My Pastor’s Kids

Posted in WONDER, tagged #1corinthians12:27, #compassion, #lifeofapastorskids, #mypastorskids, #pks, #thebodyofchrist, Understanding on May 13, 2015| 6 Comments »

Sometimes, being the mom of PKs (Pastor’s Kids) can be comical, such as when our kids nonchalantly speak of having ‘funeral food’ for dinner when their school friends are over. Sometimes it can be heartwarming, such as when individuals (usually retired pastors) tell us that they pray for our kids. Sometimes it can be disheartening, such as when they get told that, as a pastor’s kid, they should or should not do a certain thing.

Sometimes I fear, in the depth of my soul, that their view of God will be jaded by their negative experiences in such a way that they will never feel that they can be good enough for His love, acceptance and forgiveness.

The other day I was reminded that they get it, and by ‘it’ I mean, what really matters.

This past weekend has been heartbreaking for our church, and community. Pastor-hubby-dad has been pre-occupied with death, grieving and really just being shepherd to a heartbroken flock, a heartbroken community. He was a bit of a shell, with little left to bring home.

The kids did not seem to mind, but just took him as he was.

Throughout Monday, as each child came home, they each asked their dad how he was, if his day went okay, if he was tired.

With each ‘child’s’ words of concern and compassion, I realized that they got ‘it’. They showed that they understood the weight that was resting on their dad’s shoulders, and they realized that what he does matters in the lives of others. They also showed respectful understanding of his job, his role, his responsibilities. They showed their dad love and compassion.

It that was not enough to bless my mamma/wife-heart, hubby-dad then shared the most beautiful part of his day, as we sat down to dinner.

As his work day was just beginning, his phone rang. On the other end was a woman in her eighties, calling from another province, thousands of miles away. She said something along the lines of,

“you don’t know me, pastor, but I searched for you, after hearing your name, and the tragic events that have touched your church. I want to let you know that I know these days will be difficult ones for you, and I will be praying for you.”

Looking around the table, I saw that they ‘got it’ again … that the hands and feet of God are His people, His church, near and far.

“Now you are the body of Christ,
and each one of you is a part of it.”

1 Corinthians 12:27

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What I Want My Kids to Remember Most

Posted in WONDER, tagged #mothersday, #whatiwantmykidstoremembermost, laughter on May 11, 2015| 2 Comments »

” … and you laugh so hard you hope they always remember”
Ann Voskamp

Although Mother’s Day is now past, I am still in a maternally reflective mood.

I figure the day after Mother’s Day is the day when I get to start over again. The slate is clean, and I can once again vie for the Mother of the Year Award … of course I will lose it again by nightfall, but here’s dreaming.

Pondering motherhood is different at different stages of life.

When you are not yet a mother, it might scare you to bits, or excite you crazily.

When you are trying to achieve motherhood, it can be all consuming.

When you are pregnant … well, it may scare you to bits, or excite you crazily. Either way, everything looks differently to you.

When your child is born (or placed in your life by adoption), your world is turned up-side-down, and has spun off its axis. The magnitude of responsibility you hold in your arms becomes reality. You think you can never love anyone this much (until you have another child). Every other thing you do in live is less important. You are immediately less important.

Over time, the weight of the responsibility of motherhood can diminish other parts of us. We can get so concerned that they are clean, do their homework, eat their veggies, be kind to all people, and wear clean underwear (everyday), that we become goal focused, and lost out on one of the most important facets of parenting …

laughing together.

When I am cold with the emptiness of life’s breath, I do not want (nor do I expect) my kids to say,

“wasn’t it great that she cooked a variety of vegetables, so that we could each have something we liked?”

NO!

I want them to remember deep, belly laughs. I want them to remember joy. I want them to remember that I could forget my adulthood long enough to giggle in the quiet of church, to joke about putting a full dog poo bag in people’s mailboxes, to have tears of silliness falling from my face, when recalling the ridiculous events of our days.

I want them to remember that I laughed, and that they can remember laughing with me … that they always remember that.

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Good Mother

Posted in FAMILY, Love, WONDER, tagged Love, Mother's Day on May 10, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Mother’s Day is so … daunting, if you are a child.

Mother’s Day is so … stressful, if you are a husband of a mother (so my hubby says).

Mother’s Day is so … lonely, if you are a mom, whose child is not longer on this earth.

Mother’s Day is so … full of hurt, if motherhood has not happened for you.

Mother’s Day is so … beautiful, if you are blessed to be a mom (so, I say … no gifts required, but time together is always appreciated).

But for this blog, I write, not as a mom (as if that is possible), but as a daughter. And, this is a daunting thing to do.

When I think of my mom, I think of the words of a Jane Arden song, “Good Mother”:

“I’ve got money in my pocket,

I like the color of my hair 😉 ,

I’ve got a friend who loves me,

I’ve got a house, got a car,

I’ve got a good mother,

and her voice is what keeps me here”

But, what does ‘good mother’ mean to me, as I think about my mom?

She didn’t do it all right. She didn’t wear pearls, like June Cleaver. She didn’t have warm baked cookies for us when we came home from school. She didn’t read to us at bedtime every night. She didn’t keep her cool at all times. She didn’t drop what she was doing, every time I wanted her attention. She doesn’t always have wisdom to share (advice, though, … always). She didn’t work into the night sewing, and cleaning and whatever else that Proverbs 31 chick was supposed to do.

She is not perfect! Which is okay to me, because I am a mother, and I am so aware that ‘perfect’ and ‘mother’ do not go together (and surely, I was not perfect, as a daughter either).

But here is what she did right, in my mind:

She, despite being single and poor, chose to give birth to me.

She chose to marry, not just a man who would love her, but one who would be the best father to me, and to my brothers, that they would have in the years that followed.

She chose to do what she could, by caring for others children, to contribute financially to our family during the years when interest rates soared to near 20%.

She encouraged relationships with the parents of herself and our dad.

She celebrated … everything! If there was reason, there was cake!

She made birthdays special for my brothers and I.

She worked hard, with our dad, to maintain a marriage that has survived just over 40 years.

She loves us, all.

It would be so easy, too easy, to pick apart the problems, the mistakes, the weaknesses … the sins of our mother. But that does nothing to benefit anyone … that does nothing for her, that does nothing for us, for me.

She taught me to be honest, trustworthy, kind, sensitive and good to others, to be myself, and that it is a good thing to love God. I am, flaws and all, who I am because of my upbringing, because of my good mother. I believe my own children will only love me, in proportion to how I have modeled my love for my own mother. The jury is still out on how that is going to go.

But I know that I love her. I know that I respect her. I know that I could never know what it was to walk in her shoes, because I have been blessed to have grown up in a different time, with different parents, and different circumstances.

I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she did the best she could, with the resources that were available to her. And I know that, one thing is for sure, she has loved me from my earliest beginnings and will until we part on this earth.

“I’ve got a good mother, and her voice is what keeps me here,

Feet on ground, heart in hand, facing forward,

Be yourself”

* this is a re-post from four years ago … but still so true.

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Supermom

Posted in WONDER, tagged #mothersday, #skitguys, #supermom on May 8, 2015| Leave a Comment »

As Mothers Day is just around the corner it is time to celebrate the women who gave us life, either those who physically birthed us, or those who nurtured our lives in a meaningful way.

As a daughter of a mother, I am horrible at adequately expressing love to my own mother. I live on the west coast, and she on the east. I work ‘school’ hours, so I cannot ever spend this day with her. And, to be honest, the real reason I fail on this day is because I am a procrastinator.

Just a couple of days ago I sent myself a note:

It’s this weekend, Carole!

As in, you are entering into the 11th hour Carole!

As in, call the florist in the village where your mom lives … NOW Carole!)

That is how ridiculous I am at expressing my affection, thankfulness and love to my mom.

This Mothers Day, my own mom will be recuperating from surgery, and I just wish I could be there with her, to assist her in her returning to her daily routine.

I hope she feels my love, sent telepathically across the country. She really is a supermom!

I wanted to share a cute video, that will have you laughing, and maybe even pulling out the tissues.

Happy Mother’s Day!

http://youtu.be/zkprjeipGD4

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Nobody Told Me There’d Be Days Like These

Posted in WONDER, tagged #baddays, #dayslikethese, #john16:33, #oneofthosedays, #strangedays on May 6, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Ever have one of those days?

You know what I’m talking about, because we have all had them! One of those days when it just would have been better to stay in bed … for your protection … for the protection of your sanity!

I had one of those days recently.

Upon waking, the day ahead seemed bright … Friday is often like that.

Even when I left for work, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I had a smile on my face. I was feeling so good, I decided to stop for a tea on my way to work.

But, the drive thru line was longer than I realized …

I somehow forgot to count when I went to pay for my tea (and the ability was not coming back fast enough) …

I spilled the piping hot beverage down my front, as the cover was not on tightly …

My water bottle cover was also not on tightly, and my lunch got rinsed thoroughly …

Upon arriving at school, the early morning meeting was not what or where I had remembered …

And, and, and …

Things did not improve … until I climbed into bed, later that day, eager to fall asleep and say good bye to this day.

We all have days like that. Days when it seems that there are forces all around playing havoc with our peace, our productivity and our sanity.

In John 16:33 we are reminded that troubles are to be expected:

“… in this world you will have trouble.“

Now that could be message enough to send us back to bed, each and every morning, but the message does not end there!

“But take heart!
I have overcome the world.”

Even in our Murphy’s Law kind of days, we need to hold to the promise that Christ himself has overcome it all … and all for you and me.

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Ignoring Demons

Posted in WONDER, tagged #ignoringdemons, #johnnash, #thornintheflesh, #torture, Struggles on May 4, 2015| 4 Comments »

Got a temptation?

A constant frustration?

A pain?

A flaw?

Got a thorn?

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Paul understood struggles with regards to his flesh, his humanness.

A number of weeks back I re-watched the movie A Beautiful Mind, and was captivated by how true the following lines are in dealing with real life struggles:

“I still see things that are not here. I just choose not to acknowledge them. Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream.”

“I’ve gotten used to ignoring them and I think, as a result, they’ve kind of given up on me. I think that’s what it’s like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we’ve got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

Both quotes from the movie are lines by the Russell Crowe real-life mathematician, John Nash, who struggled with the effects of life with Paranoid Schizophrenia.

Mr. Nash knows what it is to live with real life struggles.

Though I do not know if the lines, credited to John Nash, speak his own words, I do believe that they speak to us all, in the areas of our life that are our tempters, torturers or trials.

We all live with a thorn (or two, or …). We all know what it is to struggle, to agonize.

What Mr. Nash reminds us is that “we’ve got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

What Paul reminds us is that “when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Help us, today, to remember to not feed the thorn in our lives, and help us to rely on God’s strength to thrive despite the torment.

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Renovated, Restored, Redeemed

Posted in WONDER, tagged #furniturerefinishig, #renovated, #renovatedrestoredredeemed, redeemed, restored, Sacrifice on May 1, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Finally the tasks of collecting unwanted furniture, followed by inspection, cleaning, painting, sanding and waxing are completed. I now have a beautiful, freshly painted table and four reupholstered chairs. I am smiling.

I collected the chairs last fall, and the table a few months ago. Though they did not come together as a set, the design of the legs of table and chairs is the same … they belong together.

The finish on the chairs was marred by years of use. The table and the upholstery fabric on the chairs not at all complementary to today’s styles. I paid a small price for the four chairs and table, because they were undesirable, unattractive and unwanted.

I love the process of refinishing old, unwanted furniture. New paint, a top waxing and new fabric can make what was previously unwanted, desirable and renewed.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it is not an easy process. I spent hours painting this furniture (I really need to get my paint sprayer working), then sanding, then the waxing process of wax on, wax off, plus the time measuring, cutting and attaching the upholstery fabric. It took two weeks for my carpel tunnel syndrome in my hands to stop waking me at night from the pain.

But, when I stand back and take a look at the great improvement this redemption of old, unwanted furniture has been, all the work has been worth it.

This process always makes me wonder,

does God look at us this way?
does He look at us and think,
the sacrifice has been worth the result?

Of course, those of us who know of the great love of our God, know that His answer would be “yes” (“for no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God” 2 Corinthians 1:20). Sometimes, though, we need to be reminded of this truth, of His love.

May you, today, know of the redemption available through the great sacrifice of Christ, for you.

“… Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.“
Isaiah 43:1b

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Raising the Bar

Posted in WONDER, tagged #bebetter, #raisingthebar, excellence, perfect on April 29, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Sometimes we need to avoid that which is out of our grasp, but sometimes …

Ever gone into a store, a shop, a boutique that you can barely afford to browse the goods that are displayed?

Ever surfed the vacation websites for exotic destinations and lavish holidays?

Ever searched for real estate, and intentionally checked out properties that you couldn’t afford the maintenance costs, let alone the mortgage?

Doing such things can be a recipe for emotional disaster …

Sometimes, though, to see what is out of our reach might be the necessary nudge to change or improve our current circumstances.

Such can be the case when reading the Bible about what is required or expected of how we live our lives, as followers of Christ.

“… and what does the Lord require of you?
to act justly,
and to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with your God.”
Micah 6:8

(that is not easy)

“But you are to be perfect,
as your father in heaven is perfect.”
Matthew 5:48

(perfect? yikes!)

“Love the Lord your God
with all your heart
and with all your soul
and with all your mind
and with all your strength.
The second is this:
love your neighbor as yourself.
There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31

(wow! I’m sure I am not that selfless)

These are just three examples of the standard for those of us who claim the name of Christian. The bar is high! Impossibly high! Yet it’s height is not to discourage us, but to prod us along, to encourage us to aim high.

We serve a risen Savior. In His rising he raised that bar for us. Not to discourage us, but to move us beyond our present circumstances, to something better.

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Shattered Dreams

Posted in WONDER, tagged #1corinthians13, #brokentogether, #castingcrowns, #christianmarriage, #shatteredtogether, Love, Marriage on April 27, 2015| Leave a Comment »

As I heard through the window the rain pelt hard on the roof of the deck, while an unfamiliar song played from atop my kitchen counter, I was transported back, about twenty-six years.

I was sitting on one side of an antique sofa, close, very close, with the one who made my heart’s beat become rapid beside me. In separate chairs sat another couple, a seasoned, imperfect, married couple. I remember that with every marital challenge they mentioned in the pre-marital counselling, I thought, “that is surely no problem for us, we are perfect for each other.”

“I wore the veil, I walked the aisle, I took your hand and we dove into a mystery …”

After twenty-five years marriage all I feel I know now is that we are not perfect, for each other, or for anyone else. Some days are “delight” … most are somewhere between tough work and a blood bath.

“no we’re not the fairy tale we’d dreamed we’d be …”

The way marriage is depicted, within the church, is like a fragile piece of crystal … always on display, with all difficulties, scars and imperfections out of sight. Ugly reality, we Christians seem to think, is not what the world should see, not what God wants us to show.

Mark Hall, from the music group, Casting Crowns, says, “marriage is tough. We bring a lot of fairy tales to the picture when it comes to marriage … then the problems hit and (we) don’t know where to file those into your picture …”

I would add, we don’t know where to go with our problems, our scars, our secrets, because we are scared that admitting a lack of perfection would scar the reputation of our Savior … (we really have quite the pompous view of ourselves).

“maybe you and I were never meant to be complete …”

Could we be wrong? Could it be that in marrying one who makes our heart skip a beat, we are never intended to actually achieve completeness? oneness? Or maybe, though given to each other in the garden of Eden, for mutual comfort, and oneness, the consequences of sin are such that perfection, and completeness cannot be achieved this side of heaven?

“we were buildings kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind …”

Probably the most commonly used passage in the Bible, at wedding ceremonies, is 1 Corinthians 13 … the ‘love’ chapter. It contains definition after definition of what love is, and what it is not. But little emphasis is give to two very important verses:

“For we know in part
and we prophesy/dream in part,
but when completeness comes,
what is in part disappears”
1 Corinthians 13:9-10

Of these verses, the Matthew Henry Commentary shares this thought:

“But there (heaven), love will be made perfect. There we shall perfectly love God. And there we shall perfectly love one another. Blessed state! How much surpassing the best below (here)!”

Perfect love, perfect completeness is the goal, but the prize, the fulfillment of this is only in that lofty place of eternity.

“If you can bring your shattered dreams, and I’ll bring mine …
the only way to last forever, is broken together.”

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For Eternity

Posted in WONDER, tagged #foreternity, #fredrickbuechner, #worstthing, Resurrection on April 24, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Whenever I get an idea of something I want to write about, I send myself a text, so that I do not forget. Then, when I have the time, I move that text into a draft post. Sometimes I complete the post, and schedule it then and there … more often it sits in my draft folder, until I am searching through my drafts for something to write.

As I searched through my thirty-something draft posts, I came across the one with no name, and only the image seen above.

Originally I had intended it for Easter.

As I read, and reread, the quote, I felt more desire to complete this one now, rather than put it on ice until next Easter.

What is your worst thing?

In our world there are so many things that can knock the air from our lungs, leaving us incapable of taking our next breath.

heartaches.

failures.

disappointments.

confusion.

stress.

uncertainty.

maybe it is something you cannot even give words to.