Addiction | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘Addiction’

From Marathon to Misery

Posted in WONDER, tagged Addiction, Crawley, Downton Abbey, from marathon to misery, humor on May 29, 2013| Leave a Comment »

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The problem started as soon as Matthew met Mary, with the mixture of misery and magic in their first glance at one another. I knew I was hooked to Downton Abbey! bea8241d69aa1722594fd55315b47889

I tried to start slowly, not allowing myself to be taken in by the ridiculousness of ‘needing’ to watch each episode. I tried to resist identifying with every character from Lady Mary Crawley, to her mother Countess Cora Crawley, to housemaid Anna Smith-Bates, to even Violet, the Dowager Countess of Grantham. I tried to pace myself …

But, alas, I was snookered into falling in love with the characters, the countryside, the grand estates, the lovely white Labrador Isis, the amazing costuming, and the language … I simply squeal with delight at the clever, sarcastic, yet proper conversations and lines.

3624c62560ee1e0f04f4e51c514c4d1c What started as a desire to watch an episode or two a week, turned into my having viewed the entire first season in less than one week!

Then I was reminded why addictions are bad … I could not find another online way to view season two … for free (Scottish heritage can overtake almost any addiction)! Now I really had a problem, because I just had to know how the ends left hanging from season one would be tied neatly up again. So, I bit my Scottish pride, and purchased the first episode of season two ($2.99! Highway robbery!)

Well, I just knew that I needed to see the rest of that season, and it was not falling freely from the clouds, so I headed to the library and ordered both season two and three. What I did not know was how long it would take for them to become free …

489e8977b2641566cf071b785df2a047 I put my request in the first week of March, and only got my copy on the 24th of May! And it was not season two, but season three. Apparently there were still thirty-four people ahead of me for season two! I wanted to cry! I had what I wanted, but it was wrong to skip a season, if I were to truly enjoy the program.

As I complained bitterly to hubby, he said, “didn’t I tell you I found both seasons online … for free?” Yikes! It is a good thing that I needed his assistance to view the show, otherwise that poor man might have been beaten up by a Downton Abbey-starved woman!

70b6b64e0daed122fe7a90972dcafbae So, season two was viewed partially on a Saturday night, and the remainder on Sunday afternoon.

Season three (the library version) was started after work on a Monday, and soon to be completed.

I am already in a state of misery, as those characters have become friends, and Downton has become like a home to me. I surely will not find peace until I locate season 4, but then what? I will need to wait until the new season begins, and how long three months seems right now, having watched two seasons in less than one week!

This is the very reason addiction is not a good thing! That show has nabbed me, hook, line and sinker, I love it, I am in misery … woe is me.

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Old to New: The Weight Loss DiaBLOG – Month 4

Posted in Weight Loss DiaBLOG, women, WONDER, tagged accountability, Addiction, Change, diaBLOG, diet, losing weight, myfitnesspal, Old to New, pounds, self confidence, self perception, Struggle, weight, Weight Loss on October 26, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Welcome back to The Weight Loss DiaBLOG! It has now been four months since I started and I am feeling great! Partly because I AM feeling great, and partly because I lost another 5 pounds! That means I’ve lost 19 pounds … about the weight of all of the pics on this post today.

Well lifestyle changing, healthier-getting friends, how is it going for you? I hope that for the Canadians among us, you enjoyed your Thanksgiving feasts (because it is rare that there is only one feast over any holiday). And now, just around the corner is that candy-fest more popularly known as

Halloween.

Halloween always takes me off guard. The day arrives and I have no inclination at all to overdo it. Then the bags of candy get opened and poured into a big bowl, to have easily available to hand out to the kiddies, so I try just one … By the end of two hours I am bartering preschoolers at my front door to get the specific candies and chips that I love the most!

And by the time I lay my head on my pillow I am on a drug-like candy trip.

We could call next Wednesday, the Halloween Hurdle (hoping to avoid the need of a girdle). A day to expect struggle with temptation.

Segueing onto other things ….

Although the weight is coming off, I am still not into a habit of exercise, and I really do desire to make regular physical activity (other than sitting up and pushing up to get out of bed) part of my lifestyle. So, for the next month, my goal in this area is small, but firm, walk twenty minutes, three times a week, and sit ups/crunches five times a week. I know that once it becomes a habit, I will be hooked, and will make it happen … I just need to get the habit started!

I do not mean to sound like a salesperson (and I guess I am not since there is no cost to this) but I really do love the myfitnesspal app. and website. There is never a sense that a food is BAD, or can never be eaten. Instead I am made aware of the cost of all foods. For instance, peanuts in their shells … something I do not eat often, but would choose over chips any day, and love to nibble on them while sitting by the pool (NOT something I am doing in November). If I were to eat them pre-myfitnesspal, I would have eaten about two cups (or more) at one sitting. Now I know that just one cup of peanuts IN their shells has 320 calories! 14 carbs! and 23 grams of fat! So, do I stop eating them? No, but I choose when to eat them, and how much, and I ask myself, “do I really want them?” I feel like I am becoming a more intelligent eater, and that is a good thing!

Well folks, I hope that you are having successes as you pursue a healthier lifestyle. I hope you are feeling better, sleeping better and feeling the joy of pants buttoning up without having to do acrobatics to get dressed. And remember, one pound is more significant than you think … just look at the picture below!

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Old to New: The Weight Loss DiaBLOG – Month 3

Posted in Weight Loss DiaBLOG, women, WONDER, tagged accountability, Addiction, Change, diaBLOG, diet, idol, losing weight, myfitnesspal, Old to New, pounds, self confidence, self perception, Struggle, weight, Weight Loss on September 28, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Welcome back to The Weight Loss DiaBLOG! We have so much catching up to do!

Since we were last together, there is so much that has been going on! For some it has been the end of vacations, the return to school and/or work. If you live in an area of four distinct seasons, the weather is cooling, the leaves are changing, and the days are lessening in hours of light.

I always find that the beginning of the school year is like New Years. It is a time of starting over, creating new habits and making goals for the year to come. In that regard the turn of the calendars to September is a good opportunity to get focused on healthy eating and living.

The start of the school year was like that for me. For one thing I am too busy, too tired and too stressed to eat much!

Sadly, my body thinks it is that of a polar bear, and when I endeavor to eat less it automatically goes into hibernation mode, slows down the metabolic processes of my digestion, and shuts down the ability to shed any weight. So, I eat healthy, I eat less (significantly less) and the scales still do not move south! As a matter of fact, one particular week, I was below my caloric intake every day for an entire week, and I gained two pounds! How does that happen?

The flip side to the similarities I share to a hibernating creature, is that eventually my body has to recognize the obvious, and my body lets go of a pound or two. So, this past month my weight loss was only TWO pounds, but I promise you, it is a minuscule representative of the effort that I put in to dropping it!

I need to give you a success update that (sadly) is not reflecting on the scales of doom, and that is my writing last month about the need to ensure that food is not an idol in my life. The consciousness of this has really changed my habits. Let me give you an example; recently, at lunch, in the staff room, a box of really good chocolates sat on the table. I looked at it, and memories of chocolates past danced through my memory, like sugar plums. Then I asked myself, “do you want one because you really want one, or because they are in sight?” The answer was clear, I was not hungry, I was not even desiring chocolate at that time (a miracle in itself!). So, I passed … and didn’t regret it. Now, if the answer was yes, I would have taken one, and just one.

For me, to take the time to really consider the difference between need and desire, over eating because it is there is a monumental change. There have even been a few times when I have left food on my plate (something our beast was immensely delighted about), and for those of us who grew up under the rule to “clean everything off your plate” that is also a monumental change.

As far as my goals for this past month, I have been recording my intake daily, even when I knew I would be over my daily goals. This has been made easier because one of my co-workers is also using myfitnesspal, and so I have an accountability partner to celebrate successes and share frustrations! I have not gotten to the point of walking on a daily basis, but I am up to three times a week.

Well, off I go, I need to do something about these legs that are looking far too much like a polar bear too!

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Old to New: The Weight Loss DiaBLOG – Week 8

Eight weeks in, nine pounds lost. Some goals achieved, and some not so much.

As I look at the image to the right, I feel a bit disappointed. Although at four weeks I was seeing my body changing, I really stagnated at that point, as my weight made a climb up and then back down to where it was again.

But I am not giving up!

In the months to come I will return to the Weight Loss DiaBLOG, but not every week. I will update about every four weeks. Doing this will give me the accountability of a month at a time, and will, hopefully, provide greater changes to report.

I am also planning on sharing pictures of changes, and starting to take measurements, with the hopes that I will be encouraged by changes other than numbers on the scales of doom.

I truly love all of your input. The things that work for you can work for others, and the things that frustrate you also frustrate others. With each email, comment, or note I have gotten I have been encouraged that I am not in this alone, but I am part of a larger group of people who are trying to live differently, healthier.

This week, as I was interacting with another blogger about a topic vastly different from weight loss and exercise, I had a bit of an ‘ah-ha’ moment. We were discussing the things in our lives that we have put ahead of God, or in the place of God, and how we are learning about the rightful place of God above all else. For days now, since that conversation, I have pondered food as an idol in my life.

Food is a need for living. Food is pleasureful. Food requires time planning what to have, preparing it, serving it, eating it (suffering heartburn after eating it, followed by poor sleep). Food is very much a part of our every day. Do I spend too much time thinking about it? Do I finish one meal, and start thinking about, longing for the next? Do I live for it? Is it an idol in my heart, my life?

I may have had a eureka moment with this one. I think I need to keep questioning what height of priority I am giving to this beast, and start eating to meet my needs, and not my wants. This will be a work in progress!

For this first four weeks to come my goals are simply to get back on track with recording my foods eaten, and to get walking on a daily basis. Hold me accountable! If you think of me, send me a note and ask how I’m doing. If you see me, ask me if I walked yet today.

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I’m an Addict!

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Addiction, Health, Hubby, Life, walk on June 21, 2011| 2 Comments »

I never thought it was possible, but I have become addicted to walking my favorite trail!

Not that anyone who has walked my favorite trail would blame me, because it is a spectacular trail. But the part about … me … addicted … to walking … that is what is hard to believe.

Now, my beast … she has always been addicted to walking! When she doesn’t go for a walk, she looks depressed, and gives us guilt-laden looks that no human can duplicate! And when she does go for a walk, she is the picture of contentment!

Life has become simply too busy this week to walk my trail … the trail I have been walking at least three times a week … for months! It has now been six days since I last walked it, and there is no available time in the foreseeable three days! And I think I am gonna lose it!

Tonight hubby and I were supposed to be removing sod on a piece of land that we planned to build our brick patio (hubby got an amazing deal on landscape bricks, from a neighbor … weeks … months … hum, years ago. So, we decided that indeed we could do this task … ourselves. And the time was now. But, I digress). But, the sod remover was very heavy, and we live on top of a hill, so getting it to the upper backyard … not so easy peasie. Then the sod remover was not too easy to figure out how to get it to actually cut the sod.

All that to say, words were said, (under our breath), looks were exchanged, frustrations were elevated, declarations of wanting to sell this massive property (in exchange for a brand new, comes with a property management company, condo) by me were made, tears burned in my eyes … and a quiet evening was had by all! And really, all because I haven’t (WE haven’t) been going for regular walks.

All I really had wanted to do was walk my favorite trail … (and it probably would have been better for all around me!).

This walk on the trail has become my leavening agent … like yeast or baking powder. If I mix it into my week in a well-proportioned way, the rest of my week rises and falls in balance. If, on the other hand, I do not take the time to add the leavening power of my walks to my week, the week ends up with the qualities of a hockey puck … hard, flat, and dangerous.

Truly, it could be said that I have turned a corner in my philosophy of life and living. For me, on this voyage of attaining better health, better living is finally becoming part of my daily fiber. Now, I miss my walks, like I once would have missed chocolate (oh, chocolate, I remember you. Dark, creamy, mouth-watering, satisfying, chocolate … chocolate bars, chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, and oh, my personal favorite, homemade chocolate sauce … I a m s o w e a k …, and, I digress … again).

Walking now feels, not just good, but right. And that is a core change in how I think. I now recognize that going for those walks is not so much about how burning all those calories enables me to then eat more (a girl has to have her ‘rewards’ 🙂 ), but that going for those walks makes me feel better, think better, choose better, LIVE better (and squeeze into some of those clothes that have been gather dust in my closet for years).

So, today, I think something else is just gonna have to go. Now, what could go? Dusting, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms … hum, if I don’t do those three things, I would have enough time to walk! AND, I have three kids … so if they each ‘get’ to do one of those jobs, I can walk, AND come home to a clean house! And they get a more mentally stable mother (they have no idea just how this could benefit them).

Seriously, just thinking about walking makes my thinking so much more clear!

Now, where are those walking shoes? And my beast? And yes, even my hubby (who I am talking to, and is talking to me again … thanks to a couple of great guys who came over to the rescue of our sod, our marriage, and our sanity).

Time for a walk … it does a body, mind and soul good!

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