“Being saddled with someone can leave you chafed.”
Carole Wheaton
Although a certain hubby would prefer his bride leave him out of her blog posts, I happen to know that she is also a woman who prides herself on utilizing forgiveness over permission. So, that said, I (not so humbly) apologize, hubby.
This is the twenty-third Valentines Day that hubby and I will celebrate together. We have had more Valentine’s Days together than apart. There is rarely the exchange of chocolate, only periodic giving of flowers, a rare dinner out on the 14th of February, not even many purchases of lingerie. There is always an “I love you” exchanged, always kissing (oups! I forgot to warm the kids not to read this one), and … well … you know, a sharing of affection 😉 And, all of this is very comfortable for us both, as I hate the exaggerated prices for the traditional gifts of this season, and hubby hates the pressure that the day applies to his creatively challenged mind.
After ALL these years, I would have to say that Valentine’s Day IS comfortable for us both. Our expectations of the day are the same as any day … we awake (and say good morning to each other), have coffee together (and ask about each others day), we work (and either text or email at least once to each other), our family has dinner together (and we each take joy in the family that we can share), we end the day (with a kiss … well, with AT LEAST a kiss 😉 ).
If this were our last Valentine’s Day together, it is the ‘together’ that we would each miss most the following Valentine’s Day, and every day that follows our last day together. It is not flowers, or diamonds, or tickets to that ‘thing’ he (or she) wants to go to, or chocolate even, it is the TOGETHER that we would most yearn for.
Together is priceless, it cannot be duplicated, and it can only be achieved by the two who are one.
I was (tearfully) reminded of this reality recently as I read a friends cheerful post to wish her hubby : “happy birthday to the love of my life…the BIG 50!!!! What a day.” Her husband is suffering with cancer, and, without a divine miracle (and I do believe in divine miracles, as does she and her family) this will be the last birthday that they will share together … the last Valentine’s Day that they will share. I can confidently say that she will not be expecting flowers or chocolate. I do expect that she and he will look into each others eyes and share, without words even, the look of committed love that spans a life of love, and struggle, and children, and marriages, and awakening each day … together.
Being saddled with someone CAN leave you chafed, but it is the long term scarring of being so close together that creates love scars that we cherish the most.
itsawonderfilledlife 