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Posts Tagged ‘Valentine’s Day’

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It is the day after the day that celebrates love, and when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s Day we are either awakening on one side of the bed, or the other.

The sun has risen again, and a new day has begun, no matter what yesterday looked like, it is history. Intriguingly enough, the most viewed post of this week was one word, and not a word that most would list as describing the day of love. The post titled, alone was the number one, but don’t think it is a downer, or pathetic, or fatalistic. Quite the contrary!

Also this week :

Quiet Rest
(how a sick day can become a sabbath in disguise)

More Than Just Cake
(we need more than cake … we need icing too)

Midlife
(midlife is not just about looking back, but also looking forward)

Valentines Day
(love, it means more than we think)

Blessings to you this day,
Carole

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

This is a day that either we love, and feel loved … or not.

I discovered the verses (above) last week.

Written by Mary DeMuth at www.marydemuth.com, she has this to say about this day of love :

“My hunch is that your greatest source of stress comes in the form of relationships, whether friendships or family or church. I can handle all sorts of stress, but if my relationships are wonky, my heart follows.”

I am not a wise woman when it comes to love. I would hate to think that anyone would read what I have to say on this topic as expert advise.

I do know that Valentine’s Day does not have to be only about that eros love that the Greeks used to describe a sexual love, one born out of physical attraction.

It is a day about love, in all of it’s forms … including philo (a caring love born of friendship), agape (an unconditional love).

It is a day when we are reminded to love others …

It is a day to be reminded to love our neighbors, our parents, our kids, our grand kids, our co-workers, our friends and on and on … as ourselves (Luke 10:27).

So lets get out there, today, and show love to the unexpecting people in our lives, from the janitor at work/school, to the elderly lady we say hi to as we keep walking by, to the server at our favorite coffee shop, to the friend who just needs a belly laugh … we might lay our heads on our pillows feeling more varieties of love than even the Greeks can name.

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As I read the title, Sometimes I’m a Little too Human, I was hooked to keep reading. That is often the case when I read a blog post by Lysa TerKeurst.

This time she was talking about Valentine’s Day, and before you click off this page, let me tell you that this is not the typical Valentine’s Day post. That said, be assured that it is definitely about a love story.

I know it is early to start thinking about Valentine’s Day, but, rest assured, it is never too early to be wooed by true love.

“Which category are you in?

* You hope you’ll have something to look forward to on Valentine’s Day. Hint. Hint.

* Valentine’s Day feels more like Single Awareness Day.

* You’re totally excited and have bought all your friends stuff from the $1 aisle at Target.

* You couldn’t care less because you don’t like the color red or chocolate or roses. So there.

I’ll be honest, I’m always a little on the fence with this day. Yes, I wrote the post Valentine’s Tips To The Misters, to encourage the Misters on the fine art of doing Valentine’s Day right.

However.

It still all feels a little forced. A little too commercial.

Because at the end of the day, a woman wants to feel special. And call me crazy, but mass produced cupids just don’t cut it.

I want to be adored. Thought of. Not as an obligation, because the calendar holiday demands it. But rather, just because…

He loves me.

And it’s at this point where my Christian mind screams… Jesus does this. Let Jesus fill you. Only Jesus can adore you this way. Give your husband a break.

That’s what I call a Jesus juke.

A quick move that makes you feel slapped on the hand for being so human.

Yes, of course Jesus loves me this way. But what if I say that with my mouth, while still feeling a deep ache in my heart. A longing. To be pursued.

That’s where my friend Jud Wilhite’s new project steps in and helps me connect with Jesus in the exact way that my longing heart desires.

Here’s Jud….

Valentine’s Day can be frustrating for many of us. Perhaps you’re single and you don’t want to be, or you’re in an unhappy or disappointing relationship. Maybe you’re grieving a relationship you’ve lost.

This year, remember that God loves you the way a kind and patient husband loves his bride. He wants to pursue you, cherish you, and meet your deepest needs — and He’s the only one who can.

When God wanted to illustrate the passionate intensity of His relationship with us, He chose marriage as the metaphor.

Incredibly, it was the marriage of a prophet named Hosea and a prostitute named Gomer. God told Hosea to marry Gomer and to take her back even after she’s unfaithful. God uses their marriage to illustrate His love and care for His people, who have turned away from Him again and again.

My friend, Jud Wilhite, is offering a free 14-day Pursued challenge that’s perfect as Valentine’s Day approaches. He offers thoughts on the book of Hosea and what this story can teach us about God’s love. Visit www.pursuedbook.com/challenge and sign up for the challenge. You can also download a sample chapter of his new book Pursued

And, to reinforce the words of Lysa Terkurst, a little Love Song …

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My beast is a delightful creature (just don’t ask my hubby about her), and she delights and entertains the kids and I regularly.

imagesSomething that has been happening more frequently as she gets older (hum, reminds me of someone else in the house who is getting older and having the same issue) is gas … flatulence … farting.

This has been shocking to our delicate, female, beasty … as well as to us.

For some members of the family this is great, because now that she is participating in this bodily function more frequently, it is more feasible to blame her when she didn’t create the aroma wafting around the room … if you know what I mean (“who did that”? would be responded to with “the dog”).

Not that long ago the beast was snoring near me, while I sat weaving a tale for my blog (snoring is also something new and more frequent as she is getting older). All of a sudden a familiar noise broke the silence … and it did not come from me! Immediately the beast awoke, head up, looking at me with that trying to blame someone else for your own sins, kinda look. When I returned her stare with ‘the look’ she then sniffed her lower extremities, causing a shocked look to appear on her furry face! She immediately got up and ran up the stairs as though fleeing from a killer. Seconds later, I had personal understanding of what she was running from!

We have not changed her food or her routine, and she just got a clean bill of health from the veterinarian. The only other excuse left is that she is aging, her digestive process is slowing down.

And that is aging, isn’t it? It is not just the slowing down of the digestive process either. Our reflexes slow, our eyesight changes, the elastic nature of our skin does not spring back into place, the healing process slows, memory slows (or, as I like to think of it, our memory takes mini holidays). The only thing that does not slow down is the rate of hair growth on my legs!

Our hearts slow down too.

In our 20’s, our heart can beat up to 180 and 200 beats per minute. But at 80, it is more like 145 beats per minute. Although our heart is the engine of our bodies, most of the reasons it slows as we age are related to the heart responding to the the slowdown, misuse, poor health of other body systems and parts. If our diet is too high in fat, we might get buildup in our arteries, forcing our heart to work harder to push the blood through the more narrow passages.

As yesterday was Valentine’s Day, there are many happy hearts. But some hearts are a little heavier than happier, maybe some awaken today to feeling like the heartbeat of love has slowed to a snails pace.

Keep beating! The process of maturing in marriage can be as stinky as a dog’s farts! But, the heart is the engine of marriage, and if it feels as though you are just responding to the slowdown in your relationship, remember it is still your responsibility, your job, to keep beating.

Bad noises and bad smells, that is the reality of real marriage … can we choose to keep beating even when the air is rancid? Or, like my beast, will the smell drive you away?

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Happy Valentines Day!images-2

The day of love, love, love …

Let’s face it, for many it not a day of love, but of regrets, loneliness, and broken marriages.

I’m gonna be really honest in saying that I have had those Valentine’s Days too (who hasn’t?), and hubby has probably had even more than me!

We have treated each other poorly. We have disrespected, mistrusted, lied, not forgiven, yelled at, ignored, punished and mistreated each other … over and over, and over again. So, why do we stay together? Good question!

I cannot speak for hubby (and really, he is safer if he just lets me speak for him), but I think that there are three reasons.

The first is from my romantic, dreamy side …

We have talked, ever since we were dating and just started talking about marriage, about our vision of both being old and gray (well, hubby, not me) and sitting in rocking chairs on a porch, hand in hand, watching the sunset together. I am not sure exactly why but that vision has stuck for me. When things are good in our relationship, or when things really suck royally, that vision comes to my mind … and reminds me of the end goal.

The second is from my mother heart …

I remember hearing an interview with Kathie Gifford years ago, when there was great publicity over a sexual indiscretion committed by her husband, and she quoted what her counselor had said to her, after a ‘poor me’ monologue, “he looked at me, and said, Kathie — and now this is two years after — “If you can’t forgive your husband, forgive your children’s father.”” Although I do not believe that that rational applies to all circumstances, it is a line that has haunted me, when things are going good in our relationship, or when things really suck royally, and a vision of our three kids comes to my mind … and reminds me of the goal of modeling commitment for our kids that will encourage them if they too marry.

The third is from the part of me that recognizes I am a child of God …

Marriage is hard work. I cannot imagine the marriage of two people without desiring at least once to call it quits. That said, twenty-three years in the wedded trenches have convinced me that seeing how God can restore us after a season of wanting to throw in the towel, makes our marriage even better. I would not ever choose to go through those rough times, but going through them, and coming out the other side is a most miraculous picture of what God can do with two extremely flawed, extremely selfish individuals. I am convinced that 1 Peter 5:10 is all about marriage:

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ,
after you have suffered a little while,
will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

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“Being saddled with someone can leave you chafed.”
Carole Wheaton

Although a certain hubby would prefer his bride leave him out of her blog posts, I happen to know that she is also a woman who prides herself on utilizing forgiveness over permission. So, that said, I (not so humbly) apologize, hubby.

This is the twenty-third Valentines Day that hubby and I will celebrate together. We have had more Valentine’s Days together than apart. There is rarely the exchange of chocolate, only periodic giving of flowers, a rare dinner out on the 14th of February, not even many purchases of lingerie. There is always an “I love you” exchanged, always kissing (oups! I forgot to warm the kids not to read this one), and … well … you know, a sharing of affection 😉 And, all of this is very comfortable for us both, as I hate the exaggerated prices for the traditional gifts of this season, and hubby hates the pressure that the day applies to his creatively challenged mind.

After ALL these years, I would have to say that Valentine’s Day IS comfortable for us both. Our expectations of the day are the same as any day … we awake (and say good morning to each other), have coffee together (and ask about each others day), we work (and either text or email at least once to each other), our family has dinner together (and we each take joy in the family that we can share), we end the day (with a kiss … well, with AT LEAST a kiss 😉 ).

If this were our last Valentine’s Day together, it is the ‘together’ that we would each miss most the following Valentine’s Day, and every day that follows our last day together. It is not flowers, or diamonds, or tickets to that ‘thing’ he (or she) wants to go to, or chocolate even, it is the TOGETHER that we would most yearn for.

Together is priceless, it cannot be duplicated, and it can only be achieved by the two who are one.

I was (tearfully) reminded of this reality recently as I read a friends cheerful post to wish her hubby : “happy birthday to the love of my life…the BIG 50!!!! What a day.” Her husband is suffering with cancer, and, without a divine miracle (and I do believe in divine miracles, as does she and her family) this will be the last birthday that they will share together … the last Valentine’s Day that they will share. I can confidently say that she will not be expecting flowers or chocolate. I do expect that she and he will look into each others eyes and share, without words even, the look of committed love that spans a life of love, and struggle, and children, and marriages, and awakening each day … together.

Being saddled with someone CAN leave you chafed, but it is the long term scarring of being so close together that creates love scars that we cherish the most.

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