Posts Tagged ‘midlife’

It was difficult to not stare.

He and she,

sitting across from each other at the restaurant table.

She looking straight ahead, but eyes focused to his left and beyond him.

He looking straight ahead, but eyes focused to her left and beyond her.

It was as though they were complete strangers.

alone together

She and he

both looked to be in their sixties.

He looked rugged, like a cowboy, the Marlboro Man personified.

She was impeccably dressed, her hair and make-up perfectly arranged, as though she never had a bad hair day.

Their matching wedding rings told me that they were together,

though alone in that togetherness.

alone together

I have been noticing,

no studying,

couples who would appear to be in the next phase of life from where I am,

from where hubby and I are currently.

When I see a couple who look to be of the age of empty-nesters,

I have to work hard to not stare.

You see I am studying with purpose,

because in the blink of an eye I, we will be there,

and I need to have an idea of what is to come,

of what I need to prepare for,

of where to set our plum line for the future to come.

And, what I saw in that restaurant,

in the staring off glances of the Marlboro man and his impeccably dressed Mrs,

was a couple who was

alone together.

Sure they shared a table, and he paid the bill, but that is where their ‘together’ ended.

I’ve been thinking about them ever since, wondering what they looked like sitting at a restaurant table when

they had teenagers with them,

or chatty kids,

or tough to sit still preschoolers.

Did they have something to talk about when they were

celebrating a birthday,

an anniversary,

or after just finding out that they would be parents in a few months?

Did they look off into the distance when they were

first married,

or dating?

When did together start to be alone? When did alone accompany them together?

More importantly,

how do those of us, not yet there, prevent being

alone together

in our futures?


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It is the day after the day that celebrates love, and when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s Day we are either awakening on one side of the bed, or the other.

The sun has risen again, and a new day has begun, no matter what yesterday looked like, it is history. Intriguingly enough, the most viewed post of this week was one word, and not a word that most would list as describing the day of love. The post titled, alone was the number one, but don’t think it is a downer, or pathetic, or fatalistic. Quite the contrary!

Also this week :

Quiet Rest
(how a sick day can become a sabbath in disguise)

More Than Just Cake
(we need more than cake … we need icing too)

(midlife is not just about looking back, but also looking forward)

Valentines Day
(love, it means more than we think)

Blessings to you this day,

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Although I am not sure that I am ready to admit that I have reached the mid life season of my life, the reality is that if the stats are right, and if the life expectancy of a woman in Canada is about eighty-four, I have arrived!

More than the number that represents my years on planet Earth, even more than how my body feels after waking in the morning, I know that I have reached this season because I cannot make a decision for the life of myself.

I have gotten to the point that I hate it when people ask me to make a decision from when I plan to get groceries, to what I want to order in a restaurant, to what I want to do on Spring Break, to my intention for work next year.

It is not that I am incapable of making a decision, but that I see so many more options than ever before, and I feel a greater sense of wanting to make really good decisions, with even less regrets than ever before in my life.

I think it is because I sense that my ability to do it all over is lessening.

It is sort of like when you reach the month of August in the summertime. It sort of feels like summer is more than half gone, and a bit of regret starts to take root … almost hindering you from enjoying that entire last month of summer, fully.

But, even for those of us looking back to probably less than half of the time we are given, there is still much to enjoy, to do, to dream about, to pursue, to live.

Matthew 6:27 reminds us, “can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

So, let us live each day with the abandon of a child on the first day of summer break … with the wisdom and hindsight to know that the summer is more than two months, but is made up of about sixty individual days.

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