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Posts Tagged ‘Darkness’

b3a692b86b517f2c33603560c9842275The seasons are about to change with the calendar this coming weekend.

The carefree days of the hot summer sun have already been traded in for blustery winds, falling leaves and a chill or dampness in the air. The daylight is diminishing, drawing us innately to huddle in our homes like a caterpillar to it’s cocoon.

Soon we will be scanning for recipes to fill eager tummies when we bow and give thanks.

Followed by the night of dressing up as who we are not.

Followed by remembering those who gave fragments of their days, turning into all of their lives, for freedom.

And then the Christmas season of anticipating, hoping, waiting.

We are always going to be waiting …

As this season of darkness draws upon us, and our days, it is sometimes difficult to remember the light. When life’s circumstances may be equally dark and dismal, it is then that waiting for the return of the light can get nearly unbearable.

But …

The New Year will come.

The day of lovers will arrive.

The break in the spring will happen.

Dead roots in the ground, hard and lifeless in their dirty humus.

Humus … “A brown or black organic substance consisting of partially or wholly decayed vegetable or animal matter that provides nutrients for plants and increases the ability of soil to retain water” (freedictionary.com).

Life … from death.

And then the Easter season of death and rising will transform into one of new promise.

The One we have been waiting for.

But this season …

… these are the days of being still and knowing, not that we are waiting for Him, but that He IS God …

… even while we wait.

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Fog

The recent time change has brought fog into most of my mornings. Oh, it has been there for weeks before, but I was always oblivious to it, as it was hidden in the early morning darkness.

Now, as the clock moves from 6:30-7:00, as light is pushing away the darkness of night, fog draws a creative, and eerie, view from my window. The trees seem more defined20121115-162845.jpg, and yet less so, depending on how far into the fog they stand. The fog obstructs my view, and yet brings to attention that which is nearest to me. It makes me want to fill my coffee mug yet again, and turn my seat to the window and just stare … stare into the fading, stare into the emerging forms in front of me. It is wet to walk in, dampening everything it touches, without … the feeling of being touched. Yet it is warm to the eyes, it completes, it blankets all around it with it’s arms of total inclusion.

Fog both scares me and puts me at ease at the same time. It is mysterious and confusing and beautiful and inviting all at the same time. It is my morning conundrum.

As I emerge from my home, as the clock is nearer to eight than to seven, fog’s background is no longer darkness, but light. The sun seems to be pushing so hard to push through, to burn through the tiny droplets of precipitation. And as I life my eyes, drawn upward by the magnetic force of the light, I see that the light of the morning sun is winning in places, pushing the fog away, like pushing away a warm morning blanket, to show me the blue waiting to flood the skies, and the brilliance of it’s shine.

Later yet, as I drive in the glorious sun, the blue of the sky creating smiles just from it’s presence, I am moving towards a hill where I will enter a lower elevation, and, once again, the fog is present. It lies in the valley like a cottony blanket, or bridge, but this bridge will allow no vehicle to cross … the only way is through the fog. And my heart beats with excitement and anticipation, as I lower into it’s mysterious abyss.

“You do not know what tomorrow will bring.
What is your life?
For you are a mist
that appears for a little time
and then vanishes.”
James 4:14

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As I watch the dark push away the light,

The sun is being swallowed by the horizon

Gone forever

My soul longs for the it’s final small slivers still in the sky,

The remnants of what is passing,

Of what will also soon be gone forever,

Never to be exactly the same as in this present moment.

My head lays down at night with the hope of light arising again in morning,

When darkness falls upon this world it is a reflection of my heart,

My heart whose life evidence was in it’s soundless beat in my ears,

But whose rhythm I felt in the whole of my body,

Now, it too is gone.

The ache settles in my soul, filling every part, forcing the last rays of light away,

Until there is nothing but darkness,

There is no light in view,

There is only nothingness,

In the dark there is no light to keep me warm,

To make me feel alive.

In the dark there is no growth

There is an absence of all things that light allow to grow,

And more dire than a severed vein,

There is only the stagnancy from the absence of anything,

Nothingness is all that is left,

The light is gone,

The dark has come,

The ache is all that remains,

To torture my soul,

Forced into believing

I am still alive.

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Since the start of the new year, I have been overcome with light.

The topic of light has been everywhere. It has been in the music I listen to, the ‘pins’ I see (on Pinterest) , the conversations I have had, the classes I assist in, the sermons I have heard. Light has been shining brightly in my eyes!

Now, as spring is progressing, I get to awaken to lightened skies, as the light of the sun push the darkness away, even on the gray and dreary days.

That is what light does … it pushes the darkness away.

As someone who finds the monsoon-like dark winters, where I live, to be rather depressing, I really like how light can push away the darkness. I have even known a certain hubby to try to woo me with moving to places like San Diego, where they get about two hundred and sixty-six days of sun a year (compared with Vancouver, BC’s miserable daily averages of 1.8 and 2.0 hours a day of sunlight in December and January).

When I awaken to even a speck of sun through the clouds, my day looks brighter. When I awaken to dark, gray and rain, I can feel my spirit drop. Light can set the stage for things to come.

I am learning to take joy in the little glimmers of light that I get in the dark months of the wet West Coast. I am gradually understanding that to get outside when the sun does shine, and to speak of the little bits of sun when it does show it’s face, is to store up the positive effects of light, for times when it is hidden by gray clouds.

Really, though, the sun is always there, even though it might be above the clouds. The many shades of gray are only visible because of the presence of light. Without light, there would be no gray, there would be no shadows. Light, cast into the darkness, causes shadows where it cannot reach directly. But, when light is cast into the darkness, our eyes need only to be focused on the light. The light draws our eyes from the darkness, and they follow it’s path.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12). He also said that we (who follow him) are like a city built on a hill, visible to all, and if we live in His light, others can see it, and also choose to live in His light. (Matthew 5:14-16 … Carole Wheaton translation 😉 ).

The light is there … even if all we can see are the shadows.

“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.” ~ C. S. Lewis

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