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Posts Tagged ‘differences’

It is said, by them, that opposites attract.00769-funny-cartoons-porcupine

They say that the characteristics that drive us buggy each and every day (not in my relationship, of course) about each other are the same characteristics that drew us to our nemesis love in the first place.

For instance, the hubby who is frustrated with his wife’s inability to just get at a task and get it done, also loved how she would drop whatever she was doing to spend time with him when they first met. The woman who would like to wring her hubby’s neck for talking to every person in the grocery store, once respected how friendly he was to people.

So, we are advised by them to focus on the good side of those characteristics, rather than on the side that causes the emotional equivalent of an anaphylactic shock (not always an easy task without epinephrine!).

Truly living together can leave a person prickly!

I drive my hubby nuts because I put off each and every telephone-related task that I need to make. He drives me nuts because a telephone is a permanent part of his appearance.

I have probably caused hubby to lose years off his life (and definitely sleep) by bringing the dreaded beasty into our home and life. He has probably caused me to lose years of my life driving with him.

And speaking of driving, those solar signs that tell you what speed you are going make me slow down to dangerously low speeds because I am always so panicked by their presence. Hubby, on the other hand sees them and speeds up to see just how high he can get the number to go! But, I digress …

The yin and yang of the pairing within a marriage relationship can seem ridiculously unnatural. Sort of like the fantastic combination of balsamic vinegar and olive oil for a salad … they do not even stay mixed together! Or dollops of cold sour cream onto hot and spicy tacos. Or the brightness of the stars on the darkest night. Or putting animal dung on the same soil where we plant crops (and if you think I am going to identify which in the marital relationship is the plant and which is the dung …).

Or the combination of a man and woman, biologically, emotionally, socially opposites. Yet if God himself is the one responsible for the matching of male and female, I guess He must know what He was doing in making us not just opposite, but attractive to each other as well.

“The Lord God said,
“It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18

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I remember so clearly the first Barbie that our eldest daughter had, and the first lesson she taught us in the process of purchasing it.

The television was constantly advertising ‘Butterfly Princess Barbie’ at every opportunity, and with each commercial break our daughter would say, “Mom, can I get that Barbie?”

Finally, it was her birthday, and we thought we would let her go with us to the store to pick it out. Unfortunately, we had gone shopping in the U.S., and, unfortunately, there was not one Butterfly Princess Barbie, like the one we had all seen on television … or so we thought.

As hubby and I were preparing for deep and mortal depression from our daughter, when she realized that the desired doll was not there, we heard her happy shout, “there she is!” Our eyes moved to the doll that she was struggling mightily to reach on a higher shelf, and then to each other. The doll most certainly was Butterfly Princess Barbie, but she did not have the blue eyes, the golden blond hair, or the alabaster skin. This doll was most clearly the African American doll.

When we lifted it down to her opened arms, and hugged it tightly, we asked if she was sure this was the one she wanted. And she answered, “yes” with her arms still tightly embracing it. We then said, “you do realize that she is not exactly like the one on TV?”

With this questions, she opened her eyes, and looked carefully at the doll in the box. She held it out, she frowned, she stared at it intently, and then she said, “you are right, she has brown eyes instead of blue,” and continued hugging it.

And her father and I looked at each other, and marveled at how quickly and completely we had seen the differences, and how much effort it took for her to see even one.

That is the story that most of us have been taught by our children, or by others children. For children do not see differences, but similarities. We grow up to see, to point out, and to fear differences.

I like that lesson, that was taught to me so innocently by a three-year old. It kind of reminds me of one of the most influential songs of my childhood …

“Jesus Loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow black and white
They’re all precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world”

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