My mind is pondering my son, my only son, tonight.
Finally I am preparing to write my letter to him (referred to way back in my post, Father-Son Bonding Weekend) to be placed in the box with all of those letters from the special men in his life … and me 😉 .
As I was pondering my son, and the words that I want him to keep with him for all of his days, even after I am long gone, I am reminded of the beginnings of elementary school each year.
Early in September, the letter would come home. The letter with instructions for packing an emergency package to be left at school … in case of emergency. A large Ziploc bag would come home with the letter giving directions for filling the bag. A larger garbage bag, snack bars, a toy or stuffy, and a letter to comfort our child … in case of emergency.
It was always a tumultuous task to write that letter. I remember sitting at a table, paper before me, pen in hand …
I would start with, “Your dad and I love you …”
Then they would start, those imaginings of situations that might result in this letter being read by my son. And each time they would eventually come to the point of realizing that this scrawling on paper might be the last communication that my son might have from me. And the tears would fall, and words would see inadequate for all that I would want to leave for him to take into his life … in case of emergency.
And washing his hands, and brushing his teeth, and scrubbing behind his ears would seem unimportant for in case of emergency.
What would I want my last words to my son (or my daughters) be?
Then I would know, I would know with the greatest of certainty what he needed in case of emergency …
“Love Jesus with all your heart”
So when I encountered the following song by Andrew Peterson, I knew it spoke my heart, just like those letters written, just like the letter my son will receive this week,
in case of emergency …
When I look at you, boy
I can see the road that lies ahead
I can see the love and the sorrow
Bright fields of joy
Dark nights awake in a stormy bed
I want to go with you, but I can’t follow
So keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way
Your first kiss, your first crush
The first time you know you’re not enough
The first time there’s no one there to hold you
The first time you pack it all up
And drive alone across America
Please remember the words that I told you
Keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home
And I know you’ll be scared when you take up that cross
And I know it’ll hurt, ’cause I know what it costs
And I love you so much and it’s so hard to watch
But you’re gonna grow up and you’re gonna get lost
Just go back, go back
Go back, go back to the ancient paths
Lash your heart to the ancient mast
And hold on, boy, whatever you do
To the hope that’s taken hold of you
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home
I’ve only been thinking about this since we moved here to the Pacific Coast … over sixteen years ago! It is just that, well, it is like buying life insurance … it is a good, wise and responsible thing to do, but acknowledging that it is something that I might just need is so very depressing.
itsawonderfilledlife 