Future

Posts Tagged ‘Future’

The Past

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged 1 Chronicles 4:9-10, Bible, Blessing, Future, God of Israel, Hebrew, Jabez, Learning, Pain, pasts, Prayer of Jabez, Rafiki, run, sorrowful, The Lion King, The Past on October 2, 2012| 1 Comment »

A wise ~~person~~ … ~~theologian~~ … one once said,

I think that our inner compulsion is to run from it. That gives us complete separation, and immediate relief. But does running from it have positive, long-lasting results? I do not know for sure that answer, but I tend to think it might chase us, and when we least expect it, re-surface again.

Then there is learning from it. Oh, how slow that process seems, and painful for to learn is to look at the pain and face it. But could more, long lasting good come from that process? I do not know for sure that answer, but I tend to think it is the better way.

There is a man in the Bible, of whom little is known, but one thing we do know is that he did not run from his past.

This man is Jabez. His one entry in the Bible is in the Old Testament book of 1 Chronicles. He shares his name also with a town near Bethlehem, but I am not sure if the town was named after him.

The accounting of Jabez, and his life is:

“Jabez was more honorable than his brothers.
His mother had named him Jabez,saying,
“I gave birth to him in pain.”
Jabez cried out to the God of Israel,
“Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!
Let your hand be with me,
and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.”
And God granted his request.”
1 Chronicles 4:9-10

Jabez was named by his mother, and I would guess that would not have been the norm, in such a patriarchal society. Now either his birth was horrific, or the timing of his birth was, or something else dreadful must have accompanied his entry into the world for his mother to have named him as she did.

The name Jabez is Hebrew, and it means sorrowful or pain. In those days, and within that Hebrew culture, a name was almost a prophetic statement, or a foundation for who this baby was to become. Andpas his mother saw his future as sorrowful or painful.

Whatever the reason his mother named him as she did, Jabez past followed him everywhere. Imagine the teasing of his childhood peers down by the well, “hey Sorrowful, having a good day? Oh, that’s right you NEVER have a good day, you are Sorrowful!”

He had a choice, run from it, or learn from it.

Well, it would appear that he did not run from it, heck, he didn’t even change his name, nor did God as He had of others in the Bible (Abraham, Sarah, Paul, etc.).

Instead, he somehow knew that the only hope he had of a future that was not sorrowful, was to pray. And pray he did:

“Jabez cried out to the God of Israel,
“Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!
Let your hand be with me,
and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.”

His prayer was for a future complete with a relationship with the God of Israel, complete with blessing (perhaps the blessing he did not get from his parents), complete with God’s protection, complete with freedom from … pain. The prayer of Jabez is the desperate cry of a man born with a curse, with a past, and he knew it well. But, he also knew that he did not have to stay in his sorrowful state, and he knew the only one who would hear his cry … the God of Israel.

“And God granted his request.”

And, He will hear our cries to be freed from our hurtful pasts,
we just need to learn to cry out to the One who will hear us,
to change the direction of our lives.

Read Full Post »

Who’s on First?

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged Abbott and Costello, comedy, eternity, Exodus 20:3, expectations, Future, GOD, Hope, Hubby, Jeremiah 29:11, prosper, security, who's on first on July 24, 2012| 2 Comments »

Abbott and Costello made that one question an entire comedy sketch, that has lasted, and been retold, for about sixty-seven years. It is one which can make just about anyone laugh. It is a comedy sketch told to give people a giggle, about how easy it is to misunderstand what others are trying to communicate.

The main question that is being asked, throughout the sketch, is “who’s on first?”

That question is a good one to also ask ourselves in relations to life, and priorities.

Who’s on first in our life?

As a Christian, I would say that God is on first, but, in reality, I do not always live as though that is my reality.

There are those who say, look to where you spend your money, and you will see what you put first in your life. Or where you spend your time, is the indicator of greatest priority. Or what you think most often about.

Exodus 20:3 says that God comes first. In different translations and versions, it is communicated with different words, but the meaning is the same … God’s on first.

I have said before that one of my biggest struggles, in marriage, has been in confusing the expectations I have of my God and my hubby. Now, don’t get me wrong, there has never been a time when I have bowed down, sacrificed burnt offerings and worshiped hubby (although I did put his socks on for him, once, when he was sick). Nonetheless, I have still struggled with not expecting God-like results from his very human person.

There are things that I think we often look for in others that, when they don’t (can’t) follow through and provide for us, we feel greatly let down.

I can only speak for myself, but I have often looked to my hubby as the provider of my security, of my future. That is a terribly big expectation to heap upon a mere mortal. And, of course, the disappointment that happens when hubby is not able to live up to that expectation I have had on him, is immense. He is no more able to control my future than I am.

It is only God who should hold on to that expectation.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “for I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God, and only God, can provide the security of the future. And, it is only when we make the decision to put Him first, that the security of our future, both now and for all eternity, is truly secure.

Read Full Post »

A Rose By Any Other Name – Part 3

Posted in A Rose by any other Name, WONDER, tagged A Rose by any other Name, Bench, Death, Future, Hope, Life, Past, Present, Rose on June 21, 2012| Leave a Comment »

This is a series about a woman, roses on a park bench, and an amazing set of circumstances that bring her into a new future … one she never could have dreamed, would take her from sorrow to hope.
Each week there will be a new installment.

As I looked back to see what is was that caught my eye, I was intrigued to see it was a bouquet of flowers, laying on an empty park bench.

The bench was seated in front of a small apartment building, but near to the sidewalk. So that if one was out for a walk it could provide a place of rest. Although there was a bus stop just a few feet away, the bench did not have the appearance of a bus stop bench, but one a person might have in their garden.

The bouquet of flowers looked fresh, very fresh. As though they had been just bought that morning, but forgotten on the bench by someone.

I wonder if they were forgotten by someone. Maybe that person laid them on the bench for just a moment while making a call, or helping a young child pick up the toy they dropped. Then, when their bus arrived they forgot to pick them up again.

Or, maybe a woman had been given the flowers while on a date, last date, with a man whose charm was only on the surface. And maybe he gave her the flowers at the beginning of the date, only to dump her as their time together moved on. And maybe, the beautiful on the surface, but bitter to her heart’s eyes bouquet got thrown to the bench, like her heart to sorrow.

Or, maybe there was a woman waiting for her love to arrive off of the bus, and when he arrived he was overcome by her appearance, and set the bouquet down on the bench. Then he rose to go to her and greet her with a passionate kiss. The flowers forgotten as his eyes and thoughts were only of her.

What was that?

Oh my, horns are honking! I just lost my head in my imaginative world. I am ridiculous!

I looked back at the man in the vehicle behind me. He was angry, volatile really, with his mouth moving, and hands flailing. It was as if my crime of daydreaming which caused him to have to wait a few seconds longer at an intersection, was the worst violation possible.

I moved my vehicle into drive, and looked straight ahead to avoid the glares and raised finger of the man in the truck behind me. He could seriously use a romantic story right now.

As we were directed through the intersection I glanced around, wondering about the stories of the lives of the people who had been involved in the accident. I wondered if they were hurt badly. I wondered what this accident might have kept them from. I wondered if the effects of this seemingly minor accident, might affect the course of their lives.

Then I shook my head.

What was I thinking? My daydreaming had just about caused the heart failure of the man driving behind me. I could not allow my pondering of what looked like a minor fender bender to possibly cause some other horrible fate for another.

The possible stories were endless, though.

One chance meeting, one glance in a certain direction, could result in a tragedy that could change the lives of people forever.

Read Full Post »

A Rose By Any Other Name – Part 2

Posted in A Rose by any other Name, WONDER, tagged A Rose by any other Name, Bench, Death, Future, Hope, Life, Past, Present, Rose on June 14, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Finally, I had gotten all of the kids dropped off to school, and I was as free as a bird to spend the entire day as I desired.

I had it all planned. I would go to the coffee shop, order my most favorite, ‘happy’ drink (an Earl Grey Tea Latte). Then I would find a seat by window, and sit reading my novel, for as long as I desired.

I could feel my body relaxing, just from imagining how wonderful it would be!

I didn’t even feel guilty for this ‘unproductive’ me time. It had been months, no, years since I had any time to myself (unless you counted the few times that I would get groceries on my own).

Finally, ten years after having baby number one (also known as Alison), seven years after having baby number two (also known as Michael), and five years after having Suzanna, I was about to have a day to myself.

Today I took Suzanna to school for the first time. While other mothers and their children sniffed and sobbed, Suzanna did her best to convince me that I did not have to walk her into the classroom. I did though, not because I felt she needed me to, or that I needed to do so for myself, but because it seemed like the right thing to do. Really it was because I was worried what the other mothers and the teacher would think if I my little girl were to walk herself into class on the first day of kindergarten.

Ah, the old, “what would people think of me” conundrum. I wonder if we ever outgrow that guilt-laden way of thinking. I wonder, at what age do we begin to thing that way? Making our decisions based on what other people would think of us. I am sure it must be a learned way of thinking, and not something that we do innately.

For now, though, there was no guilt, no pressures, no stresses. It was just me and an entire day of freedom. I was almost giddy with anticipation.

Then, out of nowhere, the car ahead of me stopped abruptly. My brain and body went into automatic pilot, and my vehicle screeched to an immediate stop. I was sure I was mere millimeters from the vehicle in front of me, but was so thankful that the sound of crunching metal, that I had anticipated, never was made.

I peered to the left, and the right, and still could see no reason for the abrupt stop. So I rolled my window down, so as to lean out and see ahead of the line of waiting vehicles. It appeared to be an accident, at the intersection. There was a police cruiser, and vehicle parts in the intersection.

I moved my head back into my van, and as I did something to the left caught my eye.

Rose Part 1

Read Full Post »

A Rose By Any Other Name

Posted in A Rose by any other Name, WONDER, tagged A Rose by any other Name, Bench, Death, Future, Hope, Life, Past, Present, Rose on June 7, 2012| 1 Comment »

Prelude

Walking to the bench, the bench I had passed so many times, was like that magical experience of walking the flower lined aisle at my wedding, with my eyes filled with contained tears. I was walking deliberately, intentionally, from the past, and into a new future, full of dreams and hopes like a bride, eager to sign the marriage covenant with the one she loves.

As I lay the bouquet on the bench, and the tears spilled onto my cheeks, a sense of beginning and of completion took over. All of the pieces of my life were flashing before me. I could see how interwoven each and every step of my life was.

I felt as though by laying these roses on the bench, I was saying goodbye and hello. I felt as though my action, although small, tied me to the past and to the future at the same time.

My future … it was not long ago that I felt I had no future. It was just days before when death looked more hopeful than life itself. It was just days before when a death brought me back to life. No, not back to life, it was as if I was introduced to life for the first time.

Days ago, I had not dreamed that I would, that I could find such value and satisfaction from such a simple act. Days ago death was all I could see.

There is just no way that anyone could ever have constructed the details of so many things of the past number of years, of my whole life, to bring me to this point. In the most perfect of timing, revelations of my past were placed into my hands, and they allowed me to open the door to my future. It was all such impossibility that these circumstances were laid out in front of my, in a way that would bring me full circle.

The questions that I had stopped asking, but were always with me, were answered. The pieces of my life had come together in the most beautiful bouquet of completion. My life, my whole life, had come together, like seeds and plants of a variety of species, planted together in a garden designed by a master

There is only one way for all of these pieces to come together in the way they had, and that way was so out of my control, and yet in complete control of my entire life, all this time.

I took a deep breath, stood back to look at those roses on the bench, tears flowing steadily.

From somewhere deep inside of me, a song emerged on my tongue;

“I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses …”

Rose Part 2

Read Full Post »

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged dreaming, Elisabeth Elliot, Future, hopes, Planning, preparation, Present, time on May 25, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I love to anticipate things to come. I love to plan vacations, and times away with hubby. I love to count down weeks to school breaks (currently only five more weeks of work until summer break starts …). I love to dream about concerts and other events that I have tickets to, I awaken and my mouth starts watering as I contemplate what I will prepare for dinner.

My brain loves to focus on the good things to come. It is a survival tactic, to get through the more mundane parts of life (this is my undiagnosed ADD talking). It is my way of focusing on the prize that is to come.

I plot and plan, I dream and scheme, all with the hopes of ordering my future fixation … whatever it might be.

It is not bad to look forward to good things that we anticipate coming our way. It is just that we must keep in mind that our planning for future events and experiences is not guaranteed.

I might plan a vacation, and then something comes up that requires I change those plans. I might be looking forward to a summer off, but when a job comes up that could ease our family finances, I need to take it, and forgo that time of R & R. A concert that I have tickets to might get canceled. I might plan something amazing for dinner, but because I end up taxiing kids all afternoon, that gourmet dinner is substituted with hot dogs.

In the midst of my plotting and dreaming, my hopes and dreams, life happens. It is rarely what I would have chosen the path of my life to be.

Even worse, though, than having my plans not be fulfilled, is that I can be so fixated on what is to come, that I forget to enjoy and fully live in the present moment. My eyes can be straining so hard to see the future that they cannot focus on what is currently before me.

That might mean that I am missing out on the beauty, the lessons, the preparation for whatever is around the next corner. In my preoccupation with the future, I might be missing out on the gift of the present time.

“Today is mine.
Tomorrow is none of my business.
If I peer anxiously into the fog of the future,
I will strain my spiritual eyes so that I will not see clearly
what is required of me now.”
Elisabeth Elliot

Read Full Post »

Loving Enough to Discipline

Posted in FAMILY, life, Love, The Kids, WONDER, tagged behavior, boundaries, correction, discipline, Future, Good, negative, Proverbc 21:1, Proverbs 15:32, Proverbs 15:5, Proverbs 19:18, { on April 19, 2012| 5 Comments »

The other day I became a mother, all over again, and , although a physical labor was not involved (thank goodness) it was energy draining.

The child who I ‘mothered’ is not my own, by DNA or adoption, she is our ‘daughter from another mother’ who has entrusted her to us while she (and her brother) lives here in Canada, and I love her dearly.

One of my ‘own’ daughters told me recently that I do show love to this girl and her brother. She even said that I love them like a mother. She also said I do not discipline them like a loving mother … ouch! Thankfully, she said it all kindly, and so, for a few weeks, I have been mulling our conversation over in my mind.

It is tough to discipline someone who is not your own child. It is more difficult to set boundaries. We do not have a long foundation of relationship. We do not have a foundation of expectations. We do not have a past of being loved before and after discipline. As I have considered the wise words of my daughter, I have been keenly aware that IF I do love this girl, boundaries and correction are necessary expressions of that love.

Correction, or discipline, is a means of making a child aware of not just positive consequences in life, but negative ones as well. I believe that by disciplining small things (ie. requiring a child to apologize to a sibling when they have been mean or rude, or having them pick up every last piece of building blocks that they dumped on the floor when having a temper tantrum), when a child is young, creates a distaste for negative consequences and therefore instills a desire to do what is right, and good as they mature and grow. To not correct or discipline is to force a child to face negative consequences of greater magnitude when they get older (being expelled from school, being arrested).

The Bible speaks significantly of the wisdom of discipline:

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Proverbs 21:1

“He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” Proverbs 15:32

“Discipline your son (daughter), for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.” Proverbs 19:18

“A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.” Proverbs 15:5

Recently, a teacher at the school I work, shared a true story, told to him by his daughter:
While waiting in a long lineup at a large store, a woman was hit by the large cart behind her. She smiled politely, to allow the cart handler, a child, know that she felt it. She turned back, and was hit again … and again … and again. The hit upon lady turned to the child and said, “please do not push your cart.” She again turned back, and was, again, hit by the cart. This time she turned to the mother, as others were watching, as said, ” could you please have your child stop pushing the cart, it is hitting me.” To which the mother replied, “I do not believe in giving my child boundaries.”
At this point, you can imagine the heads of spectators, looking towards the woman, looking towards the mother, and back and forth, waiting with bated breath to see what might happen next. Probably many with thoughts of “if I was that woman …”
As all of this was happening one spectator, a man, was nearby, taking in the whole situation, while drinking a yogurt drink. He slowly, leisurely walked over to the child, and poured some of his drink on top of the child’s head. He then poured some on the top of the speechless mother’s head. The mother was aghast! The man looked at her and said, “my mother never believed in teaching me boundaries either.”
The crowd erupted into applause! The mother and child quickly exited the store.

I wish I had been there.

To love is to set boundaries, to correct and to discipline. It is not the easy thing to do, but it is a most positive and long lasting way to enrich the lives of our children (by birth or circumstance), and to show them that we love them. My daughter by another mother may never thank me for setting boundaries, and correcting her behavior, but I feel certain that it was an act of love on my part.

Read Full Post »

Forever Scarred

Posted in life, Love, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Committments., Forever, Future, Impression, Leonard Cohen, Love, Marriage, Past, Permanent, Present, Scarred, Scars, Vows, Wedding on January 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Impressions come in many forms. There are the impressions we make on others, either by how we look, or act, or how we make them feel. There are also impressions, like the ones that imprint a physical lasting mark, like a tattoo or a scar.

I have an impression, a scar, on my left ring finger. It is an indelible impression, one that will never go away, one that is permanent.

Over a year ago I noticed a frustratingly itchy rash on my ring finger, the ring finger where I wore my wedding ring. I figured the best was to alleviate the non-stop irritation was to remove my wedding ring.

Sure enough, it worked! Not over night, but eventually (and with the use of a good healing cream), the rash and it’s nasty irritation were gone.

But, I have yet to return to wearing my wedding band. I had gotten out of the habit of wearing it, and that is really saying something, because, other than the few times I was in a hospital, I had never removed my wedding ring (night or day) since my husband placed it on my finger, over twenty-two years ago.

Now, over a year after removing it, there is an impression of that ring still visible on my finger.

It has faded a bit, but only slightly. I have been altered by the symbol of the vow I made all those years ago. It is a permanent scar, forever there to remind me of that vow I made with my words.

That is what the impression of a scar does, it reminds us. It can remind us of when we were a child and suffered a deep wound. A scar reminds us of the surgery that may have saved our life. A scar reminds us of pain.

But a scar, like the one on my ring finger, can also remind us of the hope of a new life with someone, of dreams fulfilled, and ones yet to happen. It can remind us of overcoming pain, of beating struggles, of memories made, and secrets shared and children shared, and a sense of oneness with another that can only be shared by two who bear the same scars.

One of these days I will pull that gold band back out (or maybe hubby will) and place it back on my finger. Until then, there is a permanent scar, an indelible impression that reminds me every day of the past, and the present, and the future to come.

“Children show scars like medals.

Lovers use them as secrets to reveal.

A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.”

Leonard Cohen

Read Full Post »

Missing the Past-Excited for the Future

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Change, Future, Rememberig the Past, School, Students, Wonder, Work on September 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Working as a support staff, in a high school, everything about what is my job can change from one year to the next.

Last year I worked fifty percent, this year I work one hundred percent. Last year I worked with three students, in grades ten, eleven, and twelve. This year I work with five in grade nine, and one in grade eleven. Last year I worked off campus part of my time, this year I work only on campus. Last year worked with my three students, primarily out of class. This year I am in class almost all the time, and assisting all students who need it. Last year two of the students I worked with graduated, this year there will be no graduates among the students I work with.

It was like starting a new job when school began last week (and I am sleeping solidly because of it)!

Since the start of school, I have to say I have been missing last year, and all that was familiar about it. I miss the quick, cheeky tongues of the the older students, I miss interacting with business people to set up work experience opportunities, I miss the interactions with the parents (moms) of the students, I miss the challenge of out-witting the older students who lived to be late to class, or look at life through a half-full cup … I simply miss the individual students … period.

It would be so easy to say … last year was so much better than this one. As is always the case, what we know is more appealing, more comfortable than what we do not know, and what is unfamiliar to us. It would be so easy to start looking at the school year through a half-full cup …

But, a new broom sweeps clean! And my undiagnosed ADD thrives with change, novelty and challenge.

I have been getting to know the personalities and habits of the new students that I work with. I have been able to see how unjaded high school freshmen are to their senior counterparts. I have been getting to know classroom teachers, whose classes I have not been in before (or for a long time). I have been challenged in having to think out of the box in classroom settings, according to what assists the students needs best.

In all of this there is an excitement to this new year! There is a blank slate effect that I get to be there with the students as they begin their high school career.

The other day, one of the students said, “Mrs. Wheaton, will you work with us until we graduate?” And, on the inside, I smiled, because the thought of that excited me immensely. The thought of providing consistency to students who often thrive in consistency gave me something to hope for … for them, but for me too. But, the nature of this job is that change is inevitable, and there are no guarantees of what next year, let alone three years from now, will look like. But, for now, I know that it’s going to be a great year!

And my focus is to begin with the end in mind, so I will work with them as though I will see them through to graduation. And, together, we can learn so much.

Read Full Post »

Football!

Posted in FAMILY, WONDER, tagged Boys, Change, Father and Son, Football, Future, Hero, Hope, Life, Model of Manhood on September 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Today I will go to see my son play football for the first time!

Way back in April, hubby was telling me how much our boy wanted to play football this year. I had my doubts … doubts that our son was the one who wanted to play football. You see hubby loves football! He played in high school. When we met, and were first married, he coached high school football for about seven years. And, he loved it, and he was good!

But, our son … although he physically looks like a clone of hubby, and his mannerisms endorse that cloning possibility, his interests tend to be different from his dads. And, I was really not feeling confident that it was our son who was understanding of the level of commitment and physical exertion that would be required to play on a football team.

I was pretty sure that dad was hoping to live vicariously through son.

But, I was so wrong!

Although he is not yet twelve, and one of the youngest players on his team. He has been practicing three hours a week, since later June. And now that the game season has begun, practice hours are at four and a half, plus games. And he cannot wait to get to a single practice! And he watches the clock, so that he can be ready to go. And he comes home, totally exhausted, saying it was great (even when he gets knocked onto his behind regularly). And he loves his coach. And he loves playing with the guys.

And … he loves that it is just he and his dad :), because his dad, is also one of the coaches on the team.

His dad, more than genetic material, and disciplinarian, and caregiver … is his greatest hero. It is his dad whose opinion matters most to him, It is his dad whose every word, every step he watches, and tries to emulate. Even though their personalities are so different, he knows that it is in his dads heart and life, that he can see his own future.

In the past couple of years, as adolescence has been rearing it’s head, I have been silently mourning the loss of MY little boy. But, this summer, as I see the bond of father and son developing more strongly, more tightly, I am mourning less and celebrating more.

I can love my son tenderly and I can be the first to receive hugs from him (and wonderful bear hugs they are), but I cannot give to him the one thing he needs most … a model of what it is to be a man, and a model of what it is to be a man after God’s heart. It is in the model of who my hubby is, and wants to be, that our son can see hope for his own future, as he grows into manhood.

I am so thankful for the dad my son (and daughters) has. I know he will have the courage and wisdom to coach our son from the experiences (positive and negative) that he has had so far. And, he will also have the wisdom to tackle him into a bear hug, through the years to come.

And I will willingly sit in the bleaches, cheering them on, as he and our son grow and learn together.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »