Next month is a … significant birthday. Significant birthdays tend to cause reflection, reassessment and sometimes even regret.
We look at where we are, who is in our circle, goals accomplished and those that are in the dust of yesterdays.
The question of if I could go back in time has been surfacing in my mind lately.
It is an interesting question to ask oneself, for it helps to focus in on what matters right now, where satisfaction lies and how we move forward into the future.
The family created from the choice to marry, at such a young age, is simply the gold in my life. For this circle of five has stretched, taught and enhanced my life every day … even on the worst of days.
The friends who have come and gone and stayed … each one a precious and personal teacher, mentor, supporter and guide through the hills and valleys of this life.
Though I do wish I had not stopped pursuing education, and the education I have attained would seem varied and unconnected. Yet, as I look at the work I am in and possible plans for the future, maybe it all just kind of fits in a weird and wonderful way … with not a smidgen of waste.
I love my job, it’s purpose, it’s form, the people. As I look back at what I had hoped to do, I have arrived exactly where I had dreamed … though the job, then didn’t even exist.
I could never have imagined that I would get the opportunity to live in three such unique Canadian provinces, spanning the East to West coasts. I have learned greatly from these communities, and though living away causes a longing for family, I don’t think I would want to do this life without the variety of places to call home.
If I could go back in time …
Sure there are choices made, paths taken and priorities made that could have been done differently, even better. Certainly I would not have chosen to have experienced the heartbreaks in my life (especially the ones that were caused by my decisions alone).
Yet …
Where would I be today without the whole package? The good, the bad and the ugly? Who would I be without the heartaches, the mistakes, even the regrets? So many of those regrets and mistakes have eventually brought amazing blessings days and years down the road … I just didn’t see it at the time.
1 Corinthians 13:12 tells us:
“Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
A ‘dim reflection’, is translated from the Greek word, ainigmati , which means an enigma, a puzzle. When I look at things going on in my life today I may just see mistakes, regrets and heartaches that only seem bad, sad. Today is a dim reflection, it is a puzzle as to how today’s negative things can have purpose. But, looking back we can see them all fit together into a bigger, clearer picture.
Today I know in part; then I shall know fully, as the One by whom I am fully known.
itsawonderfilledlife 