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Posts Tagged ‘Ill’

Sick

I had a “to do” list to accomplish, as we all do, so as stay on top of all that is demanded of us.

As the evening wore on fatigue was setting in quickly and with a dramatic vengeance. I knew that I would not be accomplishing much that I had planned for the evening.

By 8:30 I was crawling into bed with the hope that the early bedtime would help me ward off whatever it was that was causing the intense fatigue that I was feeling. It always amazes me how sleep can restore energy and health like nothing else. But my plan was not going to go as I hoped.

Despite the intense fatigue that took me to my bed early, sleep did not seem to want to find me. but shivering did, followed by a headache, followed by body aches. It was a night of little sleep, and much contemplation of how to get feeling better by morning, so as to not have to miss out on a day of work (especially since I had not finished my “sub.” plans yet), and all that was on my “to do” list.

By the morning I was aware that going to work was just not going to happen, due to how fatiguing it was just to walk to the kitchen. Even so, I thought that maybe I could get a head start on the mounds of laundry, if I was to be home all day.

The plans of my day, including work, my “to do” list and laundry, were not going to happen, as I could barely do more than walk from one room to the next, followed by a nap. The day was a wash. My plans were thrown out the window. Although I was home alone for much of the day, I was without the energy to do anything more than change channels on the television.

This day of being sick and having low energy reminded me of a verse in the Proverbs of the Old Testament (Proverbs 16:9):

“We plan the way we want to live,
but only God makes us able to live it.”

I had made my plans for my day at work, for my evening, and for the weekend to come. In an instant the plans I had made were changed. And I was reminded that “only God makes me able to live it.”

He is the wind beneath the sails of our life, and it is by Him, and due to Him that we are able to live our lives. He directs the pursuits that we make, it is He who gives fuel to our every move.

Even though I know that it is God who makes us able to live, I forget it. I rely on my own steam, forgetting that it is He who is the fire that produces that steam.

Being sick and unable to do anything on my own strength for a couple of days was a good reminder of where my strength really comes from. It was a reminder that I needed to have.

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I feel cruddy! My head is swirling, my body aches, my brain is not thinking straight, and there is a throbbing in my heart that just won’t rest. I think I need to see a physician.

Other than my body aches (from a super energetic walk with hubby, after going far too long without doing so), none of my symptoms are ones that a Medical Practitioner could help with. They are ones that come from disappointments that life sometimes brings our way.

My symptoms are ones of angst for the hurting of ones I love. Sometimes baring the burdens of others is more weighty, more heavy than bearing our own. And, on this particular day, my shoulders are sagging with the weight of the burden of another. My sleep, my appetite (oh, how I wish it affected me by my losing my appetite … then there could be some good come of this heaviness), my every thought is preoccupied with this smothering burden.

Then I heard a song on the radio, and it reminded me that the one who makes the world spin on it’s axis has everything under control. I still do not know how things will work out for this burdened on who I love, but I know who loves this person more than me, and I trust in You, the Great Physician, to carry this burden, and to carry us.
Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

“Are you tired?

Worn out?

Burned out on religion?

Come to me.

Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.

I’ll show you how to take a real rest.

Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.

Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.

Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

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