As our son completed his application for a six month training and global mission experience, far, far from home …
As he prepared for work and service at summer camp …
I was reminded, yet again, that parenting, but especially motherhood, is not a single experience of labor pains, but a lifetime of them …
the pains, not decreasing, but becoming more intense.
It is not that I do not want him to have such experiences, nor do I resent his increasing independence, nor are these pains only for him … for he has two older sisters who also bring me to my knees in the pain of growing up, growing away, into their own lives.
When a couple, a woman, discovers a child is on it’s way, whether by planning or surprise, the pains of growing up are overlooked, ignored. All thoughts, energies and even dreams have to do with what will be experienced together.
Parenting is far more about the many big and small steps to individuality than it ever is about the original family unit. The goal and purpose of childrearing is to raise the next generation, to continue in the care of our earth and everything in it and to worship and share the redeeming nature of God, not to raise a human will meet our needs and desires.
Parenting must always be for the life that is lived apart from me, from us, as parents. It is the supreme exercise in working yourself out of a job. It is what we do not dream or envision to be the end result, yet our job is to lead our children to achieve independence from us.
As I look towards our son’s summer camp experiences, at his across the globe trip, it is a little like the anticipation during pregnancy, during the pains of labor, for I focus not on the temporary pains, but the thrill of what will be birthed through them.
“A woman giving birth to a child has pain
because her time has come;
but when her baby is born
she forgets the anguish
because of her joy that a child is born into the world.”
John 16:21
itsawonderfilledlife 