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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

What Would you Do?

Posted in life, women, WONDER, tagged Abuse, Choices, Life, Pregnancy, Pregnant, Psalm 139, single and pregnant, Unwed and Pregnant, What would you do? on March 22, 2012| Leave a Comment »

What would you advise? What would you suggest? What would you do?

A young woman discovers she is pregnant.

She works an office job. She makes little money. She does not have a car … or her drivers license.

She still lives at home with her parents. A household where she has witnessed, and experienced, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.

Her boyfriend, of a few years, asks whose baby it is. He is not planning to stick around!

She is pregnant.

What would you advise her? What would you suggest she do? What would you do, if you were that girl?

Really, what would you advise? What would you do?

The girl has options:
1. abort the pregnancy
2. go to term, and allow the baby to be adopted
3. keep the baby

What would you do? Seriously!

This is not a new, or uncommon situation. It is one that has directly affected the lives of many women, through all generations. It is not an easy situation. It is not a comfortable one.

Now, seriously, what would you advise? What would you do?

I will tell you what this young woman did …

She continued the pregnancy, and delivered a healthy baby girl. She kept the child. She, and her child, continued to live in her parents home until she met and married a man who proposed to her, and asked to adopt her child simultaneously. The child grew, and was joined by two brothers (who were royal pains in the … neck). She grew up, married, had three children, had friends, and hobbies, and a job she loves. She found her Creator through the faith and life of her grandmother. She has not had a flawless, perfect life, but she has had … life.

Today, forty-three years later, I celebrate my birthday. In real terms, I celebrate my meaningful life, because my mother made a tough decision, without any knowledge of how this decision was going to play out.

Even as I contemplate the circumstances through which she made her decision, and even though I am thankful for the life she chose to give me, I do not know that I would advise or counsel another woman to do the same. Her circumstances would make the decision to continue the pregnancy and to keep her child so … unwise.

Whether or not my mother acknowledged this at the time or not, we do not know the future, and we do not know the purpose in pain, or the value in struggle. Only our Creator knows why the DNA of two people came together to form a new being, a new life.

My life has not been flawless, or perfect. It has not been without pain, or struggle, or heartache. I have not lived a life without regrets, or sins. I have felt hurt, and pain, and not understood why bad things have happened in my life.

But, I have had … life.

And I have my mother and the strength that she possessed when she decided to continue her pregnancy to term, give birth to and raise me.

Thanks mom, for giving me a happy birthday.

Now, what would you have done?

^“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts,God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you. ”
Psalm 139:13-18

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A Year of Blogging

Posted in WONDER, tagged Blogging, Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell, Life, My Loves, Passion, Posts, Pregnancy Loss on March 12, 2012| 4 Comments »

I have now been blogging for one year.

My first blog was published on March 10 (Regular Day), but it took my until the twenty-third to really get going, on a more daily basis.

I have shared my life, in writing, with whoever wished to read (to listen) … thanks mom 😉 . I always feel as though I AM writing what my mom will read, and it haunts me a bit. I need to be careful about how much I tell about her (Re-boiled Tea), and about my memories of my growing up years. I fear that if I go too far, I will get a nasty “now Carole” email or phone call! So, I have to watch what I say! She does need to realize, though, that with the (what she might perceive as) bad, also comes the good (Pussy Willows).

I have shared my loves as well. It is funny to me that the first of ‘My Loves’ that I shared was my beast. In no way does the order that I shared them indicate their place in my heart (although … some days … 😉 … ). My Loves are all located at the top right of this page, if you want to check them out. They are the nearest and dearest to me, and to my heart.

Hubby and I have had numerous (five) pregnancy losses, and those I have shared (Treasures in Heaven), (Entertaining an Angel) with the hope that my sharing of them gives support to others going through something similar, and gives knowledge and understanding to those who have not (The Club you don’t want to Join).

I have shared about the most frightening night of my life (Do You Love Me?), the evil thoughts I have (Evil Thoughts), and the people I admire most (Moms that I Admire).

I have shared a series about women (What Women Want), and (due to the insistence of my daughter), a continuing story that is fiction (Unfading ), as well as many, many, many about truth (Hanging On), (It Wasn’t the Nails).

I have also shared how poor I really am at grammar (as if you hadn’t figured that out in pretty much any paragraph preceding this one) (Oh, I ain’t no Good at Grammar ALOT).

Mainly though, I write this blog for me. One year later I know that it has been my place of therapy and theology, and the sublime to the ridiculous. It is here, sitting at my keyboard that I can pursue my passion (Passion), and that this one place in the word, is all mine. And it is here that I sit, and feel God working on me, and He’s not done yet.

“I believe God made me for a purpose …
and when I run
(write, dance, sing, teach, preach, build, etc., etc., etc.,)
I feel His pleasure.”
Eric Liddell

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A Walk with a Wise Girl

Posted in life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged a walk with a wise girl, Choices, decisions, future planning, Life, Parenting, reaising kids on March 7, 2012| Leave a Comment »

On Saturday I was heading out with the beast on a walk, along with my almost fifteen year old daughter. My daughter was telling me of her opinions and decisions on various topics, opinions and decisions that were far more wise than I would have had at her age.

I came home almost giddy! It is not often that, as a parent, you feel any sort of success. Usually, as parents, we feel only failure. This time I was doing my happy dance (now that is quite a mental picture).

Way back when our oldest daughter was a preschooler I heard someone speaking about parenting. This person said it is important to guide your kids towards thinking about, and making decisions BEFORE they are in a position of having to make them. So, when our kids were preschoolers, I would ask them BEFORE we went to purchase a Slurpie what flavor they hoped to get, and why. Doing this alleviated the frustratingly long time it would take them to make a decision, while there were dozens of people waiting in line behind us. Sure they sometimes changed their mind, but, overall, thinking ahead helped their anticipation of what they chose to grow. As they got older we would talk about drug and alcohol use in teens, and they would talk about the possibility of using those substances, and how that might hinder their future goals (another discussion that happens W A Y before grade 12 … more like since they could talk). So, as their peers started experimenting they have known, before peer pressure was involved, what they would choose, and why (this is not a guarantee, but if they have a goal they have chosen, and a reason for choosing it, they then have the intrinsic motivation to make choices, not in the moment, but that help them achieve their goals).

The why is important, because it gives them their own reasons for making decisions. I have always feared that my kids would make important decisions BECAUSE I told them, and so teaching them to think for themselves, set goals for themselves helps to ensure that I am not raising robotic clones.

Now don’t go thinking that I spent my Saturday patting my back. Raising kids is like playing mad scientist with a lab rat. We never know if what we are doing, and teaching, and praying for will actually produce a productive member of society. I am fully aware that even if there was a manual for successful parenting (don’t we wish) our kids still have to make their choices all by themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, she is not perfect, and can still make ridiculous decisions, as any teen (or adult) can. What I do see is that she is pulling through this time of adolescence with wisdom and an end goal as her guides.

And that gives me great hope for her future.

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Beautiful Disorder

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged A Child Will Lead Them, Amen, Disorder, Interruptions, Life, Order, Sermon, Special Needs on March 6, 2012| 1 Comment »

I love order!

I could be the most anally ordered person on the planet, if I let myself. I innately love it when things are done well, when plans go smoothly, when all the pieces fit perfectly together. It is satisfying, it is comforting, and it is NOT real life.

Our alarm clocks don’t go off, our job gets eliminated, our kids make choices that we see will have dire consequences, our significant other doesn’t bring us flowers anymore (or he/she doesn’t love us anymore), we get sick … really sick, people we love die. Real life is not always ordered, not always smooth, and the pieces do not always fit together.

Real life is messy. A normal, real, everyday life is full of mistakes, blunders, interruptions and disorder. That is the reality that we should open our eyes to each and every day.

I was at church recently, when the order of the service was … altered. Something unscripted, unpredicted, un-orderly happened.

As the pastor (have I ever mentioned how cute my pastor is? AND I get to sleep with him! … but, I digress) was preaching about how we are not condemned for our sins, because God provided the way to be redeemed (saved). After making a statement about that, there way an immediate, joy-filled “amen” that came from the congregation. The “amen” did not come from someone in church leadership, it did not come from one of the wonderful church foodies or worship leaders, it was not uttered by one of our more charismatic members, it did not even come from a pastor’s wife.

The “amen” came from a little boy. A little boy of about six years old. A little boy who has special needs.

Now this little boy is, as my grandmother would say, “cute as a button.” He is full of love, and energy, and is not inhibited in any way, or at any time. As cute and as joyful as he is, he has special needs. And, as one who gets paid to work with students with special needs, parenting him is more stressful, more demanding, more un-orderly. His parents awaken, every day, knowing that their human desire for order will be obliterated as soon as the day begins.

And, despite the fact that he is a walking, talking, chaos-causing conduit of disorder, he was able to hear the good news that God gives through the redemption available to us. He blessed the entire congregation by his impulsive, disorderly, “amen”.

And, he humbled at least one, silent, pastor’s wife, who was sitting there, content in her orderly state.

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Wedding Day Memories

Posted in life, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Anniversary, Life, Marriage, Memories, Wedding, Wedding Day Memories, Wonder on September 30, 2011| 3 Comments »

Memories are funny things. There are some details of the past that we remember, and other details are forgotten forever.

Twenty-two years ago today I went to a high school football game. My brother was playing on one of the teams, and my fiance was coaching that same team. It was a perfect autumn day … the sun shining brightly, the air crisp, the leaves on the trees in the early stages of turning from bright green to hues of gold and red. It is a day I remember so well, because it was the day of the biggest argument of our dating relationship … the day before our wedding.

I have no idea what we were arguing about, I can only remember the intensity of the emotions I felt. Obviously, whatever it was that had vexed us was resolved, and the following day I met him at the end of the aisle, where we traded in our individual lives for a future together.

The memories of our wedding day decrease with each passing year. If there are this many fewer memories after twenty-two years, will I even remember that I am married in twenty-two more?

But, what I do remember are the vivid broad strokes of our day.

I remember that our wedding started late, and it wasn’t because I was trying to be fashionably late … our soloist was flying into New Brunswick from Toronto, and his flight was late.

I remember that the pastor we had to marry us thought he was at a preach-a-thon … he spoke for about an hour after the processional, before actually marrying us.

I remember that my mother in law wore gray … much cheerier than the black that her mother wore at her wedding.

I remember that, as I looked at my groom awaiting me at the end of the aisle, he was gray (like his mother’s dress), and looked as though he might pass out … so much for the groom’s look of awe at the brides glowing beauty …

So, not all memories are so sweet 😉 but, alas, my memories of our wedding day were also not all so depressing.

I remember a twinge of regret as my dad ‘gave me away’ to my groom.

I remember how confident I felt as I repeated my vows, and said ‘I do.’

I remember that when my groom slipped his ring (a most simple band) on my finger I could not imagine a more wonderful, a more exquisite piece of jewelery in the world.

I remember gladly signing my name on the marriage license.

I remember driving off to our honeymoon (a trip, by car, of over 3000 miles … one way … and hubby wonders why I have little interest in road trips), reliving the details of the day, together.

The memories of that day fill my mind and my heart at times like this, when we remember and celebrate our corporate survival, and our hope of many years to come.

Happy Anniversary Hubby

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Remembering a Regular Day

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Japan Tsunami, Life, March 11 2011, Mundane, Regular, Remembering a Regular Day on September 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

As I sat at my computer, staring, hoping that some inspiration would fall from the skies for the next blog entry … nothing fell. It was the first time, since I wrote my first blog entry (way back in March of 2011), that I didn’t have a clue what to write, and it was really beginning to get me down.

So, I decided to reread a few posts of blogging past. It was in rereading my very first blog post, just-a-regular-day, that I was inspired to write again.

My very first post was written and published on Thursday, March 10, 2011. In it I wrote about the regular, mundane details of a regular, mundane day. I wrote about awakening, working, shopping for produce, making dinner and going to bed. I spoke of how easily I can become bored with regular and mundane.

One thing I had said, from my blog post, caught my eye … “There are many ‘what ifs’ in each and every ‘regular’ day. They are the what ifs that, if they were different, if they altered, my regular day would be catastrophic, disheartening, life-changing.”

When I finished reading it, I looked at the date of it again, March 10, 2011 … the day before (really just hours before) the magnitude 9.0 earthquake off the coast of Japan, which was followed by the tsunami that took the lives nearly 16,000 people. For so many the ‘what ifs’ of that day altered their ‘regular’ day, profoundly.

The events of that day, which probably started so regularly for most there, altered the course of the future for tens of thousands of people. There were those who died. There were those who were injured. There were those who lost family members, friends and colleagues. There were those who lost their homes. There were those whose place of employment was lost. There were those who lost crops. There was so much loss!

Their day began as regular as any other, but it ended in catastrophe, disheartening, and it was so life-changing.

I wonder if the days, the weeks, the months following the events of that day … did/do people there ever dream of a regular day?

A day where the alarm goes off at the same time.

A day where you bid farewell to your family in the morning, fully anticipating the end of the day reunion.

A day where you go off to work.

A day where you have to shop for produce.

A day where you make dinner.

A day where you fall into bed, tired, and ready to do it all over again tomorrow.

A regular, boring, mundane …

… real, beautiful, satisfying, worth-living for … LIFE.

I am so not going to allow not knowing what to write about get me down again … maybe I’ll just write about my regular day.

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Endurance

Posted in Love, Marriage, WONDER, tagged Endurance, Life, Love, Marathon, Marriage, Memories, Race, Short Track on September 27, 2011| Leave a Comment »

It is a rare thing for an athlete to have both a gifting for speed and for endurance. The short track runner needs to have the human equivalent of fuel injection … they need to start fast and keep it going to the end. The marathon runner needs to be able to pace his or her self … it is a long run, and so their energies need to be spread out over a longer period of time, running consistently until they cross the finish line.

Endurance has become, in our society, a word associated primarily with athletics. I am no athlete, but I do know that my natural tendency in living is that of the short track runner.

I can start well, I have amazing energies for short term projects (and if they are long term, they are still sitting, unfinished, in a closet in my house), I am fantastic at responding in a crises, I am a confident trouble-shooter. I struggle to know how to be balanced, I struggle to start anything slowly, I can easily shelve any project or problem when I get bored of it. I struggle to keep going when I cannot see the finish line.

When I think of the word endurance, I think … marriage.

This week hubby and I will celebrate twenty-two years of marriage together. To some we have already run a marathon (amen to that), and to others we have only completed a short track event. To us … it depends on the day 😉

Twenty-two years is more than half of my life (I was married w a y too young, at twenty … now your brains are all doing the math). I have quite literally grown up with my hubby. We have gone through our twenties together, we have gone through our thirties together, and now we are speeding through our forties (he, of course, is speeding through them MUCH faster than I). We have had the joys of sharing the births of our three children, and the sorrows of losing five others. We have moved, quite literally, from east to west, together. We have loved and learned and lived … together.

When we were first married, we were both so into it! We were so focused on each other, on making sure that we were meeting each others needs. We wanted to please each other, we wanted to love each other. As life has moved on our focus on each other has been back-seated by the million and one other important things in life … children, jobs, home, yard, church, friends, etc., etc., etc. It is so easy to see the motivation behind the Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond hit “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” …

She He

You don’t bring me flowers                                        You hardly talk to me anymore
You don’t sing me love songs                                     When you come through that door at the end of the day…
I remember when you couldn’t wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after loving me late at night                              When it’s good for you, babe.
When you just roll over and turn out the light… And you’re feeling all right
And you don’t bring me flowers anymore

Those memories of early in the relationship ‘short track’ love, can be a great and horrible wedge once you are into the endurance run of ’til death do us part’ marriage. It is so easy to remember and reminisce about the new (and young) love stage of relationship. Often it is easier to remember it than it is to maintain it. And it is easier to remember what your spouse used to do for you and I, than to remember what you (I) used to do for them.

This marriage thing … it is definitely an endurance run. And, it is a tandem run, as well … it means that the success or failure of your marriage is dependent on both runners giving their all, all the time. Keeping pace with where your partner is heading. Being alert to possible ailments or distractions, for yourself, and for your partner. It also means that, at times, you will be the stronger one, and you will need to pull them along when they are weak, or ill, or just not on top of their race. But another key element to running the race together is rehydrating, refreshing each other … sometimes that refreshment comes from being apart, but usually it means making time to be together.

Like water to a weary runners body, time away, as a couple is not just a nice thing to do, but it is necessary if the marriage is to be kept alive. Sometimes it can be accomplished as easily as taking a walk together, or going to bed early and locking the door (there is nothing so disturbing to adolescent and teenage children, as a closed parents bedroom door, BEFORE they go to bed … their response is equal to the classic ‘heebie-jeebies’ … personally I am thinking of investing in a ‘do not disturb’ sign … just to keep shocking them … I figure my goal in life is to shock them before they shock me 🙂 … but, I digress). Sometimes it is a dinner out … not with another couple, but alone, making eye contact and talking. And, sometimes it is a day or more away, together, to reconnect just as a couple, and rediscover what it is that drew you both together in the first place (sometimes that is more advantageous than what is keeping you together presently … if it is not a happy and productive leg of the marathon).

So, we pace ourselves, my hubby and I … and hopefully we can make a time of refreshment possible … so that we can keep pressing on to the finish line … together, in tandem.

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Everything Hurts and I Love it

Posted in life, Nature/Creation, The Beast, WONDER, tagged Bear in Area, Beast, Beauty, Creation, dog, Exercise, Fort to Fort, Life, nature, poo, walk, Wonder on September 26, 2011| 2 Comments »

My first thoughts when I awoke this morning were I don’t know if I can walk to the bathroom, and I need coffee. The two thoughts go together too.

Yesterday, for the first time in over a month, I walked my favorite trail … all of it. It took over two hours, and it was great (it was great to be done, maybe not so great while doing it 😉 ). The weather was hot and humid, the trail was full of walkers and bikers, and we did it … my beast and I.

The poor beast was panting hard on the second half of our walk. Just as her tongue was dripping from her hard panting, I was sweating like a stuffed pig on a spit (was a pretty pair we must have been).

On our first half we did take a few breaks, so that the beast wouldn’t collapse on me (of course there was no danger of me collapsing … ). We would walk down to the rivers edge (which was much farther out than a month ago. Heck it was much farther out than I had ever seen it) so that she could cool off in the water, and get a drink at the same time.

There were many people standing on the rivers edge, fishing. It was a day to be out, a day for people to enjoy what might be a last day of Indian summer. A day to enjoy the beauty and wonder of nature … the sun, the fresh air, the leaf laden trees, and all of the other beauties outside.

As we turned started our second half, we were confronted by the sign to the right … that did not make for a confident walk back! Seriously, I did not need that! I already have paranoid thoughts whenever I am walking in the wilderness (like down my street) about being chased by a bear … I did not need confirmation that they were actually in the same area that I was in! What made it worse was that, shortly after seeing that bright and foreboding sign, I saw a tail on the pathway (and I am sure that it was not there when I passed that way just moments before). A squirrel’s tail … without the squirrel! I was now in a desperate state. So, I did what any well-adjusted, mature, woman in my right mind would do … I texted a picture of the sign to hubby, so that he would know how I died. And his response … was about a half hour later! I could have been bear poop by the time he responded! So much for sensitive, hubby!

Alas, the beast and I did survive the potential of a bear attack 🙂 .

But then, just as I was feeling as though we were safe from calamity, my beast started making all of the signs of needed to poo. And I, of course, was ready! As she squatted, I untied the poo bag from her harness (I know making her wear her poo bags is the equivalent of me wearing toilet paper around my neck, out in public … but, she is a very self confident dog). And when I started to put the bag over my hand … there was a hole in it … at the end (where my middle fingers would be … yuck). Alas, I was like a girl scout, and was prepared for anything! I had two bags! So, I doubled up, scooped up, tied up and we continued on.

We had a very uneventful second half of our walk (minus the anxiety-provoking sign and hole in the poo bag incidents). I am not sure which of us started to sprint-walk once the van was in site, but I know that both the beast and I were overwhelmingly thrilled to see it. The beast settled into the back seat, and did not move again until we got back home.

And we both slept well that night … with our minds full of the beautiful visions of our walk, and the sense of accomplishment of doing something that allowed us to exercise and enjoy the beauty of creation.

And my aching body … it pales in contrast with how wonderfully my soul feels.

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Passion

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Life, Passion, Passionate, Purpose, Wonder on September 16, 2011| 3 Comments »

Someone asked me this week how I can find time to write a blog.

We do have a busy family of seven. There is hubby and I, two daughters, one son, plus the newest arrival of a brother and sister from China, who we also call our son and daughter. I also took on full time work this September. Hubby is a busy, in demand, pastor of a great church family. Our kids are involved in various activities. And … then there is the beast …

So, yes we are busy, and finding time to write a blog is not easy.

But, for me, to take (to make, to carve out) time each day, five days a week, to write … well it makes my days proceed with more ease, more fluidity, more … purpose (and writing forces me to walk, because the opportunity to exercise, breath deeply and enjoy the calling of God’s creation give me wonder to write about). Because I know this to be true, I cannot stop writing, for fear that I will not function as well, as healthily, as … purposeful.

I have discovered that my passion of writing (albeit with dreadfully poor grammar) is something that I must force myself to do, in order to receive it’s benefits. Although the practice of writing makes my heart beat with passion, it is still a habit that I must discipline myself to do, because my love of it is not enough to keep the passion going.

Have you ever been … passionate? I’m not talking about another person (although that is okay too … well, if they feel the same way about you). What I am talking about is the thing or things that make you feel like you are successful, not because of the outcome of doing them, but because of how empowered, how energized you feel while doing them. The thing you do that makes everything else you do in living your life (from making dinner, to wiping noses, to picking up beasty poo) better, more enjoyable.

Within each one of us is a passion, a unique calling in our life to fulfill. For some, it might be their job. For some, it might be a daily task that they love to do (one of my friends loves to clean … go figure … and so she now does housecleaning for others … and I am eternally thankful, every Wednesday … actually, I bet she has another passion … maybe she has been to shy to share it). For some it is a hobby that they share. And, for others a hobby that they do not share. I bet that for most, it is something that they are scared to admit, or don’t know it yet, or … something that they know they like, but they do not make time for it in their lives (like me, for far too long).

I encourage you, from my own experience, seek it out, carve time out of your busy schedule to regularly practice it.

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Control Freak

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Being Right, Change, Control Freak, Controlling, FAMILY, GOD, Life, Relationships over Being Right, Transformation on September 15, 2011| 2 Comments »

Hi, my name is Carole, and I am a control freak. For those who know me, you did not need for me to admit it in such a formal, public way to know how true my statement is.

Yes, I like to do things ‘my way’. Yes I like to be the final word. Yes I have been known to pick out my hubby’s clothes (he ignores my choices of course … did I mention I am, perhaps, not the only control freak in my house?). Yes, I have been known to take the toilet paper roll off and put it back on (the right way), and I have repositioned dishes in the dishwasher, and I have re-folded towels that hubby folded (the wrong way), and so on, and so on, and so on.

And those are only the examples that were right on the top of my head (and I would admit to publicly). Imagine how much more I could tell if I actually took time to think about it?!

Being a control freak is easy, being aware of it is humbling, trying to live and think differently … not so easy.

I wonder, did it come from nature or nurture? I am an ‘oldest’ child, and being in control is a trademark of the oldest child. But, maybe it is also part of my innate personality, and will be impossible to completely exterminate.

However I developed these control freak habits, there are ones that I want to make sure are not controlling me, and making me into someone that even I would despise (kind of sounds like I want to control the control freak within me … where will it stop? I really do need professional help! Now I am controlling the controlling part of me? But, I digress).

One of the trademarks of a control freak is not just having things go their way, but being the one who is ‘right’ in conversations. This is NOT a good characteristic for someone who wants to have friends! For someone with a strong controlling nature, biting ones tongue may be the only cure (if, of course, you can attain the forethought to bite at the right time … ha!ha!ha! ‘at the right time’ … get it? A control freak thinks they are always right … but, I digress … again).

But maybe, rather than causing life-long lacerations on your tongue, there is another way. How about repeating over, and over, and over again in your head … ‘what is more important, being right, or my relationship with the person I am talking with?’ Wow! That hits in the gut, now doesn’t it? But it works! When I remember that question, I find that my conversations are far more kind, far more fair. I find I hear more, speak less, and think of the persons heart and soul over my need to be … right.

Imagine, a control freak beginning to see that someone else is more important that their need to be right … what a concept! This could change a person, this could change a family, a workplace, a community … the world … But, the most important change is that of the heart, of a cold, cruel control freak.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverb 15:1

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