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Posts Tagged ‘Love’

To My Copper Knob

Posted in FAMILY, The Kids, WONDER, tagged 15, Birthday, cell phone, Choices, Copper Knob, Cris, dating, Daughter, Growing Up, Love, Memories, proud, red head on April 5, 2012| 4 Comments »

To my Copper Knob,

I remember a dear old Scottish lady (who made the BEST shortbread, in the world, hands down … but I digress) looking at you, the first Sunday after your birth, and saying in her strong Scottish brogue, “oh, look at that beautiful copper knob.” From that moment on, there is rarely a time when I look at your bright copper hair, and do not hear the echo of her voice.

As you awaken today to a new day, to your fifteenth birthday, I will flashback, while you will flash forward.

You, as a brand new fifteen year old, will be thinking of your future. You will be hoping that your parents will fulfill their promise of a cell phone when you are in grade nine, TODAY (no comment on that one). You will be thinking about how it is only one more year until you are old enough for your driving ‘learners’. You will be thinking about three more years until high school graduation (and that means, your own car, IF you have decided not to date in high school … so you will probably also be looking forward to the freedom of having your own car AND the freedom to date … but, I digress). You will be looking forward to the future you desire most (and I will not share here, because that is YOUR hearts desire).

For myself, as the mother of a brand new fifteen year old, I will be thinking of your past. I will be thinking of how I was not with you, last year, for your fourteenth birthday. I will be thinking your thirteenth birthday party, when you CONVINCED me to allow you to invite EVERY GIRL IN YOUR CLASS to your sleepover party (really, you should consider a future as a lawyer). I will remember your emotional struggles through adolescents, relationships, and math (and how I paid you, YES I PAID MY CHILD to have her ‘let’ me help her with her math homework … again, a career in law might be worth considering). I will remember your first day of school, your first steps, your first words. I will remember how you never saw differences in people, and that some of your best friends were fifty years or more older than you (especially that next door neighbor who you loved so much that, if you saw he was outside, you were out of your car seat before our vehicle came to a stop in the driveway). I will remember the day you were born, and what seemed like forever before you took your first breath.

You look ahead.

I look back.

Each day of your life, my influence on you decreases. Each day of your life, you grow up, and apart from me (and your father). Each day of your life, you become more independent in your thoughts, your actions and your choices and plans for the future. That is how it is supposed to be. And, it IS good … even if sometimes it feels as though a limb is being torn from MY being.

There is a portion of a wedding ceremony, that your dad reads when he is performing a marriage that states, “you are giving your children to life’s adventure, and not merely away from yourselves. This is what you raise your children for, to let them go their way. And in their going they come back again to share their discoveries.” It is this that gives me joy in anticipating the future with you, that you come back to us, to share your discoveries and joys, with us.

I am proud of who you are choosing to become. Do not forget that who you become is YOUR choosing. The most important choices in your life are ones that your father and I cannot make for you. There are many that I wish for you, but they, and how you choose to life your life, are in your hands.

I love you, my Copper Knob, my favorite red-haired daughter. Continue to put your life in the hand of your Creator, and you will never walk this life alone.

Your favorite mom.

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Lemonade out of Raindrops

Posted in canada, GOD, life, The Beast, WONDER, tagged Blessing, curse, enemies, grumbling, just, lemonade, Love, Matthew 5, rain, rain forest, raindrops, Snow, Unjust on April 3, 2012| 4 Comments »

I hate rain. Well that is not completely true, because in the summer there is nothing so delightful as a cooling shower during a heat spell, or the sound of rain falling softly, as you drift off to sleep.

My family lives in the rain forest region of North America, where almost every day in winter gets rained on (I affectionately like to refer to the late fall to late spring as monsoon season).

One day, w a y back on Spring Break, I headed out for a walk. It was just me, the beast and an open trail. It was a v e r y open trail, because it was raining and most sane people were staying in the coffee shops. I was just desperate to get out and get fresh air in my lungs, and to stretch my legs.

When I began my walk in the rain, I was not singing (like Fred Astaire), but I was grumbling to the beast about the rain. I was feeling like it was a cruel punishment to have rain fall on my break, when I was finally free to get outdoors. I was grumbling … significantly.

Then the strangest thing happened, precipitation was continuing at a great pace, but it’s form started to change … to snow! Not just a few tiny flakes either, these were flakes the size of … Frosted Flakes cereal! They were enormous! They were landing, and staying, and accumulating, and fast.

The next part of my walk was effortless, happy and wonder-filled! I was singing, I was trying to catch snowflakes on my tongue (this is so not a good idea for one, such as myself, who is naturally clumsy, while one is walking), I was smiling, and walking at a much faster pace. All of a sudden my dark and depressing environment was changed into a wonderland of beauty, and that changed my internal environment.

As I drove home, smiling broadly, I found myself thinking that my hubby would NOT be excited with the weather change to snow, but he would see it as a curse! Much like how I see the rain.

Which then reminded me of a verse in the Bible. When I got home, I found it:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:43-45

I think maybe, other than talking about the sun and rain, the verse is a reminder that we are not called to Christ to live an easier existence, or one of our personal preferences. We are called to live a life of loving the unlovable of our lives … people especially, but also external circumstances as well.

In a way, we need to learn to make lemonade with the lemons we are handed in our life. I wish I had learned this lesson earlier … I might not have had times of feeling hard done by, or stuck. I wonder how some of the sour people and situations in my life might have ended up sweet, like lemonade, if I had been able to look at people and things through the eyes of love (aka. just add sugar).

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Valentines Day … Together

Posted in life, Love, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Chocolates, Committment, Flowers, Hubby, Lingerie, Love, Most Important Things, Scars, Together, Valentine's Day on February 14, 2012| Leave a Comment »

“Being saddled with someone can leave you chafed.”
Carole Wheaton

Although a certain hubby would prefer his bride leave him out of her blog posts, I happen to know that she is also a woman who prides herself on utilizing forgiveness over permission. So, that said, I (not so humbly) apologize, hubby.

This is the twenty-third Valentines Day that hubby and I will celebrate together. We have had more Valentine’s Days together than apart. There is rarely the exchange of chocolate, only periodic giving of flowers, a rare dinner out on the 14th of February, not even many purchases of lingerie. There is always an “I love you” exchanged, always kissing (oups! I forgot to warm the kids not to read this one), and … well … you know, a sharing of affection 😉 And, all of this is very comfortable for us both, as I hate the exaggerated prices for the traditional gifts of this season, and hubby hates the pressure that the day applies to his creatively challenged mind.

After ALL these years, I would have to say that Valentine’s Day IS comfortable for us both. Our expectations of the day are the same as any day … we awake (and say good morning to each other), have coffee together (and ask about each others day), we work (and either text or email at least once to each other), our family has dinner together (and we each take joy in the family that we can share), we end the day (with a kiss … well, with AT LEAST a kiss 😉 ).

If this were our last Valentine’s Day together, it is the ‘together’ that we would each miss most the following Valentine’s Day, and every day that follows our last day together. It is not flowers, or diamonds, or tickets to that ‘thing’ he (or she) wants to go to, or chocolate even, it is the TOGETHER that we would most yearn for.

Together is priceless, it cannot be duplicated, and it can only be achieved by the two who are one.

I was (tearfully) reminded of this reality recently as I read a friends cheerful post to wish her hubby : “happy birthday to the love of my life…the BIG 50!!!! What a day.” Her husband is suffering with cancer, and, without a divine miracle (and I do believe in divine miracles, as does she and her family) this will be the last birthday that they will share together … the last Valentine’s Day that they will share. I can confidently say that she will not be expecting flowers or chocolate. I do expect that she and he will look into each others eyes and share, without words even, the look of committed love that spans a life of love, and struggle, and children, and marriages, and awakening each day … together.

Being saddled with someone CAN leave you chafed, but it is the long term scarring of being so close together that creates love scars that we cherish the most.

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What is Love?

Posted in Love, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Commitment, Forgiveness, Honoring, I will go, Love, Love is, Respect, Ruth 1, Sacrifice, Sacrificial, Trust, What is Love?, where you go, Work on February 13, 2012| 6 Comments »

After twenty-two years of marriage, let me tell you what I think love is …

Love is honoring … that means that you do what is best for the other person. It means that you make the other person look and sound good to others. Putting your significant other down puts your relationship down further … don’t do it!

Love is work. When you met you may have ‘fallen’ effortlessly in love with your sweetie … how … precious. Do not expect that staying in love will be so effortlessly. Staying ‘in love’ will take daily effort, and some days might take hourly effort. Remember old Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid movie would say wax on wax off … that is the kind of work it takes to keep the love machine rolling.

Love is sacrificial … if you thought work was gonna be tough, try sacrifice. This means that you give, before, not in response to, receiving. Hum, that means you do what is best for the other person, even if it means you have to stretch, or bend. or even watch the football movie, Rudy, for the millionth time, just because it is his favorite movie, and you would rather watch P. S. I Love You (that does go both ways though, just remember, sacrifice is not sacrifice if we do it SO THAT our significant other will do back for us).

Love is respect … mutual respect. It is looking at your other half as a whole. It is seeing their value through the eyes of one who created them. It is seeing them as valuable because their Creator is made them with purpose, as He did you.

Love is trust. A relationship is not a loving one if there is not trust of the other person. When one lays their life in the hands of another, intimacy is only present if trust is as well.

Love is forgiveness, because if you are in love with a human, you will need to learn to forgiven. There will be times when Mr. or Mrs. (or Ms.) right does something wrong … there will be times when you (and I) are the ones who are doing the wrong … if love is to survive, forgiveness must thrive.

Love is commitment … that means you stay together, for the long haul. There are no escape clauses, there are no backup plans. If it is love, it is committed, or it is not love.

“Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.
Your people will be my people and your God my God.
Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.”
Ruth 1:16-17

And that is what I think love is.

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Some Creatures Eat Their Young

Posted in FAMILY, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Children, Love, Love for your kids, Parent Frustration, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Some Creatures Eat Their young, Spiders on January 31, 2012| 4 Comments »

Filial cannibalism is the act of eating ones own offspring. Creatures from birds to fish to spiders (they should eat more of their young) all practice this horrendous act.

It is disgusting! It is unbelievable! It is … pondered once in a while when you have children.

Now, obviously I am joking, but lets face it, there are days when we wonder (momentarily) why we asked for that back rub many years ago. There are days when we, as parents, feel pushed to the edge of the cliff, and the jump starts looking mighty appealing!

But then we are, ever so quickly, reminded of what our heart really feels about these offspring of ours. We would do anything for them, we would even die to save their lives.

We parents live in such a place of contradictions. We love them, we want to eat them.

Whenever one of our kids is pushing our buttons (or maybe all of them … at once!), our eldest, in her most mocking of mocking tones, likes to remind us the “sex has consequences.” Her point being that if we had not had sex, they would not be here here to drive us nuts. What her real point is, though, is that them driving us nuts is our own fault. Sigh, sometimes I regret encouraging our kids to think critically!

The thing is we do love our kids. We did want them and we forgive them faster than we could ever forgive any other. They are ours, a part of us, and no matter how often we hear the words, “some creatures eat their young” in our heads, we would die for them in an instant. And this IS the miracle of love.

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What Makes a Love Story?

Posted in life, Love, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Commitment, Disney, Disney Pixar, Love, Love Story, Marriage, Stephanie Mayer, Twilight, Up, What Makes a Love Story? on January 25, 2012| 2 Comments »

I saw the quote to the left the other day, and pondered it’s words and message.

I have read all of the “Twilight” series (minus the last … one day I will get it read too) and really enjoyed the story it told. I also think that Stephanie Mayer is a brilliant and captivating story writer. But, would I call the Twilight books a love story? No.

And then I re-watched a video clip from the Disney-Pixar hit, “Up” …

It was in the short second half of the eight minute clip that starts the movie, that a love story is told in a most sensitive, genuine and real way. It is in the story telling of the life story of Carl and Ellie that a love story is constructed.

It is the story of a couple who were not perfect, who were not popular, who were not wealthy, who were not successful in all that they pursued, who did not achieve all that they had set out and dreamed of doing.

But, it was also the story of a couple who worked together, who dreamed together, who experienced joys and sorrows together, who were committed to each other … together. And it is that, their mutual commitment and doing together that enabled them to live the love story.

That is my idea of a love story. And I don’t believe that you need to be animated to live it!

Check it out …

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Forever Scarred

Posted in life, Love, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Committments., Forever, Future, Impression, Leonard Cohen, Love, Marriage, Past, Permanent, Present, Scarred, Scars, Vows, Wedding on January 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Impressions come in many forms. There are the impressions we make on others, either by how we look, or act, or how we make them feel. There are also impressions, like the ones that imprint a physical lasting mark, like a tattoo or a scar.

I have an impression, a scar, on my left ring finger. It is an indelible impression, one that will never go away, one that is permanent.

Over a year ago I noticed a frustratingly itchy rash on my ring finger, the ring finger where I wore my wedding ring. I figured the best was to alleviate the non-stop irritation was to remove my wedding ring.

Sure enough, it worked! Not over night, but eventually (and with the use of a good healing cream), the rash and it’s nasty irritation were gone.

But, I have yet to return to wearing my wedding band. I had gotten out of the habit of wearing it, and that is really saying something, because, other than the few times I was in a hospital, I had never removed my wedding ring (night or day) since my husband placed it on my finger, over twenty-two years ago.

Now, over a year after removing it, there is an impression of that ring still visible on my finger.

It has faded a bit, but only slightly. I have been altered by the symbol of the vow I made all those years ago. It is a permanent scar, forever there to remind me of that vow I made with my words.

That is what the impression of a scar does, it reminds us. It can remind us of when we were a child and suffered a deep wound. A scar reminds us of the surgery that may have saved our life. A scar reminds us of pain.

But a scar, like the one on my ring finger, can also remind us of the hope of a new life with someone, of dreams fulfilled, and ones yet to happen. It can remind us of overcoming pain, of beating struggles, of memories made, and secrets shared and children shared, and a sense of oneness with another that can only be shared by two who bear the same scars.

One of these days I will pull that gold band back out (or maybe hubby will) and place it back on my finger. Until then, there is a permanent scar, an indelible impression that reminds me every day of the past, and the present, and the future to come.

“Children show scars like medals.

Lovers use them as secrets to reveal.

A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.”

Leonard Cohen

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Love and the New Year

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged Living in the Future, Living in the Past, Looking Back, Looking Forward, Love, New Year, Philippians, Philippians 3 on January 4, 2012| Leave a Comment »

A new year is like a new love relationship …

When a relationship is fresh and new there is so much excitement, so much possibility.

But, a new love relationship cannot be fully enjoyed if we continually look back to life before this love entered our life. If someone in a new relationship continually reminisces about previous love interests, the future does not look so attractive.

Similarly, a new year is fresh and there is great excitement and possibility. It is a clean slate, on which you can write your hopes, dreams and intentions (and resolutions).

But, as this new year gets going it will be tempting to talk about the events of the past. The amazing Valentine’s truffles that you enjoyed last year, or the tiptop physique you had a few years back (like a decade or two ago), or the year you read through the entire Bible (which, coincidentally, coincided with the college course you were taking on ‘reading the Bible in a year’), or how well behaved your children were when they were little (you cannot remember where you left your wallet this morning and you expect me to believe that you can remember how well behaved your children were forty years ago?).

So, lets focus on where we are going, and on what is ahead. It means we need to embrace the reality of life today, and this year, not living in the past.

Looking back happens, but to move forward we need to be facing forward, not glancing back!

“One thing I do:

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,

I press on toward the goal

to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:13-14

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New Years Day 2012

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged 2012, Choice, Happy New Year, January 1, Love, New Year, New Years Day, New Years Eve, Resolutions on January 1, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Many of us awake today, January 1, 2012, on the same day that we went to sleep. Whether we were at a rousing house party, a midnight mass, dancing with friends, drinking a warm cup of milk alone in the quiet of the night, or watching the ball drop in New York City (live, or, more likely, on the tube) we saw the new year in.

Now, like that empty notebook paper on the first day of school, we start afresh. We arise to a new day, a new month and a new year.

So, what are we going to write on this fresh page of 2012?

Last week I went to a movie with my girls. We saw the movie New Years Eve, and I have to say I loved it. In the words of the character played by Katherine Heigl, “there’s gonna be more celebrities here than rehab,” and that is certainly the case with the cast line up for this movie.

I was nervously expecting there to be awkward scenes causing regret on my part for taking my daughters (especially the fourteen year old). Not only was it relatively UN-awkward for me as a mom, but it also left me with a something to ponder.

The following is the final narration in the movie,”it’s OK to listen to your heart. I know it’s risky. Go ahead and take that leap. There are so many things you can’t control: earthquakes, war, famine. It’s important to remember the things we can control, things like love and forgiveness. … Love in every one of its forms. Loves gives us hope. Hope for the New Year.”

It IS important to remember the things we can control … and most of those things that we can control have to do with our choices. So, for 2012, lets choose to love. It is only one resolution, and yet I think it could change our whole year.

Happy New Year!

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